by Emma Jenkins | May 5, 2020 | College, Sisterhood |
Note from Team LO: We are SO excited to have our friend, Emma Mae Jenkins on the blog today! Today is such a special day because today Emma’s devotional “All-Caps YOU: A 30-day Adventure Toward Finding Joy in Who God Made You to Be” hits stores! We love supporting our people 🙂
Now enjoy today’s post!
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In the very beginning, the Lord spoke, and when He spoke, there was life and light and beauty and order. When He spoke, there were boundaries in pleasant places. When He spoke, there was freedom. This is the Lord. He created people in His own image, in His image He created people without shame. He walked with Adam and Eve, the first man and woman, in the cool of the day because He made people to be in relationship with Him. He designed us to be in relationship with Him, and He desires a relationship with us. He said this was very good; He was pleased; from His Word came goodness.
One day, the serpent approached Eve and asked the very first question ever asked in the Bible. He asked if God really said what He did. The enemy questioned God’s Word. He questioned the character, the perfection, the word of God in the ear of Eve. She first responded to his lie with confidence, but he responded to her with an answer of deceit to his own question. The serpent told her that God was trying to withhold goodness. Eve was convinced and therefore, she disobeyed God, as did her husband, Adam. Immediately, they felt shame (see Genesis 3). Wow. What the enemy offered to be pleasing was the very thing he used to steal their freedom and intimacy with the Lord . . . and it all started with a questioning of the Word.
Again, when the Lord approached Gideon in Judges 6, He declared that Gideon was a mighty warrior, a hero. Yet Gideon replied with “Pardon me” and began to explain why he couldn’t be who God said he was and couldn’t do what God was calling him to do because of his status and his family history. Isn’t it interesting that the enemy would whisper lies of insecurity and fear in the midst of God speaking courage and provision? The enemy does not want us to hear and believe the Word of the Lord, because when we believe, the Lord begins to do exceedingly and abundantly greater things than what we could ever ask or imagine according to His power at work within us (Ephesians 3:20).
And again, in Matthew 4, Jesus is in the wilderness, and the enemy approaches Him three different times. He approaches Him with questions. He questioned Jesus’ identity. He questioned the Lord’s provision. He questioned the contentment that the Lord gives and how worthy the Lord is of all worship. But Jesus, all three times, responds with God’s Word. Jesus lived in a way that we should follow. Jesus believed the Word, learned the Word, spoke the Word, and lived out the Word.
If we don’t know truth, the lies we are told will appear to be true because we won’t know any better. The Lord has placed on my heart three lies that we as women believe, and the truth that He wants us to know to combat them.
Lie #1: I am my title/relationships/accomplishments/failures.
My dad came into my room one morning and sat with me as he shared something with me I will never forget. He told me to pretend that all of my titles were taken away. He told me to pretend that there were no more book deals, no more speaking opportunities, no more YouTube subscribers, no more Instagram followers, no more boyfriend (now fiancé), no more education, no more (fill in the blank J) . . . and then he proceeded to ask me, “With all of these things taken away, who are you?” I sat and thought, and he told me that I am a daughter of the Lord no matter what title or position I am given. No matter what relationship I am in and no matter what other’s opinions are of me, I belong to the Lord. No matter how many successes or failures I have, I belong to the Lord.
But this is a lie that the enemy will whisper into our ears. He will seek to convince us, just as he has since the very beginning, that our worth and value and identity are discovered in what we do, what people say about us, what relationships we are in, and what positions we have. The moment that these things change though, if we have believed this lie, our worth and value and identity change right along with it. Once we fail, well, now we must be failures. Once people disapprove of us or speak hatefully about us, well, now we must not be loveable or enough. Once relationships end, well, we must not be pretty enough. Once positions change, well, we must not have been important to the team or brought enough to the table or not be as talented as we thought. Whew! It’s exhausting.
I have had someone tell me that I was hideous and someone else tell me that I was beautiful in a matter of seconds—how confusing! What am I supposed to think about myself hearing that? When that’s where my identity is, I am a constant hot mess.
