by Blair West | Jan 25, 2024 | Featured, Life Advice
Oh how easily I attempt to avoid the “sting” of conviction for my own complacency and comfort. I think in our world of constant distraction, it’s easy for all of us to ignore or grow numb to the gentle conviction of the Holy Spirit. We grow complacent. When we are complacent, we don’t welcome conviction.
Complacency results in a lack of desire to change, or the belief that one doesn’t need to change. Conviction disrupts our complacency. I’ve learned that we as humans do not love to be disrupted or interrupted, especially by conviction.
We get comfortable in our sin, so when conviction hits, we turn the other way and pretend we didn’t feel it… or at least I do at times. To be honest, over the last year, I have grown so distracted that I wasn’t necessarily “pretending” that I didn’t feel conviction, I was actually too overwhelmed by my distractions that I didn’t think I had the capacity to dig deeper when conviction hit. I knew the conviction would require me to sit and reflect, but my distractions told me I didn’t have time to do that, so I continued on, and “ignored” the conviction of the Holy Spirit telling me to slow down, reset, and release control.
The sting of conviction often hurts so much we don’t want to acknowledge the root of what’s going on deeper…the fear of having to change, the fear of giving up control, the fear of turning from a life that has grown to be incredibly comfortable, the list goes on.
I’m sure we have all found ourselves here at some point in our lives…maybe you are in this place right now. If this sounds familiar to you, I want to send some encouragement today.
A GOOD STING IS A GOOD THING.
Let me say that again. A GOOD STING IS A GOOD THING.
Conviction may sting, yes. It may be uncomfortable and not feel so great, but it is a GOOD thing because it is from the Holy Spirit. When we are convicted, it means that God is reaching His hand out and wanting to refine us. He is bringing attention to our sin or ways in which we have turned to things other than Him for fulfillment, so that we can turn from that and turn toward Him. This is called sanctification, meaning “set apart to be made holy and purified.”
I think sometimes we confuse the two words conviction and condemnation.
Conviction is from the Holy Spirit.
Condemnation is from Satan.
Conviction leads us to repentance. Condemnation overwhelms us with guilt and shame.
The good news is that in Christ there is NO condemnation. Satan has no say in our sanctification process because Christ has made us new, calling us holy and setting us free from the enslavement of sin and death.
Romans 8:1→ “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death…”
It never “feels” good when I am convicted and have to acknowledge the complacency I have fallen into because of the entanglement of my sin. But, conviction always leads me to the feet of Jesus where I humble myself and acknowledge my need for Him. But, it requires that I slow down and really sit in what the conviction is revealing that is going on deeper within me. There is always a root of our sin, of our complacency, and of our need to be distracted. And when the root is discovered, that is where the joy and beauty of refinement is really experienced.
May we not be women who run from conviction, but rather embrace it and thank God for the grace and mercy He pours out on us, so that we are not overcome by guilt and shame. May our distractions cease when conviction comes, so that we can rest in the kindness and mercy of our Father, knowing that He is refining us and making us more like Him as we allow the Holy Spirit to dig up the ways in which the world has distracted and numbed us.
Gosh, conviction is never fun, but it is always beautiful because it’s a picture of the kindness of God offering us the chance to be sanctified and renewed each day. LOVE YOU GUYS!
xo, Blair
by CC Calbonero Lutz | Jan 23, 2024 | Featured, Life Advice
Have you stopped believing that God could do it?
Well, you’re certainly not alone. I recently just moved out of my dream apartment and I am still in awe at it all…
In 2021, I moved to Nashville as an absolute leap of faith. I had one friend that I knew in this city and endless nudges from God whispering to just go… I remember quite literally saying, “well, what’s a year?! Let’s give it a shot. If I love it I’ll stay and if I don’t… California will always be there.”
