As I’ve talked to others about prayer on my blog over the years, I’ve spent a lot of time making it more palatable. I’ve tried to emphasize how it can fit into our busy lives. I’ve talked about prayer on the go. I’ve comforted the busy mom with toddlers who has trouble spending more than two consecutive minutes talking to God.
That’s not to say two minutes of prayer is a waste. It just means we shouldn’t come with faulty expectations and then, when they’re not met, use them as the excuse to quit that we were looking for.
If we were sitting together, I’d look in your eyes and express to you how important it is that you keep praying and do not give up. I know you know that, but so much in our world wants to keep us from persevering in prayer. We need the reminders.
We can experience lives that are full of God’s presence, responses, and miracles. We can be part of his Kingdom work and be the ones who constantly point people to him. But we need to put in the time.
We’re always going to have a valid reason not to pray, but an intimate prayer life will remain a mirage until we admit the changes we need to make as we pursue Jesus.
I want to be the person who doesn’t “grow weary of doing good” (Galatians 6:9). Who prays “at all times” and who “keep[s] alert with all perseverance” (Ephesians 6:18). Who has such a sweet rhythm of prayer that calluses develop.
Through prayer, we can be involved in Kingdom work that we’d never be able to do in person. We might have no expertise at building schools, but we can pray for those who are expanding education in remote places. We might have no experience changing laws or healing diseases, but through prayer, we can be actively involved in work God is doing to bring justice and show mercy through medicine. The reach we can experience through prayer is incredible.
Take action. Decide right now what you want to change about your prayer life.
Grab a friend to take the journey with you.
Having a friend who’s chasing after the same goals makes it easier to stay committed. It’s why the fittest people are often surrounded by other fit people. Our habits rub off on one another. Imagine doing life with a few friends who constantly ask what they could lift up in prayer for you—friends who, when the hard conversations or the tears come, react first by praying. We’re going to have hard moments when we want to give up. I’ve had those seasons where praying felt almost impossible, and I coveted the prayers of others over me that I could echo. Do this with someone. Don’t feel awkward asking. You might just be the answered prayer they’ve been waiting for. (The Val Marie Paper community is a great supplementary resource online, but we highly recommend going on this journey with someone in your everyday life.)
Figure out your heaviest weights.
Throughout this book we’ve looked at weight after weight that can keep us from running free in prayer. As you read through the chapters, which weight resonated the most? Which ones felt the hardest to shake? Share them with your prayer friends, and ask the Lord to help you remove those weights. Then take the practical steps forward that we mentioned in the book.
Study the prayer life of Jesus.
The Gospels are filled with beautiful examples of Jesus escaping from the world to pray. He threw off the weights that could have easily entangled him, and often he chose quiet moments with God over the spotlight or sleep. Learn from his teaching on prayer too, as we talked about in chapter 2, reading it in context of everything he taught.
Keep learning.
I love that you’re reading this book right now, and I encourage you to read other books on prayer. If the topic is on our minds, there’s a better chance we’ll remember to do it. More knowledge about prayer will also build your confidence. If you’ve still got lots of questions, talk with a trusted friend or pastor.
Make prayer visible.
Prayer is always available to us, but it’s also invisible, meaning that we can easily forget about it. This is why goal experts encourage people to make their goals visible. When you can physically be reminded of your goals—perhaps by listing them on a paper taped to your refrigerator or on your desk—you will naturally think of your goals more often. One way to make prayer visible is to write down your prayers in a prayer journal and record your answers. I love our prayer journals at valmariepaper.com, but really, just get something that works for you and will remind you to pray. You could also use an index card with prayers on it as a bookmark, or tape a prayer to your bathroom mirror.
Remember the benefits of consistent prayer.
The benefits are extravagant. In the breakout box below, I’ve shared several that can remind you in those moments when it feels like you’re just talking to the ceiling. So much is happening behind the scenes that we cannot see! Prayer is so worth it, and this list can keep you encouraged.
Make an actual commitment.
