I recently had the absolute honor of speaking to the girls rushing at the University of Alabama. I considered it a great joy to be asked to do that. If you don’t know what rushing is, it is a series of social events to connect sorority groups with the freshman girls on campus who want to pledge their group. It was a little crazy to be in a room full of excited, beautiful girls whose nerves you could feel, the day before they would find out if they made it in a sorority or not.
Due to respecting the rules of recruitment, I was not allowed to speak on or mention my faith. You may be thinking… how are you going to speak to college sorority girls when you don’t even go to college and have never been in a sorority and how would you give a message where faith is not mentioned?!?! Valid. If you weren’t thinking that, trust me, it IS what I was thinking! I thought and I thought and I thought about what I could say and then, it hit me – the thing I literally talk about most and can totally relate to is…sisterhood. Isn’t that what a sorority is? Well, it turns out, not always. BUT that is what it can be at its best. Let me explain…
I decided that, since I cannot use my bible and I do not know all the right terms, I would get my definitions and lingo from none other than our, us millennials, very own, Urban Dictionary. So, I looked up the “Urban Dictionary” definition of sisterhood and there were three very nice definitions. This is what the top definition with 197 likes says–
Sisterhood: A bond between two or more girls, not always related by blood. They always tell the truth, honor each other, and love each other like sisters.
Sweet huh?
Okay, now let’s look up the definition of sorority…
Let me start by saying I took one for the team and highly suggest no one look this word up. Let’s just say it was not friendly. Out of the seven explicit definitions listed with thousands of likes, this was the top one –
Sorority: A group of girls who have come together because they look similar, and are now kind of friends.
BUT WAIT! I thought sorority was sisterhood and these could not be more different… Who’s confused? ?♀️
The draw for people to join a sorority is a desire for sisterhood, yet these definitions are so opposite. I looked at both definitions, studied them, and thought to myself, “There are some core differences here.”
Here is what you need to know… sisters and sisterhood have different definitions as well. You can have a room full of sisters and see no sisterhood – that goes for sorority girls, friends who call themselves sisters, and even real family sisters. There is one stand-out difference that I see in the definitions and that is what I want to focus on. It is this: the foundation of one is built on identity and the foundation of the other is built on image. What we all have to understand is it is our identity that makes us qualify for sisterhood, not our image. And that goes for your own physical sisters too.
One time when I was in about fifth grade, my best friend and I were playing a game that basically went something like this, we owned the castle and Bella was our servant. (I know I know… not the best big sister move.) After one of the many requests we had made of Bella, our servant, she came storming into my grandma’s bathroom (the home of our castle) with the cutest, yet sassy as can be (with kindergarten girl voice whose r’s sounded like w’s) and said, “I’m not your sewrvant.” As she stared me down, you could almost hear the old western music in the background as we both thought of what was going to be our next move. Bella famously won the battle with these words, “I AM A GIWRL AND I AM OUT OF THIS WOWRLD.” She closed the scene with a power walk.
The thing is sisters do not like to be and should not be treated by sisters for anything less than a sister. True sisterhood is not a system to tell you what you have to do – it’s a source to remind you of who you are.
Here is a pic of me and my little sister, Bella. Much like a group of sorority girls, we live in the same house. We also share the same last name. We even we look alike. We are Robertsons, born from the same parents. She is my sister. While that is what make us sisters, it is not what makes up our sisterhood. Our sisterhood comes from our genuine friendship. It comes from her love, honesty, and loyalty to me and mine to her.
This is my other sister, Rebecca. Our background is very different. It’s not the same as the one I share with Bella. We do not look alike. While some of it was, not all of our childhood was spent in the same house. We don’t live in the same house now. We don’t have the same last name. We didn’t grow up with the same set of rules. Our parents decided that Rebecca would be a part of our family. She is my sister. But, just because she is identified as my sister by my family and others, our sisterhood is made of the friendship we have built. Rebecca, Bella, and I have an amazing sisterhood that is not built on an image. It is built on the individual identity of who we all are and the friendship we have all built.
I want us to look at the differences between the words identity and image.
By definition – Identity: the fact of being who or what a person or thing is.
By definition – Image: the general impression that a person, organization, or product presents to the public.
Identity is how you were created. Image is what you have created.
Identity is who you were, are, and always will be. Image is what you want people to see.
Identity allows you to rest. Image causes you to strive.
Identity is unique to an individual. Image can be shared.
Identity is forever. Image is temporary.
There is a clear winnerin the wrestle of identity and image.
I know you hear all the time that your image will fade and maybe some of you are thinking, “Yes, in about 30 years or so,” but I am not referring to years down the road. I am thinking about tonight… when the makeup come off, there is no filter, you log off the app, and you can’t create your real life caption.
