by Emma Brownawell | Apr 29, 2021 | Life Advice, Testimonies |
Thinking back to being an athlete, one may assume I would be filled with moments of joy and memories of winning and pure laughter shared with my teammates. Yes, I certainly did have these moments, however, my initial thoughts when associating myself with being an athlete, makes my spirit ache. It aches because it reminds me of the times when the enemy did everything to come after my confidence and lead me to believe my weight somehow determined my worth and purpose.
I remember this one specific morning, like it was yesterday, between high school and training for college. Our team showed up to practice at 5:30 a.m. to be weighed, while yes, this is a very normal concept for higher level sports, it unfortunately has become the determining factor of “worth and value” within the rowing atmosphere. For this sport, the lighter you are, the better because once you hit a weight over 130 pounds, you no longer were in a place to race and almost seen as purposeless. I remember this one Monday reallyyyyy clearly, I stepped on the scale and our coach looked at me saying, “you can’t race tomorrow because your weight is over.” I walked outside and now remember being fed a lie from the enemy, “I was unworthy of a place on this team because of my weight.” To be really honest, I believed that lie for years. It took until graduation from college for me to take a step back from the competitive atmosphere and surround myself with truth. The thought hit me, how often do we do this in culture?
You don’t even have to be a part of a competitive sport for the enemy to try to convince you of your lack of worth. Beauty and purpose aren’t determined by your outer appearance or a number. What about the likes on Instagram? Have you ever posted a photo on Instagram and received more likes than usual, allowing yourself to then classify yourself or photo as “worthy” or on the other hand, didn’t get as many likes? Isn’t it funny how when we get less likes than normal or don’t hit a certain number, the enemy has a funny and dark way of convincing us that we aren’t pretty enough, gifted enough or worthy enough of likes or worldly acceptance? To be very honest, for the longest time, whenever I heard or saw the word “beauty”, I instantly would think of an individual’s exterior appearance which pushed me to believe that my worth was somehow wrapped up in how I presented myself to the world. The more beautiful a thing or person was, the more they seemed to be “loved and accepted”. But if we look around, determines society’s definition of beauty? We turn to magazines, advertisements, TV shows, and social media posts. These platforms can feed us the image of flawless women with the “perfect wardrobe and dreamy lifestyle”. How often we believe that once we achieve that, we will THEN be seen as beautiful.
Why is that? Why are we so focused on outer beauty as a culture? We hardly ever take the time to look at our inner beauty, our talents, gifts and purpose. Psalm 139 tells us that the Lord “formed our inner beings and knitted us together in our mothers’ womb.” This is no secret! He loved us, called us His, called a good work within and wrote our life story before we were even born and fully developed into our physical bodies. This has nothing to do with our physical appearance.
In fact, that same chapter says that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” Oftentimes, we like to apply this to physical beauty, but it turns out that when translated in the Hebrew context fearfully means “with heart-felt interest and reverence,” and wonderfully means “to be set apart”. So, what this verse really tells us is that God made each one of us with deep intention, to be set apart to complete a good work only YOU can complete. The point of our existence isn’t to be liked, either by the world or a little button on Instagram nor to look a certain way or live a certain way chasing numbers. Why do you think it’s called Insta-gram? It gives you an instant gram, each “like” can be thought of as a hit of the comparison drug, as I call it. The more we scroll and like, the more we get addicted and keep coming back for more, only lowing our self-esteem each time we double tap. And just as physical beauty isn’t the focus of Psalm 139 neither should Instagram be in our lives. You’re already beautiful, you don’t need a large number of likes from people you don’t know to confirm that. I definitely have fallen short and found myself captured by this imitation of beauty. This image and promise of being or feeling beautiful has also been whispered to girls and women all over the world. The promises of the beauty industry have led us to chase a false type of beauty that leaves us feeling degraded and less than enough.
Can we stand against that? To fully stand up to these false images and speak true beauty over our lives?
