by Amber Lia | Jan 27, 2022 | Life Advice, Wisdom
There I was, standing in the dark with the glow of the refrigerator light in my face. I scanned quickly to find the carton of chocolate ice cream. With every scoop into my bowl, I felt a mix of desire and depression. Still, I scooped on. My nightly ritual of unwinding from a busy day of parenting my sons, working from home, and running our household had reached an all-time low. My unhealthy pattern of turning to food for comfort was not serving me well, and I knew it. Each day, I felt more and more sluggish, overwhelmed by my to-do list, and uncomfortable in my body. As I sank on the couch to lose myself in the moment, I began to berate myself. “Amber, what is wrong with you?” I lamented. “You have no self-control and are failing once again!”
I have said some pretty terrible things about myself, to myself, in my lifetime. The subject was often about my body or my failed attempts to get healthy. Every one of them was an affront to not only me, but to God. In my heart, I knew that He wouldn’t want me saying those things, but my insecurities, shame, and fear crowded out both logic and truth. Sometimes, we can be our own worst enemies. And make no mistake, our true enemy, the Devil, loves to whisper triggers in our ears, especially when we engage in negative self-talk.
As believers, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1, ESV) No condemnation. Not for our sin; not for our health journey. If God does not condemn us, why then should we condemn ourselves? God made us in His image, so to degrade ourselves is to suggest that God didn’t do a good work when He made us. Those are dangerous thoughts. Psalm 139 counters that kind of thinking. The Psalmist writes, “Your works are wonderful, I know that full well” to describe the way God formed our bodies in our mothers’ wombs.
The struggle is real, however. You know how it is. We start a sugar fast and by day 12 we make scones with lemon curd and whipped cream. We tell ourselves we are failures. Worthless. Unable to succeed. Weak. “She’s better than me,” or “I’ll never be able to overcome my sugar addiction,” or “My family culture won’t let me eat healthy.” We sink in shame or steam with anger toward ourselves when we do things we don’t want to do.
The chatter in our minds is often unfriendly. I like to call it “Stanley chatter.” He’s a bad dude. His MO is fear, lies, and discouragement. The chatter makes statements like, “My friends have faster metabolisms, and I am stuck with what I’ve got,” “I’m just big boned,” or “Everyone in my family looks like this. It’s just my genes.” We listen to Stanley and tell ourselves things like, “I can’t give up tortillas,” or “It’s too hard to exercise in cold weather,” or “Tomorrow I will begin a diet, but today I may as well indulge.” But tomorrow never comes. The things we think today are the same things we will think tomorrow if we don’t disrupt our unhealthy pattern of thinking. Stanley’s got to go!
Philippians 4:8 (NIV) gives us a holy filter for our thought life:
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
Whenever we talk about habit formation, it begins with identifying the unhealthy pattern and then exchanging it for a God-honoring habit. But take it a step further. When it’s negative self-talk, don’t just exchange it. Demolish it. When the lie, excuse, or fear comes to mind, that’s the moment of truth. Evaluate whether that thought is true. Ask yourself if it is lovely. Consider whether it is admirable. Is it right? Is it noble? If not, then it’s time to chuck the chatter.
“I’m just big boned” is replaced with, “I’ve never actually measured my bones. These rolls of fat have nothing to do with bone structure. This is excess fat and it’s not good for me. It is possible to change that.”
“I’m just weaker than her. There is something wrong with me that makes me fail every time” is replaced with “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me—even choosing the salad instead of the pasta.”
Learning to challenge our thoughts and take them captive and obedient unto Christ isn’t just a good tool for getting physically healthy. The renewing of our minds is also critical for every aspect of our lives. Your health journey is not just about burning fat but burning down every thought that blazes a wrong trail on your path to success.
Jesus is our Friend.
Do the words you speak to yourself sound like something a friend would say? Or an enemy? The answer to that question, and these practical ways of combating negative self-talk will help you face your food triggers and embrace the truth that you are valuable and loved beyond measure. You are not stuck, paralyzed by your thoughts. Yes, your enemy is going to speak lies and accusations to you. But 2 Chronicles 16:9 says, “For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” Let those comforting words echo through the chambers of your heart and no other voice will be able to speak lounger than that truth.
