by Juli Wilson | Dec 27, 2017 | Testimonies |
For most of my life, I spent my days playing a little game called people pleasing. Here’s the crazy thing about that game—no one ever wins!! There is no pleasing in people pleasing, because it’s not possible. I was never created to make people happy, and neither were you. Did you just breathe a sigh of relief? I know I sure did! I was constantly trying to say and do the right thing, and I certainly never said no to an invitation—out of obligation, and a deep-rooted fear that someone would be upset with me. I couldn’t handle that thought. It crippled me. I so badly wanted to make everyone else happy, that I compromised my own desires and was left unfulfilled when the other person still wasn’t satisfied with what I could give.
Does this sound like you? Don’t beat yourself up over it. Admitting you’re a people pleaser isn’t a slam on your character, it’s just a realization that you care a whole lot about other people, and that’s never a bad thing. We’ve just got to get back to a place of healthy boundaries, a place where real, authentic relationships are free to grow. There is no room for conditional love at the feet of Jesus, and there shouldn’t be room in your life, either.
So, how do we do this? Here are a few things I do to keep my life and my relationships with others rooted in Christ.
1/ Pray.
Ask the Lord give you His heart for people, but also His discernment. He will help you know who you should be closest to—who you should primarily “do life” with. I’m talking about your best friends. If they aren’t seeking after God, they probably shouldn’t be the 1st person you call for advice when you have something going on in your life. Keep in close communication with God. He will never lead you astray. He’ll bring the right people to your path.
2/ Say No.
If you are already in over your head at work, with homework, family and other obligations, it’s OKAY to say no to an invitation. It’s actually vital that you do. We can’t say yes to everything, and for recovering people-pleasers like me, that’s a punch in the gut! But, it’s also a necessary step towards finding balance and peace in your life. You’ll never reach what is best for you in life if you say yes to every opportunity. Turn down some things so you can commit to better opportunities for the path you are on.
3/ Remember Who You Belong To
It can be a little intimidating to go against someone else’s wishes, primarily because we all have an inner desire to belong. We were created for it, and that’s the beautiful thing—you don’t even have to try. God already has your seat saved, and it’s right next to His! How beautiful is that? Shift your focus to serving people, instead of trying to impress/please them, and watch how beautifully your relationships will begin to flourish.
YOU CAN DO THIS. Seek after God. Say no to a few things. Stay focused on your calling. Quit trying so hard to fit in, and allow yourself to fall into the Fathers arms—that’s where you belong, after all. Good bye, people pleasing. Hello, meaningful, fulfilling relationships.
Join me in praying this prayer today:
Lord,
Help me to remember that my worth is found in you alone, not in my ability to make other people happy. Only you can do that, Father. Thank you for not putting that burden on me, and please, take it off when I unknowingly put it back on myself. You are such a good Father, and I am so grateful for you. In Your name. Amen
by Juli Wilson | Nov 22, 2017 | Life Advice |
encouragement.
Tis’ the season for thanks and giving! I just love the holidays. There’s something about this time of year that brings in a wave of sweet nostalgia, and it feels like the world seems to slow down a bit. Everyone seems to hit pause, and takes the time to focus on what’s really important – their faith, family and friends. It’s such a breath of fresh air in a culture that is so fast paced and “me” centered. Today, I want us to do just that – to slow down, take the focus off of ourselves and give thanks to our Heavenly Father for who He is, and for all that He has done in our lives. What better way to showcase our gratitude than to offer up words that are God breathed? Here are five verses we can meditate on this week as we lift up praises to the Lord!
Come, let’s shout praises to God, raise the roof for the Rock who saved us! Let’s march into his presence singing praises, lifting the rafters with our hymns!
Psalm 95:1-2
On your feet now—applaud God! Bring a gift of laughter, sing yourselves into his presence.
Psalm 100:1-2
Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.
