by Bella Robertson | Mar 21, 2018 | Life Advice, Relationships |
You know the one scene in mean girls, when they are all in Regina’s bedroom and start saying all the worst things about themselves? I think the reason it is so funny is because it’s a little too true. What do you hear when you are in the locker room? One girl says, “oh my gosh my legs are huge…”, and then it is like a spiral effect one after another. “My face is so fat.” “I’m literally a giant.” A couple of weeks ago, as I was in the locker room, this same conversation came up and as the words, “my stomach is huge” came out of my mouth, I was convicted. What am I saying? Why am I saying this? So I started to think, what if in that moment I said, “I love my body.” What would have happened then? Girls would probably look at me funny, because yeah…you don’t hear that often and yeah…I’m no x-small. Girls, what if you said, “I love my body” and take it step further—what if you actually believed it!!
On this journey of finding body positivity, I’ve learned that we all need to enforce in girls these days is that what you speak upon yourself is what you are going to believe. If you are telling yourself you’re too heavy or that you need to look like that model on TV to be happy, you really are going to believe that—but what if you looked in the mirror and said, “you’re beautiful and exactly who God made you to be”. Do you think you would believe that? No? Okay, imagine this: you are packing for a friend’s house and you walk by the mirror and catch glimpse of your body. Here is when you make the decision. When that voice in your head says, “yikes you need to go on a diet!” You say, “uh, no” to that. You hold your head up and you say, “girl you are flawless and you do not need to be a size 0 to be the absolutely priceless girl that you ALREADY are.” This is what it is all about. My old bible teacher used to say, “Garbage in, garbage out.” Do not put garbage about yourself in your head. You can work-out all you want, but until you work on what your mind believes about yourself, there is absolutely no way you will be able to happily look in the mirror.
So that is what I’m here to tell you. You are more than body shaming. You are more than low self-esteem. You are more than your differences, and you better believe it. You are rare, and that is not something to be looked down on. That is something to be proud of. That is something to believe. There’re lots of different beliefs floating around, but I think this one is real, and this is something I want to be heard on. I want you to hear me when I say you are stronger than this tough tough battle. I want you to listen to me when I say you are better, and my goodness I want you to believe me when I say YOU ARE MORE.
I had lots of ideas about what I was going to write for this blog, but nothing hit me as hard as this. I know so many people talk about the issue of the lack of body positivity, but girls, maybe there is a reason for that. Maybe there’s something to it. I encourage you not to just read over these words. I encourage you to let them sink in and believe them. Guys, body positivity is really a confidence issue. Confidence doesn’t have to be a conceited thing. You can be confident in the most humble authentic way. It is all about what you believe about yourself though.
Remember to love your body, because it gets you places. It is one of the many things that makes you, you. This subject is tricky and in no way do I have it all together, but that is the thing, body positivity is not something you just wake up and have. Jenna Kutcher always says it is a daily decision you make, and that couldn’t be truer. It is a choice, so choose it. Choose to believe it. Don’t live trapped in the boundaries body shaming gives you. So, next time you are in the locker room and tempted to say something negative about your body, bite your tongue (figuratively, not literally).
by Brittany Price-Brooker | Mar 19, 2018 | Testimonies
Shame. It’s something that has been woven into so many stories—not welcomed, but something that has come in to take room in our hearts and take our attention. Incredible people with amazing hearts and giftings are filled with guilt and condemnation, and it holds audience with their mind, saying they will never be what they had once dreamed.
For most of us, shame is the one thing that keeps us from embracing God’s forgiveness and living in His abundant joy. So, how do we deal with this obstacle to forgiveness and have a thriving relationship with God? We simply choose to take God at His word, and believe that His love truly washes clean our sin and shame. God’s word says, “As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.” (Psalm 103:12)
Therefore, there is now no condemnation [no guilty verdict, no punishment] for those who are in Christ Jesus [who believe in Him as personal Lord and Savior]. (Romans 8:1AMP)
On the cross, Jesus took our sin and the shame that comes with it and removed them far from us. He reminds us in scripture that because of Christ, there is no longer condemnation. He has already lifted our burdens so that the weight of sin and shame would not hold us down from running the race He has called us to.
The enemy wants us to live in defeat, but Christ wants us to live in victory.
Defeat says, “I’m too far gone. No one wants me. God doesn’t care for me because I don’t deserve his love and never will. I will give up because I will mess up again and can’t get past my shame.” Victory says, “God I know I have messed up, please forgive me and give me strength to live for you. I know you covered all my sins, past, present, and future on the cross and through the name of Jesus Christ there is victory.”