TRUE BEAUTY IS… knowing from where your worth comes. Knowing we are made, known, and loved by our Maker. It’s believing you were called to live a life of love and holiness. The result? We achieve beauty. True beauty will point us back to the original source – our Creator – and lead to the development of a beautiful heart and soul.
With this said, I want to be very sensitive toward the real struggles with self-esteem and body image, I have been there too, and you aren’t alone. However, despite the standards that society has set for us, God is still and always will be the greatest artist and sculptor. When He made our physical bodies, His work was detailed and intentionally crafted for a good thing within because when He was done, He called it very good. I am also not saying that we shouldn’t take care of our physical bodies because we have been given the gift to move and function with such purpose, but so often we get caught in the trap of comparison about our outward appearance or on a number vs someone else’s. We forget our true reason and purpose for existence – to partner with God to bring Heaven down to earth, to the hands and feet of Jesus, to share the good news.
I’ll ask you the same question God whispered to me last year? “If you try to be like them and they try to be like someone else and so on, guess how many gaps you are leaving in My plan and purpose for creation?”
So, if you walk away from this post with only one thing, I pray you believe that your purpose isn’t based on your appearance or number, but rather that you believe you are worthy of every wonder and blessing you have been provided because you were BORN ENOUGH, ARE ENOUGH AND ALWAYS WILL BE ENOUGH! xx
“Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees; man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7
Want more from Emma Brownawell? Follow her on Instagram @e_brownawell
AND be sure to catch her as an ambassador inside our app, LO sister!
by Gabby Rousse Gregory | Apr 27, 2021 | Life Advice, Testimonies
“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights.” (Habakkuk 3:17-19)
How often do we find ourselves searching for joy in the wrong places? Throughout growing up, I have fallen short many of times by doing this exact thing – being dependent on what the world says joy is versus choosing God’s joy. Whether that be searching for joy in how well my life may be going currently, financial stability, social media presence, being in a relationship or married, hoping every single person likes/approves of me…I have been there, sister!
“Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again – rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4)
We are consumed in a culture right now where the world dictates if you are HAPPY, that is all that matters in life! Whatever makes you get to that place of being content in who you are and what you want to do, do it. That is almost the “trend” that is being spoken on, and that mindset is so very misleading. John 16:33 states,
“I have told you these things, so that IN ME you may have peace. In this world, you WILL have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
We see here in John 16 that we will face times of tribulation, trouble, and suffering. But take heart, we have a Savior!
I feel as though people correlate the words happiness and joy together. Almost like we put them in the same category, but oh wow.., how polar opposite these actually are sister! Let’s break down the two words together: Happiness and Joy.
One definition of happiness is “Conditioned by and dependent upon what is ‘happening to me.’” This relates back to feelings of if people are treating you well, if things in life are going good, then I’m happy! This happiness is externally triggered, fleeting, and is based on emotions. This happiness flees in times of suffering.
Now, when we look towards the definition of joy and what defines it we have, “a quality of living that is not constrained by circumstances.” This joy is consistent/lasting. It is not dependent on Earthly circumstances. It meets our deepest needs. It is the peaceful assurance that God is in control of my life. This joy strengthens in times of suffering.
“I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” (John 15:11)
People. I have looked to people and have placed expectations on other to make me feel happy, seen, heard and appreciated. Possessions. I have allowed possessions to bring me a sense of joy in my life such as buying new shoes/clothes, makeup, a house, car, makeup, etc. Finances. I have let earthly money stress me out at times! You know what these all have in common? They will never be enough. When we choose to receive God’s joy, we are choosing nourishment for our soul to grow closer to Him. God is so gracious. He is always working for your good, sister. His peace is a promise, and his joy is readily available.
So, sweet sister, let us pursue God’s joy over Earthly happiness! I want to leave you with this scripture from Romans 15:13,
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
You are loved!
Gabby Rousse Gregory is a lover of Jesus, people, her hubby, and coffee! Gabby’s prayer is to help others grow into the woman that God has uniquely created them to be through fashion & faith?
