by Max Lucado | Dec 21, 2021 | Life Advice, Wisdom
There he was, nearly 80 years old, living in a sleepy village outside Rome, Italy, with his books and seven cats. His wife had been dead for seven years and his only daughter worked in Afghanistan. He lived a silent rhythm, seldom venturing out, rarely speaking to others.
He was lonely. And on the day, he decided to do something about it, Giorgio Angelozzi put himself up for adoption. That’s right – the octogenarian sought a family. He placed a classified ad in Italy’s largest daily newspaper: “79-year-old seeks family in need of a grandfather. Would bring 500 Euros a month to a family willing to adopt him.”
The ad changed his life.
The paper ran a front-page article about him. Inquiries poured in from Colombia, New Zealand, and New Jersey. Angelozzi was an overnight celebrity. He we went from having nothing but time, to having scarcely enough time to handle interviews and requests.
A pop star responded. A millionaire offered servants and a seaside villa. But one letter stood out, Angelozzi explained, because every member of the family – father, mother, sister, brother – had signed it.
Last reports have him happily settled in their ground floor apartment, taking walks in the garden, helping with dishes and homework. “I couldn’t have chosen better,” he says, “Maybe it was luck, or maybe it was God looking after me, I don’t know.”
The latter option makes the best sense. Loneliness is never the product of heaven. Among our Maker’s first recorded words were these: “It is not good for man to be alone.” (Gen. 2:18 NIV).
He gets no argument from us. We may relish moments of solitude – but a lifetime of it? No way. Many of us know the language of loneliness.
- No one knows me. People know my name, but not my heart. They know my face, but not my feelings. I have a social security number, but I don’t have a social life or a soul mate. No one really knows me. Moreover:
- No one’s near me. The last two years have taught us the meaning of words like social distancing and quarantine- leaving us lonelier than ever. We want someone to be near us. Ever since Eve emerged from the bones of Adam – we’ve been reaching out to touch one another. We need to make a connection. And, we need to make a difference. The anthem of the lonely heart has a third sad chorus:
- No one needs me. The kids used to need me…The business used to need me…My spouse never needs me…The lonely fight feelings of insignificance. Desiring to be remembered, one wealthy mid-west man had an ATM machine installed at his gravesite. When his heirs wanted cash from his estate, they had to go to his grave – enter a PIN number and take the receipt to the bank. He didn’t want to be forgotten. The lonely think they will be.
What do we do? How do we manage thoughts of isolation? How do we cope with loneliness? Some stay busy, others stay drunk. Some buy pets, others buy lovers. Some seek therapy. And a few, a precious few, seek God.
This is God’s plan. His ultimate solution for loneliness isn’t found in a bar or a dating service, a spouse, or a social club. God’s cure for the lonely heart lies in a manger. The babe of Bethlehem. Immanuel. Remember the promise of the Angel? “Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call his name ‘Immanuel’, which is translated ‘God is with us’.” (Mt. 1:23 NKJV).
Not content to be an “above us God” or a “somewhere in the vicinity” God. He came as the “with us God”. God with us.
Will you say these three words aloud with me? God with us.
God with us. Not just: “God with the rich” or “God with the religious”. But God with us. All of us. God with Russians, Germans, truck and taxi drivers, librarians, and libertarians. God with us.
God with us. We love the word, with. “Will you go with me?” We ask. “To the store, to the hospital, through my life?” God says he will. “I am with you always,” Jesus said before he ascended to Heaven, “to the very end of the age.” (Mt. 28:20 NCV). Search for restrictions on the promise, you’ll find none. Nothing like: “I’ll be with you, if you behave, when you believe. I’ll be with you on Sundays, in worship, at Mass.” No, none of that. No “withholding” tax on his “with” promise. He is with us.
God with us.
Let this be the Christmas you come home to Christ. I’d like to close this article with a prayer – a prayer of decision. A decision to follow Jesus. Many of you reading this have made this decision already. Others of you have not – but you want to. Whether you are re-affirming an earlier decision – or making a first decision – will you pray with me?
“Immanuel – you are with us. You are with me. You became a person and took on flesh. You became a savior and took on my sin. I accept your gift. I receive you as my Lord, Savior, and friend. Because of you, I’ll never be alone at Christmas again. AMEN”
Max Lucado is a San Antonio pastor and best-selling author. His most recent book is You Were Made for This Moment: Courage for Today, Hope for Tomorrow (September 2021, Thomas Nelson). He is also the host of the “Max Lucado Encouraging Word” podcast. Visit his website at www.MaxLucado.com or follow him on Twitter: @MaxLucado
by Kaley Thompson | Dec 16, 2021 | Life Advice
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
-John 16:33, NIV
You are a person. I know it’s crazy. But, you are. You are a person with a soul and a calling and a God who loves you so much He appointed you to be in the exact season that you’re in.
