by Christian Huff | Jul 8, 2019 | Featured, Relationships |
I’m sitting in a coffee shop in Omaha, Nebraska, next to my beautiful fiancé, writing my first blog ever about the best day of my life. I hope this story encourages and inspires everyone who reads it and I hope every reader leaves this page more captivated than ever by the One who is the true orchestrator of this relationship, Jesus Christ.
Neither Sadie nor I could have ever imagined the timing and the way the Lord brought us together. We are both here, not because of anything either of us did, but because of God’s faithfulness and kindness toward those who love and serve Him. We serve an amazing God who loves us relentlessly and will stop at nothing to draw us near to Him. I hope you see a glimpse of His love through the way Sadie and I love one another.
So, here goes a play by play of the day that I proposed to Sadie Carroway Robertson, who is the love of my life.
Sadie and I have birthdays just two days apart, so we decided to have a huge party on June 9, 2019. Now this was a “birthday party” to Sadie, but to everyone else it was a little more than just a “birthday party.” Both of us had invited a ton of our friends and family to Louisiana for the party. Most of them already knew more was going to happen than just celebrating our birthdays.
The morning of June 9th, I woke up antsy as all get out, knowing this was going to be the day I would propose, but I tried to act calm so Sadie wouldn’t suspect what was happening. It was tough, let me tell you, because she can read me like a book. I was praying that morning for God to bring ease and calmness to the day, allowing me to soak it all up and enjoy the moment that He created.
It was a Sunday, so we (the family and lots of our friends) got up that morning and headed to church. Church was amazing which started our day off right. Following the church service, everyone carpooled back to Korie and Willie’s house for the party which was to start at 1:00 that afternoon. It didn’t take long for everyone to change clothes and get the party started! Korie had the day organized with lots of competitive games and relay races, which was perfect for Sadie and me. We both love to play anything. (Side note: Sadie and I have never lost a game when we team up together in any sport. No big deal 🙂 ) After we finished all the games and the relay races, everyone left to get ready for the big dinner that was going to happen that night. Sadie and I were sitting by the pond talking about the day while I was icing my ankle. As I was icing my “not so swollen ankle” trying to stall for little bit of time, I told Sadie that I needed her to go inside and put on one of her favorite outfits. At this point, she knew what was happening. I had asked her mom, my mom, and all her sisters to help her get ready so they all went upstairs to Sadie’s room.
When we were both dressed and ready, I met her at the bottom of the stairs accompanied by her dad, my dad, and her brothers. I had a stack of letters for her that each member of our immediate family had written. From there, we hopped into the Bronco and drove out to a farmhouse Korie and Willie own where everything was set up for our magical moment.
Once we got there, we sat down to pray for our relationship. We even prayed over the ring. The moment was so full in the spirit. We both had never felt every fruit of the spirit like we did that day, in that moment. Once I finished praying, I stood up and walked around the blanket with the biggest smile ever on my face and asked the question “Sadie, will you marry me?” She screamed “YES!” and started to cry from excitement. She jumped up into my arms and I spun her around several times before gently letting her down onto the blanket. Then we both began screaming and laughing out loud at how exciting this moment in time was.
Let me just tell you friend, this was the most exhilarating moment of my life. After the proposal, we both caught our breath and I drove us over to the barn that sits on the property. In the barn was a screen and a projector, along with popcorn, M&Ms, and a coke. These are all of her favorite movie things. Together we laughed and cried as we watched a slideshow of our life together so far. It was great remembering all the things we had done together this past year. Soaking all of it in, just the two of us, was amazing, but we were also excited to go back and celebrate with all our friends and family. As we pulled up at Korie and Willie’s house, everyone was outside and met us with the loudest shouts and hoorays. Of course, everyone wanted to see the ring, give us a hug and take a picture. I think in that order.
The night wasn’t over yet. We ate dinner, then watched the video of our proposal outside on a big screen. I was smart enough to have someone hiding to film the whole thing. I knew it was something we would always want to have and it was fun to have the film to show our family and friends the very night it happened. Then we slipped away from the party to just sit in the hammock and rest for a moment. We wanted to talk about our day and pray (gotta give credit where credits due) over how amazing it was.
We could not be more thankful for everyone who loves us enough to drive or fly all the way to Louisiana to celebrate that day with us. It was truly the most special celebration. Any love that God brings together is worthy of celebration and should be clothed in intentionality. Psalm 37:23 says “The Lord directs the steps of the Godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.”
Let me tell you friend, our Father is in the details of our lives and, oh boy, does He take delight in the little things. Our proposal day was a dream come true and one that we love to replay over and over in our heads.
by Korie Robertson | Jun 14, 2019 | Motherhood, Relationships, Sisterhood |
We asked what you wanted to read more about on the LO Blog, and by far the most common theme requested was relationships. I totally get it! Relationships are hard! We are imperfect people loving imperfect people. How do we navigate that? There were a lot of questions that went something like this…How can I be a better/more Godly/happier wife/mom/sister/daughter/friend?
I love this question and I’m going to give you a simple answer because I believe that most things in life don’t take a rocket scientist to figure out (except for actual rocket science, for that you will need a rocket scientist). Here ya go: The best way to be a better you in your relationships is to treat the ones you love the most the very best. It’s that simple and, also, as difficult as you would imagine.