I had no idea what exactly God would do with that whisper…
Blessings began to follow that little act of obedience– opportunities for work opened up, 1 studio in my dream apartment became available, and every little detail came together with an unmatched ease and joy. Now hear me out, that first year wasn’t necessarily perfect, but if one thing was clear, it was the fact that I was supposed to be in Nashville for longer than just one year. God had bigger and better plans.
–
It was a typical Sunday attending the Belonging Co. 9am service, where I sat with my good friends, Jay and Reagan. It was Reagan’s last Sunday at church before she moved back to North Carolina and we all had plans to grab a cup of coffee after church. What I thought was a “typical” Sunday was actually the beginning of a beautiful story that God had planned far beyond I was even born (Psalm 139:16). I think it’s safe to say that day I was standing in the middle of an answered prayer.
“Hi, my name is Jonathan.”
“My name is CC!”
On our way out of church we ran into Reagan’s friend, Jonathan Lutz. With excitement in her voice she said, “Omg, Jonathan meet CC and Jay… CC and Jay meet Jonathan! I’ve been wanting y’all to meet!!”
Between us girls, I thought that Jonathan was so cute– and after 2 weeks, the Lord’s beautiful story began to unravel even more. I felt called to sit alone at church that Sunday, to later find that Jonathan would coincidentally sit 2 seats down from me. After a small invitation to a post church hang and an exchange of numbers… we later went on our first walk, first date, and after 3 months of intentionally dating we became ~official~.
Fast forward 1 year later and we were ENGAGED with numerous God moments to tell our future kiddos on how God so beautifully wove his love, grace, and favor throughout our story. (Pst, I’m telling y’all there are SO many little details that point to the goodness of God, I feel like I can write an entire BOOK on it all!)
_
Friend, God can do it.
Oftentimes, it’s up to us to keep believing that He can (John 11:25-26). I’ll never forget a line Chad Veach shared on Whoa That’s Good, “When you’re walking in the will of God, Heaven is at your back.” There is so much truth in that statement that I have seen come into fruition in my own life. I think God DELIGHTS when we step out in faith into the unknown. Afterall, Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen right?! (Hebrews 11:1-6)
When I said yes to God and moved to Nashville, of course I had the hopes of meeting my future husband, building a community and continuing to advance the kingdom of God. But, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that sometimes fear would try to creep into my mind and heart and tell me that these things weren’t possible for me…
I praise God that I can now stand on the other side of all those fears with a holy confidence that says, “If I’ve seen God do it once, I know He can do it again.” Which brings me back to the first line of this blog…
I moved out of a place that was once my dream apartment, only to step into a new dream apartment that I had always hoped for… only this time I get to walk into this season as a WIFE.
God is so so good.
Don’t stop believing.
CC is a wife, podcast host, social media strategist and writer. Her passion has always been to spread JOY and make heaven more crowded. A few of her favorite things are local coffee shops, yummy cookies, thai food, and any time spent with family and friends!
Keep up with CC on Instagram @ccalbonero!
by Jennie Allen | Jan 16, 2024 | Featured, Life Advice
Let me ask you a question: Have you ever had a disproportionate emotional response to a situation that should not have affected you in such a dramatic way?
Let me ask you one more: Have you ever stopped to think about what the reason for that response could be?
There are always things beneath the things. We are not simple creatures. Even those of us determined to live steady, unemotionally charged lives are shaped by a million small moments that stay with us. Those moments shape who we are and how we think and how we react—and, yes, how we feel—in a given moment to a given circumstance.
Among the many things I’ve been learning and want to share with you in the pages to come is that those revved-up reactions tell a story—a story about something we’ve lived. They point to a deep-seated something that has gone unaddressed in our heart.
We experience something impactful. We react to that thing by stuffing our feelings or minimizing our feelings or ignoring how we feel altogether. Then something else comes our way, something that’s not even that big of a deal, and we lose it. We unload on a loved one. We catastrophize. We ugly cry, heaving until we can barely breathe.
And then we regret what we’ve done.
Why did we freak out?
Why did we demean our spouse?
Why did we shame our kid or yell at our roommate?