Dear Lord, please silence the chatter in my head that tries to discourage me and lie to me. I don’t want to listen to my own negative self-talk anymore. I invite Your goodness and grace to rule my mind as I silence anything that is not true, or good, or praiseworthy. Thank You, Lord for speaking truth to my heart and for loving me and accepting me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!
___________
Amber Lia is an independent certified health coach who has been on her own transformative health journey. She is the author of the new book, Food Triggers: Exchanging Unhealthy Patterns for God-Honoring Habits. Amber and her husband co-run the faith-friendly production company Storehouse Media Group, and they live in Southern California with their four boys. To learn more, visit AmberLia.com.
by Sadie Robertson Huff | Jan 25, 2022 | Life Advice, Wisdom
Hey friend! Excited to share with you an excerpt from chapter two of my new book, Who Are You Following?, available for pre-order now! I can’t wait to walk through this book with my friends in the LO sister app, and I would LOVE for you to join me in doing so! Join the book club group inside LO sis today 🙂
In the Bible Jesus’ disciples knew exactly who they were looking for, and when they found Him, they stopped “scrolling” and dropped everything to follow Him. That seems like a wild concept: to be able to just drop your plans in life and follow someone you have never met. But many of us do that all the time without even realizing it. We follow people on social media that we have never met and will most likely never meet, and we begin to change things about ourselves without even realizing we are doing it.
It might not happen overnight, but in time you will start to look like who you follow. You can’t help it. The first time I saw bike shorts, I looked at a friend and said, “I’ll never wear those.” It’s now two years later, and I have three pairs. Have you ever noticed how friend groups all start looking alike? It’s incredible how fast a trend can take hold.
Many of these things are just silly, like fashions, dance moves, or even phrases that come and go, so what’s the worry? We may not be really changing our lives, but this shifting of our values— the things that we once said we would never do and now find ourselves doing—can happen on a deeper level. Maybe it was a thought shift from caring about who God says you are to caring more about who people say you are. Or maybe it was a priority shift from putting others first to only caring about yourself and doing what makes you the happiest. We are all being moved and shaped by the people we follow in much more important things: our beliefs, our morals, our values.
Now, back to the disciples. Let’s read John 1:35–41 to understand why they decided to follow Jesus the moment they saw Him.
“John was standing with two of his disciples, and he looked at Jesus as he walked by and said, “Behold, the Lamb of God!” The two disciples heard him say this, and they followed Jesus. Jesus turned and saw them following and said to them, “What are you seeking?” And they said to him, “Rabbi” (which means Teacher), “where are you staying?” He said to them, “Come and you will see.” So they came and saw where he was staying, and they stayed with him that day, for it was about the tenth hour. One of the two who heard John speak and followed Jesus was Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother. He first found his own brother Simon and said to him, “We have found the Messiah.” (esv, emphasis added)
A little backstory so that we can understand the gravity of this moment: For hundreds of years there were prophecies that a Messiah was coming. At this point in history, John the Baptist had been out in the wilderness preaching about the coming Messiah. There were many people who believed and were waiting for the prophecies to be fulfilled. So on this day, when they heard John say that Jesus was the one they’d been waiting for, they asked Jesus where He was staying and immediately followed Him.
Now that you know the context, you can understand why, when Jesus asked them, “What are you seeking?” they didn’t answer with, “We don’t know.” Instead, they said, “We have found the Messiah.” They’d finally found what they were looking for. So they dropped everything they were doing and began to follow Him wherever He was going.
I love how immediately after gaining this following, Jesus turned and asked, “What are you seeking?” He gave them a moment to reflect on their intentions. He sought to make sure that they weren’t just aimlessly following someone because they heard it was cool or because they just thought He seemed legit. They were able to commit to following Him because He was who they were looking for, and they knew He was leading in the direction they wanted to go.
We need to be more intentional about what we are looking for so that we can be intentional about who we begin to follow. This is true not just on social media but also in our real-life relationships, including future friends, spouses, mentors, or work associates. If you do not know what you’re looking for in a future spouse, you will end up in situations you never imagined yourself in. If you don’t know the kind of person you want to be friends with, you may join friend groups that lead you away from your desired version of yourself. If you don’t know the job you want, you may sign up for whatever opportunity comes your way, even if it’s not helping you move toward your goals. The disciples set the best example for us because they knew what they wanted and where they wanted to go—and so the second they saw Jesus, they dropped everything else and started following Him.
