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Choices

Choices

I’ve gone around and around about whether or not to post about the abortion debate going on in our country. I know how personal and emotional this issue is, and the internet can be a rough place to have hard conversations.

I have enormous compassion for women who have chosen abortions and know that had to have been a tough decision at an extremely difficult and uncertain time in your life. I hope you know how much you are loved by a God who sees you and was with you even then.

I have friends who think differently than I do about this issue, I love and respect them and am seeing their posts and hearing their passion on the other side than I am, so I decided it’s time I throw my thoughts into the arena.

I realize that me writing this could be risky. I won’t say it all right. People will disagree. I’ll likely write something that even my friends or followers on the pro-life side disagree with, too. That’s okay. It’s too important of a conversation to ignore or to just stay silent so here we go:

One of the things that deeply disturbs me right off the bat is the term “pro-choice”. I actually think it was a brilliant marketing decision. It implies that if you aren’t for abortion or “for choice”, then you are against women having the right to choose what happens to their bodies. And that is such a false narrative that I can’t help but speak out.

I 100% support a woman’s right to choose what happens to her body. I’m also incredibly thankful that there are a multitude of choices that are available to women in our day and age before and besides the choice to end the life inside her womb.

There are many choices in the form of birth control from condoms to spermicides, rings, gels, caps, diaphragms, the pill, shots and implants that can prevent pregnancy for anywhere from 3 months to 5 years, and IUD’s that work for up to 12 years. These are all readily available to women in the United States. You can walk into any drugstore and purchase many of these items without a prescription. If you don’t have the money to buy them, Medicaid, government programs and insurance covers the cost of the prescription. You can go to most Planned Parenthood’s around the country and they will help you get any of this for free.

I’m not letting men off the hook here. A man should always consider the consequences of his action to have unprotected sex. Condoms should always be the choice for protection from pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Men should be equally responsible. Women you have the right and the power to demand a condom when having sex.

I also believe in the woman’s right over her own body to choose whether or not to have sex in the first place. I understand that there are circumstances of rape and incest that sadly take away this choice. The men who perpetrate those acts are the ones who don’t allow a woman to choose, not those on the side of pro-life.

Another choice is adoption. You will never hear me use the term, “she gave him up for adoption”. I say and hope we revise our wording to use the phrase “she chose adoption for him” because I believe that words do matter and adoption is a beautiful and heroic CHOICE that a woman can make for the baby she is carrying!

There are literally millions of parents on waiting lists to adopt babies in our country. Sources say right now in the US there are as many as 36 waiting families for every 1 baby placed for adoption Yes, there are children in our foster care system that need to be adopted and we need to do more for those children, as well. I’m a huge advocate for adoption through foster care.

There is also, of course, always the choice when an unplanned pregnancy happens to parent the baby. I know this is a major life change and a huge responsibility to take on a time in a woman’s life when she may not expect it or think she is able. However, the most unexpected things that happen in our lives are often the greatest gifts. I don’t know a single woman who after choosing to parent the child that came into her life even in the hardest of times would say I wish I’d made the choice to abort. I know many who say that their child was never in their plan but that life was in God’s plan and has been their greatest blessing. As heroic as birth mothers who choose adoption are, so are mothers who choose to parent when that wasn’t in their plan.

There is also this narrative that I’m seeing that people who are pro-life are only for keeping babies alive in the womb and then after they are born they don’t care. For the vast majority, I just don’t find that to be true. There are countless pregnancy centers in every state supporting women throughout their pregnancy and beyond with classes, diaper and formula needs, financial support and even day care for the first few years of life. And if adoption is the choice the mother makes, there are numerous organizations facilitating and funding adoptions.

I’m not saying there isn’t more that needs to be done. There always is! But I am saying that the belief that people who are against abortion don’t care about moms and babies after they are born is simply false. Are we doing enough? Im not claiming that we are, we can always do more. But do people who are pro-life care about life after birth? And are there people who love women and children who are working tirelessly to help support them? Absolutely!

In the end, I don’t believe the killing of babies in the womb should be legal in this country, and I don’t believe this is a woman’s rights issue. I believe it is a moral issue regarding the right to life. As I wrote the phrase “the killing of babies in the womb” I realize that is hard to read and almost deleted it and tried to soften it a bit, but I honestly don’t know another way to say what is happening in abortion. With ultrasounds and scientific advances coming this far, we know so much about life inside the womb. Yes these babies, or to use the scientific name fetuses, are dependent on a mother for life, but so are babies (scientific names: neonates, infants) outside the womb, dependent on another human to survive. I just can’t come to the conclusion that the right to end the life of another human being should ever be a right we afford in this country or any other.