Why is this so difficult? Well, one reason is, the ones we love the most don’t always treat us the best. The first thing to remember in any relationship is that you can only work on you. All you can do is work to be a better, healthier, happier, kinder “you” which was exactly the question asked at the beginning of this blog—remember the question was, “How can I be a better….?”
A wise woman once told me, “You aren’t your husband’s Holy Spirit.” Neither are you your mom’s, your friend’s, or your sister’s Holy Spirit. Let the Spirit work on those around you and you work to be the best “you,” you can be. Even though you are only one part of the equation, when you change you, those around you will notice and over time they will start to change themselves. If they don’t, maybe you need to re-think that relationship, but that’s a whole other blog post.
Why do we give our best to people we don’t even know but treat the people we spend our lives with, the ones we promised to love forever and always, the very ones that hold our hair when we are throwing up, the ones that saw us through the hard times, so terribly? I think part of it is we feel safe with our loved ones. They are stuck with us. They literally can’t leave. We live in the same house; there is nowhere for them to go. We feel free to be “ourselves.” Unfortunately sometimes we are only giving them the bad parts of ourselves. It’s good to have people we can be real with, be vulnerable with, show the not so pretty parts to, free feel with, but it doesn’t mean we get to treat them badly.
“Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Hmmm, if you say you love your husband, boyfriend, sister, mom, dad, friend, you should probably check to see if the way you are treating them stacks up to this biblical definition. If it doesn’t, you’ve got some things to work on.
I’ll never forget a lesson a bible teacher I had in high school taught me. He had us write our name in the place of the word “love” in this verse as a reminder of how we are called to act toward others. So it would go like this, “Korie is patient, Korie is kind…” you get the idea. Do it for yourself. I promise you will re-think some of your interactions with the people you love the most.
Now for some practical ways to treat those you love the very best. I really believe that if you just add these three things into your daily life with your nearest and dearest, it will begin to change your relationships for the better.
1. Act excited when you see them. Think about what you do when you see a child that you love but haven’t seen in a while. A big smile comes across your face, you stretch out your arms, scoop them up into a big hug, maybe even swirl them around. Now contrast that with how you acted last night when you saw your husband for the first time after work. Ouch! I know! Did you even look up from your phone? Did you stop what you were doing to ask how his day was or did you launch into all the things that went wrong that day or all the things he forgot to do? What would happen if you ran over and gave him a big hug and then twirled him around when you first saw him after a long day? Would he think you had lost your mind? Maybe, but I bet he would love it! Think about your reaction you have when you see your kids, your friend, your mom, your roommate. Do you act excited when they walk through the door? Do you show them that you are happy that they are there? That first interaction can set the tone for the rest of your time together. Stop what you are doing, smile, walk over and give them a hug, ask them a question about their day. Think about how you would feel if someone did that for you. It would make your day better, right? Do that for the ones you love and see what happens.
2. Lead with the positive. I was reading Revelation the other day (I know you probably didn’t think I was going to bring up the book of Revelation in this blog about relationships did you!). Something struck me in the way God gave John the messages he wrote to the churches. He always started with something positive. These churches had some real problems, but every single time, before he said something they needed to work on, he praised them for something they were doing well. Here’s an example so you get the idea, Revelation 2:1-4: To the church in Ephesus, “I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance…you have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet hold this against you: you have forsaken your first love….” He then he goes on to tell them what they need to change.
I thought about it and realized God doesn’t have to do that. He doesn’t have to lead with praise or a compliment. He’s God! But He does, so maybe I should learn a little something from God’s example. I challenge you to incorporate the principle of leading with the positive into your relationships. It will change the way you are received by those you love.
Also, in doing this, it will force you to actually think of something positive about someone you might be having some struggles with. It might be difficult when you are angry, right? The person you thought was the love of your life just days before, suddenly you can’t recall anything they are doing right. But, if you make yourself think of something positive about that person, and say that first, you and the other person will be in a better state of mind to tackle the problem. Sometimes the hard things need to be said, but lead with the positive and the other person will be more ready to listen.
3. Always kiss them goodbye. A mother who lost a son to a motorcycle wreck years ago broke my heart when she reminded me, “You never know when it will be the last time you get to kiss them goodbye.” I know this is a difficult thing to think about, but it has stuck with me because it is so true. We aren’t promised tomorrow. We should live each day like it might be our last. If we do that, how would it change the way we treat the ones we love? Take the time to give them a kiss goodbye and tell them you love them every time they walk out of the door. It only takes a few seconds, but it may make all the difference.
I hope this is helpful! Every time I write to you I am in prayer that the things I write are meaningful to your lives. I know life can be difficult, and relationships are not easy. By giving you these simple things, I can’t promise you that it will solve all of your relationship problems, but I can tell you that these are things that have made a difference in my relationships. I do know that when you work on yourself, even if the other person doesn’t change, (because people can be stuck in bad habits that are hard to change, so be patient, this isn’t an overnight fix) you will be happier and more at peace because you are doing all that you can do and that always matters!
Try these 3 things for a week and let us know if it’s had an impact on your relationships. We’d love to hear!
Korie Robertson is a New York Times bestselling author and speaker who is passionate about motherhood. Korie (K-Swaggy) is a mom to Sadie — and five other amazing kids. In her free time, you’ll find her playing tennis, drinking coffee and spending time with her kids and new grandson, Zane.