I love this quote that’s often attributed to Karen Lamb: “A year from now, you will wish you had started today.” Commit today. Write out a prayer, and tell the Lord what you are committing to. Is it a regular practice of fasting? Is it more confession? Is it a specific amount of prayer or a new prayer routine at a certain time each day? Invite God in as you commit to growing in your most important conversation.
What happens next in your prayer story? For too long, I’ve felt like I was destined for the same song but second verse of prayer failure. What changes all that is knowing that the things weighing us down in prayer don’t have to be permanent. And the Lord is ready and willing to help us. Are we ready to throw off every hindrance? When we throw off the weight of the journey and avoid giving up too soon, we experience the fruit of a thriving prayer life.
Valerie Woerner’s mission is to help women live intentional lives that are an outflow of a fruitful, focused prayer life. She is the author of Pray Confidently and Consistently, Grumpy Mom Takes a Holiday, Springboard Prayers and The Finishing School and the owner of Val Marie Paper, where she designs prompted prayer journals and other practical products that eliminate distraction and increase focus in prayer. Valerie lives in Lafayette, Louisiana with her husband, Tyler, and their two daughters. Visit her online shop at valmariepaper.com.
I have a confession to make. What I’m about to share with you was once a triple-top-secret, pinky-promise kind of thing. I’d make you promise not to tell anyone, but the cat is out of the bag. You now have my permission to laugh or cringe. You ready? I bought my dream wedding dress when I was twenty-two years old and completely single.
No, I’m not kidding.
So, the year was 2011. Ancient, I know. My sister was engaged to her now-husband, Zack, and we were in full wedding-planning mode.
One day, we were out shopping for the perfect wedding dress for Kristen. We had hit up a few shops with nothing to show for it. Kristen was feeling discouraged. One by one the dresses went on, then off. After a few rounds, Kristen put on the most gorgeous dress I had ever laid eyes on. The top was filled with sparkles and faux diamonds. The bottom was elegant, full, and flowing with a beautiful chiffon fabric. She looked dreamy.
Unfortunately, when Kristen looked in the mirror, she didn’t quite see Cinderella. She thought the dress was lovely, but it wasn’t her. She must have seen my glowing eyes, because she commented on how this dress looked more like me than her. I nodded my head in agreement.
“You should try it on!” Kristen said with a smile.
Now hear me out. When I walked into the store that day with Kristen, I had zero intentions of buying a wedding dress for myself. That was the last thing on my radar. I was completely single. No wedding in sight.
The minute I walked out of that room to show Kristen and our mom the dress, they both erupted in small cheers. “It’s one hundred percent you!” Kristen said, shaking her head and smiling. “It’s like you times a thousand, actually.”
I had to agree with her. It was totally me. It fit perfectly too. Before I could talk any sense into myself, a wave of fear washed over me. What if this dress no longer exists when I get married someday? What if they discontinue it? What if I search for months and months and can’t find anything even close to this?
That fear drove me to make a drastic and totally weird decision. I bought the dress!
The sales clerk was completely confused when we asked her to package up this dress for me. As we walked away from that store, a thrilling sensation washed over me. Maybe my wedding day wouldn’t be too far off after all. Little did I know that my perfect dress would hang in the back of my closet for many, many years to come. That little secret would remain hidden in the shadows of my life while my dreams to get married went unfulfilled.
Maybe you’re in a similar situation. You desire marriage, but it just isn’t happening for you. Maybe it’s a disappointment with your career. Maybe it’s losing a loved one too soon. Maybe it’s having to move cross country leaving behind all of your friends. Maybe it’s not getting accepted into your dream university.
Sister, I don’t know exactly what you’re going through but I do know this. We all experience disappointment, unfulfilled longings, and unmet expectations. I’ve been there and I know you’ve been there as well.
So how do we trust God and remain faithful in the midst of disappointment?
There’s a short passage found in Proverbs 3 that has become an anchor in my life. It’s literally been my life verse and rock. It’s what carried me through when my wedding dress would stare at me from the back of my closet. Let’s look at it together:
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. (vv. 5–6)
Let’s dig into each line a little deeper.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart.”
