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Sadie Robertson Huff is well known for her engaging smile and energetic personality, but there is a lot more to the 25-year-old star of A&E’s Duck Dynasty and runner up on ABC’s Dancing With the Stars season 19
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Sisters and friends from all over the world share their stories, advice, and encouramgent on our blog. Topics feature college advice, sisterhood, sadie’s messages and more.
I remember the first time I heard a girl confess she struggled with it. I was in college and had just joined a campus ministry. The girls on my team were gathering to share testimonies, our stories of life change (John 4:7-25, 39).
And one of the girls? Incredibly courageous.
I remember tears welling up in her eyes as she told us she was introduced to porn when she was super young – maybe 12? I can’t remember. But that unfortunate introduction led to years of captivity—she had been enslaved to porn and masturbation.
“I always thought it was a guy sin—that something must be wrong with me,” she told the group. But one day she sat in a circle much like ours, and heard another girl share her testimony. For the first time in her life, she realized she wasn’t alone (1 Corinthians 10:13).
My new friend’s courage led to a really sweet night for our group. One that I’m personally glad I remembered years later. We heard story after story of God’s faithfulness to bring the dead to life. His faithfulness to restore the broken, and heal the wounded, abused, the hurting, and the hopeless. Because that’s what he does! Everyday. At all times. It doesn’t matter what the sin is. God delights to meet us in our brokenness. We don’t have to clean ourselves up to come Him. But with sins like hers—we don’t always believe this to be true.
A lot of times, for us? Sexual sin is scary.
But if your scary sin is secret sin, you’re probably a slave to it.
Maybe you’ve tried to stop.
“This’ll be the last time.” But it wasn’t. You’re tired.
Or maybe you’re confused.
If you’re like I was, maybe you’ve never heard girls talk about porn. I thought my new friend was brave, but I also thought, “that’ll never be me.” (So, if you’re reading this, and you don’t know what I’m talking about when I use those words—PLEASE, ask a trusted church leader or your parents. And if you’re anything like me, and curiosity is killing you, I want you to go read Proverbs 14:12 and Proverbs 4:14-15. And then call a trusted leader in your life and tell them you’re curious. Ask for help.)
Maybe you’re offended.
Sometimes blogs or articles like this can feel like somebody’s pointing their finger at you. While Paul does point out we can become slaves to sin, he also reminds us every day is a choice. You’re not too far gone, and I know the struggle is real; but remember you have a choice. Paul says, “Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God which leads to righteous living” (Romans 6:16 NLT).
Or maybe you don’t think it’s a sin.
“The Bible just says don’t have premarital sex. I’m not doing that, so I‘m good, right? Besides, it’s not like I’m addicted to porn.” Or, “I don’t know if I’d even call this porn really—it’s not that bad …” Ever thought like that? I’ve been there. But you know what God’s word says? Sexual immorality (that’s all impurity or inappropriate sexual longing) must not even be named among believers. Why? Because it isn’t healthy or right for God’s people to be entertained by sin—and in this case, porn and masturbation are acts that cause us to be entertained by sex outside of marriage (Ephesians 5:3).
Lastly, maybe you’re afraid. Or ashamed?
Maybe you think this will be the sin you take to the grave, or the sin that goes away when you get married. But what if you didn’t have to be afraid or ashamed? What if you could talk about it? … And what if it doesn’t go away when you get married?
As your big sis, I’m here to tell you that there’s bad news and there’s good news.
The Bad News: Sin Always Leads to Death
Some of us know this far too well. What started off as curiosity and a lot of Gossip Girl or Nicholas Sparks turned into a full-blown addiction – maybe it’s porn and masturbation? Or maybe for you, it’s vaping? Either way, you know what it’s like for one moment of curiosity or excitement to trap you in a downward spiral.
Not sure if you’re trapped? Ask yourself these questions:
How many times have you said, “This will be the last time?”
Do you count the days between “times?”
Justifying it with, “well it’s only once a month…or once a week?”
Ever want or feel like you need “just a little bit more?”
If you answered yes to any of those questions, you’re probably living in the bad news: Sin leads to death.
Anytime you feel an urge to sin—that is to think, say, or do anything that doesn’t honor God, you’re being tempted. “And remember, when you are being tempted, don’t say, ‘God is tempting me.’ God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else.Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death” (James 1:13-15). James is literally saying that just as a baby is conceived, born, and grows up, so too does our sin.
It’s really helpful to think about James’ point: Sin that grows up guides you into the ground. It leads to death.
But we have to be careful, because this can get really confusing really quickly. If you’re a believer in Christ, your eternity is secure not because of your performance; rather, your eternity is secure if you have faith in the life, death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus (Romans 10:9-10; Ephesians 2:8-9). James is not saying if you keep sinning you will go to hell. That’s not his point. He’s saying if you keep sinning, your life is not going to head in the direction you want it to go.