We so often forget our humanity. Our microwave, media driven culture makes us think we can be awesome constantly and immediately. We should be robots that crush our goals, speed through to-do lists, get what we want out of life, and look awesome while we do it.
However, the reality is that we are indeed human. We need rest. Life is hard and we cannot run from our emotions forever. We wake up with bedhead and bad breath. Where we want a resounding “YES!” God sometimes says “no,” “not right now,” or is even silent. Sometimes life knocks us down and we feel taken out of the fight.
I wrote a devotional book called “Matrimony, Motherhood, and Me” because this entire season of marriage and motherhood was anything but what I expected.
Around three months after our wedding day, my husband and I came to the harsh realization that we were burnt out in ministry and had started our marriage off on the wrong foot. We quit our jobs and moved across the country with only what would fit in our car. Staff housing for our jobs in Aspen, CO was a transformed motel room where we cooked on a hot plate and washed our dishes in a bathroom sink for a year. Honeymoon phase, what?
The beginning of motherhood was just about as movie script worthy. I plummeted into postpartum anxiety after our first child and don’t think I felt the release of its constrictions on my mind until after our first daughter turned one. It was dark, hard, and full of sleepless nights and panic attacks.
I wanted to be able to trade in my humanity for instant results. I didn’t have the energy to fight anymore and I wanted to quit. “God, remove this!” “God, deliver me!” “God, do you even see this mess??? Clean it up!”
He didn’t. So, I stopped asking God to snap His fingers and make my problems disappear in exchange for begging Him to guide me through this process, join me in the struggle, and fight on my behalf.
And, He did. Every. Single. Time.
Clear as day, I can remember the moment when I started to change my prayer strategy. After battling through another sleepless, anxious night, I came bawling to my husband. As a former professional wakeboarder, he started to coach me as any good sports enthusiast would.
“Listen, Kaley. You just keep letting your insomnia and anxiety hit you in the face. Quit taking it. When are you going to hit back?”
As if I was a boxer training for a fight, I let his words sink in. From what I understand of boxing, which is very little, you not only have to hit back, you have to anticipate, guard your face, protect yourself, and be one step ahead of the opposition.
Biblically, there are three ways we can proactively pray:
1. Pray with audacity, knocking relentlessly on God’s door until He gives us what we need (Matthew 7:7). The adage “the squeaky wheel gets the grease” seems to also be true for our prayer life. If God hasn’t said “no,” then keep going. In the words of the Apostle Paul, “pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:16).”
2. Dismiss Satan’s lies with God’s truth (Philippians 4:8). Satan is the father of lies (John 8:44). If there are disordered thoughts in your head, those aren’t from God. Start with writing down the lies you’re believing and out beside each one, put a truth from God’s Word that counteracts it. This is how Jesus defeated the devil in the desert (Matthew 4). If it was a good enough fight tactic for the Son of God, it’s probably a great one for us too.
3. Fight from victory not for victory (John 16:33). We are on God’s team and know the end of the story. We get the K.O., belt, trophy, and heaven. When we fight as if we’re losing, we often start striving, panicking, or want to give up. If we can put the big picture into perspective, we can remember how the story ends and then track the rest of the battle backwards. This is just a light and momentary struggle compared to the eternal timeline we have in Christ (2 Corinthians 4:17).
God’s call for us all is to let our human depravity come into a direct encounter with His divinity. Where we’re weak, He is mighty. When it’s dark, He is the light. Our story of hurt, He uses to heal. When we want to tap out, God gives us the knockout hit we need to overcome our enemies.
Want the truth? I’ve been wrestling with anxiety for years and I’m still fighting. In the week that I’m writing this, I’ve had a terrible time with insomnia and panic attacks. I wish I could tell you that I have a magic recipe for making struggles go away. However, the verse I use at the top of this blog plainly states that “WE WILL SUFFER.” Hardship is unavoidable but (this is the good part) in Christ we can TAKE HEART.
I’m walking through these three steps daily, right beside you. This is incredibly hard. We may not be delivered when we want to be. However, we can rest assured that fighting the good fight is always worth it and that, with God, we never walk alone. Maybe not today, but victory will come.
I wrote this poem to help you remember that, through Christ, you are an overcomer. You can tell Satan to shove it. Whatever you’re fighting for or through today, keep swinging. You’ve got this because God’s got you. Here it goes:
I’m not afraid of the dark anymore
You don’t have to turn on the light
Satan, what you meant for evil
God will only make right.