Here’s the problem. Many people try to base their confidence, their friendship and sisterhood, in something that is always changing. Do you know that the definition of confidence is the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something, a firm trust? So why do we try to lay down a foundation of sisterhood on something that we cannot keep up with, something we can’t rely on?
Building a foundation of sisterhood on an image is about as long-lasting and effective as the foundation in your make-up drawer. You use it and you do look great for a while. It even covers your flaws and you seem to shine with it on. But, soon it starts to break down, wear off, and ultimately it comes off completely. This type of foundation covers things, but it does not change things. It is only capable of changing the APPEARANCE of your skin; it does not change the actual color or clarity of your skin. When you take your makeup off at night, the only thing that should change is the color and clarity of your skins; it should not affect the true colors of who you are. If you only work at letting your image change your identity, ultimately your true colors will soon shine through. The image you project to others should only serve to enhance who you really are, not change it.
When I was sharing with the girls in Alabama, I took off my makeup as I was speaking. I asked them, “Does seeing me with no make-up change the way that you see me?” They all said no. Even though removing my make-up changed WHAT the girls saw, it did not change WHO they saw. I went on to tell the girls that the good news is I didn’t come for them to only see a part of me; I wanted them to really see me.
You see, if I went to speak that night with a face full of a makeup and cute clothes and I just stared at these girls without saying a word for 45 minutes they would of left thinking it was the weirdest 45 minutes. It would have been wasted time just looking at each other with no lasting impact. I did not come to give them my image. By just giving them my image I was giving them no relationship, but when I shared with them my identity, my heart, my words, that is what created a bond. Our image is not only temporary for us to see but is temporary for those who see, but a word to the heart can last forever. You want to create impact, friendship, sisterhood? Give them world more than your image.
When I give the analogy of the foundation it seems cute and relatable because us girls relate to the feeling of our foundation cracking, wearing, smudging, and coming off. The reality of life though is that those cracks, wears and smudges are not so funny; when we try to make our image our identity and we feel it start to fade, that is when the anxiety rises, the eating disorders start, the perfectionism is unattainable, the comparison is out the roof, and mental illness begins to become a phrase we are all too used to hearing because we can not sustain what we have created. The truth is I have talked to many girls, friends, sisters, and sorority girls who relate to these words and this pain and it breaks my heart.
So how do we redeem sisterhood? Not just in sororities, but all over – in friendships, schools, churches, work and families?
I was watching sisterhood of the traveling pants the other night, and leave it to that movie to bring a little hope. It is a popular movie so you might have seen it. I will share with you the opening part that jumped out at me. These four girls are all best friends, practically sisters who have formed a sisterhood. They are about to split ways after school, so during their last days together they go thrift-store shopping. One of them tries on a pair of jeans and all of the girls freak out at how awesome she looks in them and how perfectly they fit. Another one of the friends decides to try them on too, and once again, they all freak out because they look great on her too. How weird it is that both girls fit perfectly in the same pair of jeans? All four of the girls end up trying on the same pair of jeans and GUESS WHAT ??? THEY LOOK AMAZING AND FIT EACH ONE PERFECTLY?!?! MAGIC!
Ultimately, they get the jeans and decide to share them and build a sisterhood around the magic of the jeans. “Since every sisterhood has rules,” they state, they all sat in a circle and made rules. Here are some of the rules:
You must never use the word fat while wearing the pants.
You must never let a boy take off the pants.
You must not pick your nose while wearing the pants. You may, however, scratch casually at your nostril.
You must document the best things that happened while wearing these pants. On the left leg write the most exciting places you have been while wearing the pants. On the right leg, write the most important thing that happened to you while wearing the pants.
You must write your sisters no matter how much fun you’re having without them.
Love your sisters. Love yourself.
*if you do not follow these rules then they lose their magic*
I want you to see that sisterhood is meant to be like those jeans. It is not something people have to strive for or work to fit into; it is something that fits perfectly because of who they are. These girls were not in competition with each other over these jeans. They celebrated each other over the jeans because they fit everyone perfectly. We all fit sisterhood.Look back at the original definition I shared with you about sisterhood: Abond between two or more girls, not always related by blood that tell the truth, honor each other, and love each other like sisters. Individual girls choosing TRUTH – HONOR – LOVE. If you take any of this away, the power of sisterhood loses its magic.
All of us sisters who crave sisterhood and look for it in all of these places are just girls who want to be accepted, included, celebrated, loved, and just need a friend we can count on. And, we cannot forget, although we all look for this and desire this, we actually can create this! Notice the rules they made were FOR ONE ANOTHER. They were things to form bonds, build each other up, and deepen relationship. We create the sisterhood around us and bring the magic by the rules we create and follow. Let’s bring the magic of sisterhood back. We all want it – let’s create it.
You are loved. If I want you to take anything away from the words on this page it is that you are loved, you are seen, and you are cared for. Jesus loves you to the point of agony on the cross. But I don’t just want you to know that- I want you to live that. Live as if you are loved beyond measure.