If you’re a believer in Christ, James is pointing out that if you continue in sin your life will decay and decay and decay. Instead of experiencing the abundant and full life Jesus intends for his kids, you’ll experience the opposite: a life that declines (Proverbs 10:27, 11:19; John 10:10).
For me it looked like this: I was never exposed to porn. But I had a relationship with a guy in high school that wasn’t great. When I got to college, and started to hear girls talk, I got curious—was I missing out on something great? At first, I just wanted to know about it, “this will never be my problem,” I thought, “so there’s no harm in learning about it.” Then, one thing led to another, and years later I found myself struggling with masturbation and lustful thoughts—and no one knew.
I had no community.
I was lonely.
I was the church girl. “I’m not supposed to struggle with this,” I thought, ashamed and embarrassed.
I was afraid of what other people might think.
But I needed help. And that’s where the good news comes into play.
The Good News: Your Sin Doesn’t Have to be Your Story.
For me, I realized I wasn’t living authentically and needed to get to a place where I was surrounded by believers who regularly confessed their sin and helped hold each other accountable to flee temptation. Later in chapter 5, James goes on to say, “Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” To my surprise, when I got around a group of girls, who loved Jesus and wanted to help each other look more like Him, I was met with grace and compassion.
They reminded me that there’s no condemnation for those who are in Christ (Romans 8:1). They cheered for me—and celebrated my confession. They didn’t celebrate my sin; rather, it was my courage to share that they celebrated. They reminded me of what was true: “As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly” (Proverbs 26:11). They didn’t want me to be like the dog (a gross illustration, I know), so they celebrated my courage and helped me think through ways to combat the temptation.
Matthew 5:30 says, “If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.” Now again, this could be confusing—If you have placed your faith in Jesus, your eternity is secure (1 John 5:11-13, John 5:24). In this verse, Jesus is speaking in hyperbole (extreme exaggeration to communicate a point.) I mean, if Jesus really wanted us to apply this verse literally, the human race would be incredibly crippled (and everyone would be left handed)!
Jesus is saying we should be willing to take extreme measures to run from sin—missing out on something is better than letting our sin lead us to devastation and destruction.
Missing out is a wonderful thing if it means we’re fighting sin. For you, that might mean deleting Instagram or TikTok, maybe you install CovenantEyes on your computer or sleep with your bedroom door open (1 Corinthians 10:13). It might be a sacrifice, but it’ll be worth it.
Jesus doesn’t expect perfection, because we can’t be perfect. Paul understood this reality (Romans 7:21-25). But at the same time, grace doesn’t give us a free pass to sin (Romans 6:1-3).
So, when we mess up, we run to the light. We confess and pray for one another that we might be healed, we remove from our lives whatever might be contributing to the temptation, and we remind ourselves of truth. We remember that God’s mercies are new every morning and his promises have no end (Lamentations 3:22-23). There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ (Romans 8:1). God loves you. So much so that he sent his son to die on the cross for us, taking the punishment we deserve for sin. But the story didn’t stop there, because he rose from the grave, and by believing in him, we can find new life in him (Romans 10:9-10). He’s the ones who transforms us— on our own strength, we’re powerless. But thanks be to God, He gives us the victory through Christ Jesus our Lord (1 Corinthians 15:57). I hope and pray you’ll find the victory and freedom I did.
Love you guys.
-Em
Emma is on staff at Watermark Community Church in Dallas, Texas and is leading a ministry called Join The Journey—a daily Bible reading plan aimed at helping all believers regularly get into God’s Word and understand what they’re reading through resources like journals, podcasts and more! Emma graduated from Texas A&M with her undergraduate degree in English and continued her education, studying the Bible, through the Watermark Institute. In her free time, Emma, passionate about her generation knowing the story of scripture and how to study it, creates equipping resources for her peers. You can find out more by visiting understandingmybible.com or by visiting her Instagram, @_emmadotter_
Hi friend, I am so excited to share my message from Passion 2022 with you! I pray this encourages you and speaks Truth into your life!
Starting out, I need to say that what I know more than anything is that the enemy does not want you to receive the message I’m about to share. I know the enemy doesn’t want you to be reminded of who you are and what you’re called to do. But the enemy cannot stop the move of God.
I want to take this time to remind you of who you are. I want to talk about identity, which should be a great conversation, right? As a culture, we love to talk about identity. We’re actually obsessed with it. We love talking about the enneagram, myers-briggs test, or any kind of online quiz we can take. We even like to talk about our childhood self and how we became who we are today. But it’s kind of strange, because even though we love talking about who we are, nobody actually likes to be hit with the question, “who are you?”