God doesn’t want part of our heart. He doesn’t want the part that’s easiest to give. That’s not what this verse is saying. This verse makes it crystal clear that He wants all of it. He wants the full surrender. Why is it so easy to give all our heart to other things, like guys, work, friends, or a television show, but so hard to totally give it to God? I wish it were the other way around. Don’t you? By trusting in the Lord with all your heart, you’re humbly admitting that God’s ways are better. That God is wiser. That His character is perfectly good and loving (which we know it is). That it would be foolish to rely on our own finite wisdom rather than trust our mighty Creator. Trusting in the Lord with all your heart is an act of humility. It’s acknowledging how great God is and how very small we are in comparison.
“And do not lean on your own understanding.”
That’s the contrasting piece to the verse. We are to trust in the Lord with all our heart and not lean on our own understanding. Why? Because our understanding is incredibly limited. We have a teeny-tiny view of life, of this world, and only mere speculation about the future. God sees and knows everything. He knows where we’ve been and where we’re going. Leaning on your own understanding would be like taking the paintbrush from Leonardo da Vinci and asking him to step aside. Yikes! How foolish and silly would that be? It would be crazy! Insane, in fact. And yet, that’s what we try to do with God. Not leaning on your own understanding is acknowledging that God is the Master Artist and you are not. It’s letting Him paint the portrait of your life.
“In all your ways acknowledge him.”
This means acknowledging God in the little things and the big things. It’s saying, God, I’d really love for this relationship with this guy to work out. He seems so awesome, and I think we’d make an amazing couple. Even though I really want this, I’m opening my hands and surrendering this to You. Please give me wisdom. Please help me to listen. Please bring out anything in our relationship that is not honoring or would not be beneficial to him or to me. Please end this if it’s not Your plan for me. I trust You. I want Your will. Acknowledging Him is wanting what God wants long term, not just what you want in the current moment. It’s being willing to follow God down a different path than you’d imagined for your life if He makes that clear. Acknowledging God is simply living a surrendered life one day at a time.
“And he will make straight your paths.”
This is beautiful. God promises that He will direct your paths if you do the above things He’s listed. He will guide you, and He will do it one step at a time. One moment at a time. One day at a time. If you’re trusting in Him with all your heart, not leaning on your own understanding, and acknowledging Him in all your ways, you better believe that He absolutely will direct your paths. He won’t always direct them where you want Him to direct them. But He will always direct them where He knows is best. Imagine a little toddler who’s starting to walk. Toddlers need a lot of guidance and assistance for every next step. If left to themselves, they would most likely end up hurt or somewhere they really don’t want to be. We are like the toddler. We need God’s guidance for every step of the way. In those moments when you’re struggling and want to go your own way, take a deep breath and remind yourself to trust in Him with all your heart.
It’s Hard to Trust
Girl, I get it. I get how difficult it is to put this whole trust thing into practice. When life is messy, it’s hard to trust. When you thought God was doing one thing, and He closes the door and takes you in a different direction, it’s hard to trust. When something happens that’s totally outside of your control and you can’t fix it, it’s hard to trust. When you desperately want God to intervene for you in a certain way and He doesn’t, it’s hard to trust. When you buy a wedding dress and end up single for the next decade, it’s hard to trust.
I believe that God has a good work for you to do (Eph. 2:10). I believe that He has you here for a good purpose (Gal. 6:9). I’m cheering you on as you strive to trust God and thrive right where He’s planted you. I’m praying that you will choose to be faithful. Choose to obey. Choose to trust Him.
Bethany Beal is head-over-heels in love with her best friend and husband, David, and is the super proud mommy of Davey Jr. She is the cofounder of GirlDefined Ministries (www.girldefined.com) and the author of Not Part of the Plan: Trusting God with the Twists and Turns of Your Story. She is passionate about spreading the truth of biblical womanhood through writing, speaking, and mentoring young women. To her family and close friends, she is simply a tall blonde girl who is obsessed with iced lattes and can’t get enough of her sweet baby Davey Jr.
Note from Team LO: We are SO excited to bring you this month’s post from our LO sister member, Maggie Castonguay! We are so encouraged by the message she offers today. If you want to be a part of this incredible community, you can join today! Find out more about this online sisterhood HERE. And for more info about what LO sister is all about, visit our Instagram Page!