Lie #2: Some chains just don’t unshackle, and this is just who I am.
Another lie that is commonly whispered and believed is that we are our fears, our anxieties, our thought patterns, our addictions, and so on. I raise my hand on this because I do sometimes speak with a defeated tone in my voice because I feel as though there is no getting around worry or thought patterns that leave me exhausted.
We tend to think, “I know that Jesus came and defeated my sin, death, and the grave; I know that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus; I know that Christ came so that I may have abundant life—but this is just different.” It’s almost as if we know that the same power that raised Jesus from the grave lives in us, but we aren’t actually believing it. The enemy wants us to believe that there are certain things beyond the Cross—certain things out of God’s reach—certain things that simply cannot be impacted by the power of the Cross, and it’s simply not true. If the enemy can convince us as women that we are what we struggle with and that the power of the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus is limited, then we will unknowingly walk in a limited version of what God originally intended for us as His daughters.
When you think of who you are, do you automatically think about what you struggle with? Have you believed that this is simply who you are and that nothing can change that? Are you convinced that maybe this was meant to be?
I beg to differ, my love. God does not contradict His Word and what has been written above is pretty opposed to what He actually says about me and you.
Lie #3: My freedom is restricted when I obey God’s Word.
There is a misconception that many people have, which is that “if I am living out God’s Word than I am missing out on fun and freedom.” The enemy has whispered a lie in the ears of women that the Word of God is a list of rules, do’s and don’ts, and if we live by it then we never get to experience true satisfaction and happiness because we are restricted.
Just as the serpent made disobedience to God look pleasing to the eye and good, so does he want us as women to believe that we are missing out on true pleasure by being obedient to God, so therefore, we should go do whatever looks good to our eyes and whatever feels good to us in the moment. He does this by tricking many to be convinced that God’s Word is restricting rather than liberating.
But, as we saw with Adam and Eve, the moment they gratified themselves and went against God’s Word, they were ashamed, and they hid. The enemy knows that God’s Word is our hope that does not put us to shame, so of course he doesn’t want us being obedient to that which deepens our relationship with our Creator! The enemy is deceitful and crafty, but he is doing the same thing he has been doing all along. He attempts to convince us that the world is better than the Word, and every time we take a bite of this lie, we are left unsatisfied. He lies to us by saying that if we’re living out God’s Word, then we’re missing out on true fun and freedom.
Speaking about the truth that God wants us to know, I simply want to share His Word that combats each of these three lies. I encourage you to write down the verses that resonate with the season you are in and put them somewhere that you will see them every day (whether that be on your refrigerator, in your car, or on your mirror). It’s one thing to read an encouraging blog, but it’s another to take this truth beyond this moment and believe it, learn it, speak it, and live it out in your own daily life. This is powerful, ladies. This is life changing and nothing I ever write in a blog to you is more powerful than what the Lord has already spoken to you in His Word.
Truth to combat the lie that you are your title, relationships, positions, accomplishments/failures, or others’ opinions of you: Genesis 1:27; Psalm 23:1; Psalm 139; Ephesians 1:1-14; Ephesians 2:10; Philippians 4:12-13
Truth to combat the lie that some chains just don’t unshackle, and your struggle is just who you are: Isaiah 41:10; Matthew 11:28-30; John 10:10; Galatians 5:1; 1 Peter 5:7
Truth to combat the lie that you are restricted from fun and freedom when obeying God’s Word: Psalm 119; Isaiah 55; Matthew 7; John 8:32; 1 John 5:3
The power of God’s Word is so real. The enemy is the father of lies and therefore, always leaves us questioning the Word (John 8:44). Psalm 29; Psalm 138; Jeremiah 17; Jeremiah 20:9; and Ephesians 6 remind us that we have can have confidence in the Word of God because we have confidence in God. Because we have confidence in God, we have confidence in what He says.