1 Chronicles 16:34
And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Colossians 3:17
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
1 Thessalonians 5:18
Lord,
Thank you for all of the blessings you pour out on us every single day. You continuously pour out grace and compassion, and that’s unlike any other love we’ve ever known. Thank you for the gift of your son, Jesus, and the unbelievable opportunity to spend eternity with him. You are a good, good Father, and we are so grateful for who you are. All thanks be to you, God. We love you. Amen.
by Juli Wilson | Oct 30, 2017 | Life Advice, Testimonies |
I was driving through downtown with my kids the other day, when my 2-year-old startlingly screamed, “AHHH, MOMMY!! A DOST!!!” A “dost” in his language is a ghost – and no, he wasn’t making this up. He literally saw a ghost figurine outside one of our neighbors’ home, made complete with skeletons, jack –o-lanterns and spider webs, just to make sure everyone was officially creeped out. I calmed him down, and took on the daunting task of explaining the concept of Halloween to my toddler.
“Well, son…once a year, people dress up in costumes, masks and hats, and go door-to-door asking strangers for candy.” He looked at me like a deer in headlights. The confusion was written all over his face, and I couldn’t blame him. It is an interesting concept, isn’t it?
I told him that he doesn’t have to be afraid, because underneath the masks and costumes are just regular people – our neighbors, store clerks, baristas, kids, friends, etc. And as the words were coming out of my mouth, I had a sudden “a ha!” moment. I started thinking about how many of us go through life wearing a mask – trying to cover who we truly are underneath. We want to fit in, but here’s the thing – you were never meant to. You were created to stand out.
I get it, it can be scary to let people see you as you truly are – flaws, insecurities and all. I’m right there with you! It’s not easy to be authentic, to be vulnerable. But that’s where connection happens. Where true living happens. You don’t have to cover up your scars – they are proof that God heals. Be who you are. Share your strengths and your struggles. Give the world the gift of YOU – it doesn’t need another copy of someone else. God created you with a unique set of gifts and talents. Your beauty is unlike any other. Your heart is unmatched. Come out of hiding, take courage and walk boldly in who you are in Christ.
by Lauren Scruggs-Kennedy | Aug 2, 2017 | Life Advice, Testimonies |
guest blogger.
I have always been an all-natural kind of girl, with palm trees, ocean waves, and sandy toes on my mind. I feel more myself with little to no makeup, a blow out or beach waves that look effortless, and high-waisted Levis for that all-American, undone look. Like most girls, I cared about what I looked like growing up, but I didn’t spend too much time getting ready or analyzing my appearance. I truly believe my parents’ love and encouragement was a vessel in protecting me from low self value, and believing that I was a daughter of Jesus aided in focusing on developing lasting memories and friendships, rather than becoming consumed with the physical. Yet, I was very challenged on this mindset and perspective when my life took an unexpected turn.
My calendar paused, my career path changed, and my platform increased after a night of injury in 2011. I was sucked into a plane propeller; the blade cut into my brain and the left side of my body, resulting in the loss of my left eye, left hand, and half my head of hair post brain surgery. In retrospect, I clearly see how I easily submerged in destructive comparison after this life-altering experience. I felt depleted of beauty, but my foundation remained the same. My mom and dad’s love and encouragement became stronger. My faith and trust in believing Jesus loved me grew substantially. Somehow my perspective of beauty shifted, though, and I believe one of the gifts of this tragedy was revealing to me the meaningless things that I apparently held so dear. What “bothered” me most about the outcome of this accident revealed what I held as very valuable. Did I let outward beauty define me? Yes. Did I cherish attention more than I realized? Definitely. I truly had to sit back and be still. I had to reassess my foundation. I had to refocus on what was important. I quickly came to realize that comparison is equivalent to worry; it only severely hinders and limits fruition. Plus, if we really think about it, wouldn’t life be boring if we were all the same?
“Physical beauty fades; attention is temporary and unfulfilling.”