I hope and pray you read these words and receive them with the love that I feel in writing them. And again if you have made the choice for abortion know that God loves you. He did then, and He does now. Life is precious, yours and mine, and so are the lives of these babies.

The Gift of Celebration

The Gift of Celebration

“Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water”; so they filled them to the brim. Then he told them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.”

They did so, and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside and said, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.”

What Jesus did here in Cana of Galilee was the first of the signs through which he revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him.” John 2:7-11

I love weddings! Each of the weddings in our family have had their own special touches, some big, others small, some at our home, others at a distant location, but my favorite thing about weddings ands the one thing they have all had in common is that there is nothing sweeter or more special than having all of your favorite people in the world come together in one place, under one tent, to celebrate, honor and bear witness to the marriage of one of your children. It is truly one of the most sacred, and also most fun moments of life!

The morning after Sadie and Christian’s wedding I woke up and thought how fun would it be to somehow give that gift to someone else. I know weddings while being joy-filled occasions can also be stressful, overwhelming and let’s face it…expensive! So I decide then that we would “give away” a wedding to someone that needed it. I didn’t know what that would look like, just determined that we would, and then 2020 came, our world went into a global pandemic and all of a sudden there were thousands and thousands of brides who had dreamed and planned, prayed and saved and put deposits down for weddings that would have to be canceled. I could only imagine how devastating that would be! Sadie and the LO team immediately began dreaming about how they could help this group of “Covid brides” feel a little less alone, and I along with my awesome assistant, fellow dreamer, and ultimate party planner, Lindsay, immediately started planning how we could gift a wedding to a special bride!

I loved getting the opportunity to help Elizabeth and Adam celebrate their love story in such a special way, even if it looked different than they had originally imagined. I think we can all agree that 2020 has been far from normal, but to be a part of the beginning of a couple’s life together, and to help them to celebrate when every thing seemed lost and turned upside down was a complete joy. I hope this inspires you to find ways to celebrate, even in the midst of whatever setbacks or disappointments life brings. Two becoming one is always something to celebrate! Enjoy Elizabeth’s Story…

P.S. Don’t you love that the very first miracle that Jesus performed was at a wedding! Isn’t it so beautiful to see that the savior of the universe listened to his mother and turned water to wine so that a wedding celebration could continue? Our God is always about the business of bringing beauty out of the ashes!

From Elizabeth:

Let’s talk about wedding planning. It’s a subject that every bride from past, present, and future knows all too well. It’s a little crazy, stressful, and can even be dramatic at the worst of times. Now let’s make it interesting by throwing a little bit of 2020 into the mix and see what concoction we can come up with. Here’s my story of how my wedding went from being something I always dreamed about to a complete nightmare and then circled all the way back to being the most magical, perfect day a bride could hope for. It’s a bit of a journey so bear with me.

I met my husband, Adam, back in 2016. We started dating about 6 months after meeting and got engaged Christmas 2018. I could not believe how perfect the proposal was! He even picked out the ring himself and let me tell y’all – he didn’t just do good. He did great! We immediately began wedding planning by picking out the date – April 4, 2020. We knew we’d need some time to save up and we were about to move to Texas, so we gave ourselves plenty of breathing room.

We moved and got our lives started in the Lone Star State with a new job for me and a job transfer for Adam. As an event planner for the past 7 years, I was in familiar territory or at least I thought I was. We had everything finalized and then the world turned upside down.

I was sitting in a conference room at work in March when my boss made the announcement that we were cancelling our annual conference due to the pandemic and the thought suddenly occurred to me that I needed to start looking at a contingency plan for the wedding.

I’m not going to lie and tell you that I kept it together. I cried for maybe a week on and off about the wedding. I was a mess and full of panic. Adam and I had to make a decision and we had to make it quickly since our wedding was less than a month away.

We decided to postpone the reception indefinitely and have a small intimate ceremony with 10 people at my Dad’s house in Shreveport, LA. We would try to get back as much as we could from vendors we no longer needed and keep the ones we did need. We had a plan, and it was all going to work out! Except it didn’t – my Dad, stepmom, and little sister were all exposed to someone with Covid-19 and their 2-week quarantine wouldn’t be up until April 5. Did I mention we learned all of this after getting back home from getting out marriage license in Louisiana?