Emma Mae Jenkins is a 21-year-old lover of Jesus and people. The color yellow, smiling, and flowers are some of her favorite things. She is the daughter of Jason and Amanda Jenkins and older sister of her brother, Nolan Jenkins. Emma attends Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia, where she majors in Women’s Christian Leadership. Out of an overflow of God’s love, she travels throughout the country speaking at conferences and retreats to be a messenger of God’s Word. The Lord has blessed Emma with platforms of influence to glorify Him through social media and YouTube. Walking in obedience to these opportunities, she is able to invest in the lives of thousands worldwide.
Follow Emma Mae on Instagram @1corinthians13_love
by Bella Robertson + Kaylea Mayo | Apr 21, 2020 | Life Advice, Sisterhood |
God gives people dreams for His purposes and His people. In December 2019, God gave us a dream to start a gathering of women in our community called cultivate.LA. Cultivate.LA’s motto is, “Gather the girls. Scatter the girls.” God revealed to us the need to unite women from all ages, backgrounds, and denominations in West Monroe, Louisiana. At first we were overwhelmed that God would choose us, a 17 and 23 year old, to do something this big. Cultivate.LA was bigger than us, and we knew that before it even had a name.
For the past five months, we have prayed, planned, and worked nonstop to host our first gathering of women. The gathering was set to happen on March 27th, and with over 450 RSVPs, we were working our tails off with the help of so many amazing women who had joined with us in helping make this God dream come true. We were and still are thrilled to be a part of God’s plans for West Monroe, Louisiana.
Two weeks before our first gathering, we received the call that gatherings over 250 were banned due to the global pandemic. We were at lunch, and as disappointed as we were that our efforts of planning would be stalled, we were not disheartened. We believe wholeheartedly that God’s plan for cultivate.LA will prevail despite any setbacks. That’s the thing when you put things in God’s hands, nothings going to stop the will of God for His people and His purpose. Paul said it best when he said, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (Romans 8:28) God saw the days of quarantine and sickness coming even when He gave us the initial dream. We had peace in the storm because cultivate.LA was never in our hands. When you place your dreams in God’s hands, you can dream and plan through life’s unknowns.
Cultivate.LA was God’s dream first, and we are only the stewards of that dream. We are so honored that God chose us to lead and foster community for the women of our area. What a fun thing to get to do, host, learn from, dream alongside, and love on other women! Some days our work is not always what we want to do. We don’t always want to sit through meetings about the logistics of event planning or explain to women the importance of doing something that’s never been done, but it is a calling from God so we’re going to run with it. We don’t want to miss out on something God wants to do, so the second we had the dream of cultivate.LA we decided right then and there that from that day it was our mission to serve the women of our area.
Something we’ve had to learn in our short time of making this dream a reality is that our gifts, talents, and callings are never for ourselves. The dreams God gives us are always for others. God gave us the dream to start cultivate.LA for the women of Louisiana. It was never about us, and it will never be about us. We have said it before and we will say it again, God’s dreams are for His purposes and His people.
Godly community has changed both of our lives, and through the community of cultivate.LA, the lives of the women in our community will be changed as well. We desperately want this for these women. We have seen the power of community firsthand, and we are blown away that we get to do this for our area. We are committed to living out God’s dream for others. Our motivation is just like His, His purposes and His people, always.
Bella Robertson and Kaylea Mayo are the founders of cultivate.LA, whose mission is to unite the women of Louisiana with the love of Jesus. Bella and Kaylea saw a need for a united women’s ministry in their community, and felt called to meet it. Their motto is “Gather the girls, scatter the girls.” Once a season, they gather the girls together and empower them to scatter back into their individual lives to make a difference in our community.
Find out more at cultivate.online and follow them on Instagram @cultivatela.online
by Sadie Robertson Huff | Mar 25, 2020 | Life Advice, Sisterhood |
I talk a lot about haters, and even give a lot of advice to people dealing with haters in their lives. Everything that I have written and said I truly stand by. Those things have helped me through a lot of negativity, bullies and haters in my lifetime, but I think there is a vulnerability that I haven’t reached yet in sharing about how I actually feel when haters comment on my social media. I’ve experience my fair share and truly understand how bad it feel, so I thought I’d share.