If you’ve ever been in a group setting like the first day of school, and the teacher says to go around the room and say a bit about yourself, it’s pretty awkward, right? All of a sudden, you’re hit with so much insecurity and awkwardness and you start questioning who you are, what you’ve ever done, and what to say in that moment that’s not too cocky but still cool. And that’s kind of a funny moment with silly insecurity and anxiety. But for some of us, the reality is there is true anxiety and insecurity around the thought of “who am I.” Because truthfully you might be sitting there right now thinking, “I have no clue who I am.” And not only is that the case, but you don’t know you’re purpose either. That’s a tough place to be, but you are not alone.
Then there are some of you who are just confused about who you are. You identify with all types of things but none of them are really fulfilling. A few weeks ago, I asked this question on Instagram: What do you identify yourself with? And I had thousands of answers. Some of which included looks, sororities, grades, gender, sexuality, race, disabilities. Then I had tons of people say, “I don’t know.” But then there are some of you who are confident to answer the question of “who am I?” Your answer is simple. “I am who You say I am.” But I want to follow up with this question: Has that actually changed who you are? Has who He says that you are actually changed the nature of who you are? Because we can say it all day long with confidence, but that doesn’t mean we’re confident people. You see, there was a time in my life when I could tell you all about who He says I am. Yet, I was still insecure and living in shame. So, what He said about me didn’t actually change me. Friend, you can know everything He says about you. But what ultimately matters is who He is to you. If He’s not on the throne of your life, then what He says about you isn’t going to change who you are.
So, as we dive into the topic of identity, I have another question for you. The answer to this question is going to tell us who we are and what we’re going to do with our lives. I want us to take a look at Matthew 16:13. But before I get there, I want to paint a backstory of the situation. Jesus is having a conversation with His disciples. It’s a huge conversation between Peter and Jesus in Caesarea, Philippi, a city known as the gates of hell. At the time, Caesarea was the central place for false worship. If you went to this city, you’d see temples lined up everywhere, all serving different gods. It’s a little strange that this is the place Jesus decided to have this conversation. But I know He had a purpose for it. So, as he’s surrounded by all these people worshipping other gods, he asks the question, “who am I?”
“When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?” They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” (Matthew 16:13-19)
I want to emphasize how big of a moment this is. Here at the “gates of hell,” Jesus is telling Peter He was going to use him as a rock for His church. Notice that when Peter recognized who Jesus was, Jesus in return, told Peter who he was. Peter’s identity was not found in who he or anyone else thought he was. It was found in who Jesus said he was after first establishing that Jesus is God. That’s the most important question you can answer. Who is God? Because whoever is on the throne of your life is going to be the one telling you who you are. Therefore, if God is God to you, then that should change everything about who you are. Who we believe we are will directly impact us to do the things we do in life.
After Peter was given his identity, he then was given his mission to build the church. What we’re trying to do as a culture is allowing the world to tell us who we are, attempting to establish ourselves in the world, then trying to have purpose and live with intention for the Gospel of Jesus. But those two things contradict each other. Because who the world tells you that you are, and what God calls you to do are typically not going to go hand in hand. We find ourselves studying the enneagram to find out who we are more than studying the Word of God to find out who we are. We’re scrolling through social media trying to find answers to these massive questions about who we are instead of leaning into the voice of God.
Let me clarify, I’m a big fan of those things. I’m a 6 wing 7 on the enneagram and could tell you all there is to know about it. I’m an ENFP and I know my zodiac sign. But none of that could tell me more about who I am than the one who knit me together in my mother’s womb. See, what happens is when I say those are the things I identify with, it excuses me to not have to be who I am called to be. I could say, “I’m a 6 so I’m just going to be afraid because that’s who I am.” But the Word of God says that you’ve not been given a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and self-control. So, we have to ask ourselves if we believe more about what the enneagram says about us or what God says about us.
I was at a friend’s wedding recently and everyone was sharing speeches at the rehearsal dinner. So, the mom of the groom stood up to speak and started her speech off with a very profound statement. She said, “Son, although nothing about giving you away feels natural, it is extremely biblical.” When I heard this, I couldn’t help but think about how true that is for so many areas in life. There are a lot of things in life that won’t come natural to us, but are extremely biblical. It’s not natural for me to turn the other cheek when someone slaps me across the face, but it’s biblical. It’s not natural for me to want to go the second mile with someone, but Jesus says that if a brother asks you to go one mile, then go another. It’s not natural for me to forgive someone who has hurt me, but the Word of God says to forgive seventy times seven. It’s not natural for us to even want to live sometimes because we wake up and feel like a failure. But it is biblical that your life has meaning and purpose.
