Brooke Skipworth - Live Original

Am I Wondering or Wandering?

by Brooke Skipworth | Sep 23, 2025 | Featured, Life Advice, LO Library

I was journaling recently about being stuck in what can only be described as a strange season. I call this season my “season of in-between.” It is the season of not quite where I want to be, but also not quite where I once was. It’s the overly present season that seems to dwell in a suspended slow swing between the past and the future.

I penned the following words that came to my spirit at that moment:

“Am I wondering or wandering in the in-between?”

Does the one letter difference in spelling make that big of a difference in how we face the hard seasons? Yes, that one vowel change makes all the difference in the world.

Wonder and wander are homophones. Homophones are words that sound the same but are spelled differently and have different meanings.

If you are only hearing the two words aloud, they sound the same. But if you read the words, or pay attention to the context surrounding the two words, you come to find that they are so different.

Wonder- to feel curiosity or amazement, to think about something with interest and awe.

Wander- to roam aimlessly, to move around without a clear purpose or direction.

As I contemplated the difference of wondering versus wandering, and how they relate to the in-between season of life; God began to bring the Old Testament stories of the Israelites back to my remembrance.

The Israelites were delivered from bondage and slavery in Egypt, but they were not yet in the Promised Land. They were no longer slaves, but they were not yet Canaanite landowners. They were delivered from their biggest enemies, but they were not yet free from all enemy territory. They were in an in-between season. Although the in-between season should have only lasted them 20-40 days (it is a 300 miles walk from Egypt to the land of Canaan), the 40 days ended up taking 40 years and ensuring that the first generation passed away before the next generation could move into their next season and inherit the land.

Why? Because the Israelites wandered instead of wondered during the in-between.

“One who wanders from the way of good sense will rest in the assembly of the dead.”

Proverbs 21:16 (ESV)

“The Lord’s anger burned against Israel and he made them wander in the wilderness forty years, until the whole generation of those who had done evil in his sight was gone.”

Numbers 32:13

The Lord’s anger was kindled long before He made their wandering a lifelong season. He was angry because His people didn’t wonder. They were supernaturally delivered out of Egypt and supernaturally kept alive in the wilderness, but the Israelites never seemed to experience the wonder of what God did for them; instead, they wandered away from the goodness of God.

They wandered across the Red Sea, after doubting that God could part it. They wandered through the desert, not fully trusting the direction of God. They wandered to gather extra food, even when God told them to only gather their daily needs. They wandered to other idols while their leader was getting instructions from God. They wandered away from the Promised Land because the obstacles seemed too great. They let their minds wander to all the ways they’ve been disappointed along the journey, although the challenges they faced were due to their own sins. They allowed their hearts to wander back to Egypt, because they romanticized the past. They wandered off the journey God specified for them, and it cost them everything.

They wandered across the desert aimlessly and without clear direction, and they died in the in-between season–having never obtained the fulfillment of all God had in store for them.

Isn’t that like so many of us? We think we are filled with faith. We think we trust God. But then we get to the in-between season of not where we once were yet not where we want to be, and we begin to wander off course.

We don’t have the patience or the endurance for what God is trying to do in and through us, so we wander aimlessly, without direction, because we are too impatient and too mistrusting to wait for God to provide the next step. We try to take matters into our own hands. We turn to our own idols. We romanticize the place God intentionally rescued us from. We go back to the relationship that He once gave us the strength to end. We delete the words we once felt called to write. We overthink in past reservations rather than walking forward in faith.

Ultimately, we get stuck–never making it out of the in-between season–due to our wandering off the journey God has for us.

What if instead of wandering, we begin to wonder in the in-between?

As a woman who has found herself stuck in an in-between season for a couple of years now, I can tell you with assurance that WONDERING in the season is so much better than WANDERING in the season. So how does one wonder while she waits?

Wonder at the current goodness of God.
1. “Everyone was gripped with great wonder and awe, and they praised God, exclaiming, “We have seen amazing things today!” Luke 5:26 (NLT)
2. God is good, even when our current circumstances are not. His goodness is not defined by our circumstances.
3. Sometimes it takes some digging, but remind yourself of how good God has been in your life! He has done amazing things to get you to this place! You are still alive today! You have a roof over your head! You know where your next meal is coming from! You have friends, and/or family, and/or children, who love you! You have a calling and a purpose gifted to you by God! God is working now on your behalf! Your best days are coming! Be in awe of Him!