If you’ve been following me for a while and read any of the comments, I am sure you have seen it. You can pretty much pick any post and if I haven’t already deleted or blocked the hate, then it’s there, so here goes…this is going to be the most honest thing I have ever written about the reality of how it feels when people are hateful towards me, maybe you can relate.
First off, I think that referring to people as haters can sometimes try to mask the actual pain that comes with the truly hateful words real humans choose to say to other real humans who have real feelings and real lives. Giving people the title of a “hater” almost just sounds too fun. If someone is, “just a hater” maybe it’s somehow easier to not take what they say seriously. Maybe it is, that is until you are on the other end of the hate for who you are, what you look like, or what you are doing. Hateful things hurt, not matter what you call it.
If I am being really honest there have been many times when I delete my social media and never want to post another video, picture, message, or do anything again in the public eye because of some of the haters out there and the negative comments I have received. I realize those are the dramatic moments when feelings are escalated, when I’ve just read one too many, but I want to share this because that is what hate can do to you. It can make you want to just give up.
Also, there are times I feel like it would be easier to just pose in a bikini and smile with the perfect sunlight with some caption about wanting a donut, then to actually post something that matters to me and that I believe could truly make a difference in the world. At least posting something that didn’t really represent who I really am might help shield my heart from the sting of the words that target me after I post something that actually matters to me.
The truth is, though, no matter what you do or however you choose to live your life you will experience hate at some point. I have gotten blasted about my appearance – some people think I am too skinny, others hate my hair blonde, I have had a whole page dedicated to zooming in on a pimple. I have been blasted for my shorts being too short and then made fun of for being modest. I have been criticized for talking too fast, too country, for losing my accent. I have literally had hateful comments for helping orphans in other counties by building schools and safe houses and going to visit them from people who think because I do that I’m not helping people in my own country… I mean hate is everywhere with anything and it can make you not want to go anywhere or do anything.
I was young when my social media became really big. I was 17 when I hit 1 million followers. It was pretty much overnight and then hundreds of thousands more over the years put me now at over 5 million through my platforms. I’m grateful for that and believe there is a purpose in all of that, but before the crazy thing is before I knew who I was, or who I wanted to be it felt like everyone else was commenting on who they thought I was or thought I should be. I remember feeling so overwhelmed.
It is an interesting thing to navigate through when it seems like everyone knows who I am but me.
I did not know what God was doing by calling me. Why would he call a girl who was scared she didn’t even know who she was, felt like a hypochondriac, was struggling through some relationship problems, and would find myself crying in the bathroom from a bully at school? Reading even what I am now writing I see it was the perfect timing to call a 17 year old girl who would have to completely and utterly depend on the God of the Universe Himself to carry her through the journey I was just beginning to say yes to. As time went on I began to find confidence in who He was, and what He was calling me to and I started to think much less about who I was and more about who He is. I started to realize that my life wasn’t about getting the praise of man, but was about bringing glory to the one who made me.
That right there, that moment when I started to think about myself less and Him more was the turning point for me, and that is probably my greatest piece of advice I could give you to walk out the calling on your life and survive the hatefulness of the world. More of him, less of you.
The next thing that changed everything for me, when I am struggling with the haters is to remember that the God I serve actually really loves the haters. Those people who blast me online, he loves them, and he is asking me to love them too. There is no greater example of someone loving their enemies than Jesus. That is humbling to the core. It is not only humbling, but it is extremely challenging. First that would mean that I can not let the hateful words that people say about me make grow hate in my heart for them, and secondly and sometimes this is even more challenging, I can’t let the hate they throw at me make me hate myself. How am I to love others if I don’t realize the love God has for me and I can’t love myself?
These are the revelations I have to return to every day to be able to continue to post, preach, do videos, write, record podcasts and otherwise fulfill my purpose.