Now, enjoy today’s post from Maggie 🙂
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“How do you find joy in every moment?”
Someone once asked me this question and to be honest, at the time I didn’t know how to answer it. This world is filled with heartache, tragedy, and grief. How do you find joy in every moment, living in a world like this?
While I was writing this blog post, I realized that I haven’t looked up the definition of joy. When I googled it, I found the biblical definition and it put everything into perspective.
“The biblical definition of joy says that joy is a feeling of good pleasure and happiness that is dependent on who Jesus is rather than on who we are or what is happening around us. Joy comes from the Holy Spirit, abiding in God’s presence and from hope in His word.” 1
Whoa. That’s good!
For a long time, my joy depended on my situation. If I played a great game, I would be happy. If I had good grades, I would be happy. If my friends and I were getting along, I would be happy. But if any of these things weren’t going how I’d like them to, I wasn’t happy. In fact, it felt like my world was falling apart.
The reason it felt like my world was falling apart was because my joy had been found in the things of the world. I couldn’t find joy in every moment because I valued the things that were in the moment more than Who was leading me in the moment.
I am sure that most of us have heard the famous quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson that says, “Life is a journey, not a destination.” And this is so true about our life here on Earth. As Christians, this world and this life is not our destination. Heaven is our destination, but life on Earth is our journey to get there. There will be ups and downs, happiness and heartache, but through it all we can have joy and peace knowing where we are going.
“And through your faith, God is protecting you by his power until you receive this salvation, which is ready to be revealed on the last day for all to see. So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while.” (1 Peter 1:5-6) NLT
Ever since I started to put God above the things in my life, I began to find true happiness. Of course, I still have days where I am upset and don’t feel the happiest. I’m human, and that is part of living in a fallen world. But it is in these moments of frustration and sadness that I feel God’s presence the most. God can turn any moment of sadness and hurt into a moment of joy and praise.
This is because God is joy. When you draw near to God, you will experience love, joy, peace, and understanding far beyond what we can imagine. You can draw near to God by spending time with Him. You can do this by reading the Bible, singing worship songs, or writing in a prayer journal. However you choose to, having alone time with God is crucial when trying to get closer to Him and finding the true joy that can only come from Him.
When I was in high school, I was on a number of different athletic teams. I loved to compete and I loved the adrenaline rush that came with playing sports. To me, being a Christian feels the same way. The closer I draw near to God, the more on fire I get for Him. I want to spread the Gospel, and tell everyone about Him! However, unlike an athletic team, we know that every time we step onto the court our team is going to win. God has defeated death, sadness, sickness, and pain, and we get to be on His team!
“He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” (Revelation 21:4) NLT
True joy does not fluctuate with your circumstance. True joy comes from knowing Who is in control and Who has already won the war against sin and death. This alone gives me joy, hope, and peace. It motivates me to live my life in a way that glorifies God in every moment. And when you choose to glorify God in every moment, good or bad, His strength and joy will fill you immensely.
“Let the heavens be glad, and the earth rejoice! Let the sea and everything in it shout his praise!” (Psalms 96:11) NLT
Now, of course, this doesn’t mean that you can’t find happiness here on Earth. God has blessed us with relationships and a world to explore His creation. But we will not find true joy when we start to depend on these things as our source of happiness. There will be moments in your life that are filled with heartache and sadness. In fact, even Jesus’s life on Earth was filled with these emotions. He felt our pain and endured the cross for US! We have joy because of who Jesus is and because He saved us.
So, how do you find joy in every moment?
One word…
Jesus.
We can find true joy in every moment because we know Who stands with us in every moment.
We can find true joy in every moment because we know Who saved us.
We can find true joy in every moment not because of who we are, but because of who Jesus is.
This joy is not dependent on your current situation. There is nothing that you, or anyone else, can do or say that will change this joy. This joy will last forever.
My prayer for you, friend, is that you will draw closer to God today and that you will find His peace, love, hope, joy, and understanding that can only come from Him. Just know that God knows about whatever circumstance you are going through right now, and He is right there fighting alongside you. God is the source of true joy.