Catch Korie and Willie on the Getaway Night Tour this fall in a city near you!
Follow Korie on Instagram @bosshogswife
by Live Original | Jun 7, 2019 | Featured, Relationships |
The other day, our team was sitting around marveling at all that God has taught us in relationships over the years. All of a sudden, it dawned on us that each one of us is in a different season regarding our relationships. From there, the idea of this blog post was born.
Let me explain: Stephy is our single gal (all the single ladies put your hands up!). Sadie is loving life with her boyfriend, Christian. Court is right in the middle of an engagement season with her fiancé, Taylor, and will be getting married in TWO short months! Lastly, Morgan married her husband, Ryan, just ONE short year ago.
All different seasons and experiences, yet on the SAME path to have a healthy relationship with God, ourselves, and our people.
We have collected questions that YOU have asked regarding relationships and have done our best to answer the top themes!
The hope is that you will relate to one or more of our experiences as you look at the season of life you are in and that it would bring you peace, hope, and clarity to know that God is holding you right where you are, whether that is single dating, engaged, or married.
Now let’s dive in!
1. Is there any way to know when you are ready to date? (Sadie)
This answer is coming from a humble place, because had I known this when I was 16, I would have saved people and myself from a lot of heartache. Looking back, I am truly sad to say that out of my brokenness, I would get into relationships because I “needed” something. Of course, at the time, I didn’t realize my impure motives. I never intentionally thought, going into a relationship, that I was trying to “get something” out of anyone, but I can see now that I was searching for something. I needed self-confidence, reassurance, affirmation, healing, someone to make me feel less lonely, someone to redeem the past. I went into every relationship needing something that only Jesus could give me. When it ended it left me feeling emptier than when I started. I think you are ready to date when you find contentment in Christ and don’t actually “need anything from anyone.” You have to realize that they cannot and will not give you what only Jesus can give you.
2. How do you know when it is the right relationship? (Morgan)
There have been times in my life (pre-marriage and pre-Ryan), that I wanted a relationship so badly that I settled, manipulated, and justified being with the wrong guys. After all, I believed the lie that “a guy is better than NO guy.”
THIS IS NOT TRUE! In those past relationships, I knew they didn’t make me better. It wasn’t until I met Ryan that I saw and experienced the blessings of being with the “right” man.
Disclaimer: When I say the “right” man, I am referring to the “right kind” of man. Stop living in fear that you’re not going to find the one, leaving you indefinitely single with a million cats and TV dinners every night. Look for the “one” who has the qualities of Jesus.
Here are the qualities to look for to know if you are in the right kind of relationship:
- Does he spend time with Jesus? Spending genuine time with Jesus will subsequently make you more like Jesus.
- Is he bearing good fruit? You will know someone’s relationship with Jesus by their fruit. Aka, how do they love people?
- Are you the one that fights for physical boundaries in the relationship or does he lead out in that way? This is so important because if someone respects you physically, it means they are seeing you through a Godly lens. It also means that they are marriage minded, trusting that God will provide those things when the time comes.
Lastly, are you being the type of woman that will attract a godly man and bring out the best in him? This is the key to preparing yourself for the right one.
“Seek first his kingdom and all these things will be added.” Matthew 6:33
If you read one of those qualities and know that your relationship isn’t a reflection of this, it’s time to be real with yourself and ask if this is the right relationship for you. Again, trust that God has the best for you as his daughter and you don’t need to settle for the wrong guy!
3. How can I be content without a relationship? (Steph)
I’ll be honest, this has not been easy for me at times. If you are reading this as a single person, I’d imagine it hasn’t been easy for you at times too.
Being content without a relationship is certainly a challenge! I’ve longed to be a wife and mom since I was a little girl – but my life has not played out in that way. At times, I have felt discontentment creep in and set up camp in my heart!
In these times, I have to remind myself that even if “Mr. Wonderful” came along tomorrow, that person would never fulfill the longing in my heart for TRUE contentment. Lasting joy and true fulfillment is found in knowing the love that only Jesus offers. Whether you’re looking for your husband, the right job, more money, “fill in the blank”, we (I) need to remember to always center our heart back to Jesus and treasure Him above all things.
I love Paul’s words in Phil 4:11-13 where he shares that He has discovered the “secret to being content”! The secret is knowing and treasuring Jesus as the greatest source of love and satisfaction!
I don’t want to diminish the reality that singleness is hard and it’s okay to admit it. I have a circle of close friends and there have been (many) times where I have cried to them, asked them to pray for me, and have gotten honest about the reality that singleness is at times, painful. Marriage is a Godly gift worth desiring and I believe God knows the pain this unfulfilled longing brings my heart some days. I do believe it is possible to feel that sadness yet still rejoice in knowing that we have already been made complete in Christ.
4. How do you know when it is the right relationship? (Court)
I used to get so frustrated when someone says, ‘when you know… you know.’ I’m like, but how will I actually know this is the right relationship for me? So, I started praying for God to show me WHAT the right relationship looked like. This was a game changer. Before I met the right person, God began to strip away some of my old “ideas” of the perfect guy and replacing them with the characteristics and elements that I needed to compliment me and help me be the best person He created me to be. Friends, I’m sitting here on the other side, engaged, and about to step into marriage. I can confidently say to you… you will know in your spirit and heart.