Follow Gabby on Instagram @gabbyrousse
by Rachel Cruze | Apr 22, 2021 | Life Advice, Testimonies
Have you ever wondered what makes some people successful with money and others not so successful?
I love the old quote by Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” Our thoughts and behavior have way more to do with our success than anything else. And our attitude about money specifically is influenced a lot by the household we grew up in. This is true regardless of whether we grew up with one parent, two parents or relatives.
For example, my money story began during the hardest part of my parents’ money journey. I was born in April, and they filed for bankruptcy in September of the same year. They hit rock bottom and it took a good five years for them to climb out of that hole—right around the same time as my earliest memories.
I don’t remember the actual bankruptcy, but I do remember the aftermath and what became a new way of living with money for our family. I had a front-row seat to their open and honest conversations, and I watched as they budgeted what little money they had. We shopped at consignment stores and never went on vacation. My parents’ perspective on debt, budgeting and saving deeply impacted my own perspective.
Your story may not involve something as drastic as bankruptcy, but the way your parents handled money during your childhood made an impact on you whether you realize it or not. You may handle money a lot like your parents did when you were younger, or you may have chosen to do the exact opposite of what they did. Either way, your childhood household was your money classroom. Sometimes our money classroom leads to good habits and healthy views on money that help us—and some lessons we wish we could unlearn.
Money Is Communicated Emotionally and Verbally
In your money classroom, there were two ways you learned about money: what your parents communicated emotionally and what they communicated verbally.
You experienced the emotional side through the good or bad vibes you got about something even if you couldn’t pinpoint exactly why. When emotional communication is positive, we feel calm, and when it’s negative, we feel stressed. This type of communication is as powerful—if not more powerful—than verbal communication.
The verbal side is about what was (or wasn’t) said in our homes. Some households were verbally closed. Your parents didn’t talk about money in front of you. Maybe they didn’t talk about it at all. There was never any discussion around the dinner table about debt, budgeting or investing. Plus, you knew not to talk about some things, like money, religion, politics, sex—or all of the above—and so you never did. There was no discussion, no conflict, no give-and-take—just an absence of communication.
What Was Your Money Classroom?
Based on those different styles of communication, in my years of teaching personal finance, I’ve identified four money classrooms. I wrote about these classrooms in my book, Know Yourself, Know Your Money.
The four money classrooms are:
The Anxious Classroom
Emotionally stressed and verbally closed.
The Unstable Classroom
Emotionally stressed and verbally open.
The Unaware Classroom
Emotionally calm and verbally closed.
The Secure Classroom
Emotionally calm and verbally open.
Let’s dig into each of these classrooms.
The Anxious Classroom
If you grew up in the Anxious Classroom, you probably observed your parents’ money habits rather than hearing them discussed. You probably felt tension rather than hearing an argument. You might not have felt free to ask questions about money.
The tough reality of living in this environment is not just the lack of information; it’s also the heightened emotional state in the home—either in general or specifically around the topic of money. Because of that, you might have some fear around money: fear of talking about it, fear that you don’t know enough about it, or fear of it running out.
If it’s hard for you to face your finances, I want to encourage you to create a tactical, detailed monthly plan for your money. That’s all a budget is—it’s a plan—and it will remove the fear of the unknown. Be intentional and write out exactly where you want your money to go. Once you set your budget, it will tell you what you can and can’t do with every dollar—and give you the direction you need to move forward with confidence.
The Unstable Classroom
If you grew up in the Unstable Classroom, you’ll recognize it right away because you learned about money by seeing and hearing. In these households, money was a source of conflict. Parents argued about it between themselves, with the kids, with extended family, sometimes even with strangers. The arguments may have been public or private.
Today, you might feel fearful, anxious and unloved because you hear or heard “no” a lot from your parents (usually in a short-tempered way). Growing up in this household could’ve felt like an emotional roller coaster because the emotions would swing unexpectedly between the negative and positive.