Send me into the valley
Just try to bring me down
One day you’ll be cast out
And I’ll wear a heavenly crown.
You can try to burn me up
But you’re only fueling my fire.
When you tried to bring me down
God raised up a fighter.
That pit you tried to throw me in
Taught me how to climb out.
That prison you tried to lock me in
Taught me to praise break out.
I am beauty from ashes
Gold refined in the fire
Thanks for creating the battleground where
God raised up a fighter.
Remember, next time you try to bring me down,
God raised up a fighter.
A prayer for you today:
“Lord, I know that I’m human but sometimes I want to be a robot. I want You to be able to press a button and instantly take away the hardship. Today, I surrender and admit that I am fully human and You are fully God. I hurt, feel and am desperate for You. Will You join me in my suffering today? Will You fight for me when I’m too weak? I want a Healer more than I want my healing. I want Joy more than instant gratification. I want the Victor more than the Victory. If You haven’t delivered me, then You’re developing me. So, meet me where I’m at and take me, step-by-step, in the direction You want me to go. If You have overcome the world, You can certainly carry me through this. I trust You.
In the mighty name of Jesus,
Amen”
“Matrimony, Motherhood, and Me” is a workbook style devotional for married moms with young kids. It’s snappy, to the point, and will inspire you to build community and rethink your legacy. Find out more about ordering HERE.
Kaley Rivera Thompson is an author, copywriter, and worship leader. Her passion to see women love God and each other authentically has led her to lead worship for ministries across the greater Charlotte area and write devotional books for over a decade. When she’s not writing or playing her guitar, Kaley loves to sip strong coffee, go on hikes, or take a day trip to the mountains with her family. She is the wife to TWELVE sports ministry leader, Gage Thompson and the mom to two little girls, Lina and Lili. You can follow her on instagram at @kriverathompson.
by Lisa Anderson | Dec 14, 2021 | Life Advice, Relationships |
I’m single. Never married. As such, I’m a self-proclaimed expert at being a single woman — though no one’s ever given me any awards for this.
Christmas is around the corner, and as any of us singleness ninjas will tell you, knowing how to navigate the Christmas season as a single is a must. By “Christmas season,” I really mean Christmas, New Year’s, and Valentine’s Day — because if you’re single, these three holidays combined are a trifecta of potential holiday horribleness.
Admittedly, there’s a bit to overcome. Every store shelf, selfie, and social media post seems to not-so-subtly say: Lisa, Christmas is for happy couples and families in matching pajamas — not for you. You don’t have a husband. You don’t have kids. You don’t have anyone to match PJs with. Um, you don’t even have cute Christmas PJs. But it doesn’t matter because you’ll just sit at home alone, eating takeout and watching Hallmark’s Countdown to Christmas. So don’t bother.
OK, a simple ad or Insta post can’t say all that, but sometimes it sure feels like it.
It’s easy for a single girl to feel left behind at Christmas. Mass marketing aside, it hurts to be reminded that I don’t have a plus-one for holiday parties. No one’s buying me a ring or planning a killer marriage proposal on a snowy hillside. I’m no one’s gift-buying priority; in fact, I’m no one’s priority at all. And when Christmas is over, I’ll be staring down a new year with just as few relationship prospects as the one before.
If you’re feeling everything I’m saying, hang on. Because here’s the truth: Christmas doesn’t define you. Your social calendar doesn’t define you. Your relationship status doesn’t define you. God defines you.
That’s a whole other post. But in the meantime, with a little preparation, prayer, and perspective, you can ditch the pity party and tub of peppermint stick ice cream (well, maybe keep the ice cream) and rock the holidays like the confident, carefree girl God made you to be. Here are a few ideas to get you started.
Chart your game plan. Christmas is easier to handle when you tell it who’s boss. Don’t let it hit you like the flu; instead, decide now what you want your holiday to look like. Will you visit family? Host others in your home? Are you going to attend that work party, small group party, neighborhood open house?
Take out a calendar and map out the next few weeks. Don’t overcommit and run yourself ragged, but don’t shrink back, either. Decide who and what is important to you, and let the rest go. Balance fun stuff with restful stuff, party plans with times for renewal and reflection. If it’s critical that you’re not alone on Christmas, make sure you aren’t. Even if you can’t get to family this year, find a friend and share the day together. Make new memories. Maybe even be a friend to someone who needs one. I’m looking forward to spending time with my 96-year-old neighbor who is grieving the recent loss of her only brother. He was her hero, and she especially needs a friend right now.