The moment I started dating Taylor (my fiancé) I felt and experienced these things…
I felt God’s overwhelming peace.
I felt so known.
I felt completely understood.
I felt so cared for.
My family adored him.
I felt challenged to live up to who God made me to be
I felt free to be 100 percent me. That I was enough.
I felt like I gained a teammate to run the race God set before us.
Before I met Taylor, I had never experienced anything like this. In the right relationship, there is no room for insecurity or fear. Of course, there have been moments where we challenged each other or had tough convos, but overall, God’s peace has reigned in our hearts. That’s how I knew he was right for me. And, today, the thing that most definitely binds us together is our faith and our commitment to never stop praying for each other and together. Let God be your #1 always.
5. What does it mean to be “equally yoked”? (Morgan)
For the longest time, when I heard this phrase growing up, I always thought for some reason the phrase was referring to two people whose eggs were equally cooked (equally “yolked”, haha).
It was only in the past few years that I learned the origin of the phrase and the significance of being yoked together with my husband.
The phrase comes from 2 Corinthians 6:14, which says: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
Paul, the writer of this letter, used the term “equally yoked” as an analogy that the culture of the time could understand. A “yoke” is a wooden instrument used to bind two oxen together so that they are able to evenly distribute the weight of the goods they are carrying. When one of the oxen cannot carry the same amount of weight, the pair is “unequally yoked” and cannot effectively complete the work required of them.
So when God tells us we need to be equal in our yoke (which here, our yoke is our faith), it is not to punish us, but to provide for us the partner that can allow us to flourish and fall more in love with Jesus through prayer, belief, and healthy partnership.
It is wise that you take caution and not fall in love with someone who is not chasing after Jesus like you are, for this will truly cause your heart pain and furthermore, cause separation from God.
6. Should you date someone who doesn’t share the same faith as you? (Court)
This is a tough one. The simple answer is no. I’ll share my story with the hope of giving more grace and understanding.
In college, I started dating this guy. He was sweet, kind, fun-loving and I knew he came from a “good family.” Meaning I knew that his family went to some type of church. I remember feeling so excited that I found a guy that kind of goes to church because most of the others I met could care less about what they believed. Most guys cared more about drinking and sleeping around vs. going to church on Sunday.
And, to be honest, my faith was questionable in college too. I knew truth, I knew Jesus, and I knew in my heart that He loved me. However, I was distracted by the college scene and my boyfriend. Can any of you relate?
It’s hard to date someone when you don’t even know where you stand in your own faith. So, for those reading, or in college, who don’t know what they believe or why they believe it, I encourage you to start there before you pursue dating.
Continuing on the story. I’ll spare you the details. Three years into dating this guy, I was still asking, “Is this the right guy?” While I was home from school that summer, Jesus totally captured my heart. I came back to school, feeling refreshed, convicted and hopeful that my boyfriend would join me in this new journey!
But we were on completely different pages. He was “supportive” and would come to church with me. But he was not “excited” to step into his faith. He was not willing to have tough conversations, and every time we did, he looked at me blankly like I was a different person (which I was… how cool is God?!). I prayed and believed that God would change his heart and He would use me to do that.
So, I continued in the relationship for a long time after, hoping that I could shine a light on who God is and why I believe. Maybe some of you are currently in relationships where you are trying to lead and love your person closer towards Jesus. That was me. Almost a year later, I finally knew that He was not right for me. I made every effort. I prayed for God to stir his heart. I prayed for God to confirm and deny whether I should continue dating him. God answered so clearly. So guess what? I broke up with him graciously and started spending my time in places with people who believed what I did and were just as passionate, if not more, about God.
Your faith is one of the greatest connections you can possibly have in dating and engagement. Hold tightly. It matters.
7. How do you know when it is the right relationship? (Sadie)
First off, I want to touch on how you can know you’re in a WRONG relationship. One good clue is to look at who you have become since dating that person. If you have lost your personality, your peace, your joy, your confidence, your purity and the desires inside of you, then it’s probably time to lose the relationship and find yourself again in Christ. The wrong relationship will produce the wrong fruit. If you have to change who you are, it’s not the right relationship.
The right relationship will produce the right fruit in you and through you. It will bless you, not take from you. Ask yourself questions like: “Since the beginning of this relationship, have I seen the fruit of Jesus in my life?” No one is going to be perfect, so don’t look for perfect, but you can be and should be HEALTHY!
The other thing is when you realize the one you are dating is really “the one”, it won’t be some magical moment with bells ringing and pixie dust falling from the sky and seven shooting stars flashing across the sky like a July 4thcelebration. You won’t get a “sign” written by the universe that he is the one. I think so many times we get caught up in looking for a sign. The looking causing us to miss the actual magic of how God brings two people together. How he creates one to complete the other. Stop looking for crazy signs around you and look in front of you. That way you can see that what you prayed for is standing right there. Look inside of you and realize who you have become by the power and blessing of partnering with who God has created.