What you need to know is that the topic of money doesn’t have to feel chaotic. You can learn how to talk about money in healthy, stable ways. The fact that you’re reading this article shows that you have the maturity to try to handle money the right way. And the Ramsey Baby Steps provide a plan for avoiding debt and building wealth while addressing money in a healthy, productive, and even exciting way!
The Unaware Classroom
If you grew up in the Unaware Classroom, you probably didn’t worry about money. Maybe you didn’t even think about money much at all. Ignorance is bliss for some things, but it’s definitely not true when it comes to money.
Being raised in a household where no one ever talked about money is very common, but to make wise decisions with money, you have to know the whole picture—the good, the bad and the ugly. If you were in the Unaware Classroom, everything seemed totally fine. You had no idea about the state of your parents’ money situation and didn’t have to worry about it. Money just wasn’t on your radar.
If money was never talked about, now’s the time to start talking about it. If you’ve never been taught how to do a proper budget, you don’t just intuitively know why it’s important and how it can help you achieve your goals. But don’t beat yourself up for what you don’t know, and definitely don’t just avoid your finances altogether. Creating a budget, saving for a rainy day, and planning for the future might feel really hard at first, but it’ll be worth it. Your money and your future self will thank you for it!
The Secure Classroom
If you grew up in the Secure Classroom, you grew up in the ideal money classroom. Emotionally calm and verbally open environments aren’t perfect, but they do reflect homes where parents practice healthy money habits and where kids feel the most safe and secure.
In this classroom, money doesn’t feel stressful because the parents know how to manage it well and are in control. Money was talked about often and openly. There was calm, intentional decision-making around money. There was mutual respect between your parents, and they were connected and on the same page. In a really perfect world, they may have even brought you in on some of the budgeting decisions or asked you to be a part of the discussion!
Your parents didn’t have to have a lot of money to be in the Secure Classroom, but they were managing what they had well. Don’t let their success allow you to slip into the belief that it was easy for them. Your standard of living won’t automatically be the same as your parents’ unless you’re as intentional and smart about it as they were!
Financial expert Larry Burkett used to say that couples spend the first five to seven years of their marriage trying to attain the same standard of living as their parents—only it took their parents 35 years to get there. Remember that your parents worked hard to get where they are, so it will take time for you to get there too.
You Can Change Your Financial Future
Now that you know where your money beliefs, fears and habits come from, you can do something about it. Money is a tool, and regardless of where you’ve been, you can use that tool to chase your dreams, to create opportunity, give generously, and change your family tree. I believe you can take control of your money and create a life you love.
If you want to learn more about your money tendencies and how to create habits to win with money, check out my new book, Know Yourself, Know Your Money.
Rachel Cruze is a two-time #1 national best-selling author, financial expert and host of The Rachel Cruze Show. Since 2010, Rachel has served at Ramsey Solutions, where she teaches people to avoid debt, save money, budget and how to win with money at any stage in life. She’s authored three best-selling books, including Love Your Life, Not Theirs and Smart Money Smart Kids, which she co-wrote with her father, Dave Ramsey. Her latest book Know Yourself, Know Your Money: Discover WHY You Handle Money the Way You Do and WHAT to Do About It will release in January 2021.
Follow Rachel on:
Twitter @RachelCruze
Instagram @rachelcruze
Facebook @Rachel Cruze
YouTube @Rachel Cruze
by Kat Harris | Apr 20, 2021 | Life Advice, Testimonies
We are marrying later, living longer, and more educated than we ever have been in the history of humanity. This is great and all for the advancement of humankind, but real talk: waiting sometimes decades longer for sex than we thought we’d wait is a STRUGGLE. It’s one thing to be 15 years old and commit to abstinence until marriage.
So what happens when we’re 25, 30, 35, 40…and still single—Still longing for marriage, intimacy, connection, and let’s just say it: sex?
What do we do with our sexuality and desire as single people?