I spent this summer serving at Camp Ch-Yo-Ca in Louisiana. Let me tell y’all: the Lord really is able to do more than we can ask for or imagine! Whether through the testimonies created, relationships built, growth of camp itself, or simply within my own heart He exceeded any and every expectation. It was more trying than I anticipated. Some days I felt spiritually, emotionally, and physically exhausted. Yet the Lord held me and rejoiced over me, becoming the strength to every weakness I identified. Other days- and there were lots of them- overflowed with His goodness and abundance, providing mere glimpses to the glory of His Kingdom.
Middle school week intimidated me more than anything but of course the Lord had something bigger for me than I knew, and I’m still unpacking it all. The Holy Spirit was so evident within the friendships the girls in my cabin developed and in the ways they opened up to us counselors. Girls that I viewed as beautiful, chosen, and set-apart world changers shared with us the many lies that they believed about themselves. God penetrated my heart that week and broke it for what broke His.
My co-counselor, Ally, and I made anklets for each of our campers that say the word “loved.” We told them that from camp on, the only identity they were allowed to walk in is loved. If they only began to fathom how wide and long, how high and deep the Lord’s love is for them, their whole selves would transform. They would no longer live from any fear or anxiety. Growing in a relationship with Christ, the outpouring of His love into their souls would leave nothing but an overflow of that same rich love to share with others.
A few years ago I heard that the majority of our problems come from not knowing how loved we are. I saw this manifested in the lives of those around me and found such an urgency in proclaiming this identity over as many as I could reach. Who He is changes things. I was so excited about that that I read and prayed not to fill myself, but with the intent to share. The overflow is good but I had the wrong approach. I didn’t allow the Truth to penetrate deep within my own soul first.
I’m an enneagram type six (if you don’t know anything about the enneagram, like me a few months ago, work at a summer camp and you will soon enough). Type sixes are known for being loyal and hard-working, actively championing those around them. News to me, however, is that we also “test the attitudes of others towards (us)” in order to “fight against anxiety and insecurity.”
Prior to this summer I would have never considered myself a particularly insecure person. Sure, I regularly identified others as prettier or funnier than me, but I didn’t recognize that as holding me back, confident enough in who the Lord made me to be as soon as I felt invited. Arriving to camp, however, I became overly aware of how self-conscious I was being. There were many delayed friendships because I assumed individuals wouldn’t want to be friends with me or wouldn’t want me to infiltrate their group. Through this I saw ties to my experience at college and how I assume others view me.
One late night in the kitchen a few counselors had congregated to sneak some leftovers from Sadie’s birthday. Talking with one of my newer friends I said something subconsciously searching for reassurance of our friendship. He called out my stronghold right then and it has led to every single realization that creates this post.
Camp Ch-Yo-Ca is an incredibly special place filled with beaming, brilliant souls. After opening myself up to friendship with this family, never in my life have I felt so loved. Never in my life have I felt so seen or encouraged or inspired to be who He made me to be. They love deep and vibrantly, causing the sunlight to reach the deepest parts of your heart.
I spent the first few weeks shrinking back in timidity and insecurity, absent-mindely obeying the fear of rejection. I kept waiting for people to invite me in, as if they were examining me for their groups. What I forgot is that I already had the part! Jesus wanted me to show up already being the light He created me to be, rather than waiting for the permission and affirmation of others.
I listened to a podcast the other day that said Christianity, at its core, is so simple, only asking the question, “Will you allow yourself to be loved by God?”
Seeing how I had been so hesitant to allow fellow counselors to love me, I came to the tough realization that I had never allowed the truth of the Lord’s love to manifest within me.
For whatever reason, I always kept Jesus at an elbow’s distance. I saw Him beside me, knew a lot about Him, listened to Him on the Mount, and proclaimed His miracles and words to others. Yet, there was a personal way He wanted to enter my heart that I had not actively allowed.
His love is big. Right now, though, He is showing me its ability to be small and condense, not abstract and greater than my ability to receive, but personal and intimate, flowing through every crack of my broken heart (if you’ve never heard ‘Pieces’ by Bethel, now would be the time to listen).
I’m not a super emotional person so I’m still working through how to actively receive this love each morning. That’s something super cool about His love though – it’s not a feeling, it’s an absolute Truth.
“Then the mother of Zebedee’s sons came to Jesus with her sons and, kneeling down, asked a favor of him. ‘What is it you want?’ he asked. She said, ‘Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom.’” -Matthew 20:20-21
I originally read that as a bold request, irritated by how upfront she is in asking for what she wants. But I wondered why my heart froze, becoming shy and timid before asking Him to do the same for me. That questioned scared my heart because after working up the courage to ask Him, knowing His answer is ‘yes,’ I realized that I wouldn’t allow myself to sit there. I wouldn’t accept His love and take the seat. I would proudly stand up and shy away at His graciousness, saying someone else could take it, as if they were in more need of sitting right next to the Father of all generations at His great banquet than I was.