Friend, there will be times in life when some things might legitimately feel natural, but even more legitimate than those feelings is the Truth of what God says that you are. Notice that I didn’t say your truth or my truth. I said THE Truth. One day I googled the verse John 8:32, “and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Jesus was listed as one of the many who said that the truth will set you free. But the reason it was so powerful when Jesus said it is because He is the Truth and He actually has the power to set you free. He is the way to freedom and will lead you to the Father. Culture will tell you that your truth will do the same thing, but that is a lie. So many of us want to be our own version of truth. Love, power, control. But what we have to consider is when we try to take on these God-like attributes, we’ve got to carry the weight of our sin. And we’re not able to do that. It’s the same thing Eve faced in the garden. She desired this apple, then the enemy tried to convince her that if she ate the apple, she would be like God. It’s that same temptation for us. We want to be like God. As soon as Eve took a bite of the apple, she realized that was all a lie.
My daughter, Honey, is the best little girl ever. I’m obsessed with her, if you haven’t already been able to tell from my social media. She is so fun and such a wiggle worm. So, with that personality, you can probably assume that she hates the car seat. If Honey could talk, she’d probably tell me that sitting in her car seat is not natural and it is her truth that she doesn’t need a car seat. But what I don’t do is agree with her and excuse her from the car seat. Instead, I strap her in as tightly as I can. Not because I’m trying to hold her back from who she truly is, but because I know what’s best for her life. Just because her truth may be different, it doesn’t mean that the effects of a car crash would be any different for her.
Just because we have a different truth doesn’t mean the effects of sin will be any different for us. Proverbs 16:25 says, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end, it leads to destruction.” And we have to trust God enough to know that He created us with beautiful intention and design. There is something amazing about the fact that He made us all original and diverse. But we can’t go find out more about our originality and identity by who the world says we are. We have to find that in who God is.
There’s a part in The Lion King that represents this so well. Simba had been living his hakuna matata lifestyle after he’d run from all his worry and shame from his past life. Then one day, as he was going to wash his face in the water, he looked and saw his father’s reflection instead of his own. All of a sudden, he was reminded of who he was and what he was called to do. Then he realized that he had to go back to his homeland of Pride Rock where destruction had been taking place. As he shows up back home and lets out a huge roar, Scar, the enemy in the move, turns around and with fear in his eyes says, “Mufasa?” He recognized Simba’s father’s voice in him.
Friend, when you get a good look at who God is and you know who you are, the enemy will no longer try to intimidate you, because he’s intimidated by who God is in you. “It’s no longer I that live, but Christ who lives within me.” (Galatians 2:20)
It doesn’t matter if we try to figure out who we are. What really matters is us trying to figure out who God is. Knowing who God is has changed everything about me. There’s a message from Priscilla Shirer that I’ve likely listened to 1,000 times because I need a reminder of who God is every day of my life. It’s called “Who’s Your Daddy.” I want to declare the same message over you.
Priscilla says she looks in the mirror and asks, “Girl, who’s your daddy?” Then she reminds herself, “He’s the beginning and the end. He’s the keeper of creation and the creator of all. He’s the architect of the universe and the manager of all time. He always was, always is, always will be, unchanged, undefeated, and never undone. He was bruised, but brought healing. He was pierced but eased pain. He was persecuted but brought freedom. He is risen to bring power and He reigns to bring peace. He is light, He is love, He is longevity, and He is the Lord. He is goodness, power, faithfulness, and He is God. He is righteous, powerful, and pure. His ways are right and His will is eternal. His mind is unchanging and His mind is on us. He’s our Savior, our God, our peace, our Lord, our comfort, our joy, and He rules our life. He is the wisdom of the wise, the power of the powerful, the leader of all leaders, the ancient of days, the ruler of all rulers. His goal was a relationship with me. He’ll never leave you, never mislead you, never forsake you, never forget you, never overlook you, and never cancel your appointment in His appointment book. When you fall, He will lift you up. When you fail, He will forgive you. When you are weak, He is strong. When you are afraid, He is your courage. When you are broken, He will mend you. When you are blind, He will lead you. When you are hungry, He will feed you. When you face trials, He is with you. When I face persecution, He shields me. When I face problems, He will comfort me. When I face loss, He will provide for me. When we face death, He will carry us all home to meet Him. He is everything to everyone every time everywhere and in every way. He is your God and that is who you belong to.”
If you believe that is who your God is, you will not be confused by who you are because He’s not confused by who He is. And He is not confused on the purpose of your life. Friend, you must know that the gates of hell shall not prevail past His Kingdom. The God in you can do more than you could ever think of, ask for, dream, or imagine.