First things first: we have to give each other the permission to talk about it. Normalizing healthy dialogues around sex and desire and removing the stigma and taboo and capital ‘A’ awkwardness that can come with such topics, especially in the church, is so important.
Next, be curious about the sexual scripts you were given both from culture and the church. What do you believe about your sexuality and desire? Where did those messages come from? Are they rooted in fear and shame, or love, hope and freedom? Remember the invitation of Jesus is not one of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.
We live in a culture that says if it itches, scratch it. And don’t we all kinda want what we want when we want it, and we want it piping hot—like yesterday? Jesus help us if our takeout is late, or worse if our delivery is wrong! Underneath this pursuit of instant gratification, there’s a core message: I am the sum of my desire.
And in the wakes of a loud, albeit highly damaging shame and rule based purity culture, leaders seem pretty quiet about the whole sex thing. Often the message is to shut down your sexual desire until that one allusive day when a ring slides on your finger. Then, in an instant a flip is switched and voila…it’s on!
In efforts to promote abstinence, unfortunately many of the messages we receive from the church are one-dimensional. The reality is we are not light switches that turn off and on, we’re humans.
And ironically, in trying not to make sex and desire a thing, they’ve made it the thing. I mean if someone tells you not to think of a purple hippo—what are you going to think about? A purple hippo; it’s the oldest trick in the books.
So, culture says: I am my desire.
The church says: shut down your desire.
But what does Jesus have to say?
We see scandalous and provocative accounts of Jesus engaging with women, children, and those most ostracized in society. Jesus was unafraid to challenge societal and religious norms to establish his grace and kindness to a world longing for restoration. Throughout the Sermon on the Mount Jesus repeatedly said, you may have heard it said…but I say to you. In essence Jesus was saying culture may do it one way, the church another, but I have a different way for you.
So what is the way of Jesus when it comes to sexuality and desire?
In the Genesis creation account we see this rhythm of God speaking life into existence and calling it good. But then we get to the climax of creation when God creates humanity in His image and likeness. Distinct from all else in Creation, humans are made to be a reflection of God. The phrase for this concept is imago dei. Continuing the distinction of humanity God then says humanity isn’t just good, but very good.
The text doesn’t say our spiritual life is good, and the body sinful. Nor does the Scripture say your mind is good, but your foot is bad. The text simply says humans are made to reflect the image of God and that we are very good. This means God created humans with a holistic vision as opposed to compartmentally.
In fact, this means that our sexuality and desire are good and God designed. There’s even something about our sexuality and desire that reflect the God image and God’s goodness.
The Jesus way is one that says God created humans holistically in his image and likeness and in light of that, we are very good. Our sexuality and desire is an integral part of what it means to be human, but it is not the main thing. We aren’t our desire, nor the absence of it. We are God reflectors.
The entire conversation surrounding desire and sexuality shifts completely when we challenge the starting point of what it means to be human.
We are not our desire.
Nor the compartmentalized absence of it.
We are imago dei.
That is who we are.
This means that there has to be ways to connect to our sexuality and desire in ways that are holistic, God honoring, and shame free.
Can we stop and acknowledge this is really good news for single people? We don’t have to compartmentalize our sexual desire for one day when, but can find holy integrated ways to stay connected to this integral part of what it means to be human while remaining true to our values and a biblical vision for sex.
With you on the journey,
Kat Harris
From Bible major to editorial photographer to educator to host of The Refined Collective Podcast, and now author, Kat Harris never shied away from doing things her way. Through her online platform, The Refined Woman, her vision is to be a voice of truth and hope while equipping women to walk in wholeness, worthiness, and freedom. She fiercely loves her big Texas family, and is indebted to her faithful community scattered all over the world. She believes in the power of story, and that every opportunity is an opportunity for growth if we choose it to be. She currently lives in Austin, Texas.
by Kassidy Brougham | Apr 15, 2021 | Life Advice, Testimonies |
Let me be honest with you guys, when I hear the word scale or weight my stomach drops. As a college cheerleader for two years I put my worth in the number on the scale and was always discouraged.