I could just quit it all and go live my life with my husband, my family and close friends out of the public eye, but I want to live a life of purpose and I believe that a true purpose is never selfish and is very rarely easy. I pray that the things I post are never just to boost my ego, or get a lot of likes, because I know that will not truly satisfy my own real desire and the desire that we all as humans have, to live a life of meaning and love.
You have heard me say it before and I will say it again – you will not experience the true depth of love just by being liked or just by liking others who like you back. You will experience the depth of love when you feel known and are loved anyway, and when you love others not because of what they do for you, but because God loved them first. If you do not allow your true self to be known to the people around you no matter how many likes, comments, or compliments that you get on social media – you will not feel satisfied in your truest desire to love and be loved, and you will crumble in the face of hate. But if the way you live your life online and off is out of a place of already knowing you are loved by the God who created you before a single like or comment, you will be able to stand up under whatever hate you might experience and remain true to your original self God made you to be and the calling He has placed on your life.
It is a lot easier to take a hateful comment about yourself, when you are living for something bigger than yourself.
- Does the hate still bother me? Yes, it does bother me.
- Does the hate still hurt? Sometimes.
- Do I ever cry, because of the hateful things people say? Yes, sometimes I do but mainly it’s not so much out of hurt but out of frustration.
- Will I stop doing what I am doing because of the hate? Never. Simply because what I am doing is not about me.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
-Theodore Roosevelt
One final disclaimer: My team at LO and I do delete and block people from my pages that say hateful comments and here’s why: I truly desire for my social media to be a place people come to be encouraged and enlightened. The hateful comments seem to just breed more negativity and arguments back and I try to keep my page from being about that. The bible talks about guarding our heart because it is the wellspring of our life. This is a way to guard our hearts and the hearts of those following me from mean-spiritedness, so that’s why we do it and will continue to. We all need to realize the power we have to guard our hearts in our own lives. When someone is being hateful to us in person, we can and should walk away. I call it “getting out of the car,” that might be a story for another day, ha! But we also have the power on our social media to control who speaks into our lives and the block and delete button is one way to do that.
Want more encouragement from Live Original? Follow us on Instagram @legitsadierob and @liveoriginal.
by Live Original | Mar 23, 2020 | Life Advice, Sisterhood |
We don’t need to say it, we all know these are interesting days. In a time where we are being asked to distance ourselves and stay home, we are all learning how to still find community. As we try to connect during these days, we thought we’d send a few encouraging ways you can use the virtual world for the good & stay connected.
GATHER
Hebrews 10:25 – Do not neglect meeting together, as is the habit of some, but encourage one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
This week, Louie Giglio posted a graphic which said, “The Church has left the building”. We couldn’t have stated it better. Parking lots will be empty this week, youth groups won’t be meeting for a while and we do not know when the doors will open again. However, we do know that we are still called to gather. Can we encourage you to tune into your churches’ services if they are doing online gatherings? It might feel awkward to sing in your house alone or with a few family members – but how special is it to know that individuals across your city are doing the same? You are not alone! How comforting to know that The Body is still alive and active, even with the doors closed at your church? It’s a privilege to be a part of The Church during this time in history and I hope that when we do gather together again in our church buildings, we will be stronger than ever because of what has happened in our own homes.
If your home church doesn’t have an online service, here are a few we recommend:
Christ Church, Passion City Church, Church of the City Franklin, Cross Point Church
CELEBRATE
Romans 12:15 – Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
Amidst the mass amount of hardship that is happening, we still have people around us celebrating birthdays, births, anniversaries etc. Just as much as we want to be there for those struggling, we also need to practice the discipline of celebration during this time.
This week was a dear friends birthday. We got creative and celebrated her via a “Virtual Birthday Party”. We all gathered over a Zoom video chat in our PJ’s. We shared original birthday poems to make her laugh and encourage her. We sipped our coffee together and sent her virtual gifts— like e-books and online gift cards.
We still have much to celebrate during these days. It might take some creativity, but hey, we will all remember, “that year when we had those “unique” celebrations”.