Why did we make that insane assumption and blame and threaten and walk right out the door, slamming it behind us as we left?
What was that all about? What was underneath it all?
Short answer: a lot, as the science and the Bible will show us.
Somewhere along the way, maybe from things I heard at church or just from growing up, I learned I wasn’t supposed to be sad or angry or scared. I was supposed to be okay, so I needed you to be okay too. Or maybe it’s just because I hate the feeling of being out of control and I believed these feelings were too scary and sitting in the hard felt . . . too hard.
Every time I experience sadness, fear, anger—emotions I’ve been conditioned to not want to feel—my brain immediately moves to fight off the feeling like it’s a virus. My brain attacks the feeling, judges it, condemns it, and tells me why I shouldn’t feel it at all. It tells me
that it is all going to be okay. It barks out all these orders about what I need to do so that I can finally stop feeling the feeling.
Worse still, sometimes when you share with me your sadness, fear, or anger, I do the same stupid thing to you.
I’m sorry.
It’s wrong and I’m sorry. Your feelings, my feelings, are not evil things that need to be beat back.
Feelings can’t be beat back, by the way. Even if you’re the most effective stuffer ever to live, the very best at stuffing feelings way down deep, so far down you believe they can never be found, I’m here to tell you those feelings don’t go quietly. The people who know you know that they’re there. If you are honest, you know they’re there too.
That hint of rage you felt toward your dad, the fear of rejection you felt with your family, the striving that has exhausted you at school or work, the jealousy that creeps in whenever you are at that one friend’s house, the bitterness that flickers when you talk about why you don’t yet have kids, the despair you feel in your gut every time you think of the person you love buried underground— I know you think you packed all those things safely away in a box so that you won’t have to see them again.
But inevitably they pop out at unexpected times, like over a lovely dinner when your daughter is just dreaming beautiful dreams.
Whatever the triggering situation, at some point the next day or the next week or sometime even later than that, you look back on the catalyst—and on your response—thinking, Why on earth did I say (or do) that?
You wonder, How on earth did those feelings sneak up on me? You wonder why they didn’t play fair. The truth of the matter? They were playing fair.
Or playing predictably, anyway.
Because those feelings are tangled up with something very real in your past or present, something that absolutely is a big deal to you, whether or not you’re ready to admit it.
Feelings can’t be beat back.
They can’t be ignored or dismissed.
They are trying to tell us something.
To read the full chapter, click HERE 🙂
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Jennie Allen is the founder and visionary of IF:Gathering as well as the New York Times bestselling author of Untangle Your Emotions, Find Your People, Get Out of Your Head, Made for This, Anything, and Nothing to Prove. A frequent speaker at national events and conferences, Jennie is a passionate leader, following God’s call on her life to catalyze a generation to live what they believe. Jennie earned a master of biblical studies from Dallas Theological Seminary. She and her husband, Zac, have four children. Excerpted from Untangle Your Emotions: Naming What You Feel and Knowing What to Do About It. Copyright © 2024 by Jennie Allen. To be published by WaterBrook, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC, on February 13, 2024.
by Sadie Robertson Huff | Feb 2, 2023 | Featured, Life Advice, Relationships, Wisdom
As we recently shared the first Sisters and Friends episode of the year, I figured it was only fitting to share it with you here on the blog! My mom and I sat down to talk about all things relationships, community and marriage. Here’s how it went!
I wanted to talk to mom about the things that she walked through and learned in her college years because I know many of you are college students navigating that season of life. But even if you’re not a college student, we unpack so much more in this episode to tune in for.
First off, we dove into discussing mom’s relationship with my dad. They began dating at a young age and quickly decided they were going to get married. However, right before they took the next step, they broke up and soon after, mom went off to college. Mom went into college with a lot going on, such as the breakup, a new city, meeting new people, etc. So, I asked Mom to describe what that was like as she began a new journey with all those emotions.