Have you ever been in a season where all you saw around you is lack? You wished you were further along in your journey, you wished you had more money in the bank, you wished you had a better job. You simply wished SOMETHING was different because you were not satisfied with the circumstances you were in? This thought is too common for us believers, and I believe God is inviting us to put on new eyes to see what truly is around us and the reality that joy and contentment is available to us right where we are at through Christ!
Let’s take a look at what the Word says about gratitude and thanksgiving
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
Gratitude isn’t just a nice idea we try to do better at during the thanksgiving holiday, it’s actually God’s will for our lives. He sees it as an absolute essential for us! Gratitude isn’t a suggestion, it’s His desire and His will for us because of the fruit it will bear in our lives!
I wonder what would have happened if the Israelites chose to be grateful in the wilderness rather than be full of complaints. They were so stuck in their lack that they forgot that the same God who delivered them from Egypt was STILL with them. They forgot to be thankful! They chose to focus on what they didn’t have, rather than focus and remember what God did for them.
As we know, the Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 years. What should have been a 2 week or less journey on foot turned into a prolonged journey of wandering fueled by unhealthy cycles of complaining and defeat. They kept forgetting WHO their God was! They took their eyes off of God and onto the reality around them. They didn’t have the realization that their breakthrough lied in what they were sowing through their words and the thoughts in their heart.
Sis, when you choose gratitude, it turns what is around you into enough. God is inviting you to step INTO gratitude, where it not only becomes a discipline, but it becomes a lifestyle and essentially becomes WHO you are. Despite what feels as not enough around you, I truly believe God wants to show you the everlasting peace and joy you can find in Him, because Jesus is enough!
I want to remind you that God’s goodness is in fact around all you. Right in this very moment, as you’re reading this, God’s goodness is encompassing you. Ask Him to show you what that is. Maybe it’s packaged in a way that you haven’t recognized yet, but through His grace and kindness, I believe He will show you it!
Here are some practical ways to choose gratitude:
1. At the end of each day, write down three things you are grateful for that day.
By doing this you are retraining your mind and perspective. Sooner or later you’ll start to find those things more naturally! Recording gratitude is much more powerful than you know. 😉
2. Text a friend and tell them how meaningful your friendship is and something you’re grateful for about them. Bringing gratitude into relationships is a MUST. Telling someone you’re grateful for them can do wonders for their spirit (and create deeper connection!) It not only will strengthen your friendship, but it will leave the recipient feeling loved and seen by you and God.
3. Start your prayer time with gratitude for WHO God is!
Psalm 100:4 says “Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.” Thanksgiving is the gateway into His presence. It takes us into a new reality! It shifts our focus back onto our amazing God and off of anything that may try and discourage us.
4. Take a trip down memory lane and dwell on all the beautiful things God has already done for you. Psalm 77:11-12 “I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds.” When we remember the goodness of God, it strengthens our spirit. It reminds us that if God did it then, how much more can we do it now? He is the same God yesterday, today and forever!
I hope these words today could ignite a desire to cultivate gratitude in your life a little more. Friend, I promise you that on the other side of you choosing it, you will experience a perspective shift that will bring peace and joy in your life!
It’s time you activated the Word of God to fight the battle in your mind.
Many of us have made friends with fear.
We wake up with thoughts that we don’t want to be there. We believe lies that are so far from the truth of what God thinks about us. We crave peace and a clear mind – but it seems nearly impossible with the kinds of worries that run through our heads on a daily basis.
This is what my story looked like. I used to live in a constant state of fear, where my mind would literally loop around certain thoughts all day. I tried to get out of it with “positive thinking” and my own strength – but my mind still felt like a prison cell that I couldn’t get out of.
The Enemy put up a stronghold of FEAR in my life – and many of you are under that same very stronghold today.
It wasn’t until I began to do one simple thing, that my mind became renewed and clear. I finally started to experience the peace that God wished to give me. And that’s exactly what I want to teach you, today.
LET’S GET READY FOR BATTLE
I want you to think for a second about a battle. To prepare for battle, you get to know your Enemy. You take time to consider the tricks and tactics he might try. And you get your proper ammo ready – because you would never go into the battlefield without a weapon.