8. What advice would you give to someone who’s never been in a relationship? (Steph)
Don’t sweat it and don’t allow your “lack of experience” to keep you from moving forward in a relationship in the future when the time is right! From one sister to another, there is nothing wrong with you if you haven’t been in a relationship – no matter what age you are. In your waiting, I encourage you to check in with yourself and make sure fear & insecurities are not creeping in and preventing you from meeting people! If so, ask the Lord to help you overcome these areas of your life and to prepare yourself for when the right person does come along!
We hope you’ve at least taken away one thing from these answers and it brings you peace in the season of relationship you’re in! Thanks for being people to ask such important questions!
Follow the Live Original Team on Instagram @liveoriginal
by Sarah Tucker | May 20, 2019 | Featured, Relationships, Testimonies |
This past September, my sister and I hopped on a plane to Boston to meet a guy she had been talking to for months leading up to this point. He had tickets to a Kenny Chesney concert and my parents sure weren’t letting my nineteen-year-old sister travel alone to meet some guy she met on Instagram (laughing emoji here), so off we went!
From the second we landed in Boston to the time we boarded our 5 AM flight headed back to Nashville, I had never seen anyone take care of anyone the way that he took care of us. US. I was included in that. LOL. Can I get a heyyy from all the third wheels out there?? “Heyyy!” Just kidding, it wasn’t a third wheel situation at all. I couldn’t believe that I didn’t know him and like it was nothing, he took care of me, too. His brother also happened to be in town that weekend, so we all hung out, had the best time at the concert, danced around, and played games, ‘cause what better way to end a night than a classic game of act it out?
I watched and listened those few days as we all got to know each other better. The way he talked about God, his family, his life… I couldn’t believe it. He was great. They both were, really.
I laid my head on that pillow in their apartment in little town, Massachusetts and felt shame cover me like the blanket I was laying under. God had healed my heart of the hurts I’d felt in the past. He’d made me new, I knew I was forgiven, and His love had made me whole, but I had never felt shame before. Not like this, anyways.
I’ve always been one to know who and whose I am and when it comes to obvious attacks of the enemy, well, the enemy can just go back to where he came from. Shame was new to me though. I’d never felt this before and because it was new to me, I didn’t even know what it was or how to fight it off. I found myself laying in that dark room (don’t we know that dark rooms need light and light brings truth, and truth, freedom) entertaining thoughts about myself that were simply not true. I found myself making agreements to things like, these are good guys, they would never like a ‘you’. Like a ‘me’ had something wrong with it.
I know it sounds silly and saying it out loud really makes it sound silly, but I’ve had sex before and in that moment, for the very first time, I felt ‘less than’ because of it. I felt unworthy of a good man and unworthy of love. Like the fact that I’m not a virgin anymore takes away my value. I found myself believing the lie that a good Godly man was for my sister, but not for me. And isn’t that such a trick of the enemy to tell you what God has for someone else, He doesn’t have for you. El Shaddai. God of MORE than enough.
S-E-X was a dirty word that was meant for marriage. Don’t have it. Why? No one told me and I certainly didn’t ask. All I knew about sex was not to have it. I think in the “don’t have sex till you’re married” talks, we miss the heart of the God. It’s an avoided subject because it’s uncomfortable. Parents don’t always have the answers and kids are afraid to ask. Afraid to ask who they should be asking, anyways. (Your friends in the locker room and at slumber parties are not the people you should be asking/talking about sex with, unless what they have to say lines up with what God has to say about it). The why matters. It’s the very reason to wait.
What I wish 17, 19, 22-year-old me knew, was that no good thing does He withhold. God doesn’t say to wait for marriage because He’s mean or thinks it’s a fun game of survival of the fittest. It’s not punishment, it’s protection. God designed sex, it’s a great thing inside of marriage, but outside of marriage, it’s detrimental to our souls. It creates a playground in our minds and hearts for the enemy to wreak havoc. It gives him a foothold. It steals from us. What was meant to bring life, literally and figuratively, outside of the confinement of marriage, brings death. Death to our hearts, death to our spirits, death to our hopes and death to our expectations.
So here I am, a girl who’s had sex when it “meant nothing” and also when I thought I was in love and it “didn’t feel wrong” and I’m telling you, ohhh my heart, don’t do it… don’t miss God’s heart for you in it. It eventually all comes back around. The hurt comes back around and this hurt is a hurt we were never intended to feel. We were never meant to walk in a room and our hearts drop down to our stomachs because of a soul-tie we were never supposed to have. God has better for us than that.
We have to trust the heart of the Father but in order to trust His heart, we must first know His heart. God’s heart is always always always for us. In every aspect of our lives, especially when it comes to relationships, His heart for us is best. He knows who we need, what we need, and when we need it.
When you entertain and make agreements with lies of the enemy, you hear things like you’re not good enough, not worthy enough, dirty, and used. But when you invite Jesus into the dark, when you invite in truth, when you turn the light on, you hear His loving thoughts towards you. You are covered by the blood of Jesus. You are fully known and deeply loved by Love himself. Not only did Jesus die for our sins, but he died for our shame, too. And because Jesus took my shame, when I feel it being thrown on top of me, my fight back, my declaration is this — That is not who I am.
Because who we are is not defined by what we’ve done, but what Jesus did. It is finished. I am free, I am righteous, and because of Jesus, I am right with God.