Wonder at where you came from.
1. “But they and our fathers acted presumptuously and stiffened their neck and did not obey your commandments. They refused to obey and were not mindful of the wonders that you performed among them, but they stiffened their neck and appointed a leader to return to their slavery in Egypt. But you are a God ready to forgive, gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and did not forsake them.” (ESV)
2. The Israelites were not wondering at the goodness of God, and they craved to go back to their slavery in Egypt. They romanticized the past instead of acknowledging what the Lord was doing in their present. But God, even though he had every reason to, never forsook them.
3. When you forget to wonder at the mighty hand of God at work in your life, you also forget how the days you’re currently living in are answered prayers to the past days.

Wonder at where you are heading.
1. “The whole earth is filled with awe at your wonders; where morning dawns, where evening fades, you call forth songs of joy.” Psalm 65:8 (NIV)
2. The Lord brings joy, in both the dawning of a new season and in the ending of an old one. He is where the joy is!
3. As you are waiting for God to give next steps–Praise Him. Dream with Him. Wonder with Him. Wonder at Him. He is using this time to build your trust, your faith, your endurance, and your character so that you are prepared to walk into the beautiful next season He has in store for you.

We wander when we put the focus on ourselves. We start following every voice, every bread crumb trail, hoping to find fulfillment elsewhere instead of waiting for the Lord to lead us on the next step of our wilderness journey into our next season. We are like sheep without a shepherd when we wander.

“My sheep were scattered; they wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill. My sheep were scattered over all the face of the earth, with none to search or seek for them.” Ezekiel 34:6

But wonder? Wonder puts the focus back on God. When you wonder, you contemplate the following: Who is God? Where has He brought you from? Where is He taking you? What does He have in store for you? Who will you connect with along the way? What plans does He desire for you to accomplish? What dream is He restoring in your heart? What wonders are God working in your life?

“You are the God who works wonders;

You have made known your might among the peoples.” Psalm 77:14 (ESV)

In your in-between season when you can’t go back to your past, but you can’t yet move into your future; I encourage you to contemplate what your own answer is to the following question:

“Am I wondering or wandering in the in-between?”

Is God Good?

by Brooke Skipworth | Apr 15, 2025 | Featured, Life Advice, LO Library

Who is God? What is the character of God? Wow. The questions that have ran through my mind as I tried to figure out what I should share about His character have overwhelmed me. How do I write in a few short words something that cannot be contained within the pages of the Bible? How do I explain the great mystery of God when I don’t even have a firm grasp on understanding it?

A few nights ago I opened my laptop to try to write on this topic, but quickly closed it again, unsure of how to write a blog entry on the character of God to a world of readers when I don’t fully understand Him myself. I couldn’t sleep that night, so I read through some of my journal entries over the past couple of years, just seeing if I wrote something that I could potentially turn into a blog post. There was no epiphany for a post; instead, I found a theme within my journals that I didn’t even realize I’d been clinging to and wrestling with in the past couple of years during the hardest times in my life. That theme was the goodness of God.

Now, please don’t shut me out if you are going through a hard season in life, and think I am going to use the next few paragraphs to write about how good He is and how easy life is due to His goodness. I am not; because it is not true, and I do not think it appropriately reflects the little I know of God’s character.

On New Year’s Day of 2023, I journaled that my phrase to focus on for the year was “God’s goodness.” Seven months into the year, I felt like God was anything but good.

At the time, we were pastoring a successful church plant, starting to have financial breakthrough with investments and opportunities, and were finally putting roots down and feeling settled in our community. I was comfortable in my role as a pastor’s wife and my position on staff for the first time, and the kids were thriving in school and friendships. We were near all of our family and friends. Life should have been so good. But it was not. In the summer of 2023, some things started coming out about some very big struggles my husband was having–and the trajectory of our lives spiraled out of control very quickly. The enemy knew how to strike hard, and he did.

When my husband left at that time and started living an unrecognizable life, I got so angry. A Good God wouldn’t allow this to happen. Not to me, and not to the kids. It didn’t make sense that a good God would allow so much confusion and pain and brokenness to happen in our family, in our lives, in the lives of our community, and in the lives of the church. Before long, I could not go in a public place without everyone in the space knowing what battles we were facing. I was angry that our lives were the topic of every dinner conversation in our town. I was angry at John for making such poor decisions. I was angry that my kids overheard unsolicited advice and hurtful gossip. I was angry that the Church’s name was being dragged through the mud. I was angry that God was being mocked. I was angry that the enemy was winning.