Jesus came to give up His life as a ransom for us—people He already knew would sin and struggle. He came to defeat the hold that death, shame and isolation had on our life. He wants to bring us who were in darkness into His glorious light. He wants us, just as we are. Broken, needy and fully aware that we are unable to do this life on our own. We can either let shame hold us down or allow belief in Him to lift us up to victory. Freedom is ours when we break free of our shame and walk in His grace. No longer captive, but free in Christ.
by Rich Wilkerson Jr. | Mar 16, 2018 | Life Advice
How often do I let people’s off-the-cuff comments sabotage my self-esteem? How often do I let my performance define my self-worth? Don’t let the world dictate your value. You are not the sum total of what you have done or not done, of your talents and abilities, of your fame, of your behavior, of your morality.
You are who God says you are, and he says you are fearfully and wonderfully made. He says all your days were ordained for you and written in his book before one of them came to be. He knit you together in your mother’s womb. He knows every moment of your life, every dream, every fear, every success, and failure.
Every person on this earth—whether we have done good things, bad things, evil things, or beautiful things—is valuable to God; so valuable, in fact, that God sent his son on a death mission for us. We are worth Jesus to God. That is how much we mean to him. Maybe you’ve felt overlooked and undervalued for a long time. Maybe you feel lost. Maybe you feel like you’ve missed your chance. Maybe you are rusty and dusty and abused. Please hear me: God still says you are valuable.
From Friend of Sinners by Rich Wilkerson, Jr. Copyright © 2018 Rich Wilkerson. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson. www.FriendofSinners.com
by Christa Smith | Mar 14, 2018 | Life Advice, Relationships |
WHAT IS LOVE? It’s a question that’s been asked for centuries and the definition varies drastically. I certainly don’t claim to have the complete answer, but I can at least share my thoughts and experiences on what love has looked like in my life.
Love looks like KINDNESS. God has blessed me in so many ways, but one of my greatest gifts is my parents. My whole life, they have displayed the kindness of the Lord to my sisters and I, and to many friends and strangers that entered our lives. Growing up, there were some Saturday mornings that I would wake up, and find a family had spent the night that had car trouble and was stuck on the side of road. My dad would bring them home so they could have a safe place to stay the night and get a hot meal. My parents stopping by to check on someone who had just been released from the hospital or had experienced a family tragedy, was completely normal. They never did it to be thanked or recognized, but I had a front row seat to it all, witnessing firsthand the power of being present in someone’s pain. I remember my Dad always leaving big tips at restaurants saying, “These people aren’t getting rich, but they are working hard. Let’s leave a little extra today.” I loved it. I remember getting so excited at the thought of our waitress or waiter discovering they had received a $20 dollar tip for a $10 dollar meal.
My parents taught me the joy of serving others and giving what we had. Last week, I called my parents to say hi and I couldn’t get a hold of them. I tried a couple of times that day, but again I couldn’t reach them. Later that day, my Mom finally called me back. She told me about a family friend of ours who had cancer some years ago, but had gone into remission. They just learned the cancer had returned, and it was serious. His family was coming from out of town to spend some time with him. My parents called to check on him and learned that due to his sickness, he had been unable to clean his house and was stressed that his family was coming to visit and the house wasn’t clean. My parents, who are in their 70’s, went over to his 2-story home and cleaned it top to bottom. They mopped, vacuumed and dusted to remove the burden from him. When my Mom was telling me, she was so excited because she got to talk to him about the Lord and he let my parents pray for him—something he hadn’t been open to before. My response, “Can I be like you and Dad when I grow up?” I hung up the phone that day and just marveled at my parents. They’re amazing. They clean the house of the sick, they visit the elderly that can’t get out of bed and they bring meals to the injured. They care for the orphans, the forgotten and the overlooked. Isn’t that just like Jesus? He took the time for the one, the hurting and the broken. The ones that were too sick to take care of themselves.
I learned that love looks like showing up, cleaning a bathroom and holding a hand. It’s not for the thank you or for the recognition. It’s not even for what you get back. It’s because that’s who Jesus is. He sees us through our wins and through our mess. He is there every step of the way, and sometimes, He lets us come along and sit in a front row seat.