And yet, many women are standing in the middle of a battlefield right now, completely unarmed. They’re letting the Enemy, the Devil, take as many shots at them as possible. They are on the defense – instead of on the offense.
So how do you get on the offense, you ask? How do you STOP believing these lies, stop living in fear, and finally walk through this life with peace of mind that can only come from Jesus? It’s very simple: you get your weapons ready. The very weapon of the Word of God.
Ephesians 6:12 says this:
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of ]the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.”
Listen – if we are fighting a spiritual battle, we need spiritual weapons (2 Corinthians 10:3-5). And the weapon that is MOST effective in waging war against the Enemy is the very truth of God found in the pages of scripture.
Don’t believe me? Let’s flip to Hebrews 4:12 “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”
I don’t know where you are at today with the Bible. I’m not sure if you believe that the Word of God is absolute truth. I don’t know whether you are even comfortable reading it yet, or if you have even started.
But I do know my experience. And the moment I saw that scripture actually silenced lies and fears that flooded my mind – I never looked at the Bible the same.
It showed me that the words in the Bible weren’t just pretty words written thousands of years ago. No, these words had POWER. And it was the kind of power I desperately needed in my life.
Scripture would quiet the voices every. Single. Time – where my own willpower would fail. The Word became my weapon. And I was never the same.
So no matter how comfortable you are in reading the Word today, or even if you’ve never opened the Bible before, you can still activate this weapon. You don’t have to be a Super-Christian or memorize the whole Bible to do this. In fact, I am going to walk you through a simple strategy to activate the Word of God in your own life that really helped me – so that you will finally be able to live a free and abundant life in Jesus you so desperately crave.
HOW TO USE THE WORD AS YOUR WEAPON: Keep reading to activate the Word of God in your life!
Step #1: IDENTIFY THE AREA OF ATTACK: THE SPECIFIC LIE/ FEAR/ TEMPTATION.
First, I want you to get ahead of your Enemy, and specifically look at WHAT he is attacking. Is it your identity? Is it a certain lie that’s been planted? For me, my identity was being attacked, and I needed scripture that told me that my identity was found in Jesus and nothing else. Identify clearly the lie you are believing, the temptation you’re falling for again and again, the fear that is robbing you of joy. Write it down. And get specific. The more specific, the better!
Step #2: IDENTIFY THE TRUTH.
What would God say about this specific lie? What would He say about this fear? If you don’t know – ask a friend in your community to speak into it. You can even ask God and say Lord, what is YOUR truth on this? And wait to hear an answer.
Step #3: FIND EVIDENCE FOR THIS TRUTH.
Now that you know what God says about this lie, you’re going to find a scripture that serves as evidence for this truth. When we accept Christ we have the Holy Spirit inside of us, who leads us into all truth (John 16:13). What that means is you can literally ask God for a scripture to cling to – and He will often pop one up in your mind or point you to a verse in your Bible. Try it for yourself, and watch Him do it! And if you are still struggling to find a scripture to help you cling to God’s truth with this lie, you can always Google “bible verses on ___”
Step #4: WRITE THIS TRUTH DOWN ON A BATTLE CARD
Now for the fun part! I’m going to walk you through how I specifically activate the weapon of the Word in my every day through BATTLE CARDS! I started doing this when the lies were so loud that I could barely get through the day.
To create a battle card, you’re going to take the scripture that you found, and you are going to write it down on one side of an index card.
For example, if I am struggling with fear, I can write Psalm 34:4-5:
“I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.”
Once you have your scripture written down – you are going to flip over the notecard and write a PRAYER. This doesn’t have to be fancy – just a prayer between you and the Lord, where you bring your feelings to Him, ask Him for help and declare His truth over the situation. It does not have to be perfect, just make it personal. Write this prayer out on the other side of your index card!
An example of a prayer I’ve done on my battle card: “Lord, right now I am feeling anxious about the future. I know that the Enemy would want me to worry and so I turn from believing that the worst is going to happen to believing that you have amazing things ahead. Lead me, Father, I trust you. I believe that you have an amazing plan for my life. In Jesus Name, Amen.”