I grew up as a competitive cheerleader and quickly realized my big dream in life was to be a college cheerleader. I made it onto a nationally ranked cheer team in Texas at Navarro College. What I thought were going to be my dream years quickly turned my world upside down. Within a span of two years I got hurt, had surgery, was fighting an eating disorder, made many mistakes, got diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder, and had to walk away from cheer due to health issues. I was so lost. I was so broken. But God redeems. God heals. God saves.
Have you ever thought “If only this one thing could change about me then I would be happy?” For me it was if only I was skinnier then I would be happy, I would be enough. If I could drop 5 lbs, I would be worthy. Even if I lost those 5 lbs, I know I would’ve found something else I wanted to change.
Now think, have you ever looked at God’s creation such as nature and thought “Wow that’s beautiful.” The sunsets, the mountains, the flowers, the clouds, and the trees – all God’s creation. Well guess what, YOU are God’s creation too so love and appreciate the beautiful masterpiece God knitted together.
There were many steps I took in order to allow God to help me back on my feet. Here’s a few that might help someone out there struggling like I was:
1. Surrender it all to God. We are not in control (thank goodness) so give it up. Whether it be an eating disorder, comparison issues, a break up, shame, an addiction, an illness, depression, or body image issues I challenge you to give it up, surrender. Stop trying to carry a burden you aren’t made to carry alone. Jeremiah 10:23 clearly states that we are not in control, the Lord is to guide us. “LORD, I know that people’s lives are not their own; it is not for them to direct their steps…”
2. Seek the right help. When I was facing my eating disorder the first people I told replied in a way that I felt like it was not a big deal. It was not until I told a mentor and my mom that they helped me get the help I needed. It is not wrong to ask for help, just make sure you’re asking for help from the right people. Matthew 7:7 says “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” In this context let’s focus on seek and you will find, seek the right support and God will bring someone into your life that can help. I personally sought out a Christian counselor and a mentor who I met with (sometimes virtually) multiple times a week.
3. Don’t hold onto the past. I used to keep clothes from freshman year of high school in hopes I would get that small again. I bought clothes that were too small in hopes that I would fit into them later. When I surrendered all things to God I felt convicted of this. I was idolizing what I used to be, and what I used to look like. I got rid of all the clothes that did not fit me and began to buy clothes that were true to my body and that were more modest. This not only brought a renewal of my mind but I wasn’t “squeezing” into clothes everyday so I was more confident. This was a way for me to forget the past, to move forward, and to begin to love who God made me to be and give myself grace. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”
4. Nourish and cherish your body. Food is to nourish your body. Working out is to celebrate all your body can do. Both are to keep the body God created strong and healthy. They are not to punish your body. There is no need to restrict yourself from foods you love or punish yourself by “burning it off” afterwards. I used to go on diets as a disguise to simply eat less, not healthy mentally or physically. Focus on healthy – what is fuel for your body? What movement helps you feel better? What do you enjoy? Focus on what you can do and what you can fuel your body with, not what you can’t.
5. Surround yourself with the right people. Not just in person, but online too. Who do you follow? Be intentional about who you seek out and who you let in. I had to go outside my comfort zone and find a church I knew no one at, get to know people and sign up for a small group with other college aged girls. I found some great Godly people in my same town that I could turn to when I was having a bad day or week. Make a list of the top 10 people you spend the most time with, then put a + or a – next to their name based on if they are a positive influence in your life or not. Always strive to have more positives than negatives. If someone’s post or story shows up and you start to compare or get down on yourself, you might want to stop following them. Follow people you strive to be as a person and as a Christian, as a girlfriend or someday wife. Looks will come and go, character is lifelong.