As a little kid, I hated studying for tests—mainly because I couldn’t memorize all the information fast enough. Memorization always took longer than I wanted it to. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not sure anyone actually enjoys studying for tests. But as hard as I tried to cram all the information into my little middle-school-aged brain, I couldn’t do it quick enough; and that is what would frustrate me. It always took more time than I wanted.
And while I’m no longer in school, and all the tests are behind me, there’s one thing that isn’t: sadness. And disappointment, unfulfilled expectations, a glimmer of hope, and maybe a little anger all mashed into one. And I’d really love it if these feelings would turn off (especially the sadness), but they just won’t. They linger, the sad girl hours.
And, ya know? For as much as I used to hate that phrase and kinda laugh it off like any other meme, it’s now become something I’m all too familiar with. Because just like I wanted to fit my studying into a short time frame and be done, we sometimes want to put a box around all our negative emotions and move on … be done. But sometimes, they linger; or at least they have for me—especially the sadness.
Nearly every little girl dreams of her wedding day. Picking out a dress, marrying Prince Charming, Dad walking you down the aisle? Fairytale type stuff. This time last year, I thought I was on my way to living out that fairytale. I was dating my best friend, and our best friends were best friends—like literally, they are married to each other. He was the best man in their wedding, and I was the maid of honor. We became friends, then we started dating, then we started seriously dating—like premarital ministry participation looked at rings started seriously dating, and I thought that fairytale was on the way. In fact, I thought it’d be coming, really, any week.
And then it didn’t.
To my surprise, my best friend, the man who I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, had been lying to me. And it all came crashing down. Tears filled my eyes as I heard phrases like, “I can’t say that I love you, and I can’t say that I don’t,” and “I’ve just let other people’s pressures and expectations drive me to take steps forward I shouldn’t have been taking…starting months ago.”
And when that friendship ended, the sadness started. The unfulfilled expectations started. Anger started. Hanging onto a glimmer of hope started…then he got a new girlfriend. And the sadness started again and again, and just when I’d think it had passed, it’d be back.
I don’t know what sadness you’re facing. Maybe it’s heartbreak? Maybe it’s cancer? Maybe you lost your job, or a loved one? Your marriage is falling apart? You didn’t get into that college? Not making the grades?
Maybe it’s a conglomeration of several of those things. I don’t know what’s making you sad or angry or frustrated or whatever, but I do know that, for you, those feelings are real. And they’re hard.
About 10 months into persistent feelings of disappointment, I started asking the question, “At what point should I be concerned that my sad feelings aren’t going away?”
“Learn from your pain before it leaves.” That’s what my friend JP says. I hadn’t learned, so now I’m glad it hadn’t left.
And honestly, for the past 12 months, I’ve wished I’ve had a big sister who’d walked through loss, or disappointment, or feelings of grief even, that linger for a long time so I could learn from her; but I don’t have a big sister. So, for just a few more paragraphs, I want to be your big sister. Here’s some encouragement and a couple things I’ve learned.
Remember what’s true, and when you can’t remember, make sure you’ve got friends who do.
There’s this big passage in Exodus 6 where Moses goes to the Israelites and is like, “You guys. This is the best news. God? He sees us. He’s going to save us—we don’t have to be slaves anymore! He’s gunna be a father to us.” And it’s this crazy encouraging passage that people quote often…but they typically leave out the next verse. “Moses reported this to the Israelites, but they did not listen to him because of their discouragement and harsh labor.” (Exodus 6:9)
The Israelites, blinded by their present disappointments and tough circumstances, missed the good news. In your sadness, fight to remember the good news—even if you have to ask a friend to remind you of what’s true. And since I’m your big sister for the time being, here are some reminders:
Jesus gets it. He sees you. He hates that you’re facing those feelings and circumstances, and he’s with you. (Hebrews 4:15)
It’s not forever. Jesus told us life on this earth wouldn’t be smooth sailing. (John 16:33) But the rough waters aren’t forever. (Revelation 21:4, Psalm 40:1-3, 30:5b)
And He’s King over it. (1 Corinthians 15:57)
The reminders are important because it’s not enough to just vent. In fact, venting can actually be dangerous. Proverbs 29:11 says, “a fool gives full vent to his soul.” So, all those frustrations or circling thoughts you need to air out? Make sure you run them through the truth of God’s Word and that you’ve got a friend or pastor nearby to help shepherd you. It’s healthy to let other people into the things you’re thinking and experiencing, but it’s unhealthy to air them out and breathe them back in again. Take in truth.
God does something special in the pressing.