So now I wake up each morning and humble myself enough to take a seat at His table.
Still stumbling to accept His love and let Him in the walls that I don’t know exist, I know to slow down in my relationship with Him. Just to sit at His feet and let Him pour into me- not for the reason of me being able to do something with it but simply because that is what Jesus came on this earth to be able to do, to love me.
Fear doesn’t stand a chance when we stand in His perfect love. Our anxieties and insecurities have no place swimming in His love. Living into the identity He has for us creates a lightness. It takes away the burden and takes away striving. It invites us to discover who we are.
So not just you but finally including myself as well, together with all God’s holy people- we are loved.
Meagan Harkins is from Oviedo, FL and currently studies Journalism at Ole Miss, with hopes to document stories about what Christ is doing in the hearts of others. She loves Christmas trees, road trips with her family, and the color green.
My son was born in Africa. We adopted him from Rwanda when he was four years old. And that first year he spent a lot of energy worried we were not going to keep him. If he got in trouble, he would often ask,
“Are you going to send me back to Africa?”
Poor guy. Our hearts broke for him.
But the truth is we live that way sometimes too–wondering if God is finished with us.
While you are fearless and full of passion, there’s also something I’ve noticed about this generation that I’m not sure is true of any others. You are under extreme pressure to perform.
You are told that the number of likes and subscribers and DMs matters more than your identity. More than ever, you are facing anxiety and depression and suicidal thoughts. Every time you think you might have finally reached a finish line, it moves.
And it’s EXHAUSTING!
The enemy is real and he wants nothing more than to convince you that you are insignificant. He would rather distract you with Instagram and numb you with Netflix than for you to believe that you have worth and purpose. While I cannot change your workload or your parents’ expectations or the failures you have faced, what I can do is tell you the truth. And remind you of who God says you are.
One of my favorite people in the Bible was Peter. He was just this loud, ambitious guy who loved Jesus. As Jesus’ death approaches, we see Him with his disciples, washing their feet and He tells Peter that Peter is going to deny knowing Him. Of course, this sounds crazy to Peter at the time:
Peter said to him, “Lord, why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.” Jesus answered, “Will you lay down your life for me? Truly, truly, I say to you, the rooster will not crow till you have denied me three times. (John 13: 37-38)
What Jesus said was true. After Jesus was arrested, Peter was asked three different times if he was one of Jesus’ disciples and all three times he said, “I am not.” The same Peter who just earlier said he would lay down his life for Jesus no longer claimed to know him. Talk about a big fail.
But listen to this.
We fast forward a bit to see Jesus has died and three days later has walked out of the grave (hallelujah!). This is in his final days on earth before He ascends to heaven. He’s yet to see Peter, so as some of the disciples are out fishing, Jesus heads their way:
Just as day was breaking, Jesus stood on the shore; yet the disciples did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to them, “Children, do you have any fish?” They answered him, “No.” He said to them, “Cast the net on the right side of the boat, and you will find some.” So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in, because of the quantity of fish. That disciple whom Jesus loved therefore said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment, for he was stripped for work, and threw himself into the sea. (John 21: 4-7)
When Peter reached Jesus was he scolded? Do you think Jesus ignored him and told him he was done with loving Peter?
You want to know what Jesus said? “Come and have breakfast.” Jesus invited him and the other disciples to have breakfast! He made a fire, cooked the fish and got bread. Why? Because He likes them. That’s our God.
Do you think you’ve messed up so badly or not measured up enough for God to not want you? Think again. One of his closest people denied knowing Him not once, but three times and Jesus did not walk away. Romans 8:1 tells us, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
So this weight you are carrying, this pressure you are giving into…give it to God and let it go. Rest in the fact that God not only loves you, He likes you.
My son, Cooper, has been home for six years now and you know what? He’s quit asking if we’re going to send him back to Africa and instead just comes downstairs every morning and asks what’s for breakfast. Because he knows he’s loved!
I just recently spoke to some of the girls at Baylor University about this very topic. We talked about Romans 8:1 and why we feel so tied down and locked up by our sin. When the Bible tells us we are free and there is no condemnation in Jesus, then why don’t we live like we’re free? I challenged the girls to just shout out what they’re struggling with and bring into light the dark hell they have been dealing with, and, to my surprise, one by one they started standing up. In the middle of their campus, they stood and shouted one struggle after another.
This went on for minutes and I listened, just asking God what He wanted to tell them next. So we prayed. I had them get in groups and pray over each thing that’s kept them from being free. This is when one of the students came up to me and said, “I think you should tell them this no longer has power over them.” Instead, I told her, “You tell them.”