Matthew 6:33 says, “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (esv). Notice that the verse does not just say to seek the kingdom, but to seek the kingdom first. Many of us may have Jesus on our list of things we are following, but if we are honest, He is nowhere near first place in our searching, and then we wonder why we don’t experience the goodness of His love and the life that He has for us. We want the blessing of Jesus, but we don’t want the commitment of following Him. This verse tells us all these things will be added to us if we seek Him first. So it’s as simple as can be: if you seek God, you will find the things of God. Whatever you seek you are going to find, so the question of “What are you seeking?” might be the most important one to answer.
by Sadie Robertson Huff | Jan 20, 2022 | Featured, Life Advice, Wisdom |
I am SO excited to share this excerpt from my new book, Who Are You Following?, available for pre-order now! I pray this encourages you and meets you where you’re at, friend!
I remember as a kid not being happy about being told to follow someone I didn’t deem worthy of being a leader. In elementary school our class had a special role assigned each week, the job of line leader. You didn’t have to do anything to get this leadership position; you just waited for your turn in alphabetical order. This meant that even the worst kid in the class was going to be the line leader at some point, which meant that you were going to have to follow him. There was even a song: “We’re following the leader, the leader, the leader. We’re following the leader, wherever he may go.” Following the line leader really bothered me. Even then I was aware of and thinking about who I was following and whether they were leading me in the right direction.
Or maybe your teachers assigned someone to “watch the class” while they were out of the room. Wasn’t it the worst when they assigned someone you knew wasn’t worthy of that role? The kid who was always causing trouble when the teacher wasn’t looking was suddenly the one “in charge.”
As an adult I’ve looked in the mirror and asked myself, Was I more bothered by who I was following and where they were taking me when I was a kid than I am now, when it matters more? My answer? Yes.
Be honest with yourself. I don’t think I’m the only one who would answer that question with a yes.
It’s easy to follow someone during their ten minutes of fame—the person with the biggest viral videos on TikTok, the trending “it” couple on Instagram, the reality star with the most dramatic scene of the week. Recently I heard someone say they think TikTok is the worst thing for our generation and they’d never let their own kid have it, yet they use it for their own entertainment. Don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing wrong with entertainment, but when we admit that this form of entertainment is “the worst thing for our generation,” we must be ready to ask ourselves, “Is this the way I should be entertaining myself?”
I, too, scroll through certain social media platforms more than I realize, more than I plan to. Especially when I look up and thirty minutes or an hour—time I’ll never get back—is gone. But the real question is, Who do we really want to follow? Especially when we realize that who we are following is influencing us and the way we live our lives.
Most of us don’t even realize the power that others’ influence has over us. If you’ve purchased something from a swipe-up link on Instagram, you’ve been influenced. If you’ve looked in the mirror and felt a little differently about your beautiful body after seeing perfect (and likely edited) bikini photos online, you’ve been influenced. You’ve been influenced if you can’t figure out why you’re lonely, why you’re insecure, why you struggle so much with confidence, and why you’re not finding the relationships you want to be in. At some point, you might even realize the power of influence when suddenly you’re looking in the mirror at a stranger.
The term influencer is a new one. It was just added to Merriam Webster Collegiate Dictionary in 2019. When social media began, it didn’t take long before companies started realizing that people were actually following what others online were doing, wearing, and using. So they tapped them to advertise their products. There is nothing wrong with this; I think it just highlights a fact that we can’t ignore: we are being influenced on social media. It’s literally in people’s job titles.
Not all social media influence is bad influence. Many of you probably heard about this book from social media. Maybe you watched a sermon online that changed your life. Maybe you met your spouse on social media! Social media is what we make it. I am merely pointing out that overall, the influence social media has had on our lives is negative. We can blame tech companies all day long, but I say this is our problem to fix.