John Piper says to savor, or treasure, the special promised nearness of God that comes when storm clouds seem to move in over our lives. And I found that frustrating for two reasons. One, because God’s felt pretty far at times over the past year. And two, because he basically said, “enjoy this season, because you’ll miss it when it’s gone.” I was honestly like, “Are you kidding me John?! Enjoy sadness?!”
He wasn’t kidding, because Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is near to the broken-hearted.” He’s near. He stores up our tears and doesn’t let anything come into our lives on accident. (Psalm 56:8; Colossians 1:16-17) But even though He knows our days better than we do, He still wants to hear from us—and that’s one way we experience that special nearness Piper was talking about.
There’s a special intimacy that comes when we honestly pour out our hearts to God. The goal of prayer isn’t to change God’s mind. It’s an opportunity to trust Him with the honest desires of our hearts—even when they aren’t met. He cares about you. He wants to talk to you. He’s for you. Remember that. If you’re a believer in Christ’s life, death, burial, and resurrection, you’re on God’s team.
And here’s the deal. This pressing is for your good. And I know that’s the last thing you want to hear. Because it’s a lot harder to believe God works everything for good, when life doesn’t feel very good. (Romans 8:28) But, those times when life doesn’t feel great, could possibly be some of the most formative, valuable, refining, faith-strengthening, and developmental times of your entire life. Romans 5 tells us that God uses the hard circumstances in our lives to strengthen our character and solidify our hope—and this hope “doesn’t put us to shame.”
So regardless of whether the sadness you’re currently facing has been caused by your own poor decisions, another person, or it’s just the cards you were dealt, you can trust that God is up to something through it. We might not always understand it, but when we can’t see what God is doing, we can be sure that when it’s all said and done, we’ll be glad He did. (Isaiah 55:8)
Emma is on staff at Watermark Community Church, home of The Porch, a Tuesday night ministry that reaches thousands of young adults across the country. Emma graduated from Texas A&M with her undergraduate degree in English and continued her education, by studying the Bible through the Watermark Institute. In her free time, Emma, being passionate about her generation knowing the story of scripture and how to study it, creates equipping resources for her peers. You can find out more by visiting understandingmybible.com or by visiting her Instagram, @_emmadotter_
Community. Some of you might be reading this right now thinking there’s no hope in having this. But here’s the truth, friend. You could. You could dig into a local church. You could build a spiritual family. You could have friendships. And that’s what we’re going to talk about today. Living on mission and fighting the devil with the greatest weapon that we have which is each other. You could have people that make you love God more around you a year from now. And I promise you, you matter for the Kingdom of God.
We all come from a context. We all come from a story. We all come from struggles. I have yet to sit across from someone at coffee long enough that they don’t eventually cry. It’s like my superpower. Sit there long enough and I will make you cry. And the reason why is because somewhere in the depths of every single one of us are thoughts, insecurities, fears, anxiety. Am I alone when I say my anxiety has been worse in the last year than it has been in 10? I didn’t prepare a message for you. I prayed for what God had to say to you. Because the truth is, we don’t need a show. We need healing, powerfully, in the places that we’ve never shared. And I can’t make that happen. So here is my prayer to the One who can:
Jesus, you are here. There were prayers prayed that the enemy would have no foothold here. So, you are here and the enemy is not. This is a safe place because you are God. You know the innermost parts of us and you know us and love us. And you want more for us. That we would live so free that other people want you. God would you show us the parts that we love more than you. In Jesus’ name, amen.
I’m going to ask you to pull out a notebook. I want you to be as honest as you can with this. What I believe is that until we’re honest with ourselves it’s really hard to change. So, let’s start here:
What are you longing for?
What are you grieving?
What are you anxious about?
Once you’re done, find someone and tell them the hardest answers to share. I guarantee you’ll get a head nod. Because we are all in the struggle together.
Here are a few of the things people say they’re longing for: a Godly husband, to feel worthy, loved, and purposeful, clarity in the unknown of life, Godly friendships, strength.
People are grieving for: past sins and brokenness, broken relationships, unknowns.
People are anxious about: failing as a mother, changes, inability to turn from sins.
We are really good at recognizing these things. But I’m afraid it’s because life has not been easy for us. And there is a lot going on in our heads that’s heavy and even sometimes toxic. My kids started school this week and for the first time, on the back of the card they have to wear around their necks, the school added the number to call if you’re tempted to commit suicide. There is a war for your generation unlike any generation before. The enemy got a bunch of weapons in this generation. The internet, anxiety, isolation. Then there’s a constant stream of pressure being thrown at you every single minute. And you need to know that’s not how people have always lived. Three in five people describe themselves as lonely. We are the most anxious and lonely generation documented.