For months after that trip, my sister and I would receive group texts from this friend of ours with nothing but words of truth and encouragement. How when he sees us or thinks of us, pure hearts and souls come to mind. That nothing we do or say makes him think this way, but the way Jesus radiates from us.
For a good while, I thought he was just throwing my name in the message line because I was the sister, but time after time, I heard Holy Spirit whisper to my heart, this is how I see you. What this person doesn’t know, and may not ever know, is the weight that his words carried, how they touched my heart, how they led me to His. Those texts sent calling out the good, calling out the gold inside of me, whether I believed it at the time or not, brought healing to my heart and restored my soul. I believe God used this experience, those texts, this friendship, to show me and remind me how HE sees me. He doesn’t see me the way that I see me. He doesn’t love me the way that I see fit or worthy of love. He sees me as His own. He loves me as His own. He gave His own for me, and even still, He would do it all over again.
When I thought, “You’re just saying this because you don’t know who I really am, you don’t know what I’ve done,” I heard God assure my heart. This is how I’ve always seen you, this is who you are.
A year and a half later, sitting on my bedroom floor with tears streaming down my face, Jesus healed my heart again. God showed me this picture of Jesus holding a cup of my tears. All the tears shed over all the hurt that came along with not trusting and doing what I thought I wanted. Taking the cup, Jesus poured them over my heart. And for the very first time, the salt didn’t sting.
Let him touch you. Even in–especially in– the places that hurt. The places that feel dark and covered in shame. The ones that leave you paralyzed feeling everything but the truth.
Jesus’s blood, it covers us. Pure. Holy. Righteous. Loved. Worthy. Treasured. Forgiven. Redeemed.
He sees you. He’s always seen you. He loves you, always has and always will. No more and no less. Let the light in, friends.
He is your redemptive story.
I had to learn it the hard way. I didn’t know the “why” and now I do… My prayer in sharing this, even if it’s just for one of you, is that you don’t have to learn it the hard way. And if you’re like me and you’ve crossed a line you wish you hadn’t, that you leave this page feeling so loved, so forgiven, so worthy, so redeemed.
I hope my story leads you to the Father’s heart for you. That He meets you where you’re at and speaks right to yours. Father I thank you. I thank you for your goodness. I thank you that you use it ALL and turn it into good. I thank you that even when we mess up and turn from your ways and do things our own, that you don’t change. You don’t withhold, you stay the same, your love remains.
Thank you for picking up all of the pieces of this broken heart and redeeming them. For bringing them–bringing me–to yourself. Thank you for the freedom that following You brings.
In all of this, in Him, what I’ve lost is restored.
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.
Romans 8:1-2
Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8:5-6
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. John 3:16-17
Sarah Tucker is the owner of Imago Dei in Franklin, TN, where the heart behind the shop is to point people back to Jesus and serve as a reminder to everyone who visits that they are made in the image of God. She loves drinking coffee, long country drives, and spending time with her friends and family!
Follow Sarah on Instagram @sarahatucker
by Andi Wooldridge | Apr 15, 2019 | Relationships, Testimonies |
I woke up to the sound of snickering and laughter coming from the other side of the bedroom door. My head was spinning, body trembling, and heart pounding. I closed my eyes again and tried to convince myself it was just a really bad dream. This kind of thing doesn’t happen to girls like me…
And what kind of girl would that be? Let me give you some context. A girl who just gets dressed up for a night of fun… who doesn’t think twice about trying to look beautiful to go to a party…girls who value who they are on the inside and out…
But, sadly, it did happen. And it happens more often than you might imagine–to beautiful girls who, like me, who are trying to be the best they can be.
Beautiful girls. How does the word beauty play into my story? Let’s take a step back. What is the definition of beauty? Personally, when I think of beauty, I imagine snapshots of creation. Sunrises that paint the morning into existence, sunsets of neon colors, northern lights twinkling in a sky full of constellations, white sands that stretch on for miles, bright blue Caribbean waters, mountains that unabashedly reach for the heavens, the list is limitless. But in pragmatic terms, beauty is defined in the Merriam-Webster dictionary as “the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit.” It goes on to include these words “especially: a beautiful woman.”
That last part, did you catch it? Why do you suppose the dictionary includes a woman under the definition of beautiful? There’s no doubt the snapshots of creation exalt my spirit, but Eve was undoubtedly the crowning jewel of all creation. Ladies, we are God’s pièce de résistance (masterpiece). What a gift we’ve been given!
From Cleopatra to Joan of Arc, men have crossed the seas and fought many a war for a beautiful woman. There is undoubtedly a mighty power in the beauty a woman holds that can cause a man to cross seas and fight wars. But, there is a flip side to this. Usher in a fallen world, and with that fall came a thirst for power over and possession of beautiful things. An incredible gift so easily twisted, distorted, idolized, and stripped apart from God’s holy intentions. What God intended for good, man can use for evil.
The depth and danger of such ungodliness came crashing into my own little world my sophomore year of college. I was best described as a conservatively-bred, partially-sheltered, naïve-in-the-collegiate-athletic culture, far-from-her-roots, nineteen-year-old. Being young and naïve surely helped fuel the elation I felt upon being invited to a joint birthday party for a teammate and her guy-friend at a high-rise penthouse in my new home and among my new friends in Miami. I couldn’t wait to get all dolled up to join in on the fun. As I stepped out for an expectant evening, I felt what Eve and millions of women for centuries have felt–beautiful.