6. Remember who your Creator is. You are created in God’s image. When we complain and compare it’s as though we are telling God that he didn’t do a good job. You are precious in His sight. When you feel fear, lean into His faith. When you feel weak, grab onto His strength. When you feel resentment or jealousy, draw from His love. His grace is sufficient when we can’t seem to find any. “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
7. Affirmations. “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” Luke 10:27
Let’s focus on the end of this verse, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” In order to love others well, we must first love ourselves the way God intended. What we believe we become, so it starts with what we believe about ourselves. In order to change what you believe about yourself, you have to start telling yourself truth. The only truth we can rely on is the word of God. We talk to ourselves more than anyone else does on any given day. What we repeatedly tell ourselves becomes a belief, even if it isn’t true. I love to write out positive statements or promises from God about who I am and who I am capable of being through Christ. Put them on your phone, on your mirror, on your desk, in your car or wherever you look frequently. Be intentional with your words and thoughts, over and over and with time, your outlook will change. Once your outlook changes, your outcomes can too.
God saved you by His grace. Read and memorize Ephesians 2:8-10. There is nothing you can do or change to make you more worthy of God’s grace right now. God created each of us uniquely so we can play a unique role in His plan. If you find yourself starving for joy like I was, start with some of these steps above and most importantly focus on finding things to be grateful for each and every day.
I am perfectly imperfect (and still fighting through the negative thoughts and attacks) and still fully accepted by God. You are perfectly imperfect, fully accepted, loved, and cherished by your heavenly Father. Keep showing up, keep fighting, and don’t ever forget that YOU are loved!
Stay original my sisters.
Kassidy cheered in college at Navarro College and is now a personal trainer while using fitness to lead others to Christ. She strives to encourage women to be confident in who God created them to be. She lives in Arizona currently and loves cooking, working out, flowers, and boba!
Follow Kassidy on Instagram @kassidywarnol
by Tayler Jordan | Apr 13, 2021 | Life Advice, Testimonies |
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how as women we naturally crave security. It is a cry from the depths of who we are, our very nature, whether we have put words to it or not.
For you, maybe one of these lies resonates:
I’m single, a boyfriend will make me feel whole.
Well now I’m dating, but a ring on my finger would solve all the problems and erase all these ever recurring doubt. If I could JUST lose those five, ten, okay maybe 20 pounds THEN, then I would be happy. And if I just had a different job I would definitely worry much less.
And if… If I just… If I maybe… If I had… If I could FINALLY…*insert missing item* that SURELY will erase the insecurity, heal the wound, or abate the loneliness. If…what a pesky word.
Here’s a different use of if: if you only knew, the enemy is constantly, ceaselessly and continuously attempting to lure us into reaching for things that satisfy knowing all the while as soon as we have those things… ultimately true satisfaction will once again seemingly be just out of reach. Right behind the next “if”. His desire is multi-dimensional, but one dimension I’ll choose to focus on today for the sake of time, is His desire to distract us and mislead us. Everything, (underline everything) in this life is fickle. It’s fleeting. A drop in the eternal bucket, a wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor whipped in the wind. Yet so much of what we spend our life building, clinging to or worrying about can be gone in the blink of an eye. GONE. Just gone. Here one day and gone the very next, yet… we think attaining, one (or all) of these fickle fading temporary sources of security will somehow one day fill that void, thwart the reaching, ease the longing, soothe the aching, or cure the seeking for security. So knowing it’s all gonna leave at some point can then someone tell me how can our security come from any one thing thing or person?
THE TRUTH IS: *spoiler alert* it can’t. Whoa, I bet you didn’t see that one coming. Before I give you the other spoiler (hint: It can only come from God, big wow didn’t see that coming did you) let me explain the psychological dysfunction trap we’ve all fallen prey to. It’s the enemy’s favorite trap, or at least one of them. It’s called the principle of transference.