I spent a portion of my life studying the brain and I loved it. In the last 20 years they’ve learned more about the brain than they have in 2,000 years. And what we know about the brain is that we can change our thoughts. If you didn’t already know that, it’s great news. So, I wrote this book called Get Out of Your Head and a lot of people read it. It’s been amazing and lives have been changed. But it’s funny because I keep hearing this theme. Why do I fall back even though I know I have God-given power over my thoughts? Why do I fall back into anxiety, depression, doubt, and self-loathing? Why do I fall back into these patterns still even though I know the truth? Which is that we can “take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5) Why do I fall back into it?
So, I spent the last two years of my life looking at what is called the greatest weapon which God has given us outside of His word to fight the enemy. The brain. Let me tell you about the enemy. Great battlefield is the brain, especially to a lot of you who feel isolated right now. If you’re alone in the dark with the devil, he can tell you whatever the heck he wants. And guess who he is? Jesus said it five different ways in a few verses in John 8. Most defining characteristic: Liar.
“He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” (John 8:44)
Alone in the dark with the devil, who’s a liar. Why do we keep going back to that dark place? Whatever it is that the devil has been telling us, it’s time we know that it’s the devil. And if the devil has been luring you to empty cisterns that are never going to fill you, then it’s time we call things what they are. Now, let’s stop talking about what the enemy’s trying to do and start talking about what God wants to do.
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.” (1 Peter 5:6-11)
This is a good story. And in many ways, I believe we’re telling it well. But I also believe that if the enemy gets us alone in the dark, we’ll forget that story and end up living for another one that won’t last long. How do we change? That is the question. We will always be people that grieve and worry about things. Honestly, there is plenty to worry about in today’s society. But we are not in bondage to those things.
So, what does it look like to live free? I love this story that Peter painted. He gets it. He understands how we need to live. But he also gets grace. And he also gets that he is never going to obey God all by himself. There was a reason Jesus didn’t just pick Peter. There’s a reason He didn’t just go with Peter into the sunset. He brought a whole entourage. Jesus could have shown up on stage with a microphone and the Spirit come out and all the people’s lives change. Why did He gather a posse? Because Jesus didn’t just come to die for our sins. He came to show us how to live.
And you wonder why life feels so hard. Let’s go back to this question: How do we change? When I did the neuro research I learned this.
Our brains have emotions which move into thoughts, then behaviors, then relationships, then consequences. And it feels like this circle that sometimes you can’t get off. And Proverbs would say, “For as a man thinketh within himself, so is he.” (Proverbs 23:7)
Let me give you a little bit of brain science here. 80% of what people think about is negative. 95% is repetitive from the day before. We are thinking the same dark thoughts minute after minute until the devil can sit down and fold his hands because our thoughts are on repeat. But the interesting thing about the brain is that we can actually interrupt thoughts.
The way I do it is reminding myself that I have a choice. I don’t have to dwell on this negative thing. I can interrupt the thought. Now, the last two years a lot of people were reading the Bible in the midst of Covid and I got a lot of messages asking, “Why can I still not change? Science and scriptures say we can.”
“The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.” (Romans 8:6)
It seems that our mind can change everything. Except, where are we when we’re in our thoughts? All alone. If you know anything about the Bible it’s all about people who mess up. People who love God and who are angry at Him. People hurting people. And yet, how do people change? Jesus. I guarantee there are plenty of you reading this who love Jesus and are still anxious. This past week I went on a retreat where, to my surprise, there was a counselor. It was difficult, but I shared that all my life I have felt like I am nothing. A storyline I picked up by the age of 12. A road that led to an eating disorder and self-condemning thoughts. All I wanted to know is that what I was doing mattered to God.
But during this retreat, my life changed. Because it turns out, we don’t need all the right answers. We need people sitting in the hard with us. By the end of my share time at retreat, I was in a ball crying and repeatedly saying, “I feel so much pressure. I just wanna quit.” Something in my soul was held by Jesus through people. The assumption of the Bible is that we’d be doing life with people. Yet, we’re more isolated than we’ve ever been. There is a war for us. And the enemy wants nothing more than cause you to check out from the purposes God has for you. God has a beautiful picture to paint for us. But it’s not easy, because the very place we’re supposed to find healing, for most of us is the very place we found hurt. And it’s not easy when God calls us to go back to the places of brokenness to find healing. Jesus wants healing for you.