Step #5: TAKE THE BATTLE CARD WITH YOU THROUGHOUT YOUR DAY, AND ACTIVATE THE TRUTH WHEN NECESSARY.
Once you have scripture on one side and a prayer on the back, you have got yourself a battle card, which serves as some serious ammo! When the thought comes up in your head during the day, whip out your battle card and first meditate on the scripture. Focus on the verse, with deep breathing if you can to quiet your mind and heart. After you’ve stopped what you are doing and meditated on the scripture, turn the card over and read the prayer out loud. When you are done, put the card back in your pocket and focus on what God has for you to do at that moment. Take it out the next time the thought comes up and battle until the lie fades away. Slowly but surely, your mind will be renewed (Romans 12:2).
LET YOUR MIND BE RENEWED
I don’t know about you, but sometimes you need to get sick and tired of being sick and tired to make a change. And I believe that’s the case for you today.
Once you start to take up the weapon of the Word to fight this battle in your mind, you will experience such fresh freedom. Your mind will finally be clear. Your fears will stop controlling you. The Enemy will not have a hold over your mind any longer.
It’s time for you to fight back today with the sword of the Spirit, the very Word of God. It’s time for you to get up again. It’s time to let the Lord fight this battle for you through His Spirit – because it’s already been won.
Slowly but surely, you’ll hear that lie again… and this time, you’ll have nothing to do but laugh.
As a little kid, I hated studying for tests—mainly because I couldn’t memorize all the information fast enough. Memorization always took longer than I wanted it to. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not sure anyone actually enjoys studying for tests. But as hard as I tried to cram all the information into my little middle-school-aged brain, I couldn’t do it quick enough; and that is what would frustrate me. It always took more time than I wanted.
And while I’m no longer in school, and all the tests are behind me, there’s one thing that isn’t: sadness. And disappointment, unfulfilled expectations, a glimmer of hope, and maybe a little anger all mashed into one. And I’d really love it if these feelings would turn off (especially the sadness), but they just won’t. They linger, the sad girl hours.
And, ya know? For as much as I used to hate that phrase and kinda laugh it off like any other meme, it’s now become something I’m all too familiar with. Because just like I wanted to fit my studying into a short time frame and be done, we sometimes want to put a box around all our negative emotions and move on … be done. But sometimes, they linger; or at least they have for me—especially the sadness.
Nearly every little girl dreams of her wedding day. Picking out a dress, marrying Prince Charming, Dad walking you down the aisle? Fairytale type stuff. This time last year, I thought I was on my way to living out that fairytale. I was dating my best friend, and our best friends were best friends—like literally, they are married to each other. He was the best man in their wedding, and I was the maid of honor. We became friends, then we started dating, then we started seriously dating—like premarital ministry participation looked at rings started seriously dating, and I thought that fairytale was on the way. In fact, I thought it’d be coming, really, any week.
And then it didn’t.
To my surprise, my best friend, the man who I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, had been lying to me. And it all came crashing down. Tears filled my eyes as I heard phrases like, “I can’t say that I love you, and I can’t say that I don’t,” and “I’ve just let other people’s pressures and expectations drive me to take steps forward I shouldn’t have been taking…starting months ago.”
And when that friendship ended, the sadness started. The unfulfilled expectations started. Anger started. Hanging onto a glimmer of hope started…then he got a new girlfriend. And the sadness started again and again, and just when I’d think it had passed, it’d be back.
I don’t know what sadness you’re facing. Maybe it’s heartbreak? Maybe it’s cancer? Maybe you lost your job, or a loved one? Your marriage is falling apart? You didn’t get into that college? Not making the grades?
Maybe it’s a conglomeration of several of those things. I don’t know what’s making you sad or angry or frustrated or whatever, but I do know that, for you, those feelings are real. And they’re hard.
About 10 months into persistent feelings of disappointment, I started asking the question, “At what point should I be concerned that my sad feelings aren’t going away?”
“Learn from your pain before it leaves.” That’s what my friend JP says. I hadn’t learned, so now I’m glad it hadn’t left.