All our deepest needs: purpose, identity, value, destiny and wait for it…security, all must have a source. They are not self originating. If they were we would innately be in need of nothing, and if you’re anything like me, girl, we are for SURE in need. We need all 5 of those things, but we are in search of where to find them. So instead of getting them ALL from the source, our sweet King Jesus & His eternal scriptures…. we turn to men, maybe money double taps which produce little red hearts on our screen or some semblance of status on an app that didn’t even exist 10 years ago. Those just won’t do. Why? Because the weight of security or purpose is GREAT, and when we place that weight on a human being or earthly thing,
It will collapse. Don’t believe me? Try this.
Go up to your boyfriend/husband or even your friend and tell them your purpose, your security, your value, your destiny and your identity…it comes from them. WOAH. Heavy. Yeah let me know how that goes, they’ll probably start running before you get to the third item….but sweetheart, don’t we do this anyway? Sure maybe we don’t say it out loud, but when we get rejected, why does it cause us to question everything? When we fail why do we feel a little less worthwhile or beautiful? Why? I’ll tell you, even though I already gave you the spoiler alert….it’s because if we let the devil distract us, we will lose sight of the TRUE, SINGULAR, PREEMINENT AND EVERLASTING source. Yaweh.
HE and He alone, is our security. And our security comes from truly understanding the devoted love of our Creator. It depends on HIS faithfulness, not ours. The one thing that never changes is God and His love for us. It’s uncomplicated. Living loved means we have to really know who our Daddy is. Oh how He loves you sister.
Understanding God’s love for us is the answer to security and this is something we have to work at being rooted in each and every day by mediating on it constantly. There are six different tools that have helped me personally and I’m excited to share them with you!
1. Rewrite scripture over your life.
Journaling Ephesians 3:16-21 is a great place to start! Try rewriting it like this or in your own way:
Father, strengthen me with power in my inner being through Your Spirit. Dwell in my heart. I want to be rooted and firmly established in Your love. May I truly understand the depth of your love for I believe to know Your love that surpasses all understanding is the answer to being filled with Your fullness. I know that anything outside of You will always leave me empty. I know You are able to do above and beyond all that I can ask or think according to Your power at work in me, and to You be the glory forever and ever.
2. Ask Him to keep revealing His love to you.
We are surrounded by God’s love every minute of every day, don’t believe it? Breathe in. That breath you just took, that was a gift given, simply because Jesus thought the earth and his life would be sweeter with you in it. In Jeremiah 29:13, the Lord says, “You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.” Simply ask Him to open the eyes of your heart to see what He wants you to see.
3. Ask Him what He loves about you.
One of my friends shared with me that she often asks the Lord to show her what He loves about her before she starts her quiet time and it inspired me to do the same! God is intimate and personal. Give Him the opportunity to show you how detailed He is.
4. Write the alphabet of who God says you are
On a piece of paper write out the letters A-Z down the side. As you spend time with the Lord start filling in the page with words that describe who God says you are. For example, beside letter B, you can write “beloved”. I do this in the back of every new journal I start and fill it in as I spend time reading the Bible and come across new words.
5. Sticky note affirmations
I am a HUGE fan of this one. You can stick them to your mirrors, the dashboard, or even the computer screen! One of my favorites is: “I am peaceful, prosperous, stable and secure, healthy and healed.”
6. Gratitude journaling
This is basically like keeping track of God’s resume! Writing down what you’re thankful for each day and then looking back at all the moments God has shown up for you is the most comforting thing you may ever experience!
If insecurity is knocking at your door today, I want you to know you are not alone. I encourage you to choose at least one of these tools to implement into your everyday life. I’m confident you will be amazed at how much more anchored, rooted and secure you’ll become day after day as you start to understand God’s devoted love for you, sister.
Tayler is a personal trainer and founder of a mentorship program that integrates faith, fitness and well-being. Her purpose is to help women become TRULY fit by helping them understand who they are, Whose they are and that radiant beauty starts from within. She recently moved to Nashville, TN where she is fully embracing new friends, coffee shops, farmer’s markets and the best views for sunrises and sunsets.
Follow Tayler on instagram @taylerjordanfit