But beauty turned to ashes that night in the blink of a mascara-smeared eye. I awoke to the realization that I had been gang raped by four party goers; one of them was the birthday boy himself. I was crushed. I grieved what was stolen from me. I wanted nothing more than to hide from the world. I convinced myself this “gift” of being a woman was actually a curse and I was so angry with God. I strayed away from my Heavenly Father and from my true self. I built a wall in my heart so high and I pushed away anyone and everyone that came too close. I went numb.
“What makes you vulnerable, makes you beautiful.” – Brené Brown
Ladies, sometimes it feels safer to simply hide who you are–a beautiful woman made by God–because with womanly beauty also comes vulnerability. And vulnerability means “being open to attack or damage; being capable of physical or emotional damage.” I did NOT like that feeling.
But, then something else happened. I was sporadically attending a church down near my college and on one of the Sundays I attended, the sermon was centered on 1 Corinthians 12:9-10.
“But He said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
Lightbulb. And gut-check.
I was trying so hard to rely on my own strength and to come up with my own answers as to why this happened to be. I tried to be tough. And, with that, I had all but lost who God made me to be. Sure, on the exterior I still looked the part, and in front of close friends and family I acted the part as well, but my light inside had been snuffed out. That day, at church, I tapped out. It was time to stop relying on my own strength and trust in the one who made me. The one who calls me beautiful and the one who knows what power I have in His name and in His image.
Matthew 11: 28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
My soul needed rest. Once I laid my hurt and anger at His feet, I felt like my own feet began to float. I died to myself that day; and like a phoenix I rose from those ashes. That, my friends, is a beautiful thing. I felt the spark in my soul begin to rekindle. I felt capable of moving forward and being the beautiful, but humble; strong, but empathetic; fiery, but sweet woman the God of the Universe intended for me to be. And no man can ever take that away. I realized that evil exists, but God is greater. Flip! Genesis 50:20 “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many peopleshould be kept alive, as they are today.”
Yes, history has shown us that there is power in physical beauty. It has also shown us that many have used that power in the wrong way. With great power comes great responsibility. The Bible makes it clear that true beauty is more than physical beauty. Your beauty is not solely defined by your outward appearance. When I chose to become emotionally numb, distant, and turn the lights off, I lost the true power that comes with beauty. My ability to nurture, love, comfort, empathize, guide and encourage those around me disappeared. Here’s a hard truth: it is possible to look beautiful on the outside while being the opposite on the inside. I am here to urge you to resist the cocoon! Don’t hide away and deprive those that need you to be your best self of your gifts and talents.
Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”
Embrace that you are a beautiful woman, inside and out, created by a loving father. Know what power you hold and use it for good. When you rest in the comfort of the Lord Almighty, when you run to your Heavenly Father and choose to be all that He intended for you, you are a force to be reckoned with and no enemy shall prevail against you. You will change more lives than you could have ever imagined. When we long for a life without difficulties remember this, Oak trees are made strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made beautiful under pressure.
My story has a redemptive ending that only the God of the Universe could have scripted. Shortly after I was convicted that bunkering down wasn’t what God desired for me, I met the man who would become my husband, Zach. God knew exactly what kind of man I needed. Zach came into my life with a sledge hammer in one hand and tender touch in the other. He tore down the wall I had built around me. This August will be our fourth anniversary and we have two beautiful little girls.
As Romans 8:28 says “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” My story is woven into the grand narrative of our savior and because I surrendered the hurt and heartache to Him, I am free and fully able to guide others to the grace and peace that can be found nowhere else. Let your light shine, be beautiful inside and out, know the power you have and use it constructively to lift others up. Remember, you are God’s masterpiece! And God doesn’t make mistakes.
One of my absolute favorite quotes sums it up so well:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
-Marianne Williamson
Andi lives in the Panhandle of Florida with her husband and two girls Maison and Blake-leigh. Being the wife of an active duty Pararescueman (AKA Guardian Angel) comes with its unique set of challenges, but one thing for certain is that life is never boring. She currently works as a Personal Trainer and has made it her mission to remind women whose they are and why they were created to thrive, not merely survive. She uses her testimony to positively impact others and coach them to reach their God-given potential both physically and spiritually.
Follow Andi on socials media!
Instagram @andi_elizabeth21
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by Morgan Krueger | Feb 27, 2019 | Featured, Life Advice, Relationships |
Have you ever noticed an object that shines? And I mean, really shines? I’m not talking about your friend that got a really solid spray tan in the winter from a Groupon she stumbled upon. I’m talking about a radiant, cannot be hidden or mistaken for anything but God’s goodness kind of shine.
Around this time last year, my boyfriend (now husband) asked me to join him in a lifetime of adventure, unknowns, and a God-given covenant. Saying yes was the easiest choice I ever made. I remember the moment he slipped the ring on my finger. It was the most beautiful symbol of love I had ever seen. That ring represented and still does today a commitment to sacrificially serve, seek to understand, and believe the best in each other as long as we both shall live. It didn’t hurt that it was pretty easy on the eyes, too.
It was a rainy New Year’s Eve day in Texas, but my ring didn’t fail to bring an unexplained brightness to our night as we celebrated our future together with our families. We welcomed all that the New Year and our new life together had in store for us.