Prepare your conversation comebacks. You know it’s gonna happen. You’re at the office party and your irritating coworker asks in front of everyone: “Hey, where’s your date?” Or you’re with extended family, your cousin is showing off her new engagement ring, and your in-everyone’s-business aunt looks at you and pipes in with: “Aww, when will it be your turn?” Awkward questions are inevitable, but awkward responses aren’t. Be ready. Your strategy can be to use humor, change the subject, address the question head-on, walk away, or a combination of the above. Once, when asked why I didn’t have a boyfriend, I quipped: “Oh, I do, I just haven’t met him yet.” Another time, a married friend asked, “How’s your love life?” I felt like responding with, “Not great. How’s yours?” (Don’t worry; I didn’t.)
Realize that some people are just awkward, clueless, or self-absorbed. Most mean well. Smile and move on. Change the subject. Get another cup of eggnog. You’ll be OK. If a question-asker genuinely cares about you and your future, ask them to pray for you. Prayer is something we all, married or single, need in any season. Give as much or as little detail as you feel comfortable sharing and thank them for their kindness.
Put your singleness in perspective. I’m not sure when we started believing that singleness is a second-class status. It’s not — at least if Jesus and Paul (two world-class single dudes) had anything to say about it. Being single is hard, but so is being married. When you get married, you’ll trade some hard things for some new hard things. You’ll also trade great things for new great things.
Why are you single? Is it because you have a horrible personality? Give off a desperate vibe? Own 12 cats? Are in a 500-mile radius of only three single men? Maybe. But it could also be because God has decided it’s just not your time. He may be saving you from something terrible and saving you for something amazing. He’s not limited in his resources. He’s not withholding a husband from you in order to give one to someone else. When God wants you married, he’ll get you married. In the meantime, lean into him, love and serve others, and be willing to grow. Admit your desire to be married. Be open to dates with quality guys, even the ones that aren’t your “type.” And if you still can’t seem to get out of the comparison trap, get off social media for the holidays (hey, there’s a gift you can give yourself).
Plan something fun in the new year. A great way to get through a hard season is to have something to look forward to. What’s something you can put on that list? In January, a friend and I are going on a cruise. We’ve had it planned for six months. It’s our way to ditch winter and say, “Hello, 2022! What do you have for us?” You don’t have to plan something big. Do a weekend getaway or even a day-long personal retreat. Put dinner with a friend on the calendar. Book a mani-pedi. Host a game night with your favorite people. Anticipation is sometimes even better than the event itself. Let yourself look ahead at good things to come.
Celebrate Jesus. It’s his birthday, after all. Why are we making it about us? We’ve hijacked it for our own selfish purposes — and doing that always leaves us disappointed. The cool thing is, even though everything in creation is about God and his glory, God still gives us a gift in the midst of it all. He gives us the exact thing we need to save us from our sin and even our very selves — God gives us his Son. Jesus’ death on the cross plus his perfect record in life is a two-part gift that sets us right with God, gives us eternal life with him, and secures us a place in his forever family. God really is the best gift-giver.
I’m not going to give you some lame kind of “Jesus is your boyfriend” pseudo-encouragement. No diamond rings from Jesus this year. No snowball fights followed by hot chocolate. But you’d better believe Jesus wants to spend time with you. You too, married ladies. Because even if your husband is the bees’ knees, he can’t fix your heart. He can’t fill the empty places. He can’t redeem your past. He can’t take away your fears. For that, you need Jesus. Our universal need of a Savior levels the playing field, married or single. Start with the book of John and remind yourself who Jesus is. (Add Luke 2 if you need to keep it really Christmas-y.) Then read Romans 1-8 for a practical picture of what Jesus accomplished on your behalf and who you are now as a result. It’s big stuff. Take your time. You may cry. Finish with singing my favorite Christmas carol: “Hark, the Herald Angels Sing!” If you sing all three verses, it’s a tidy but glorious telling of the gospel. I’ll leave you with verse three:
Hail! the heav’n born Prince of Peace!
Hail! the Son of Righteousness!
Light and life to all he brings,
Risen with healing in his wings
Mild he lays his glory by,
Born that man no more may die:
Born to raise the sons of earth,
Born to give them second birth.
Hark! the herald angels sing,
“Glory to the newborn King!”
Merry Christmas, everyone. But a special shout to the single girls.
Lisa Anderson is the director of young adults at Focus on the Family where she manages Boundless and hosts “The Boundless Show,” a popular weekly podcast and radio show. She’s the author of The Dating Manifesto: A Drama-Free Plan for Pursuing Marriage With Purpose.
by Sarah Young | Dec 9, 2021 | Life Advice, Testimonies, Wisdom
One Christmas, just a few years after my graduation from Wellesley College, I travelled home to Virginia to be with my family for the holidays. My brother, Tim, who had recently returned from studying at L’Abri, a Christian community in the Swiss Alps, was there too.