Mom mentioned how crazy it is that it’s been 32 years since she and my dad began dating. She was 17 years old at the time and they both instantly knew they were in it for the long haul. They’d been in youth group together and had basically grown up together since third or fourth grade. Because of this, marriage was talked about within the first couple months of their relationship. They decided to get married the following summer, and when they mentioned it to Mom’s parents, it was clear that they didn’t see it as the best idea. After all, Mom and Dad had no plan and no money. They were genuinely living on love. Plus, mom DID have a scholarship for college to Harding University, where her parents had gone. So, her parents had a point. Looking back, mom sees the wisdom in the things they were saying. But at the time it was really difficult. At the end of that summer, mom chose to go to college. Well, Dad had decided that if Mom went, they were going to break up. So, they did, and mom was devastated. She cried all the way to Harding and one of her friends came and stayed with her in her dorm for a few days to console her.
I love that her friend came and stayed with her because in those moments it is so important to bring community in. And often those are the times that we push community out because we don’t want anyone to see us in a vulnerable state. Mom talked about how vital it was for her to have someone she could truly open up to during that time and help her through a season of major transition.
I asked Mom to talk about the process of her and Dad getting back together. She said that two weeks after the breakup, Dad called her dorm room and said he’d had a change of heart and that maybe long distance wouldn’t be so bad after all. He basically poured out his heart saying he wanted to get back together. Mom said it was a really great regrouping time for them as a couple for her to say “I love you, but there are things that need to change in our relationship.” She used that to encourage anyone who might be in a similar situation. She mentioned that it’s not always the answer to breakup. Sometimes it takes just sitting back and admitting there are some things that just need to be restructured. Well, Mom and Dad ended up getting back together, but Mom did let Dad sit in it for about an hour before she gave a final answer to him.
The truth is, you need people like Mom’s friend who you can confide in, knowing that they love you and your partner equally and want what’s best for both of you. You need friends who will trust you enough to believe that your partner is a good person, and it might just be a bad moment.
A couple months ago, Christian and I were walking through a really difficult time. A lot had been going on and it was just chaotic. We needed to get back on track, so I suggested that we start taking communion in our house. Well, at the time, we’d been ignoring and not wanting to address many of the things we were walking through. So, our first communion in our house was when everything we had been feeling came out. It was certainly a hard conversation, but I find it beautiful that when we came to Jesus, truth came out. Although it wasn’t necessarily pretty, it’s what needed to happen. I love that because this scripture speaks to the situation so well:
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” (Matthew 18:15)
Next, we dove into the topic of roommates. Mom’s freshman year of college, she had a roommate she’d never met before, which is extremely common. Many people either move into an apartment or college dorm with someone they’ve never met. Sometimes it clicks and it works, but sometimes it’s difficult. Eventually, mom became really close with her roommate, even though they were a lot different. She actually ended up being a bridesmaid in Mom’s wedding. I asked Mom to talk a bit about what that was like. She only had one semester with a roommate before she married my dad. But she said even that one semester helped her so much because when my brother Will went to college, he’d been planning to room with one of his friends for years. Initially, when he found out he was going to have a third roommate, he was not thrilled. But mom was able to share her experience with him encouraging him to have a positive mindset about the situation! Mom reminded us that in situations like these, you have to trust that through others, God is going to teach you something. Oftentimes, people try to get out of these situations before God has time to work in them. Mom encouraged everyone to give it a full year in college for God to do something, whether it be the roommate, the major, or whatever else you may be having difficulties with. And then if you still don’t think you’re where you need to be, make a move.