The dirty little secret of social media is that we are often following people who don’t have a clear direction in life and may or may not really know who they are. So how in the world could we expect them to help us find who we are? Those women online with seemingly perfect bodies, the people in perfect relationships, and the perfect moms with angelic children? They are struggling with the same things we are, because they are human and have the same twenty-four hours in a day that we all do. In fact, there are times people even seem to view me like that. I get comments on my posts that say, “It must be nice to not have problems like xyz.” But the fact is, I totally have those everyday problems. I just don’t share them on social media.
When you follow the wrong directions on a map, you end up lost. When you follow the wrong influences in your life, you will find yourself in that very same position—lost. There is no sense wasting our lives searching in all the wrong directions when there is a clear direction for all the things we desire in life.
So how do we follow the right path in life?
Matthew 7:7–8 says, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” Friend, I want you to have your own direction in life. Let’s spend some time together asking, seeking, and knocking.
by Amy Weatherly | Jan 18, 2022 | Life Advice, Wisdom
A few years ago, I had a simple revelation. My dad was in the thick of a battle with kidney disease—the same thing that killed his dad, my Poppy, right before I was born. My dad was living off dialysis, both of his kidneys had been removed, and he was waiting and hoping for a transplant, not knowing whether one would ever be available. The process is grueling and gut wrenching in every way imaginable. I was coming to terms with possibly losing the man who raised me, while being tested for kidney disease myself. I was grappling with life and death. I was begging God to hear my prayers, and I was feeling like they were bouncing off the clouds right back to the ground where I was lying in a muddled heap. It wasn’t exactly the happiest time of my life.
I was in a season where the fragility of life was all too clear for me, and I began to wonder what people would say about me after I was gone. Would they say I was kind? Would they say that I’d lived for Jesus? Would they say I’d given it all to his glory? Would they say I was inspiring and courageous? Would they say I wasted most of the precious time God gave me because I was consumed with the desire to earn others’ approval? Would they say I’d lived with freedom and abandon, or would they say I’d always been a shell of a girl who desperately wanted to fit in?
In the middle of these storms, while wrestling with my worth and wondering if it would ever be possible for me to cut ties with my lifelong addiction to people pleasing, I took my kids out for some fine dining of waffle fries and chicken nuggets. I looked around, and it was like a bolt of lightning hit me: I can’t be everyone’s Chick-fil-A sauce. And that one, simple sentence—those six little words—changed everything for me. Let me explain.
I was sitting at Chick-fil-A while my kids were running in and out of the play place, when I noticed something I’d never given much thought to before. On one woman’s tray, I saw ketchup and ranch. At another table, I saw packets of barbeque, Polynesian, and honey mustard sauce. I had chosen Chick-fil-A sauce myself because let’s be serious—it’s the best one. It’s utterly bizarre to me that anyone would want anything else, but that’s the thing: people aren’t the same.
Everyone chooses differently. Everyone’s needs vary. Everyone’s wants fluctuate. Everyone brings different things to the table, and everyone expects to take different things away. Nobody is the same. Nobody prioritizes in an identical manner, and there is no one standard to what makes a person a good friend, so I probably shouldn’t take it so personally when someone doesn’t like me, when someone doesn’t want to be my bestie, when I feel left out or excluded. I mean, I can’t be everyone’s Chick-fil-A sauce, and neither can you.
For some people, you are going to be too salty, and for others, you’re going to be too sweet. For some, you will be too bold, and for others, you won’t have nearly enough flavor. You will be both too much and not enough for some people’s taste buds, and that’s okay.
God didn’t make you to be loved by everyone. He didn’t make you to be generic and bland. He did not send you to this earth so that you could be invited to all the parties or included in every group text. He did not carefully form you and make you and meticulously count the number of hairs on your head so that you could be popular or please all the people. He made you to love him and to follow him and to carry out his very specific purpose by being your very distinct flavor.
Your flavor won’t be for everyone. It’s essential that you accept this, move on, and start walking in confidence like a woman who has been set free. One of the reasons I wrote I’ll Be There (But I’ll Be in Sweatpants) with my friend Jess Johnston was to encourage women to excuse themselves from tables not meant for them.
The next time the devil tries to attack you or make you crumble over the vicious lie that something is inherently wrong with who you are because you are feeling rejected, alone, or picked over; the next time Satan tries to get you so fixated on being liked that you forget the battle has already been won; the next time you begin to pile all that pressure on yourself; and the next time you begin to believe that the “prize” is some nonexistent trophy, remember to come up for air and breathe.