And then the tears were there again. We put things on hold for a while until I could work up the courage to make another plan. My amazing florist, Brianna Belton, was seriously a godsend. She was the one person who helped keep me sane and didn’t make me feel crazy as I asked her question after question about what her other brides were doing and what dates she had available.

From there, we set on a new date and venue – October 3, 2020 in Bossier City, LA at Brianna’s own workshop. We decided to keep things small with 70 people and go for it. Honestly, I was sick of wedding planning at this point. It was supposed to be the greatest experience and it just wasn’t anymore. But then something I can only describe as a miracle happened.

Brianna called and said she had a vendor reach out to her who had a previous client that was wanting to do something nice for a bride and groom affected by the pandemic. Brianna asked if she could give them my contact information for them to reach out to me and I said yes.

About a week went by when I received a Facetime call from Korie Robertson. I was in complete shock. Korie offered for Adam and I to get married at their family farm in Calhoun, LA at no charge. It immediately felt like such a blessing that we really needed and a sign from God that this was really going to work itself out for the better.

We kept wedding planning and the blessings kept pouring in. Glass Chapel Videography who was looking to get back in the game after moving back to the area and wanted to be a part of our wedding at no cost to us. Bash Booth (and the original vendor contact) offered their services free of charge. A Element Event Rentals based out of New Orleans who wanted to be a part of this by giving us rentals to use. Not to mention the Robertson’s who not only let us use their property, but also paid for the food for the wedding, gave us their tent to use, and opened up their home to us the day of to get ready.

We are forever grateful to the Robertson’s for this amazing opportunity and for making us fall back in love with our wedding. They gave us the best day we could have ever dreamed of.

I am extremely honored to have been chosen for this and to have worked alongside the many amazing vendors who made this day possible. Your kindness will be something I never forget as long as I live. In more ways than you can imagine – thank you.

Venue – Willie and Korie’s Farm, Korie Robertson @bosshogswife

Florals, Styling, & Catering – Brianna Belton Designs @briannabeltondesign

Photobooth: Sarah Jeffords @bashbooth

Photography – Kayla Hall Photography @kaylahallphotography

Videography – Glass Chapel Motion @glasschapelmotion

Hair & Makeup – Grace Coyer Trahan

DJ – HollyTrees Weddings & Events @hollytreesweddingsandevents

Cake – Uptown Down @udruston

Dress – A & Be Bridal Shop Dallas @aandbe_bridalshop

Explore Elements: @exploreelements

Love and Politics

Love and Politics

There’s an old Frank Sinatra song that goes like this,

“Love and marriage

Love and marriage

They go together like a horse and carriage

This I tell you, brother

You can’t have one without the other.”

The horse and carriage analogy is a little dated, but you get the idea. Of course, love and marriage go together, but love and politics? You might be thinking that’s a bit of a stretch.

I write a lot about love on here. You can probably go back and check every blog that I’ve ever written and it somehow ends up about love. While, I do love a good love story, I’m not really that girl that reads romance novels or watches lifetime movies.  I can’t stop talking about love though, because God is love. We were made in His image.  Humans will do anything for love and God proved to us that He will too! God sent his son to earth to die on the cross, because of love His love for us (1 John 4:7-11).

So when we are talking about anything, absolutely anything, even politics, there is nothing that doesn’t go together (like a horse and carriage, of course) with love.

In John 13:35 Jesus said to his disciples, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples if you have love for one another.”

In case you might be thinking, this is talking about us loving one another, like the one another’s who think like I do, like those others who believe the same things I do. Well then, read what Jesus says here:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.”  Matthew 5:43-45

And here:

“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” Luke 6:32-36

In today’s extremely divided political climate we are quick to see the other party as the enemy.  All the more reason to show love to those on the other side. This is the radical way of Jesus.

 

So how do we live this practically when we’re talking politics –

-Read 1 Corinthians 13 for clear directions on what love looks like in real time:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

-Before you post online, check to see if it meets the above criteria

-Before you speak to someone who thinks differently than you check to make sure what you are about to say meets the above criteria

There is a lot at stake here. What’s at stake is whether or not the world will recognize us as Jesus’ disciples. Will they know us by our love?