I gave her the mic and she shouted, “Dishonesty no longer has power over me! Dishonesty no longer has power over Baylor’s campus!” Lines began to form around her and one by one students took a turn shouting in the mic that their sin no longer had power over them. They stayed there for hours. Actually, they stayed there for days! Night after night the students decided to keep meeting there to worship and pray, because they knew they wanted God and they were not afraid to live like it. I have never seen anything like it!
God can make that kind of breakthrough happen anywhere and with anyone, but you know who He chose that night?
College students.
I believe in your generation and I believe you are going to be the ones to help spur on the rest of us.
So this shame? This fear? This doubt?
It no longer has power over you!
Jennie is an Arkansas native but Texan forever, Bible teacher, author, and the founder and visionary of IF:Gathering. A passionate leader following God’s call on her life to catalyze this generation to live what they believe, Jennie is the author of Restless, Anything, and her most recent book, Nothing to Prove. Her Bible studies include Stuck, Chase, Restless, and Proven. Jennie has a master’s in biblical studies from Dallas Theological Seminary and lives in Dallas, Texas, with her husband and teammate, Zac, and their four children, Conner, Kate, Caroline, and Cooper.
Last week, the LO Team set out on a mission: to visit college campuses and bring hope and truth to students. Our team loaded up an RV full of snacks & cozy blankets with big hearts, anticipating what God was going to do.
We had the privilege to interact with thousands of students, on different campuses, from different cultures and backgrounds. Yet at each stop, we heard so many similar themes.
We want to give you a rundown of the 10 takeaways from our week on the road! Although it’s hard to narrow down all our experiences, here are few thoughts from our time on campuses.
1. Students face so much pressure.
The world places so much pressure on us, especially students. There’s so much stress involved with academics, body image, campus involvement, internships, social hangs, summer plans, and more. It’s as if you’re so busy striving for the bright future that you can’t handle what is right in front of you. This was evident among ALL students we encountered at the campuses we visited. So how do we deal with it? When you stop believing that the world doesn’t dictate your worth, you might be able to breathe again. Let’s say this again: The world doesn’t dictate your worth, God does. He calls you worthy, so there’s no need to strive. He calls you loved, so there’s no need to sleep around. He calls you beautiful, so there’s no need to diet for attention. He calls you unique, so there’s no need to compare to who is around you. Lean into the truths of God before you let the world place the burdens of worth on you.
2. Mental health is a major topic of conversation among college students.
Our team was privileged to gather with a handful of student leaders each day and hear what was happening on their campus. Sitting with them, over a cup of coffee, each day we heard the same cry from students: mental illness is running rampant on our campus. Whether it was the pain of someone sharing their own journey in this area or they have friends who are struggling with it, it seemed that nearly every student was impacted by this topic in some capacity.
As a team, we were broken over hearing these stories, yet we were so encouraged to find that many were finding the strength to open up and share their struggles, seek help, and find healing in the Lord.
Would you join us in praying for the mental health of students on college campuses? Let’s pray that students would experience the hope and healing that Jesus brings, that the darkness would flee, and that many would come to know the peace that Jesus offers. Let’s pray that those who are wrestling in darkness and feel alone, would find the strength to reach out for help. Finally, let’s pray that those who see their friends struggling with mental illness, that they would have the wisdom, strength, and patience to support their brothers and sisters as they walk the journey with them.
3. Comparison is a silent killer.
In a day and age where perfectionism isn’t just seen around them, but also plastered all over social media, college students are right in the thick of asking the question, “What is my true identity?” As we visited, we saw how uniquely each of them were created and how beautifully different their gifts were. Because they have each been fearfully and wonderfully made, there is no need to compare. We pray they can continue to see that their true identity is found in running the race set aside just for them and no one else. We pray they can stop looking to the right or to the left, but instead find freedom in simply looking up.
4. Students are hungry to grow and to seek out truth.
Each night our team drove away from the campus with huge excitement and hope in our hearts! There is a true hunger on each campus we visited among students to know the truth of God. It was a joy to cheer loudly and encourage each student we met to keep running after the things of God.
5. There is a difference between “knowing” and “realizing” what is true.
A big theme of the week was explaining the difference between these two words. We may think that we know a lot of things in life, but do we realize what those things are? For example, we may know that we are deeply, wholly, unconditionally loved, but do we actually realize what that means? We may think we know that Jesus came and died for our sins, but do we realize what that means? We challenged students with this thought: there is a difference between knowing and realizing. To know something is to understand it. To realize something is to step into it, to fulfill it. We hope you take a moment to step into the fullness of the reality of what Jesus has in store for you as well.
6. Believe “for” each other instead of “about” one another.
As a major topic of Sadie’s message, she explained we have a choice. As we look at and love others, we can choose to slap labels on each other and believe negative things about them. This could be a label the world has given them, or even a mistake they’ve made. OR, with the love of Christ, we can champion and believe in the possibility of transformation FOR those around us. What a powerful stake in the ground to believe for others when they aren’t believing for themselves.