And honestly, for the past 12 months, I’ve wished I’ve had a big sister who’d walked through loss, or disappointment, or feelings of grief even, that linger for a long time so I could learn from her; but I don’t have a big sister. So, for just a few more paragraphs, I want to be your big sister. Here’s some encouragement and a couple things I’ve learned.
Remember what’s true, and when you can’t remember, make sure you’ve got friends who do.
There’s this big passage in Exodus 6 where Moses goes to the Israelites and is like, “You guys. This is the best news. God? He sees us. He’s going to save us—we don’t have to be slaves anymore! He’s gunna be a father to us.” And it’s this crazy encouraging passage that people quote often…but they typically leave out the next verse. “Moses reported this to the Israelites, but they did not listen to him because of their discouragement and harsh labor.” (Exodus 6:9)
The Israelites, blinded by their present disappointments and tough circumstances, missed the good news. In your sadness, fight to remember the good news—even if you have to ask a friend to remind you of what’s true. And since I’m your big sister for the time being, here are some reminders:
Jesus gets it. He sees you. He hates that you’re facing those feelings and circumstances, and he’s with you. (Hebrews 4:15)
It’s not forever. Jesus told us life on this earth wouldn’t be smooth sailing. (John 16:33) But the rough waters aren’t forever. (Revelation 21:4, Psalm 40:1-3, 30:5b)
And He’s King over it. (1 Corinthians 15:57)
The reminders are important because it’s not enough to just vent. In fact, venting can actually be dangerous. Proverbs 29:11 says, “a fool gives full vent to his soul.” So, all those frustrations or circling thoughts you need to air out? Make sure you run them through the truth of God’s Word and that you’ve got a friend or pastor nearby to help shepherd you. It’s healthy to let other people into the things you’re thinking and experiencing, but it’s unhealthy to air them out and breathe them back in again. Take in truth.
God does something special in the pressing.
John Piper says to savor, or treasure, the special promised nearness of God that comes when storm clouds seem to move in over our lives. And I found that frustrating for two reasons. One, because God’s felt pretty far at times over the past year. And two, because he basically said, “enjoy this season, because you’ll miss it when it’s gone.” I was honestly like, “Are you kidding me John?! Enjoy sadness?!”
He wasn’t kidding, because Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is near to the broken-hearted.” He’s near. He stores up our tears and doesn’t let anything come into our lives on accident. (Psalm 56:8; Colossians 1:16-17) But even though He knows our days better than we do, He still wants to hear from us—and that’s one way we experience that special nearness Piper was talking about.
There’s a special intimacy that comes when we honestly pour out our hearts to God. The goal of prayer isn’t to change God’s mind. It’s an opportunity to trust Him with the honest desires of our hearts—even when they aren’t met. He cares about you. He wants to talk to you. He’s for you. Remember that. If you’re a believer in Christ’s life, death, burial, and resurrection, you’re on God’s team.
And here’s the deal. This pressing is for your good. And I know that’s the last thing you want to hear. Because it’s a lot harder to believe God works everything for good, when life doesn’t feel very good. (Romans 8:28) But, those times when life doesn’t feel great, could possibly be some of the most formative, valuable, refining, faith-strengthening, and developmental times of your entire life. Romans 5 tells us that God uses the hard circumstances in our lives to strengthen our character and solidify our hope—and this hope “doesn’t put us to shame.”
So regardless of whether the sadness you’re currently facing has been caused by your own poor decisions, another person, or it’s just the cards you were dealt, you can trust that God is up to something through it. We might not always understand it, but when we can’t see what God is doing, we can be sure that when it’s all said and done, we’ll be glad He did. (Isaiah 55:8)
Emma is on staff at Watermark Community Church, home of The Porch, a Tuesday night ministry that reaches thousands of young adults across the country. Emma graduated from Texas A&M with her undergraduate degree in English and continued her education, by studying the Bible through the Watermark Institute. In her free time, Emma, being passionate about her generation knowing the story of scripture and how to study it, creates equipping resources for her peers. You can find out more by visiting understandingmybible.com or by visiting her Instagram, @_emmadotter_
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