Tim had been struggling for years to find his way, having dropped out of three universities, even though his grades were excellent. The Tim I encountered that Christmas, however, was remarkably changed. I was amazed to find him to be warm, loving, and much to my surprise, very concerned about my spiritual well-being. He was, simply, a new person.
Tim had become a Christian.
I was not a Christian, and I had given up on my search for truth after majoring in philosophy in college—looking for answers but finding none. Tim gave me a copy of Francis Schaeffer’s Escape from Reason and asked me to read it. I found it so fascinating that I read through it in one sitting! In this small book, I was astonished to find answers to big questions that I’d long ago dismissed as unanswerable. As a result of Tim’s loving concern and Schaeffer’s brilliant book, I decided to reopen my quest for truth.
Eventually, I wrote to L’Abri, where Tim had become a Christian, and asked if I could become a student there. After sending the letter, I got back into my routine and forgot about the request. Then, much to my surprise, I received a letter from L’Abri notifying me that I had been accepted to study there for three months. I wasn’t so sure that this was a good idea. I had to decide if I really wanted to leave my job and my familiar lifestyle in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Instinctively, I knew that if I left, I would never return to my current way of life.
It was a struggle, but eventually I made the life-changing decision to go to L’Abri. I was hoping that my studies there would help me find a solid foundation to build my life on. The stakes were high: I was searching for absolute, unchanging truth!
When I arrived in Switzerland a few months later, Tim and his newlywed Swiss wife were living in Lausanne. I stayed with them for a few days while I recovered from jetlag. Then, on a gloriously snowy Sunday morning, they drove me to nearby Huemoz, a lovely Alpine village where the main branch of L’Abri is located. That night, while trying to sleep on a mattress in the middle of the floor of an overcrowded bedroom, I began to question my decision to leave everything behind. Thankfully, I was soon sent to French L’Abri in Thollon, a tiny village in the French Alps. There were only about fifteen students at this branch, and I was grateful to have my own bed—even though it was the creaky top bunk of an ancient metal bed.
I spent my mornings at a desk in the audiocassette library, listening to tapes of Schaeffer and other brilliant Christian teachers. Increasingly, I became convinced that Christianity was real and true. I was also helped by my conversations with a gifted Christian counselor. I remember my first meeting with her quite clearly. I went into the room where she was waiting, and she told me to close the door. Before I even had time to sit down, she asked me: “Are you a Christian?”
“I’m not sure,” I answered.
I told her I wanted to be a Christian and I was convinced Christianity was true, but I didn’t really understand why I needed Jesus. At the time, I thought that knowing God might be enough. Then, she asked me a question that cut through to the heart of the matter.
“What can you not forgive yourself for?”
Suddenly, I was brought face-to-face with my sinfulness; immediately I understood my need for Jesus—to save me from my many sins.
It was nighttime, and after I left this meeting, I went walking alone in the dark. I needed time to ponder what had happened and to absorb the life-saving truth of the gospel. For a few days, I went through a tumultuous time—engaged in a spiritual battle. Eventually, however, I broke free from the powers of darkness that were trying to keep me captive. I was able to ask Jesus to forgive all my sins; I trusted Him as my Savior.
One night, shortly after my conversion, I decided to go walking alone in the pristine snowy mountains. I went into a deeply wooded area, awed by the cold, moonlit beauty. The air was crisp and dry, piercing to inhale. After a while, I came into an open area, and stopped walking. Time seemed to stand still as I gazed around me in wonder. Suddenly I became aware of a loving Presence with me, and I found myself whispering, “Sweet Jesus.” This experience of Jesus’ Presence was far more personal than just finding answers to my intellectual search for truth.
The moment I trusted God as my Savior, He forgave all my sins – past, present, and future. This glorious gift of grace, however, not only ensured that my ultimate destination is heaven, it also enabled me to have a relationship with the Creator of the universe!
On that first Christmas, so long ago, God gave us the gift of Himself. The first people to hear the good news of God’s great gift were a group of lowly peasants, shepherds who were watching over their sheep. Suddenly, an angel appeared before them with a proclamation that would change the world forever.
“’Do not be afraid;’” the angel said, ‘for see- I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people: to you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign for you: you will find a child wrapped in bands of cloth and lying in a manger'” (Luke 2:10-12.)
As I ponder the angel’s wondrous proclamation to the shepherds, I rejoice in my beloved Savior.
Jesus was, and remains, the greatest gift of all.