7. College students have the power to effect change.
Having the power to effect change but no audience is tough. Every person has an audience, whether it’s ten people or ten million people. Every person has influence. Every person has dreams and desires for the world. College students have the power to change the trajectory of the next generation. All it takes is believing that God has gifted you with influence and an audience. That’s right, YOU. Right where you are at today, you have the power to effect life change in the people around you. You don’t have to be in a leadership position for this, you just have to step into the fullness of who God made you to be.
8. You are not alone.
Walking onto these campuses, it felt like a small country, with its own traditions, culture and languages (what does ‘Roll Tide’ actually mean and why did Mississippi State have so many cow bells?). Yet, in a sea of people sharing in the same college experience, so many students we spoke to felt alone.
One day we gathered a group of believers from across the campus together in the same room – most did not know each other and didn’t realize there was an army of sisters on their campus who were also believers. The conversations in the room started off surface level, but as one began to vocalize her struggle in an area, another began to sympathize. Then, another shared their experiences in that same area. Soon, the room began to shift from isolation to community. When we left, the girls were already planning their next meeting together.
Sister or brother, if you are a believer on your campus, your other brothers and sisters need you! Let’s no longer buy into the lie that we are alone. As a body of believers, we are called to walk alongside each other, regardless of your major, the Greek letters on your shirt, or which part of campus you live in. Let’s remind our friends that they are not alone and let’s look around for those who might need a friend or sister, even if it feels uncomfortable. Come out of isolation and step into the beauty that community has to offer.
9. You are not your mistakes.
The truth is, we have ALL made mistakes. College students are facing pressures from voices that regularly remind them of those mistakes. But a different message was brought during our time there. The message that Jesus never reminds us of our mistakes but instead, he always reminds us of his victory on our behalf. He absorbs our mistakes and gives us newness of life.
10. God is at work on college campuses!
Be encouraged! God is at work across college campuses and we are celebrating! In dorms, in sorority houses, fraternity homes, in cars, in classrooms – the spirit of the living God is transforming lives. Join us as we continue to pray for revival on campuses, for students to come to know the freedom a relationship with Christ has to offer, and for the strengthening of the body of believers who are ministering on campus!
The other day, my sweet Grandpa called me to catch up. Every once in a while, one of us will call the other to catch up on what’s been going on in our lives. This is one of those things that happens with relatives when you go away to college. You have to find time to stay in touch.
When he asked me, “How are you?” I began to give him this highlight reel of what I had been up to for the past month. It started with, “Well, I have been busy, but good!”
“Classes are good.
My internship has been good.
My friends are good.
Applying to jobs has been good.
My roommates are good.
My sorority is good.
My health has been good…”
After I finished giving him my list of “good” things, I was expecting him to say some classic grandpa response like, “Wow I’m so proud of you. You’re doing so great.”
But, he surprised me with this comment, “That is great, Nic, BUT I want to give you some Papa advice… Just pause. Just take a second to sit and see how far you have come and then pause.”
I kind of laughed under my breath because who can pause as a second semester senior in college? I can’t. There’s too much to do. “Thanks Papa,” I said and kept going with, “Yeah, that would be nice, but…”
He said “No, I mean it. Just take a step back and pause.”
I listened to his advice and to what was going on in his life, then hung up the phone. I went on with my day as I always do–on the run with no time to stop. But, for some reason, I couldn’t shake what he said. I knew I needed to pause.
So I did. There I was, sitting in my room, alone in silence. I hated every second of it.
Do you know why I hated it? Because the second I was left alone with my thoughts, then the doubts, insecurities, and anxieties came flooding in. My highlight reel turned into a list of everything I needed to accomplish, everything I’ve gotten wrong, and all the people I’ve done something wrong to.
No wonder I hate to pause. But, gosh, life is tiring. I am tired! It would be nice to just sit and rest. But, pausing created a problem.
Perhaps I avoid the pause in life because of what I experienced that day. Pausing caused anxiousness. Perhaps we all do this. We keep ourselves busy because sitting and thinking is hard to do, too.
Sunday is typically a day to pause, right? But, are we even pausing on that day like God wants us to? My friends and I refer to this pause as the “Sunday scaries.” It’s when we get to the end of our week and finally stop to breathe, then this overwhelming sense of anxiety comes over us because of all the things we need to accomplish in the next week, as well as a mixture of regrets from the week before. The Sunday scaries are the worst. If you’re in college, I’m sure you have your own version of Sunday scaries. If you’re in the working world, I’m sure you do too. Nobody really escapes this but this isn’t what God meant for Sunday, which He calls a day of rest. This isn’t what my grandpa meant when he told me to pause.