The Lord has brought such healing these last five years. He has restored in me a new kind of inner confidence that is rooted in where my identity truly stands, and I have realized the following to be true: physical beauty fades; attention is temporary and unfulfilling. Yes, my insecurities are a daily struggle. I often catch myself comparing not only to other people but to my “old” self. Grief is intertwined in it all as I miss my hand and my eye daily, but a lot of the hesitation in loving the skin I am in comes from wanting to hide what has changed. I have learned to be open about this struggle to my sweet husband, family, and friends, and I am slowly realizing that freedom comes from vulnerability . I am also seeing that beauty truly is in accepting the scars, in character, in the humility of freely being you, and in loving others well. I am learning to fully accept and value the path the Lord has put in front of me, and I am learning to view that path as beautiful.
by Juli Wilson | Aug 1, 2017 | Life Advice, Motherhood, Testimonies |
God’s plans for you are good.
Sit back and close your eyes for a second. I want you to think really hard about what your biggest fear is. Bring it to the forefront of your mind. Maybe its snakes, spiders and bugs, or maybe it’s the scarier stuff – like failing or not being good enough. Whatever it is, I want you to think on it. Imagine being face to face with it. What would you do? How would it affect you? This is the reality I faced just a few nights ago. And I had a huge choice to make.
It was a typical night in the Wilson household. I fed, changed and bathed babies, and then chased those little rascals around the house until it was bed time. Both kids went down with ease, and my husband and I high-fived in disbelief and decided to watch a movie. What? A movie night? For parents with two kids ages two and under? A DREAM. And it was…until it wasn’t. I decided that I’d make a night of it and went to take a bubble bath. I got the water started and joyfully walked down the hall to the laundry room to grab a freshly washed towel – made complete with a Mrs. Myers dryer sheet, of course. Pure luxury. As I opened the laundry room door, a MOUSE… A STINKING MOUSE ran in from our garage, through the doggie door and INTO OUR LAUNDRY ROOM LIKE HE OWNED THE PLACE. He ran by my feet and proceeded to go behind the dryer. Yes, the same dryer that was holding my glorious fluffy towel hostage.
“We unknowingly allow fear to guide us, to make decisions for us and to unfortunately, hold us back from what we were created for.”
I was instantly crippled by fear. I started screaming and pouting, insisting that my darling husband capture the unwanted houseguest and book me a stay at the nearest hotel. Dramatic? Probably. But it’s how I felt. It’s a funny thing, fear. It has a way of crippling you and stopping you right in your tracks. And at the time, it feels so big and scary – even if it is just the size of a mouse. I found my self tip-toeing through the house, looking around for anything that might jump out and surprise me. I unknowingly gave fear the opportunity to interrupt my life, my plans and ultimately, my peace.
And as I look back on all of this, I can’t help but notice a parallel to our spiritual lives. How many times have you found yourself tip-toeing through life, trying to do everything in your power to keep things from catching you off guard? We buy into this lie that we’re in control, that if we try hard enough to plan everything out, nothing can hurt or surprise us. We unknowingly allow fear to guide us, to make decisions for us and to unfortunately, hold us back from what we were created for.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Placing our trust in God doesn’t mean we can’t be afraid, so don’t beat yourself up if you still find yourself a little nervous when God calls you to do something. Sometimes, trusting is being scared out of your mind, terrified of what may or may not happen, but taking God’s reached out hand anyways— allowing Him to guide you through the unknowns. So, with you, I’m going to take those next steps. I’m going to keep on fighting the good fight, and although it may be scary, we don’t have to fear. We have a God who has plans for us are good. (“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11) We can cling to this verse knowing that even though His plans for our lives won’t always be easy, they are always good. Will they be scary sometimes? You bet. But rest assured knowing they are setting the foundation for your future – hold on to hope knowing He won’t harm you. He’s a good Father. He won’t fail you.