Love looks like RESTORATION. Some years ago, my parents and I decided to open up our own antique repurposing business. My Mom and I would hunt for pieces of furniture that had charm and told stories through their wear and tear. On a day when we weren’t on the hunt, my Mom happened to drive by a garage sale that was closing up, and sitting near the curb was an antique trunk. It was dirty, broken and looked like it had lived a couple of lifetimes. My Mom learned from the person selling it that the trunk had belonged to a Vietnam Vet who had served multiple tours. That trunk had been with him on every tour. That explained the condition of this broken-down piece of furniture. My Mom saw it’s potential, l so we all agreed to bring this antique trunk back to life. We had to sand the wood down to the original grain, replace broken hardware and line the inside with beautiful cedar. After a couple of weeks, it was completed and it was stunning! So stunning, that I wasn’t sure I wanted to sell it!
I felt the Lord nudge me to take our furniture and sell it at the county Christmas Fair, where local Artisans would sell their goods, but I knew I was late signing up and wasn’t sure I would even get in. I called anyway and wouldn’t you know, someone that had been at the Christmas Fair for 20 years gave up their 2 booths and we got one. We were excited! We were placed next to a woman, who like us, was a first-timer selling at the Christmas Fair. She too had happened to call the same day I did and got the other booth! We shared the excitement of getting in and the great location we were given! What were the odds that we both called on the same day and were given booths right next to each other, because someone that had been there for the last 20 years cancelled? God. As customers ebbed and flowed throughout the day, the woman came over to our booth and was looking at all our pieces. She saw the antique trunk and stood there and stared at it for the longest time. She then looked at my Mom with tears in her eyes and said, “That looks a lot like a trunk I sold this past summer. It was the last thing I had of my Dad’s. He passed away, and I so wish I had not sold his trunk. He was a Vietnam Vet and that trunk went with him on multiple tours.”
My Mom was stunned. She said, “Well, do you want to hear the rest of the story? I’m the woman that bought that trunk at your garage sale and that IS your Dad’s trunk!” Both women just stared in silence at the antique trunk, taking in the divine beauty of the moment, knowing God has orchestrated this moment of restoration. For this woman, getting her Dad’s trunk back was a major turning point in her relationship with the Lord. That trunk represented prayers heard, lost things being restored and promises coming true. That woman found me on Facebook some months later, and told me she is currently in Seminary and feels called to full-time ministry. She said that whenever she shares her testimony, she has to tell the story about her Father’s trunk finding it’s way back to her. She had regretted selling it, wanting it back so badly because it was a piece of her earthly Father’s life.
Our heavenly Father is a Father of restoration, and NOTHING is lost with Him. God set it up that day, simply to display to all of us, that He hears every prayer—and even things that seem lost and beyond repair will be used for the beautiful story He is writing in and through our lives.
LOVE LOOKS LIKE NO MATTER WHAT. I didn’t get married until I was 39 years old. It wasn’t because I didn’t have offers or a desire. I had both, but I wanted God’s best for me. I wanted a man that passionately loved Jesus, a partner for life, a ride or die that no matter what came our way, he would be there. I wanted romance, laughter and a best friend, so I waited. I waited so long, I actually got to the place where I didn’t think I was going to get married. And although that sounds sad, it wasn’t. I was okay with it. I was really happy in my singleness. I was determined as a pastor to give a new face to being single, and I refused to think I wouldn’t walk fully in my destiny or God couldn’t use me because I was single. I knew none of that was true.
God could and would use me whether I was single or married. That’s when God brought Sean into my life. Before Sean, I had never been in love or in a serious relationship, so everything was new to me. Transparency and vulnerability, with the person I wanted to think I was amazing, was a bit of a struggle at first. I remember the first year of our marriage, I was trying to be everything I thought Sean wanted me to be. The pressure didn’t come from him, it came from me. I loved him so much, I wanted him to have the perfect wife and life. But, like any weight that you weren’t created to carry, over time, it’s going to come crashing down. My ‘crash’ came after multiple ministry trips back to back. Weariness and tiredness took over, laundry piles loomed and moving boxes stayed packed.
One morning, Sean woke up to me sitting next to him crying and overwhelmed at everything that needed to get done. I was convinced I was disappointing him and I was a failure as a wife. Sean sat up, put his arms around me and said, “Boo, I love you no matter what. It doesn’t matter if the laundry gets done or not or if the boxes don’t get unpacked, you are never a disappointment to me. I’m so happy being married to you. I’ll always love you no matter what”. That day, I saw it in my husband’s eyes and I felt it in his embrace. I realized in that moment, we had the ‘no matter what’ kind of love. From that day on, I’ve extended myself a ton of grace. The high achiever who wants to be awesome at everything has to take a back seat sometimes when I need rest or do something fun, because my fun tank is low.