ENCOURAGE
Hebrews 3:13 – But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. (ESV)
Do you know anyone who could use some encouragement? Um, probably most of us! How cool would it be if we went on “Encouragement Rants”? Let me explain— set your timer on your phone for 10 minutes and scroll your address book on your phone. Focus your mind on others. Take some time to send a few texts to those who you know might need a positive word in this time. Perhaps it’s someone who you know who lives alone, an older person who hasn’t left their home in weeks, someone who is sick, or someone you just haven’t talked to in a while. I think we would all be surprised with how much encouragement we can spread in just 10 minutes.
STUDY
Psalm 1:3 Blessed is the one.. whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law, day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither—whatever they do prospers.
We never thought we would be so pumped to tune into an Instagram live – however, we have been following along with a friend who is doing an 8AM CST Instagram Live (shout out to Alex Seeley). Each morning she does little devotional and it has been the most wonderful way to start the day, with connection to other believers. This is a great time to dive into the Word of God alone during your own quiet times but it could also be a great time to study the word together. Host a morning devotional once a week on IG Live, start a group text thread with your small group and discuss a topic or question, or check out our LO Fam online community which has a variety of workshops and studies to dive into online.
SUPPORT
James 5:16b… pray for one another, that you may be healed.
Here’s a unique idea! Have you overcome a struggle in a specific area that you might be able to support another person in during this time? Many people find comfort in gathering together in small groups to encourage one another in specific areas, but are not able to gather in person right now. Is there way that you might be able to host a small group online during this time of isolation? Perhaps you could lead a 30-minute prayer time together online or be an accountability partner to someone you know who might need it during this season. Perhaps you’ve wrestled with anxiety, an eating disorder, grief, or another life controlling issue and could be support to those who need it now in their own recovery. Perhaps you are a mom at home who just needs the support of other moms who can share parenting ideas and tips.
If you are looking for a way to host a private gathering /small group online, we recommend checking out a convenient, free video conferencing website like Zoom.
HAVE FUN. BE KIND!
Proverbs 17:22- A cheerful heart is good medicine
Random Acts of Kindness! Perhaps, if you’re able, anonymously send someone some flowers, a book, some donuts!
Hidden Talent Challenge— can you juggle, tap dance, balance books on your head? Do you have unique ideas on how to pass time, funny cat videos, silly videos of your quarantined family? Send them out!
We all could use a good laugh these days. Sometimes the virtual world can be a dark place, so let’s shine a little light in it during this time and have some fun!
Want more encouragement from Live Original? Follow us on Instagram @legitsadierob and @liveoriginal.
by Nancy Alcorn | Mar 19, 2020 | Sisterhood, Testimonies
Note from Sadie: I am so excited to invite Nancy Alcorn, Founder of Mercy Multiplied, to share about the impact that their free residential program is having on women who are struggling with suicide, depression, sexual abuse, eating disorders, anxiety and more. God is using this ministry in incredible ways and I feel so honored to support them.
*THIS WEEK ONLY* we are partnering with Mercy to donate 500 ‘LIVE’ books to the women that walk through the doors at Mercy. My team and I have already donated and we would love for you to join us. Will you consider being a part of changing a women’s life today?
Click the image below to donate a book now and enjoy today’s post 🙂
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You were created for more.
I want you to understand this because suicide has become an epidemic in our society. Too many people are believing the lies that no one cares about them or that their life is no longer worth living. Chances are, many of you reading this blog know someone who chose to end their life. Maybe you have considered taking your own life. I am here to tell you there is hope and that God created you on purpose for His purpose and He has a great plan for your life!
When people who have been hurt hear that God has a plan for their lives, they often say, “If God’s plan looks like what I’ve experienced, I don’t want anything to do with Him.” I want to be clear with you, though: There are two plans for your life. God has a plan for you, and the enemy has a plan for you. And they couldn’t be more opposed to one another.
As the Founder and President of Mercy Multiplied, a free Christian residential program for young women ages 13-32, I have seen thousands of young women walk through our doors feeling hopeless and worthless.