We’re at war and we’re all fighting alone. But we don’t have to. Longings, griefs, and worries. What do we do with them until heaven? Share them. That is the easiest line to say but hardest to live. We share them with each other so that we can carry them together. However, it’s hard to need people. We change with interruptions. We change by sharing our lives with people that love us. If you’re reading this and saying, “I’m the loneliest of all and I’ve tried this and it has not worked.” I’m going to tell you another one-liner that is very simple. Try again. And if it fails, try again and again. My friend on the retreat said, “We come into the world looking for someone looking for us.” This is where the Gospel gets so sweet. We have a God who chased us down from heaven to earth and went to the cross. And what he got out of it is us, because he loves and cares for us. And the story of God is that we have an enemy, but we have an army fighting with us and for us. The problem is, we don’t let people fight for us. We think all these thoughts and never say them out loud. So no one can fight for us. But this is the moment that changes. The light doesn’t stream in until you open the door.
“There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” (Romans 8:1)
It doesn’t matter if you don’t have it all figured out. You say the thoughts, and that is being free. Let people fight for you. Are you missing the story God has for your life because you don’t have teammates to run with you? We need those people to remind us there is now no condemnation in Christ Jesus. But guess what? They’ll still hurt you. And because of the blood of Jesus you forgive them anyway.
We need community. It’s not about not being lonely. It’s about not missing the few years we have here and what God wants to accomplish through you. It’s not easy, but I promise you it makes life so much better.
He wants to set you free. He doesn’t want you to be alone in the dark with the devil. He wants you to burst out into the light with people who know Him too. He has a plan and it is good. Trust in Him.
Jennie is an Arkansas native but Texan forever, Bible teacher, author, and the founder and visionary of IF:Gathering. A passionate leader following God’s call on her life to catalyze this generation to live what they believe, Jennie is the author of Restless, Anything, Nothing to Prove, and her most recent book Get Out of Your Head. Her Bible studies include Stuck, Chase, Restless, and Proven. Jennie has a master’s in biblical studies from Dallas Theological Seminary and lives in Dallas, Texas, with her husband and teammate, Zac, and their four children, Conner, Kate, Caroline, and Cooper.
and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6
My prayer this election cycle is for Godly discernment. My hope is that the men and women running for office will balance the wishes of their supporters, the thoughts of their opponents, and seek Godly wisdom in every decision they make up to the election and as they govern if they win. I also pray that the voters will also exercise Godly discernment when choosing the person who will govern all of us.
Discernment is a word that is not often used these days. It simply means: the ability to judge well. Discernment shapes our entire lives. It is our ability to take everything in and then make a good, well thought out, decision. We all do this everyday of our lives for things big and small. The bible gives us a guide full of examples of regular folks and leaders, some who show great discernment and others not so much.
God’s word teaches that we as believers, whether we are in a leadership position or not, don’t just make decisions based on what’s best for us. We consider others needs as well as our own. We also consider God’s wishes in all our decisions.
Using discernment is so important in our own lives, but even more for folks who run for office, as how they discern right from wrong shapes the communities and our very country in which we live. We have a role to play in that too. We get to choose our leaders by voting. You have a choice to make and I know it can be very difficult. You have to make a judgment; you have to show discernment.
Pray, seek God’s wisdom, study up on the issues in our country and read the Bible to help with that decision. Know that the decision you make helps shape the discernment of our leaders. What we vote for or against directly affects our leaders and the decisions they make.
It’s not easy to make sure that all of the information we take in is not what we hear and see from the world. Be careful not to join the crowd, any crowd. Consider future generations, think of your neighbor and their well-being and always seek God’s will. It’s ultimately His will that we pray is done in all circumstances. And that charge is not for our leaders, but for us as voters as well.
Willie Robertson is the CEO of Duck Commander and Buck Commander and star of A&E’s “Duck Dynasty”. Robertson has expanded his family companies, from a living room operation to a multi-million-dollar enterprise and destination for all things outdoors. Duck Commander is the best-selling duck call brand in the U.S. It, along with Buck Commander are popular trademarks on apparel, hunting gear, food items and more. Robertson is executive producer of A&E’s “Duck Dynasty” and “Buck Commander” on the Outdoor Channel. He is the New York times best-selling author of “The Duck Commander Family: How Faith, Family and Ducks Built a Dynasty,” “American Hunter” and “American Fisherman.” The husband to Korie Robertson and father of six, Robertson’s story is a remarkable example of entrepreneurship and dedication built on hard work, faith, and family.
Our brains have emotions which move into thoughts, then behaviors, then relationships, then consequences. And it feels like this circle that sometimes you can’t get off. And Proverbs would say, “For as a man thinketh within himself, so is he.” (Proverbs 23:7) 
The way I do it is reminding myself that I have a choice. I don’t have to dwell on this negative thing. I can interrupt the thought. Now, the last two years a lot of people were reading the Bible in the midst of Covid and I got a lot of messages asking, “Why can I still not change? Science and scriptures say we can.”
