Last night we had to talk to our kids about having the right perspective after listening to them grumble and complain over a serve opportunity. It is advent season, yet they all get so caught up in the gifts and the fun activities that they tend to forget the real reason we celebrate this season. Our family chat reminded them that serving others and loving others is a mission to fulfill–not just during the holidays but during our everyday life. Yet, how many of us, like the kids last night, also struggle to keep the right perspective? 

For many, Christmas can be a difficult season. Long to-do lists and the pressure to make everything special for others can feel overwhelming. There are countless events to attend, gifts to purchase, and meals to prepare. At the same time, the season can quietly magnify loss; for it serves as a painful reminder for those who have lost loved ones or are carrying the weight of broken relationships.

Though Christmas is meant to be a blessing, it can sometimes feel like a burden. That’s why it takes intentional, mindful practice to keep our focus on the blessings God offers rather than the burdens the season can bring.

There is a central figure in the Christmas story who I believe also wrestled with focusing on the blessing rather than the burden. My heart is always drawn to Mary. Yes, Mary—the mother of Jesus. Mary, the heralded saint. Mary, the one whose image fills countless homes and cathedrals.

But also Mary, the teenage virgin. Mary, the seemingly unfaithful fiancée. Mary, the one others probably labeled a liar. Mary, the overlooked. Mary, the mother without provision. Mary, the one forced to flee. Mary, the blamed.

In Luke 1, Mary, a young virgin girl, is visited by the angel Gabriel and told she will give birth to a son named Jesus, the very Son of God.

Can you imagine the thoughts that must have flooded her mind at that moment? God had been silent for centuries. I picture her standing in awe and terror as an angel appears before her: stunned that God was speaking again, and overwhelmed that He had chosen her to carry out His divine plan. Fear surely mingled with wonder as she considered how drastically her life would change, and anxiety followed as she wondered how she could possibly explain this to her family and her fiancé.

In that moment, I imagine this extraordinary blessing must have felt incredibly burdensome. After all, who would believe that a virgin would give birth to the Son of God?

In Matthew 1, Mary tells her future husband that she is pregnant. She explains that she is still a virgin and has remained faithful to their engagement. Joseph does not believe her, and in an effort to spare her public humiliation, he resolves to quietly end the engagement.

Then Gabriel appears to Joseph in a dream, confirming Mary’s story. Yet even after receiving clarity from God, I can imagine there were still difficult conversations filled with lingering confusion, hurt, and perhaps even anger as they navigated what obedience would cost them.

In Luke 2, Mary is required to travel with Joseph to his ancestral hometown for a government census. She gives birth far from home, in a stable, because there is no room available. 

Can you imagine being heavily pregnant and forced to travel simply so you could be counted and taxed? Mary would have been uncomfortable, likely walking or riding a donkey. She would have been frustrated by the timing being so close to her due date. They arrive in Bethlehem only for her labor to begin in a town with no available lodging. There is no wealth to secure a place, no opportunity to prepare, no nesting. The King of the world is born among animal filth.

When Jesus is born, He is not visited by the powerful or the religious elite. Instead, He is visited by poor, working-class shepherds and by wise men who followed a star.

Soon after, Joseph is warned in a dream to flee to Egypt. Of all places—Egypt. The land of captivity. The place where God’s people were once enslaved. A foreign land where they know no one.

While they flee, King Herod orders the murder of all young boys in and around Bethlehem. These are children Mary and Jesus may have known. Boys whose mothers likely shared stories of first steps and first words. Can you imagine the grief of those women? Can you hear the whispers?
“What did Mary know?”
“How did her child escape while ours died?”
“Are they somehow to blame?”

Mary hears prophetic words spoken over Jesus, yet these words are both holy and heavy. Being told that your son will suffer and die for the sake of others would pierce the heart of any mother.

At one point, Jesus goes missing for three days. Yes, He is the Messiah; but He is also her child, and Mary is frantic with worry.

Later on in scripture, Jesus returns to His hometown only to be rejected and asked to leave. I can only imagine how deeply that wounded Mary.

And then there is the cross. Jesus—perfect, blameless—is crucified as a criminal. The agony of watching your firstborn die such a brutal death is beyond comprehension.

Blessings or burdens?

I can only imagine Mary, in her humanity, wrestling with the sovereignty of God at times. I can envision her crying out, “God, You promised blessing, yet my life has been filled with burdens.”

Have you ever felt that way?

Mary did not understand all what God was doing while she was living it. Many of the moments that must have felt like unbearable burdens were, in fact, God’s greatest blessings still unfolding.

Jesus later reminds us of this truth when He says:

“You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”
John 13:7

Just as Mary had to fix her mind on the truth of God’s word, we also have to acknowledge that what feels like a burden today may one day be revealed as a blessing in God’s perfect plan. 

We want the blessing of maturity, but we have to go through the burdens that mature us. We want the blessing of God’s favor, yet inherit the burden of His servitude. We want the blessing of a better job with more money, but we gain the burden of more workload. We want the blessing of being known more widely, but we gain the burden of being judged more closely. We want the blessing of good, godly children; but we have the burden of stewardship and discipleship. We want the blessing of a spouse; but we receive the burden of being selfless. We want a bigger home; but we receive the burden of more spaces to clean.

Even the greatest blessings in life can be burdensome if our perspective doesn’t stay focused on the gifts God has given. 

This Christmas season, I pray we remain mission-minded when our earthly minds are heavy. I pray we learn to trust Heaven’s perspective when ours feels limited. God is trustworthy in both our blessings and our burdens.

Brooke Skipworth McCrink is a lover of Jesus, family, and chocolate chip cookies. She was in full-time ministry prior to her life changing when she was betrayed, broken, then widowed. During that time God was so close to her and her children, and she now desires for everyone to intimately know the same God that carried her through the darkest valleys of her life. Now, Brooke recently remarried and is learning the ropes of blending family, finding new passion for life, and pursuing all God has in store!