These young women tried for years to “fix” themselves by changing their behaviors. Behavior modification does not bring healing and freedom and transformation from the inside out. Only Jesus can do that! We have to get to the root of our issues if we really want to live free and stay free! But you have to take the brave first step and ask for help. Jesus did not die for you and me so we could live in bondage. He died so we could walk in freedom and thrive!
Breanne is a 2013 Mercy graduate who was in Bible college when she made the choice to get help. She had struggled for many, many years before making that decision. But because she reached out for help, she is now living a full life.
I grew up in a Christian home with great parents and three younger brothers. I was a pretty carefree, happy-go-lucky kid and loved making people laugh. However, when I was 12 years old, my parents moved us to a new community for my dad’s new job. It was hard for me to make friends. I was hit so hard with depression and anxiety to the point where I could barely leave my parents’ side in public, even at church. My friendships became smaller and smaller and I started isolating myself and turning more inward.
As the depression set in, I started having dark thoughts like, ‘I am untouchable and unlovable. Would it even matter if I wasn’t around? Would anyone notice if I were gone?’ These thoughts escalated to, ‘You need to be punished for the way you are. You’re a horrible kid. You have a good family, you know God, and everything has been provided for you, so why are you struggling like this?’
I started believing these lies and started thinking about myself as ‘worthless’ and ‘garbage.’ I was physically unhealthy, friendless, and falling hopelessly behind in schoolwork. I decided I needed to be punished, so I began to self-harm.
When I was 15, we had new youth pastors join our church. They reached out to me and made me feel welcome in the youth group. I started to enjoy church again for the first time in years. But the darkness and loneliness at home increased, and I began considering suicide more seriously.
I graduated from high school and looked for a fresh start in Bible college. I knew if I could leave town, I would leave my issues behind and everything would be fine. I could finally move forward. For a while, it worked. I started gaining confidence and making friends, but I felt like a fraud because I didn’t feel like I had a relationship with the Lord. Isolation returned my sophomore year and I became depressed again.
I felt worthless and would compare myself to everyone. I thought to myself, ‘Nothing’s different. I still feel left out, hopeless. I brought all my problems here with me.’ The worse I felt, the more I refused to go out with my friends. I began to self-harm again and this time I ended up in the hospital twice during the fall semester of my junior year. I almost couldn’t bear the thought of my peers at school finding out. ‘You’re at a Bible college!’ I told myself. ‘You’re a Christian. You’re not supposed to struggle with suicide. What do you have to be depressed about?’
A peer at school told me about Mercy and I remember looking at her and saying, ‘that is a place for girls who are dying, that is not for me.’ And she looked at me and said, “Breanne, you are dying.” She had such seriousness on her face that it really hit me that I needed to get help.
I remember driving up the driveway at Mercy with my friend who came with me. I looked at her and said, ‘please don’t make me go in.’ I knew I needed to be there, but it was still so hard, especially making the decision to leave college.
When Breanne came to Mercy in 2013, God started bringing light to the darkness and showing her the lies that she was believing. He started replacing those lies with the truth that she was worthy of love, that her life was worth living. She was able to work through the pain of her past and allow God to bring a deep level of healing into her life. As she allowed herself to actually feel pain, the door opened for her to start feeling all emotions again – including joy and peace. As Breanne was able to truly feel again and no longer believed that she was “garbage” and needed to be punished, she wasn’t compelled to self-harm anymore. When her roots were exposed and uprooted, the life-controlling behavior no longer had a place to grow.
Another important part of Breanne’s journey was in learning how to forgive herself for her past choices. The enemy, who is also known as the accuser, had heaped so much shame and condemnation on her. Some of us may be able to accept and believe the fact that God has forgiven us, but like Breanne, we have a hard time forgiving ourselves. We may feel as if we are more in control and even experience a sense of safety by remaining angry with ourselves, but that control is deceptive. We must learn to fully receive God’s grace but also to extend that grace to ourselves.
When Breanne started to understand the truth of God’s good heart towards her and His good plans for her life, she was able to trust Him again. She learned that God is perfect in love and had only done good to her. It was never His desire for her to be hurt and rejected.