I was so hurt and so angry for several months, but at the end of 2023 going into 2024 I was also starting to feel a softening in my heart towards God and towards John. Hope was rising. I was fasting and praying and crying out to God. I read over and over in my Bible about how God is a miracle-working God who redeems and restores, so I was praying for miracles and redemption and restoration–whatever that looked like at that time. I was working through forgiveness and bitterness, and focusing my prayers on God to reach John’s heart. I had renewed my faith, and I truly believed I would see the Lord’s goodness in our lives. So New Year’s Day of 2024, I wrote Psalms 27:13 in my journal as the verse I’d focus on for the year. It says, “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.”

When I got the call that John had passed away just 3 short weeks after declaring that verse over our lives, I got more angry. A Good God let the story end this way? I had worked through my anger and bitterness in the long months during the time between my husband’s leaving and his passing. I had finally relinquished it, and my husband, to God. My heart had softened in the few weeks before John passed, and I was praying so hard for God to miraculously move. At this point of the spiral I didn’t know what redemption and restoration would look like, but I believed God could do something miraculous that I couldn’t even imagine. I was declaring life and living! Death wasn’t part of the plan, and when I got the final call that John was dead, it left me completely broken.

On one hand, I was broken for my family, for our kids, and for everyone who was believing for God to do a miracle. There was no longer hope for change. Death is final. With death brought closure, which also included a closed door to all hope.

On the other hand, I was even more broken because I no longer understood God. The God that I loved and served had disappointed me. He had broken my heart. He didn’t answer my prayers, nor my kids’ prayers, nor anyone else’s prayers. God’s character became completely foreign to me. And I felt more alone than I ever had in my life. Not only did I lose my spouse and my kids lost their dad in this tragic season, but I also lost the one sense of comfort I had–I lost trust in a good God. How could I trust Him? How could I believe in the goodness of God when all I felt was brokenness?

But, just because I was broken in my pursuit of Him did not break His pursuit of me. The Bible says in Psalm 34:18 that “the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Although I was upset with Him, I also clung to Him. It is a contradiction of emotions that I cannot adequately explain. I was so hurt by Him, yet He felt so close to me.

I have so many stories of His tangible goodness showing up right when we needed it…

A few big bills came in, and a check arrived in the mail that covered the total amount.

The kids were upset because I had to cancel a trip to Breckenridge that John and I had booked the year prior, and then God led a family to send us on a free trip to Colorado without ever knowing the backstory.

Although church was hard to attend, it became our safe place and God provided some healing moments in the places that once hurt us the most.

I was in need of an income, and doors opened for temporary positions to hold me over while remaining on a schedule that worked for my kids until I figured out our next steps.

I spent many nights crying because my youngest child covered his ears when we’d pray at night. One day, an elderly lady whom I’ve never met called me and prayed with me specifically for my children to fall in love with the things of God. That same night, Foster asked me to pray with him for the first time in months.

Friends would give a word of encouragement in the moment I needed to hear something good.

I would get messages of prayers and prophetic dreams that were so on point that only God could have orchestrated them.

God was showing Himself so faithful in the small details of my life. During this time I reconciled a bit with God, acknowledging that He was close and He was saving me. I trusted Him again, knowing that I was not alone and believing that He was faithful. I just no longer believed He was good.

As life continued into September 2024, which was a little over a year into this “new normal,” I found myself broken again. I had just put the kids in bed, and I was walking through my home to lock up and clean up as I do every night before I go to bed. And I found myself crying, not out of anger or struggle, but just tears of brokenness because I found myself overwhelmed for the first time in a long time by the goodness of God. The kids and I had a great day together that day. There have been less and less days of sadness, and more and more joy-filled moments. We were in a beautiful house, making a new home here, and God had gone before us to bring such sweet friendships and opportunities our way. For the first time in over a year, I acknowledged again that God may indeed be good.

In the natural realm, sometimes God doesn’t seem good. Things happen that are painful and traumatic and downright hard in this life. In fact, He seems harsh and cruel because He didn’t prevent the hard from happening. He seems out of touch with His people and the world He created when tragedy, loss, and traumatic experiences happen. Why would a good God allow bad things to happen? Some believe it’s a test of faith, a consequence of free will, or a means to achieve spiritual growth, while others see it as a mystery beyond human comprehension.