We are not meant to spend the week running so we can ignore thoughts that cause us to stress. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t bad to be busy, but it becomes a problem when we use our business to distract us from unwanted thoughts instead of turning to God to help us drive away those thoughts.
God wants to be intertwined in our crazy, busy lives. He isn’t just there in the moments of pause when we need rescuing. And, He doesn’t want to wait for the “pause” to be included in our life.
He is there when you’re cramming in the library at 2 a.m. for a test at 8 a.m. He is there in the big job interview that you’ve been stressing about for weeks. He is there with you when you find yourself tempted by the ways of the world. He doesn’t just want to be on the sidelines either. He wants to guide you and protect you. He is in it all anyway, so why not invite Him into what is happening in the here and now of your life. Don’t wait for it to stack up and then pour it on Him.
In 2 Corinthians 10:3-5, Paul says, “For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. […] we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
Paul is talking about the toxic thinking that causes our anxieties and doubts. Thoughts like, “I am not smart enough. I am not skinny enough. I am not qualified enough. I don’t measure up. I am shameful. I am….” You fill in the blank with whatever those thoughts look like for you. These are the thoughts that get us into those really dark and heavy places.
The reason those thoughts hurt so much is because they are partly true. By the world’s standards, we will never be smart enough or skinny enough. We’ll be under qualified for something and will always fall short.
We serve a God who has provided us with truth and we need to use the truths that He has promised us. Taking our thoughts captive and replacing the lies with the truth of God’s word changes the game.
But once we switch the perspective to God’s perspective, we suddenly stop paying attention to what the world is saying and start hearing what God is telling us.
God says,
“You are more than ENOUGH
I am working everything out for YOUR GOOD.
Even when you don’t see it, I have a PLAN for you that has PURPOSE.
You are made SHAMELESS in my eyes no matter what your past, present, or future looks like.”
See how that works?
When the perspective shifts, the heaviness becomes lighter. It turns our anxious thoughts into peaceful thoughts. It takes our worldly thoughts to eternal thoughts and our negative thoughts to positive thoughts.
But, it has to be a constant conversation, not just a once a week pause.
So let us PAUSE. Let us find rest in the fact that we know that our God is with us in the craziness. He is for us and He has a purpose for our lives.
Let us trap the lies that the enemy feeds us and let us replace those with what God tells us. Don’t allow any thought to seep into your mind that is not from the Lord.
What if we took the time to pause in our busy moments and invited God into the craziness rather than leaving it all for Sunday? What if we began to pray as soon as a negative thought came and took every thought captive as Paul said?
There is so much purpose in knowing what God says about you. Without constantly embracing the love and grace that we are so freely given, how are we ever going to extend it to others?
I pray that each of you reading this will find the value in the pauses of life, and in those moments, speak kind thoughts to yourself and actively hear what God says about you. I pray that you hear and believe that you are ENOUGH.
Nicolette is a senior at Texas Christian University and interned with the LO team in the summer of 2018. In her free time, you can find her traveling (or dreaming about it on Pinterest), spending time with friends, and never saying no to a new adventure.
Remember playing hide and seek as a kid? When it came to hiding, I was always the one no one could find. The older I got, the more hidden I became. I got really good at hiding, but not very good at being found or seen. Here’s the story of how I found God in my dorm room (quite literally) and learned how to truly be seen.
My story begins when I was a sophomore in high school. I grew up in a sleepy little town about thirty miles outside of Boston. On February 1, 2010, I was a normal teenager doing normal teenager stuff. The day started out like every other day. I woke up, carpooled to school with my neighbors, got a bagel in the cafeteria, and sat down in my first period Spanish class. Our principal’s voice came over the intercom with the words that would haunt the halls of my high school for years to come, “Olivia Marchand was shot in her home last night and died early this morning.” The shooting left Olivia dead, her mother critically injured, and her father ultimately turning the gun on himself. Liv was one of those people who loved others well. She represented freedom, peace, and was a friend to all.
In the months following Olivia’s death, I started dating a friend who I had met through a mutual friend. He was a gentleman and went out of his way to make me feel special. When he asked me to be his girlfriend, he pulled out all the stops. I’m talking teddy bear and chocolate covered strawberries on a beach kind of thing. For a sixteen year old, this was a dream come true. My sweet high school “love” became obsessive, controlling, and eventually abusive. The trauma from the things that I experienced during this relationship would weigh heavy on my soul for years to come.
Because of what I experienced, I started to research signs of abusive relationships, domestic violence, and sexual violence. Soon it became my mission to bring awareness to the issue. After my nineteenth birthday, I started a non-profit called Hands for Hope which was dedicated to helping victims and providing awareness for domestic and sexual violence on college campuses.