None of that is from God. The Enemy is trying to get you so entangled in your own self-doubt that you shut up and stay home. He’s trying to keep you so exhausted with the stress of maintaining the status quo that you don’t have anything left to give back to God. So your focus will shift from pleasing God to pleasing people.
You can’t be everyone’s Chick-fil-A sauce. That’s not your job. Your job is to run the race that’s been set out before you. Run it hard. Run it long. Run it well. Run it in your very own style.
Run with arms wide open toward faith and hope. Give grace. Chase after gratitude. Bring joy with you everywhere you go. Do what God’s asked you to do and keep your eyes on him. Be encouraging and kind and open. Keep fighting whatever your “thing” is. You might not wake up and instantly be cured, but take little steps every single day to get closer to where you want to be and then breathe. A pure heart won’t be enough for everyone, but it’ll be enough in the end.
If you are looking for a community of women to get real about the ins and the outs, the ups and the downs, and all the in-betweens of friendship, visit Sister, I Am With You and pick up Amy & Jess’ new book, I’ll Be There (But I’ll Be in Sweatpants).
Adapted from I’ll Be There (But I’ll Be Wearing Sweatpants) by Jess Johnston and Amy Weatherly. Copyright ©2022 by Jess Johnston and Amy Weatherly. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson. www.thomasnelson.com.
Amy Weatherly is a Texas girl through and through, which is where she lives with her husband, three kids, and two rescue dogs–Lou and Brewster. She is passionate about helping women embrace courage, confidence, and purpose for their life, and she does it with a quick wit and down-to-earth sense of humor. She has written for the Today Show, MSN.com, Good Morning America, Yahoo.com, and Love What Matters.
by Jennifer Wagner | Jan 13, 2022 | Life Advice, Wisdom |
My story is an extreme example of the truth that weight loss does not automatically make us love our bodies.
At 336 pounds, just out of high school, I found myself having walked through much of life in a body larger than the majority of the bodies around me. From as far back as kindergarten, peers had relentlessly spewed harsh words at me, and these insults were a constant reminder that my body was taking up too much space. I was too big. I needed to lose weight.
For years I believed that there must be something innately wrong with me because I couldn’t seem to lose the weight that the whole world was telling me to lose. Over and over again my attempts at shrinking my body left me drowning in a pool of despair as I swam through the reality that my body would never be good enough.
But a few years after high school something clicked. I reached a moment of rock-bottom desperation, and with a little guidance I began making changes in my eating and exercise habits and did the thing that so many of us want to do.
I lost the weight.
Over the course of several years, I made small changes like paying better attention to what foods I was using to nourish my body and making an effort to move my body more regularly. I dropped more than 150 pounds, and though I found myself nearly half my size, I discovered the shocking realization that I was still unhappy with the girl in the mirror.
I had made enormous changes to my physical body, but in the meantime, I had missed a gigantic piece of the wellness puzzle. I was so focused on working on my body that I failed to see my body—in all of its in-between stages—as good.
The True Transformation
When I was a size 28, I wished I was a 16.
When I was a 16, I wished I was a 14.
When I was a 14, I wished I was a 10.
When I was a 10, I wished I was a 6.
When I finally adopted unhealthy habits that brought me all the way down to that desperately-hoped-for size 6, I realized that the size of my body wasn’t the issue after all. And by that time, I wanted nothing more than to be totally free from the hamster-wheel race toward the smallest version of myself.
That’s when I realized that the transformation that needed to happen had nothing to do with the physical appearance of my body and everything to do with my mind and heart. I could lose all the weight, drop down to the smallest pants size, and fit into the recommended category on the BMI chart at the doctor’s office and I still wouldn’t be at peace with my body if I didn’t begin to shift my thinking.
There’s a Scripture verse that I love in Romans 12:2 (NLT), and it says, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.”
That line “transform you into a new person by changing the way you think” leaps off the page at me as I realize that I spent so many years thinking that the change that was most necessary was physical, when in reality there was a transformation process that God was leading me toward all along.