Breanne’s life was not only completely transformed, but she graduated from Mercy, she went back to Bible college, took summer classes and was able to graduate with her class. Today, Breanne works for a child and adolescent psychiatric residential treatment facility. Children ages 6 to 18 spend several months to a year on the locked and secure campus, each struggling with some kind of disruptive or life-controlling behavior. Breanne conducts individual, group, and family therapy sessions and gets to live life six days a week with the residents. The problems they bring — suicidal thoughts, self-harm, aggressive behavior — are not for the faint of heart, she says, but Mercy so impacted her with its example of effective residential care that Breanne wants to multiply the result from her own life into the lives of many others. She is living the full life God created her to live!
I want you to know that, through the power of Christ, you can overcome whatever issues or hurts you may be struggling with. You do not have to live your life under a list of labels or diagnoses. You do not have to stay in bondage to all of the things you have experienced, in fact, those are the very things that God will restore and use to be part of your testimony of freedom. Don’t waste another minute of your life living in bondage, thinking this is the way life is always going to be. There is no such thing as a life that cannot be transformed when someone allows God to work in their heart and life. He loves you and created you to do so much more than just survive, He created you to thrive!
You can watch Breanne’s testimony here.
If you are struggling or know someone who may need help, please visit www.MercyMultiplied.com for more information and resources.
Nancy Alcorn is the Founder & President of Mercy Multiplied, a Christian non-profit that offers free residential counseling for young women ages 13-32 and Outreach services that equip people to live free in Jesus Christ.
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by Gracie Tucker | Dec 25, 2019 | Sisterhood
Merry Christmas y’all & happy almost new year! One thing I love about this specific time of the year is the hope that seems to come with a new year. Yes, there is only a one day difference in 2019 and 2020, but on this specific 31st to 1st calendar change, something changes in us. A hope bubbles up that makes us believe that this year could be the year. The year we learn spanish, or the year we finally start going to the gym, you name it, we all have those certain things we hope we’ll do in the new year… my prayer for 2020 is that we would be a generation that starts to believe God again!
My prayer is that this Christmas and 2020 would be a year marked by faith and expectancy. That we would have a fresh remembrance of the faithfulness of God!
Today we celebrate the birth of Jesus. John 1:14 says, “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth”, wow, would we never get numb to this! Jesus, his birth, his life, his death, and his resurrection, all the kindness, love, grace, mercy, and glory of God. The life of Jesus is the ultimate proof that God is good and the ultimate proof that He is faithful.
You see, God was faithful in Isaiah 7:14 when it was said, “Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel,” and God was faithful 700 years later in Matthew 1:25, “but he knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus.” Faithful in the past, faithful in the present, faithful in the future.
It’s so easy to get anxious and worried in the world we live in, it’s no secret that the devil is on a tear, but it’s also no secret that the devil is defeated. He is a liar and he hates your guts, to think he doesn’t would be a deception… but do not fret, because the virgin bore a son and His name is Immanuel! God is with us!
So whatever the lies may be, today let’s believe God instead! Take Him at his word starting today and heading into 2020. Even if you’re not sure you really believe it yet, run to the word of God, and let the Holy Spirit, God with us, move on your behalf. When darkness whispers fear run to Psalm 32:7, “You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance.”
When the lie is God is holding out on you, remember Psalm 27:13, “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord,” and Psalm 16:11, “You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”
What about when it feels like God left? Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit,” Psalm 46:3, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.”
The word of God is the truth, it is our sword, and it is perfect… these are not empty words! Promise keeper, means promise keeper. He is who he says he is. Take heart, the same God who has always been faithful, still remains faithful to this day… He is with us. We can believe God again.
Gracie Tucker is the owner of Gracie’s Milkshake Bar in Nashville, TN! She loves spending time outdoors, traveling, hanging out with her friends and family, and is also known to make a mean milkshake.
Follow Gracie on Instagram @hannahgracetucker
And check out all the fun at the milkshake bar @graciesmilkshakebar