Sarah Young’s devotional writings are personal reflections from her daily quiet time of Bible reading, praying, and writing in prayer journals. With sales of more than 35 million books worldwide, Jesus Calling has appeared on all major bestseller lists. Sarah’s writings include Jesus Calling®, Jesus Listens, Jesus Today®, Jesus Always, Jesus Lives™, Dear Jesus, Jesus Calling® for Little Ones, Jesus Calling® Bible Storybook, Jesus Calling®: 365 Devotions for Kids, and Peace in His Presence – each encouraging readers in their journey toward intimacy with Christ. Sarah and her husband were missionaries in Japan and Australia for many years. They currently live in the United States.
Sarah Young has penned a brand-new daily devotional, Jesus Listens: Daily Devotional Prayers of Peace, Joy, and Hope. This is Sarah’s first title in the Jesus Calling® family of books to feature prayers written from a reader’s perspective. With an emphasis on praying God’s Word, Jesus Listens offers a scripture-focused prayer for each day of the year.
GIVEAWAY! We are giving away 10 copies of Sarah’s new devotional inside LO sister, YAY! Head on over to the LO sister app for all the details on a chance to win a copy of Jesus Listens! Happy Thursday, friend 🙂
by Valerie Woerner | Dec 7, 2021 | Life Advice, Wisdom
As I’ve talked to others about prayer on my blog over the years, I’ve spent a lot of time making it more palatable. I’ve tried to emphasize how it can fit into our busy lives. I’ve talked about prayer on the go. I’ve comforted the busy mom with toddlers who has trouble spending more than two consecutive minutes talking to God.
That’s not to say two minutes of prayer is a waste. It just means we shouldn’t come with faulty expectations and then, when they’re not met, use them as the excuse to quit that we were looking for.
If we were sitting together, I’d look in your eyes and express to you how important it is that you keep praying and do not give up. I know you know that, but so much in our world wants to keep us from persevering in prayer. We need the reminders.
We can experience lives that are full of God’s presence, responses, and miracles. We can be part of his Kingdom work and be the ones who constantly point people to him. But we need to put in the time.
We’re always going to have a valid reason not to pray, but an intimate prayer life will remain a mirage until we admit the changes we need to make as we pursue Jesus.
I want to be the person who doesn’t “grow weary of doing good” (Galatians 6:9). Who prays “at all times” and who “keep[s] alert with all perseverance” (Ephesians 6:18). Who has such a sweet rhythm of prayer that calluses develop.
Through prayer, we can be involved in Kingdom work that we’d never be able to do in person. We might have no expertise at building schools, but we can pray for those who are expanding education in remote places. We might have no experience changing laws or healing diseases, but through prayer, we can be actively involved in work God is doing to bring justice and show mercy through medicine. The reach we can experience through prayer is incredible.
Take action. Decide right now what you want to change about your prayer life.
- Grab a friend to take the journey with you.
Having a friend who’s chasing after the same goals makes it easier to stay committed. It’s why the fittest people are often surrounded by other fit people. Our habits rub off on one another. Imagine doing life with a few friends who constantly ask what they could lift up in prayer for you—friends who, when the hard conversations or the tears come, react first by praying. We’re going to have hard moments when we want to give up. I’ve had those seasons where praying felt almost impossible, and I coveted the prayers of others over me that I could echo. Do this with someone. Don’t feel awkward asking. You might just be the answered prayer they’ve been waiting for. (The Val Marie Paper community is a great supplementary resource online, but we highly recommend going on this journey with someone in your everyday life.)
- Figure out your heaviest weights.
Throughout this book we’ve looked at weight after weight that can keep us from running free in prayer. As you read through the chapters, which weight resonated the most? Which ones felt the hardest to shake? Share them with your prayer friends, and ask the Lord to help you remove those weights. Then take the practical steps forward that we mentioned in the book.
- Study the prayer life of Jesus.
The Gospels are filled with beautiful examples of Jesus escaping from the world to pray. He threw off the weights that could have easily entangled him, and often he chose quiet moments with God over the spotlight or sleep. Learn from his teaching on prayer too, as we talked about in chapter 2, reading it in context of everything he taught.
- Keep learning.
I love that you’re reading this book right now, and I encourage you to read other books on prayer. If the topic is on our minds, there’s a better chance we’ll remember to do it. More knowledge about prayer will also build your confidence. If you’ve still got lots of questions, talk with a trusted friend or pastor.
- Make prayer visible.
Prayer is always available to us, but it’s also invisible, meaning that we can easily forget about it. This is why goal experts encourage people to make their goals visible. When you can physically be reminded of your goals—perhaps by listing them on a paper taped to your refrigerator or on your desk—you will naturally think of your goals more often. One way to make prayer visible is to write down your prayers in a prayer journal and record your answers. I love our prayer journals at valmariepaper.com, but really, just get something that works for you and will remind you to pray. You could also use an index card with prayers on it as a bookmark, or tape a prayer to your bathroom mirror.