When I started seeing the mindset shift that needed to happen, it became apparent to me that I would have to cling to the hand of God as I walked toward freedom. For the longest time I didn’t think God cared about my body image struggles. But when I started opening my heart up to Him about these things, He started showing me actionable steps that I could take to overcome the negative things I was feeling.
Today I’m sharing three action steps that have helped me in this incredible heart-and-mind transformation journey.
1. Stop Comparing
We know that the comparison trap is ever-pervasive, but sometimes we fail to realize we’re falling into it even when it comes to our bodies. Whether on social media or among friends in real life, it’s easy to compare our body to someone else’s. It’s also easy to compare our right-now body to the body we lived in yesteryear (pre-baby, or in high school, or fill in the blank . . .) or the body we hope to have one day.
Galatians 5:26 (MSG) offers such incredible guidance. It says “We will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.”
You are an original. Stop comparing yourself to someone else and go enjoy the beautiful life you’re called to live.
2. Fix Your Focus
If you’ve struggled with your relationship with your body for a long time, it can consume your life. You may find yourself reducing every bite of food down to a scientific equation to lose weight, or you may work out like crazy because you think you have to.
But God offers us a shift in our approach. I love the perspective in Romans 12:1-2 (MSG), which says, “So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out.”
Instead of falling into the culture surrounding you that constantly reinforces the wrong message that your body should completely consume your time and energy, focus on the life, calling, gifts, and abilities that God has placed right in front of you. There is so much more to you than your body. Focus on the amazing things He’s called you to, without allowing thoughts about your body to take up so much space in your mind and heart.
3. Implement Thought Swaps
You can’t stop the negative self-thoughts from popping into your head, but you can decide what to do with them.
I love the powerful words of wisdom given in 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 (KJV): “Though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh. (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to pulling down of strongholds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ”
First, start by noticing (without judgment) the inner dialogue that’s happening in your heart; then begin to capture every thought, aligning it with the Word of God. It may help to jot down a few body-positive affirmations so that you’re equipped to swap the negative thoughts with life-giving ones.
We can make all the changes to our physical bodies that we want to, but none of those changes will offer us the complete freedom that comes when we start to see ourselves the way God sees us. It’s worth the effort, my friend.
Jennifer Taylor Wagner is a certified fitness instructor and successful blogger. She is passionate about challenging the way we think about health, wellness, and regularly writes on the topics of healthy living and body positivity. Whether it’s hosting online webinars, speaking in churches, or chatting at MOPS meetings, she is committed to helping others find hope in their journey. Jennifer lives in Virginia with her husband, Phil and their two kids. Visit her online at jennifertaylorwagner.com.
by Sadie Robertson Huff | Jan 11, 2022 | Life Advice, Sadie's Sermons, Wisdom |
Hi friend, I am so excited to share my message from Passion 2022 with you! I pray this encourages you and speaks Truth into your life!
Starting out, I need to say that what I know more than anything is that the enemy does not want you to receive the message I’m about to share. I know the enemy doesn’t want you to be reminded of who you are and what you’re called to do. But the enemy cannot stop the move of God.
I want to take this time to remind you of who you are. I want to talk about identity, which should be a great conversation, right? As a culture, we love to talk about identity. We’re actually obsessed with it. We love talking about the enneagram, myers-briggs test, or any kind of online quiz we can take. We even like to talk about our childhood self and how we became who we are today. But it’s kind of strange, because even though we love talking about who we are, nobody actually likes to be hit with the question, “who are you?”
If you’ve ever been in a group setting like the first day of school, and the teacher says to go around the room and say a bit about yourself, it’s pretty awkward, right? All of a sudden, you’re hit with so much insecurity and awkwardness and you start questioning who you are, what you’ve ever done, and what to say in that moment that’s not too cocky but still cool. And that’s kind of a funny moment with silly insecurity and anxiety. But for some of us, the reality is there is true anxiety and insecurity around the thought of “who am I.” Because truthfully you might be sitting there right now thinking, “I have no clue who I am.” And not only is that the case, but you don’t know you’re purpose either. That’s a tough place to be, but you are not alone.