“Too often, when push comes, shove follows. Too often, when the culture opposes us, we feel like equal opposition is the only answer. But the second greatest commandment reminds us that we are to love our neighbors as ourselves. And the parable of the Good Samaritan reminds us that our neighbor is any person we come into contact with—including those who insult and threaten us. By divine decree, everyone is our neighbor. No exceptions. And we win our neighbors through the same love that won us.” – Cap Stewart

______

Korie Robertson is a New York Times bestselling author and speaker who is passionate about motherhood. Korie (K-Swaggy) is a mom to Sadie — and five other amazing kids. In her free time, you’ll find her playing tennis, drinking coffee and spending time with her kids and grand babies.

Follow Korie on Instagram @bosshogswife

The Essentials Blog

The Essentials Blog

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” 1 Cor. 13:13

This is going to sound weird, but every time I look at my bare fingernails during this strange time of social distancing and self-quarantine, it makes me think of another word we are hearing a lot these days…“essential.”  Then, I start thinking about what is really essential in life. Clearly gel manicures are not, but sometimes things like bare nails make you have deep thoughts.

It’s in the difficult times, the times we have suffered or experienced disappointment and loss, that what is really important comes more sharply into focus.

As I’ve traveled around the world to many developing countries I’m always keenly aware that most of us Americans don’t have to think of the essentials very often. I remember asking a friend in Uganda about where to find toothpaste and he replied, “Toothpaste is a luxury most Ugandans could never afford.”

Once in Somalia in an IDP camp I asked a family their favorite food. They looked at me a little confused by my question and answered “rice and beans.” I realized, rice and beans is all they have, and most likely all they have ever eaten. They don’t have variety in their food choices. They eat what they have and that’s rice and beans therefore, it’s their favorite meal.

Wants or likes or desires are not even considered in many countries around the world; it’s only need. How blessed are we! We say we “need” a new pair of tennis shoes when our old shoes still fit and do the job just fine, or we “need” a latte when we all know oat milk honey lattes are not actually essential to life.

The reality is that in America we haven’t had to think about the word “essential” much, until now.  There have been a few times in my life when I’ve become more aware of needs and wants and the difference between the two, nothing in comparison to what many in the world face, but small reminders of this truth.

Willie and I were just eighteen and nineteen years old when we said “I do.” We headed off to college the next day.  Literally. We got married on a Saturday and started school on Monday. It was fine with us; we were just excited to be married and start our life together in our very own teeny tiny apartment walking distance from campus (because we only had one car). The apartment was so small that when we took a shower the steam from the shower would set off the smoke alarm that was in the kitchen just a couple of steps from the bathroom. To solve that problem we took the batteries out of the smoke detector. Probably not the safest solution, but hey, we were just teenagers! We were on a very tight budget.  I remember one of our big fights was when we actually had about $3 left in our “grocery envelope” (thank you Dave Ramsey) and I wanted to buy a magazine with the extra money, but Willie wanted to buy a pack of baseball cards; he was a collector. I can’t remember who won that argument, but I remember wanting the luxury of buying something that wasn’t exactly essential.

Another time in our life that I was more aware of the essentials was after we had four kids, and we had just taken over running Duck Commander. The company was struggling financially. One of our big accounts had pulled out, and we weren’t sure how we were going to make it. Willie and I didn’t want to let anybody go, most of the people who worked for Duck Commander at the time were family so we couldn’t just fire them, and the few that weren’t family were people that we loved and were important to keeping the company going. The only real choice we felt we had was to personally hold our paychecks until we got the company back off the ground.

Thankfully we had saved a little money for a rainy day (again, thank you Dave Ramsey) so we knew we could do that for a few months if we just cut back to “the essentials.”  We called the cable company and cancelled our cable, dropped our health club membership, no more buying clothes or the random thing at the check out counter, no mani’s or pedi’s or going out to eat, we cut back on all of the “extras” and made a pact to only buy what we needed so that our money would last us for a while, and we could still feed our family. We held our checks that whole Summer  until hunting season came back around in November and people start buying duck calls again. Then we had enough in the Duck Commander account to pay ourselves.

During this pandemic, we’re all thinking about the essentials. The toilet paper aisle is still empty at the grocery store we shop at. Toilet paper feels like an essential, right? But people around the world even live without that. So far we haven’t had to do that in our home, but I can tell you I’m more aware of how much I use every single time I go to the bathroom. I want to make it last! I really haven’t missed getting my nails done, or shopping at the mall, but I have missed hugging my grandmother, having my grand babies spend the night, visiting with co-workers, having lunch with friends. I’ve missed the things deep down we all know are the really important things in life.