In the spiritual realm, God is so good. God’s goodness is bigger than our finite minds can comprehend, and He will show His goodness in ways we cannot expect. Whatever the reason for the hard things we face in our lives, I now know without a doubt that we will not go through the hard times without a good God by our side. He will show His goodness to us if we allow Him to do so.

Almost two years into this journey now, I am back to declaring the goodness of God in the land of the living. Life is for living, and living well. God’s goodness in my life has overwhelmed me time and time again. God’s character is incomprehensible, and there are some things about Him and His ways that I will not understand this side of Heaven.

Even though I don’t understand and don’t have the answers, I can also look back in retrospect and see where He was good all along. He was with me all along. He was and is turning every hard thing into something that will help make Him famous on this earth. He is currently giving me so much joy and hope-filled expectation for an incredible future where He will redeem and restore a double-portion of what was taken from our family.

If you are going through a hard season, or have gone through a hard season in the past, or live life enough to go through a hard season in the future, I encourage you to cling to a good God in your hard thing. Allow Him space to work in your life on your behalf, even when you don’t feel Him working. Just because He doesn’t feel good; it doesn’t mean that He isn’t good. In fact, the more you wrestle with seeking His goodness, the more you will find it. God’s character is inherently GOOD.

“Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him.” -Psalm 34:8

God, I know that there are others reading this who wrestle in their belief and faith in You. They want to believe, but they also struggle to understand the vastness and mystery of your character. I pray that you open their eyes to see that You are in all the details of our lives, and You are working all things for our good and towards an intended purpose. I pray that you bring people into their lives that point them towards your goodness and your character, and that they discover more of your heart for them as they search you out. God, open their eyes and show yourself faithful in every area of their lives, and be with them in every hard thing. Thank you for your goodness. In Jesus’ name, amen.

God Didn’t Choose Her

by Brooke Skipworth | Jan 16, 2025 | 3, Featured, Hope, Joy, Life Advice, LO Library

I want to dream big, but every time I begin to dream, I also begin to think of other women that are more qualified to fulfill that dream.

At that point I start the downward spiral of thinking: “she has a stronger social media presence.” “She has the financial backing.” “She has an incredible marriage and support system.” “She is a great speaker.” “She is younger.” “She doesn’t have kids.” “She doesn’t have as many responsibilities that take up her time.” She is so much prettier.”

Before long, I am questioning every dream I’ve ever had, doubting my ability to even keep up with being average, and convincing myself that God chose her to fulfill that dream. He wouldn’t, couldn’t, and shouldn’t choose Brooke.

Recently, I was having a rough night and thinking every negative thought. I had disqualified myself in my own head, and qualified a myriad of other females I either know or follow who God needs to use instead of me. I began to tear up in the midst of my self-pity party, and the Lord quietly whispered to me: “I didn’t choose HER. I chose YOU.” Those few words make all the difference.

I bet that you, much like myself, have a “her” in your life who you admire and who you believe is more qualified. She is more beautiful. She has her life together. She is the one who earned the promotion. She is talented. She should receive that honor. She deserves the good guy. She is worthy of love. Even though all that may be true for her; it’s true for you too.

Sister, God didn’t choose her. God chose you.

As we start this year off flourishing, I want you to also focus on flourishing in the dreams that God has given you. He wants you to flourish in the dreams He’s given you! He wants to engage in conversation with you. He wants you to dare to ask Him to fulfill those dreams. He wants you so close to Him.

“You didn’t choose me. I [Jesus] chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name.” John‬ ‭15‬:‭16‬ ‭NLT‬‬

He chose you for this specific calling, not her. He appointed you for such a time as this, not her. And when you ask Him, He will help you fulfill every God-dream.

Whoever “her” is in your life has her own dream and purpose, but it isn’t yours. God chose YOU for this dream and purpose. Take ownership in that. It’s your turn to flourish. Dream big with God this year!

Brooke Skipworth is a lover of Jesus, family, and her 3 kids. She was a pastor’s wife and a Marriage & Family Therapist prior to her life changing in 2023 when she was betrayed, broken, then widowed in a few short months. During that time God was so close to her and her children, and she now desires for everyone she meets to intimately know the same God that carried her through the darkest valleys of her life. Now, Brooke is discovering a new passion for life and for the calling God has for her. When she isn’t writing in her journal, she loves to spend time with her kids, drink iced chai lattes, run long miles, and read so many books!