Then there are some of you who are just confused about who you are. You identify with all types of things but none of them are really fulfilling. A few weeks ago, I asked this question on Instagram: What do you identify yourself with? And I had thousands of answers. Some of which included looks, sororities, grades, gender, sexuality, race, disabilities. Then I had tons of people say, “I don’t know.” But then there are some of you who are confident to answer the question of “who am I?” Your answer is simple. “I am who You say I am.” But I want to follow up with this question: Has that actually changed who you are? Has who He says that you are actually changed the nature of who you are? Because we can say it all day long with confidence, but that doesn’t mean we’re confident people. You see, there was a time in my life when I could tell you all about who He says I am. Yet, I was still insecure and living in shame. So, what He said about me didn’t actually change me. Friend, you can know everything He says about you. But what ultimately matters is who He is to you. If He’s not on the throne of your life, then what He says about you isn’t going to change who you are.
So, as we dive into the topic of identity, I have another question for you. The answer to this question is going to tell us who we are and what we’re going to do with our lives. I want us to take a look at Matthew 16:13. But before I get there, I want to paint a backstory of the situation. Jesus is having a conversation with His disciples. It’s a huge conversation between Peter and Jesus in Caesarea, Philippi, a city known as the gates of hell. At the time, Caesarea was the central place for false worship. If you went to this city, you’d see temples lined up everywhere, all serving different gods. It’s a little strange that this is the place Jesus decided to have this conversation. But I know He had a purpose for it. So, as he’s surrounded by all these people worshipping other gods, he asks the question, “who am I?”
“When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?” They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” (Matthew 16:13-19)
I want to emphasize how big of a moment this is. Here at the “gates of hell,” Jesus is telling Peter He was going to use him as a rock for His church. Notice that when Peter recognized who Jesus was, Jesus in return, told Peter who he was. Peter’s identity was not found in who he or anyone else thought he was. It was found in who Jesus said he was after first establishing that Jesus is God. That’s the most important question you can answer. Who is God? Because whoever is on the throne of your life is going to be the one telling you who you are. Therefore, if God is God to you, then that should change everything about who you are. Who we believe we are will directly impact us to do the things we do in life.
After Peter was given his identity, he then was given his mission to build the church. What we’re trying to do as a culture is allowing the world to tell us who we are, attempting to establish ourselves in the world, then trying to have purpose and live with intention for the Gospel of Jesus. But those two things contradict each other. Because who the world tells you that you are, and what God calls you to do are typically not going to go hand in hand. We find ourselves studying the enneagram to find out who we are more than studying the Word of God to find out who we are. We’re scrolling through social media trying to find answers to these massive questions about who we are instead of leaning into the voice of God.
Let me clarify, I’m a big fan of those things. I’m a 6 wing 7 on the enneagram and could tell you all there is to know about it. I’m an ENFP and I know my zodiac sign. But none of that could tell me more about who I am than the one who knit me together in my mother’s womb. See, what happens is when I say those are the things I identify with, it excuses me to not have to be who I am called to be. I could say, “I’m a 6 so I’m just going to be afraid because that’s who I am.” But the Word of God says that you’ve not been given a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and self-control. So, we have to ask ourselves if we believe more about what the enneagram says about us or what God says about us.
I was at a friend’s wedding recently and everyone was sharing speeches at the rehearsal dinner. So, the mom of the groom stood up to speak and started her speech off with a very profound statement. She said, “Son, although nothing about giving you away feels natural, it is extremely biblical.” When I heard this, I couldn’t help but think about how true that is for so many areas in life. There are a lot of things in life that won’t come natural to us, but are extremely biblical. It’s not natural for me to turn the other cheek when someone slaps me across the face, but it’s biblical. It’s not natural for me to want to go the second mile with someone, but Jesus says that if a brother asks you to go one mile, then go another. It’s not natural for me to forgive someone who has hurt me, but the Word of God says to forgive seventy times seven. It’s not natural for us to even want to live sometimes because we wake up and feel like a failure. But it is biblical that your life has meaning and purpose.