I love 1 Corinthians 13. It’s the chapter all about love. Paul says if I have anything or everything in life, but I don’t have love,  “I gain nothing” and “I am nothing.” Vs 2, 3. Those are big statements, but so true. We all know or have heard of people that seem to have everything materially that we think we all want in life: money, clothes, house, travel…but they are miserable, lonely, unhappy, mean-spirited. It’s because of this truth, when we strip it all away we realize our greatest need is love after all. Love is essential.

The good news is no matter how lonely you feel right now, no matter how many people have hurt you or rejected you, no matter the things you have gone through that have harmed you or that you feel ashamed of, YOU ARE LOVED. Loved by God your Father, the Creator of the universe, the One who made you and me and every single thing ever created. He loves you so much that He brought you to life and wants to be with you forever and ever.

An extension of that good news is that we were made in God’s image so that means you were not only made by love, because of love, but you also have love to give. It all comes down to love. 1 Cor. 13, the love chapter, ends with these words, “and now these three remain, faith, hope and love, and the greatest of these is love.”

This is what’s essential.

Korie Robertson is a New York Times bestselling author and speaker who is passionate about motherhood. Korie (K-Swaggy) is a mom to Sadie — and five other amazing kids. In her free time, you’ll find her playing tennis, drinking coffee and spending time with her kids and grand babies.

Follow Korie on Instagram @bosshogswife

All In This Together

All In This Together

Leading your Family with Faith Over Fear

“Most young kids will remember how their family home felt during the coronavirus panic more than anything specific about the virus.”

I saw this quote the other day and can’t find who to attribute it to, but have been thinking about it ever since. I don’t think it applies just to young kids, though. The truth is, parents, our children of all ages are watching and will learn more from how we act and react in difficult circumstances than from the things we say and do when everything is going good in life. For better or worse, your kids will follow your lead. I pray we lead with faith over fear.

A few thoughts on how to do that:

Focus on the here and now…This is one of those moments when we don’t really know what’s to come. I’ve found myself spending time and energy speculating on what this is going to do to our world, how it will change us…I know it’s going to have some consequences that will be with us for a while. But here’s the thing, worrying will not change a single outcome so let’s not give in to it! Do what you need to do to take care of yourself and those around you, today, here and now and tomorrow simply do that again. Take some time to read Jesus’s words in Matthew 6. He ends with this advice, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Now, more than ever, is the perfect time to practice this principle.

Keep the important things the same…Our kids have always said that the most important thing we did as a family when the Duck Dynasty phenomenon happened and life was crazy all around us is that they saw us stay the same. Our kids need to know that if everything else is changing or even seems to be crumbling around us, mom and dad are stable and our home is a safe place. Not that you’re going to be perfect, but that you’re going to be there! Our children thrive when they feel secure. We can do that by creating some consistency in our homes during this time; eat dinner together around the table each night, set a designated time to read a book together or have a devotional.  My parents always told me and we’ve always told our kids that if we lose everything, we will still be the same, because the root of who we are is so much deeper than what we have or don’t have. The important things can never be taken away from us. Our kids need to know this and see it in how we act and react when the world feels uncertain.

Connect them to something greater than themselves or their problems… It’s hard to worry about yourself when you are doing something for someone else. Cook a meal and leave it on a neighbor’s doorstep, write an old fashioned letter, send someone flowers, FaceTime friends across the country or across the street. Talk to your kids and explain that the reason we are staying home is for the good of those who are at risk and that by all working together we can defeat this thing. And most importantly, connect them to God. He’s got this. He’s greater than any disease or problem this world can throw at us. Focus on this verse below from James 1:17. Read it together and talk about what it means to them and then spend some time in prayer and cast all your worries on the God who never changes.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”

 And last but not least have fun…Coronavirus quarantine can’t stop that! Play family games, dance in your kitchen, learn a song on the piano, a new skill on YouTube, sing, paint, draw, create, pop some popcorn and watch a funny movie, pitch a tent in the living room. Make a bucket list of things you can do in and around your home, write it on poster board and hang it where everyone can see. I know that many are experiencing some really hard times, and life is not all fun and games, but I also know that fun and games can make the hard times a little bit better. Don’t let these trials steal your joy! “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-5,17

We’re all in this together! Stay healthy friends, body, mind and spirit!

Korie Robertson is a New York Times bestselling author and speaker who is passionate about motherhood. Korie (K-Swaggy) is a mom to Sadie — and five other amazing kids. In her free time, you’ll find her playing tennis, drinking coffee and spending time with her kids and grand babies.

Follow Korie on Instagram @bosshogswife