- Remember the benefits of consistent prayer.
The benefits are extravagant. In the breakout box below, I’ve shared several that can remind you in those moments when it feels like you’re just talking to the ceiling. So much is happening behind the scenes that we cannot see! Prayer is so worth it, and this list can keep you encouraged.
- Make an actual commitment.
I love this quote that’s often attributed to Karen Lamb: “A year from now, you will wish you had started today.” Commit today. Write out a prayer, and tell the Lord what you are committing to. Is it a regular practice of fasting? Is it more confession? Is it a specific amount of prayer or a new prayer routine at a certain time each day? Invite God in as you commit to growing in your most important conversation.
What happens next in your prayer story? For too long, I’ve felt like I was destined for the same song but second verse of prayer failure. What changes all that is knowing that the things weighing us down in prayer don’t have to be permanent. And the Lord is ready and willing to help us. Are we ready to throw off every hindrance? When we throw off the weight of the journey and avoid giving up too soon, we experience the fruit of a thriving prayer life.
Adapted from Pray Confidently and Consistently: Finally Let Go of the Things Holding You Back from Your Most Important Conversation by Valerie Woerner. Copyright ©2021. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, a Division of Tyndale House Ministries. All rights reserved.
Valerie Woerner’s mission is to help women live intentional lives that are an outflow of a fruitful, focused prayer life. She is the author of Pray Confidently and Consistently, Grumpy Mom Takes a Holiday, Springboard Prayers and The Finishing School and the owner of Val Marie Paper, where she designs prompted prayer journals and other practical products that eliminate distraction and increase focus in prayer. Valerie lives in Lafayette, Louisiana with her husband, Tyler, and their two daughters. Visit her online shop at valmariepaper.com.
by Bethany Beal | Dec 2, 2021 | Life Advice, Wisdom
I have a confession to make. What I’m about to share with you was once a triple-top-secret, pinky-promise kind of thing. I’d make you promise not to tell anyone, but the cat is out of the bag. You now have my permission to laugh or cringe. You ready? I bought my dream wedding dress when I was twenty-two years old and completely single.
No, I’m not kidding.
So, the year was 2011. Ancient, I know. My sister was engaged to her now-husband, Zack, and we were in full wedding-planning mode.
One day, we were out shopping for the perfect wedding dress for Kristen. We had hit up a few shops with nothing to show for it. Kristen was feeling discouraged. One by one the dresses went on, then off. After a few rounds, Kristen put on the most gorgeous dress I had ever laid eyes on. The top was filled with sparkles and faux diamonds. The bottom was elegant, full, and flowing with a beautiful chiffon fabric. She looked dreamy.
Unfortunately, when Kristen looked in the mirror, she didn’t quite see Cinderella. She thought the dress was lovely, but it wasn’t her. She must have seen my glowing eyes, because she commented on how this dress looked more like me than her. I nodded my head in agreement.
“You should try it on!” Kristen said with a smile.
Now hear me out. When I walked into the store that day with Kristen, I had zero intentions of buying a wedding dress for myself. That was the last thing on my radar. I was completely single. No wedding in sight.
The minute I walked out of that room to show Kristen and our mom the dress, they both erupted in small cheers. “It’s one hundred percent you!” Kristen said, shaking her head and smiling. “It’s like you times a thousand, actually.”
I had to agree with her. It was totally me. It fit perfectly too. Before I could talk any sense into myself, a wave of fear washed over me. What if this dress no longer exists when I get married someday? What if they discontinue it? What if I search for months and months and can’t find anything even close to this?
That fear drove me to make a drastic and totally weird decision. I bought the dress!
The sales clerk was completely confused when we asked her to package up this dress for me. As we walked away from that store, a thrilling sensation washed over me. Maybe my wedding day wouldn’t be too far off after all. Little did I know that my perfect dress would hang in the back of my closet for many, many years to come. That little secret would remain hidden in the shadows of my life while my dreams to get married went unfulfilled.
You can read the entire wedding dress story in my new book, Not Part of the Plan: Trusting God with the Twists and turns of Your Story.
Maybe you’re in a similar situation. You desire marriage, but it just isn’t happening for you. Maybe it’s a disappointment with your career. Maybe it’s losing a loved one too soon. Maybe it’s having to move cross country leaving behind all of your friends. Maybe it’s not getting accepted into your dream university.
Sister, I don’t know exactly what you’re going through but I do know this. We all experience disappointment, unfulfilled longings, and unmet expectations. I’ve been there and I know you’ve been there as well.