Love isn’t about things working out perfectly or looking like that Instagram life we admire. No, it’s a garage full of 2-year old moving boxes (actually true) and knowing that bit-by-bit I do what I can. My husband’s love isn’t based off of any of those things. It’s based off the fact he just loves ME. Isn’t that just like Jesus? He finds us sitting on our beds, feeling like total failures and He comes, puts His arms around us, and says, “I love you no matter what”. We’ve got that kind of love.
I don’t claim to understand love completely. I’m still walking this journey out myself. But, I do know Jesus’ love is always kind, ever restoring and there is nothing I can do can earn His love or lose His love. With Him, we have a ‘no matter what’ kind of love. That’s just who He is.
by Lindsey Nelson | Mar 7, 2018 | Testimonies
When I was 17 years old, I found myself standing on the beaches of Destin, FL completely and utterly broken. The pain I felt was choking me from the inside out, and all I wanted was to dive into the water and float away. I wanted to escape this life of emptiness and hurt that kept finding its way to my doorstep. Every turn I made, heartache seemed to meet me there. It had formed me into this tough skinned, walled up, quick to cut you down before you could see my hurt, don’t you dare touch me teenager. I watched the waves as I thought to myself, I truly am nothing.
The strange thing in it all, is I still had this small portion of my heart that so desperately wanted to believe otherwise. I had this faint whisper in my mind that told me, there’s so much more…but I could not believe it. I believed the lies that I would always be second best. I would always come up short. At some point, everyone will walk away from you. I would always disappoint. I would never be good enough. I believed these lies with such a deep belief, that they could not so easily be shaken. These lies were not just a belief, but they were my reality. They were the filters I saw every situation through. Every person through. The filters I saw myself through. It was as if I had no control over this belief system, it was truly embedded into my very DNA.
I would be rejected by a friend…I knew I wasn’t fun enough. I would be the brunt of a joke…I knew I wasn’t cool enough. I wouldn’t have the money to go out with my friends…I’m always going to be without. The cycle went on and on. To believe anything else, well that would have to take a complete life transplant. So, there I was, looking out at the water, and I said out loud “God, are you actually real?”. Nothing miraculous happened. No voice from the sky. No dove floating down with gold dust or anything else out of the ordinary. So, I just went back to my car and drove “home”. I drove to the house that I was staying in at the time. My family had left me to move away, and the other half of my family was in another state completely unaware of my whereabouts. I was living in the basement of a friend’s house at the moment, sleeping on the couch and trying to just stay out of the way. I’ll never be fully cared for. I was eating dollar tacos from a taco shack…I’ll never be able to shake this shame. My life was entangled in these constant lies. My belief system was in massive need of an overhaul. But, who could possibly touch this mess? Who would dare put in the effort it took to fix 17 years of PROVEN abandonment and disappointment. Who could speak to these lies and make me believe there was another reality I could walk in?
That following Wednesday, I had a friend who invited me to his church. I was completely weirded out by this, but without remembering the question I had asked on the beach, I said yes. I walked in and immediately felt like I had walked into trap. Something was going to happen. Something weird. Something is going to either attack me or take me out. Oh, if I’d only known that yes, something was about to happen. The enemy of my life was about to be taken out and I was about to attack that enemy every day thereafter. I sat in that youth service and heard the message of a savior, who would love me and never leave me. I heard about how He had forgiven me and wanted to be my friend. I remember shaking the entire time the youth pastor began to speak about this Man. I cried silently the entire time and knew, something is shaking my very foundation. It was then that I knew, this is what I’ve been looking for. I knew, I believed.
After that moment, He led me through a journey of disassembling my entire belief system. A belief system of thickly webbed lies. A system that only one man, Jesus, was ever able to not only break through, but took the time to not just rewire it all, but give me a completely customized brand- new system. Even down to my very DNA. He broke off every generational wiring for failure, and designed me to always succeed with Him. I am wired to succeed. I am a daughter of the King. And He never fails.
I now live in a reality that is so much more than truth even, it is a KINGDOM. It’s a belief system that flows through my veins, that contain the very blood of Jesus. It’s a belief system that when pricked or dared to be invaded by any sickness of lies, is immediately rebuked by a strong defensive wall of the Word of God. It’s a system that if one bit is not true, it’s all not true. And there is no person, no enemy, no lie that can say anything to break down the truth of this gospel. If He never does one more thing for me, if I never hear His voice again, what He did on the cross and has taught me through His word and relationship thus far, would be enough. Hear me sister when I say, no matter how deep you may be in the entanglement of lies—there is one that can not only untangle it, all but can fill you with truth and revive your tired soul. He can make ALL. THINGS. NEW.