As adulting would have it, the memorable weekend ended and Monday was calling my name. I returned to my job, took a seat at my desk, and attempted to wrap my head around all that had happened and the changes that were coming for me this year. I was “afraid yet filled with joy” as described in Matthew 28. I decided to take a quick walk before the demands of the day crowded my mind.
It was still early in the morning, but as the sun was rising, I knew it was going to be a beautiful day. I was soaking in this quiet moment when something amazing happened. I looked down at my ring and it just about took my breath away. The light from the sun was hitting my ring and the brilliant shine that appeared was one I hadn’t seen over the weekend. Not only did it have a new glow, the reflection of the ring shone in what seemed like endless directions. The morning sky seemed to reveal a deeper dimension, one that was there all along, but I hadn’t seen it.
I later discovered that there are three factors that work in unison to give diamonds their trademark shine: reflection, refraction, and dispersion.
Reflection is the process of light hitting the diamond surface and immediately bouncing back. Then the light goes deeper into the diamond, reaching into the corners and ridges and filling those spaces with illumination. This is the refraction phase. Once refraction is completed, the light reaches beyond the diamonds interior and meets our eyes with a shine and that is called the dispersion. The shine created is radiant and multidimensional to the human eye and creates an internal awe that captivates the human heart.
Friends, let us look to this process and consider what it means for us in light of the gospel.
First, the light of Christ will affect us. In John 8:12 (NIV) Jesus says, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” This is a promise from Jesus that says whoever will let His light in will not be the same. Just like the reflection in a diamond, the light that He offers doesn’t have to be earned, but will be freely and immediately given to whoever is willing to walk into His presence.
Next, the light of Christ goes deeper. The complete understanding and depth of who Jesus is will be a lifelong journey for me, but one thing I can tell you is Jesus is not interested in a one-time interaction. You are far more precious to Him than a quick, “Hello, nice to meet ya.” No, He is interested in YOU. You on your good days, your bad days, with your past hurts, your habits, your quirks and your fears. Jesus, by essence, is the Great Pursuer and He will never stop being just that toward you. God called Jesus to go after the one, and as hard as it is to believe this, you, my friend, are the one.
As Jesus’ light hits us, it will go into the cracks, corners, and hidden places of our life. Just as a refraction in a diamond causes light to not discriminate the dark places, Jesus will not discriminate the dark places either. He doesn’t have a threshold of how dark is too dark. In fact, He welcomes those places all the more. He is eagerly waiting for the opportunity to debunk this very lie in your heart. That lie that says because of what you’ve done in the dark, He will withhold his love and be unwilling to qualify you by His light. He will reach deeper until His light reaches every dark place.
Lastly, the light of Christ will always create a shine in you. As you can see, there is a process to achieving a great shine. Psalm 34:5 (NIV) reveals, “Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.” Jesus bids our hearts to come and look. Taste and see. Step out and experience. This daily relationship based on love and trust is what produces in and through us a shine that disperses His light from the inside out, just like in the last phase of a diamond’s shine. This shine acts as a declaration to the world that we have been given a newness of purpose and identity.
A life postured correctly in the light of Christ will be illuminated and bring to the surface what was always there.
You have always been seen.
You have always been loved.
You have always been lovely.
You have always been pursued.
Sometimes this is hard to believe because of things that have happened in our lives. Perhaps you’ve hidden sin and shame from God and others for a long time. You might think the decisions you’ve made have created a dull or damaged spirit disqualifying you from this radiant life. If that’s the case, God, and diamonds, have something to say about that.
Remember this about every shiny diamond you have ever “oohed” and “awed” over: even the shiniest diamonds are a collection of light and dark places. While this may seem like it would lessen the quality of the diamond’s beauty, it is actually the thing that illuminates the shine.
William Goldberg, a diamond expert, put it this way: “It’s like a candle; the flame always appears brighter in a dark room than it does in a lighted room. It all comes down to contrast; a diamond without contrast might still shine just as much, but the shine would be significantly less impressive.”
In 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV), Paul lets us in on a word that Jesus gave to Him on this matter: “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest on me.”
The transformative work of Jesus is the recipe for a radiant shine. No more, no less. He wants to redeem the darkest places in your life and, over time, those will be the areas that will give Him the most glory. God gave us the image of Himself through Christ that we might believe, be restored in relationship with Him, and be healed.
The irony of a diamond’s shine is that, scientifically, it’s classified as a reflection rather than that of a shine. What beautiful, freeing news this is! Our shine is actually a reflection of His pursuit of us.
Find peace and rest in this, friends. Behavior modification is not needed for life change.
A.W. Tozer said it best; “When we lift our inward eyes to gaze upon God we are sure to meet friendly eyes gazing back at us, for it is written that the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout all the earth. The sweet language of experience is ‘Thou God seest me.’ When the eyes of the soul looking out meet the eyes of Good looking in, heaven has begun right here on this earth.”
Reflect. Refract. Disperse. Repeat.
Morgan Krueger is the newest member of the LO Team and loves any opportunity to hear someones heart (or their enneagram number). In her free time she loves drinking coffee with friends, watching british baking shows, and dreaming big with her husband in Franklin, TN.
Follow Morgan on Instagram @morganwkrueger