So how do we trust God and remain faithful in the midst of disappointment?
There’s a short passage found in Proverbs 3 that has become an anchor in my life. It’s literally been my life verse and rock. It’s what carried me through when my wedding dress would stare at me from the back of my closet. Let’s look at it together:
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. (vv. 5–6)
Let’s dig into each line a little deeper.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart.”
God doesn’t want part of our heart. He doesn’t want the part that’s easiest to give. That’s not what this verse is saying. This verse makes it crystal clear that He wants all of it. He wants the full surrender. Why is it so easy to give all our heart to other things, like guys, work, friends, or a television show, but so hard to totally give it to God? I wish it were the other way around. Don’t you? By trusting in the Lord with all your heart, you’re humbly admitting that God’s ways are better. That God is wiser. That His character is perfectly good and loving (which we know it is). That it would be foolish to rely on our own finite wisdom rather than trust our mighty Creator. Trusting in the Lord with all your heart is an act of humility. It’s acknowledging how great God is and how very small we are in comparison.
“And do not lean on your own understanding.”
That’s the contrasting piece to the verse. We are to trust in the Lord with all our heart and not lean on our own understanding. Why? Because our understanding is incredibly limited. We have a teeny-tiny view of life, of this world, and only mere speculation about the future. God sees and knows everything. He knows where we’ve been and where we’re going. Leaning on your own understanding would be like taking the paintbrush from Leonardo da Vinci and asking him to step aside. Yikes! How foolish and silly would that be? It would be crazy! Insane, in fact. And yet, that’s what we try to do with God. Not leaning on your own understanding is acknowledging that God is the Master Artist and you are not. It’s letting Him paint the portrait of your life.
“In all your ways acknowledge him.”
This means acknowledging God in the little things and the big things. It’s saying, God, I’d really love for this relationship with this guy to work out. He seems so awesome, and I think we’d make an amazing couple. Even though I really want this, I’m opening my hands and surrendering this to You. Please give me wisdom. Please help me to listen. Please bring out anything in our relationship that is not honoring or would not be beneficial to him or to me. Please end this if it’s not Your plan for me. I trust You. I want Your will. Acknowledging Him is wanting what God wants long term, not just what you want in the current moment. It’s being willing to follow God down a different path than you’d imagined for your life if He makes that clear. Acknowledging God is simply living a surrendered life one day at a time.
“And he will make straight your paths.”
This is beautiful. God promises that He will direct your paths if you do the above things He’s listed. He will guide you, and He will do it one step at a time. One moment at a time. One day at a time. If you’re trusting in Him with all your heart, not leaning on your own understanding, and acknowledging Him in all your ways, you better believe that He absolutely will direct your paths. He won’t always direct them where you want Him to direct them. But He will always direct them where He knows is best. Imagine a little toddler who’s starting to walk. Toddlers need a lot of guidance and assistance for every next step. If left to themselves, they would most likely end up hurt or somewhere they really don’t want to be. We are like the toddler. We need God’s guidance for every step of the way. In those moments when you’re struggling and want to go your own way, take a deep breath and remind yourself to trust in Him with all your heart.
It’s Hard to Trust
Girl, I get it. I get how difficult it is to put this whole trust thing into practice. When life is messy, it’s hard to trust. When you thought God was doing one thing, and He closes the door and takes you in a different direction, it’s hard to trust. When something happens that’s totally outside of your control and you can’t fix it, it’s hard to trust. When you desperately want God to intervene for you in a certain way and He doesn’t, it’s hard to trust. When you buy a wedding dress and end up single for the next decade, it’s hard to trust.
You can actually read about my entire journey of learning to trust God in my new book, Not Part of the Plan: Trusting God with the Twists and Turn of Your Story. I think you would be super encouraged as you strive to fully surrender and trust God with your own life story.
I believe that God has a good work for you to do (Eph. 2:10). I believe that He has you here for a good purpose (Gal. 6:9). I’m cheering you on as you strive to trust God and thrive right where He’s planted you. I’m praying that you will choose to be faithful. Choose to obey. Choose to trust Him.
Bethany Beal is head-over-heels in love with her best friend and husband, David, and is the super proud mommy of Davey Jr. She is the cofounder of GirlDefined Ministries (www.girldefined.com) and the author of Not Part of the Plan: Trusting God with the Twists and Turns of Your Story. She is passionate about spreading the truth of biblical womanhood through writing, speaking, and mentoring young women. To her family and close friends, she is simply a tall blonde girl who is obsessed with iced lattes and can’t get enough of her sweet baby Davey Jr.