In April 2014, Hands for Hope hosted a benefit show to raise money for the awareness projects we wanted to implement across Nashville. A couple days after the show, I went to coffee with one of the artists and while we were chatting she asked me the one question that would ALWAYS make me cringe, “Where do you go to church?” The honest answer was I didn’t go at all. This led to her inviting me to attend church with her the following Sunday…before I could say no I said, “YES.”
I need to pause here for a second. This was completely out character for me. First of all, I really had no idea who this person was. We had only met twice, and here I was agreeing to go to church with her? Second of all, I AGREED TO GO TO CHURCH. I spent the coming days freaking out and thinking up ways to get out of it. I didn’t grow up going to church. Our house was what I would call a Godless house – we didn’t talk about God or our beliefs. Not that my parents didn’t have beliefs or faith of their own, it just wasn’t something we talked about (I didn’t even know the true meaning of Easter!). Between my upbringing and the pain I experienced, my heart was never really opened to God. And if I’m being honest, I had no interest in any of it.
Even though I wanted to run for the hills, I went to church that Sunday. After worship, two people shared their testimony. I remember staring at the floor wondering when and how I could run out of there. As I sat, I heard the words from a woman who was broken, hurt, and afraid. She talked about her history of abuse and how Jesus had healed her from the trauma she experienced. My attention immediately shifted. Tears fell from my eyes when I realized this woman was telling my story. Her story mirrored mine as she revealed the details of her abuse and pain. She had insomnia, flashbacks, and bad dreams which was exactly what I was going through at that time. Hearing this woman talk about her pain and how Jesus took her out of it was the moment when a seed was planted in my heart. I started to really wonder who Jesus was.
When I got back to my dorm room, my roommate was anxiously waiting for me. She was the only person who knew I was going to church that day. I told her about my experience at church and then asked her the million dollar question, “Who is Jesus?” She started to get emotional and told me that during church she felt the Holy Spirit call her to tell me about Jesus and the gospel. While we were sitting on our dorm room floor on April 6, 2014, I made the decision to walk with Jesus. I sat there in awe of God as she told me that there were so many people praying for me in this process.
A couple of weeks later, we had an awareness week planned through Hands for Hope that included several speakers. I kept feeling a pull to speak at one of the events. It was all about unveiling the lies we tell ourselves in order to find freedom. When God asked me to share my story that day, I told Him that if He wanted me to do it then He needed to give me the words to speak. He totally did! The atmosphere in the room shifted as the words poured out of my mouth. I’ll never forget the line of girls who came up to me after the event – some had been through similar things as I, some were going through it at that moment, and some just wanted to encourage me. I was no longer hiding. This was the moment that I realized the power of one simple yes to God.
The biggest question that I had to learn was, what does it mean to let God into your story? I didn’t know how to let anyone into my story. I had to let go of the lies that I was believing about my story specifically: You are an embarrassment. Your story doesn’t matter. You need to work harder and be better. You are weak. You aren’t loved. God had to do a lot of heart work in me to shift my perspective. I had to let go of the lies that I believed and learn how to be loved. To be loved means to be seen, being seen means there is vulnerability, and with vulnerability comes great risk.
What do we gain from being deeply seen?
It takes courage to speak truth. The day that I told my story in front of a room full of strangers was the first day that I asked the Lord to heal me. It was then that I realized I wasn’t just hiding from other people, I was hiding from God. I was paralyzed by fear and felt that I couldn’t tell anyone what I was going through. Speaking out about my pain gave me the power and authority over my circumstance.
I love this Brene Brown quote: “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.”
When we ignore the brokenness we have experienced, we are ignoring what makes us who we are. God can take the most broken parts of your story and turn it into beauty if you let him (Romans 8:18). Rather than hiding from it, what if you took a step into the light? I encourage you to let the people you trust into what you are going through. Bring them into the process (Galatians 6:2). Don’t wait until God’s promise is fulfilled.
My prayer for you is that you take the step into accepting the broken parts of your story. That you can be vulnerable, messy, and real in that process. I pray that you would make the choice to be seen. God gave us community so we can walk through it together. In the moments when we accept vulnerability as a gift, God meets us where we are and we can begin to heal. In these moments, we are truly seen. Or, truly found.
Christina is a music loving, laughter enthusiast who never shy’s away from digging deep into a good conversation. She believes in finding joy in all things and has a gift of finding light in the darkest of places. Day to day you can find her at the Wonder Management office where she helps curate artists dreams.
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Sadie Robertson Huff is well known for her engaging smile and energetic personality, but there is a lot more to the 25-year-old star of A&E’s Duck Dynasty and runner up on ABC’s Dancing With the Stars season 19
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Here is a pic of me and my little sister, Bella. Much like a group of sorority girls, we live in the same house. We also share the same last name. We even we look alike. We are Robertsons, born from the same parents. She is my sister. While that is what make us sisters, it is not what makes up our sisterhood. Our sisterhood comes from our genuine friendship. It comes from her love, honesty, and loyalty to me and mine to her.