Friend, there will be times in life when some things might legitimately feel natural, but even more legitimate than those feelings is the Truth of what God says that you are. Notice that I didn’t say your truth or my truth. I said THE Truth. One day I googled the verse John 8:32, “and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Jesus was listed as one of the many who said that the truth will set you free. But the reason it was so powerful when Jesus said it is because He is the Truth and He actually has the power to set you free. He is the way to freedom and will lead you to the Father. Culture will tell you that your truth will do the same thing, but that is a lie. So many of us want to be our own version of truth. Love, power, control. But what we have to consider is when we try to take on these God-like attributes, we’ve got to carry the weight of our sin. And we’re not able to do that. It’s the same thing Eve faced in the garden. She desired this apple, then the enemy tried to convince her that if she ate the apple, she would be like God. It’s that same temptation for us. We want to be like God. As soon as Eve took a bite of the apple, she realized that was all a lie.
My daughter, Honey, is the best little girl ever. I’m obsessed with her, if you haven’t already been able to tell from my social media. She is so fun and such a wiggle worm. So, with that personality, you can probably assume that she hates the car seat. If Honey could talk, she’d probably tell me that sitting in her car seat is not natural and it is her truth that she doesn’t need a car seat. But what I don’t do is agree with her and excuse her from the car seat. Instead, I strap her in as tightly as I can. Not because I’m trying to hold her back from who she truly is, but because I know what’s best for her life. Just because her truth may be different, it doesn’t mean that the effects of a car crash would be any different for her.
Just because we have a different truth doesn’t mean the effects of sin will be any different for us. Proverbs 16:25 says, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end, it leads to destruction.” And we have to trust God enough to know that He created us with beautiful intention and design. There is something amazing about the fact that He made us all original and diverse. But we can’t go find out more about our originality and identity by who the world says we are. We have to find that in who God is.
There’s a part in The Lion King that represents this so well. Simba had been living his hakuna matata lifestyle after he’d run from all his worry and shame from his past life. Then one day, as he was going to wash his face in the water, he looked and saw his father’s reflection instead of his own. All of a sudden, he was reminded of who he was and what he was called to do. Then he realized that he had to go back to his homeland of Pride Rock where destruction had been taking place. As he shows up back home and lets out a huge roar, Scar, the enemy in the move, turns around and with fear in his eyes says, “Mufasa?” He recognized Simba’s father’s voice in him.
Friend, when you get a good look at who God is and you know who you are, the enemy will no longer try to intimidate you, because he’s intimidated by who God is in you. “It’s no longer I that live, but Christ who lives within me.” (Galatians 2:20)
It doesn’t matter if we try to figure out who we are. What really matters is us trying to figure out who God is. Knowing who God is has changed everything about me. There’s a message from Priscilla Shirer that I’ve likely listened to 1,000 times because I need a reminder of who God is every day of my life. It’s called “Who’s Your Daddy.” I want to declare the same message over you.
Priscilla says she looks in the mirror and asks, “Girl, who’s your daddy?” Then she reminds herself, “He’s the beginning and the end. He’s the keeper of creation and the creator of all. He’s the architect of the universe and the manager of all time. He always was, always is, always will be, unchanged, undefeated, and never undone. He was bruised, but brought healing. He was pierced but eased pain. He was persecuted but brought freedom. He is risen to bring power and He reigns to bring peace. He is light, He is love, He is longevity, and He is the Lord. He is goodness, power, faithfulness, and He is God. He is righteous, powerful, and pure. His ways are right and His will is eternal. His mind is unchanging and His mind is on us. He’s our Savior, our God, our peace, our Lord, our comfort, our joy, and He rules our life. He is the wisdom of the wise, the power of the powerful, the leader of all leaders, the ancient of days, the ruler of all rulers. His goal was a relationship with me. He’ll never leave you, never mislead you, never forsake you, never forget you, never overlook you, and never cancel your appointment in His appointment book. When you fall, He will lift you up. When you fail, He will forgive you. When you are weak, He is strong. When you are afraid, He is your courage. When you are broken, He will mend you. When you are blind, He will lead you. When you are hungry, He will feed you. When you face trials, He is with you. When I face persecution, He shields me. When I face problems, He will comfort me. When I face loss, He will provide for me. When we face death, He will carry us all home to meet Him. He is everything to everyone every time everywhere and in every way. He is your God and that is who you belong to.”
If you believe that is who your God is, you will not be confused by who you are because He’s not confused by who He is. And He is not confused on the purpose of your life. Friend, you must know that the gates of hell shall not prevail past His Kingdom. The God in you can do more than you could ever think of, ask for, dream, or imagine.