You have to give it time for your roots to grow. When I was little, I would take apple seeds and plant them outside my house. But I never marked where they were, so I could never properly water them. I think about how I was throwing seeds in all different places, and I gave none of them time to nurture and grow. I think a lot of us do that. We are unwilling to stay in one place and water that soil and see what beauty grows from it. Because we get frustrated by the process, we just go to the next place and plant new seeds. But you’ll never get the tree unless you stay and water that ground. There’s a process to growing where you’re at. There’s a process to community. There’s a process for most things. Mom talked about how difficult it was when my sister Rebecca moved here from Taiwan. Her first semester was incredibly difficult because she had broken English, wasn’t making friends easily, and was struggling to stay in contact with her family because of the time difference. If she’d been given the option after the first semester, she probably would’ve chosen to go home. But the second semester rolled around and she was thriving. She was making friends, going to prom, and having a great experience. Now, she’s been here for 16+ years and is married with two kids!
Back to the roommate situation, I wanted to mention that not everyone is going to be your best friend. This is something I’ve had to learn as I’ve gotten older. Some people might be a great friend. You can still laugh and have fun with them, and even cry with them. But they don’t necessarily have be your best friend. And then some people will be your best friend, and often when that happens, it just comes naturally. For instance, my friend Laney will always be one of my best friends, and it came naturally. All of this to say, you don’t have to put pressure on any of your friendships to be your very best one. You have to be content and confident in the relationship you do have with your friend.
I wanted to circle back around to my mom and dad’s relationship. Once they got back together, they got married the following January. So, by Mom’s second semester in college, she and Dad were married and Dad was beginning his first semester in college. The following summer, they actually went to Hawaii with Mom’s parents as their honeymoon, since they didn’t have much money. Three months into marriage, they still didn’t have a set in stone plan, and they were still broke. I asked mom to give us a picture into what that season looked like, the silly arguments over money, and the types of meals they would eat on a budget. Mom mentioned just how tight their budget was. She and Dad worked at a call center for a while. The people who call and ask you for money — that was my parents. Eating out was not an option, except for the occasional Little Caesar’s pizza for cheap. Monday’s menu was hotdogs with hormel chili. Tuesday’s was fried frozen chicken. She remembered one time when she and Dad were in the grocery store, they had $5 left over from their grocery budget and Dad wanted to buy a pack of baseball cards and she wanted to buy a magazine. It turned into a full out fight over who would get to spend the extra money.
Here’s another example. Some of Mom and Dad’s friends had loaned them a washer and dryer, so they wanted to do something nice in return. They took them to dinner at Shoney’s and it cost $40, which was way out of their budget. Mom said she still remembers the feeling of seeing the check and wondering how they were going to eat for the rest of the week. I love that she mentioned this story, because nowadays I feel like there’s so much pressure on young wives to have it all together. They’re expected to have all the snacks cut in the perfect shape and to be both healthy and perfect. Seeing how perfect other people’s meals can be through social media and other outlets will feel like you’re not doing your role well enough. But sometimes, there are seasons in life when ramen noodles and hotdogs will just have to do. For example, during this season of my life, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is a great dinner. Cereal is just fine. Mom pointed out that looking back on the moments she shared, they’re such sweet and fun memories. Take note of all the ways you grow and the things you learn during those times in life.
One thing I love about my parents’ relationship when they were first married is that even though they were broke, they still had fun. It didn’t keep them from being hospitable. Many people think they can’t be fun or hospitable because they don’t have anything or they might not have the “coolest” house. Mom spoke into this topic well. She said the first time they had a couple over in their tiny apartment, she made spaghetti. However, she had no idea how many noodles to make to properly accommodate the amount of spaghetti sauce. So, needless to say, there were plenty of noodles left over. Dad began throwing spaghetti noodles at Mom, which turned into a full on food fight with their friends. There were noodles everywhere, even until they moved out of that apartment. They would have holiday parties at their house and everyone would bring something, which usually consisted of rotel cheese dip and hotdogs. The fact is, people don’t care what your house looks like. They care about being together.
Mom reminded us that we have to be the one to invite people sometimes. So many times we sit around and get sad because people aren’t inviting us places, but it might just be that you need to invite people to do things. Christian and I found ourselves in the place when we first moved back to Louisiana. I was throwing myself a pity party because we weren’t getting invited to a Bible study our friends were having. But then I had an epiphany — Why don’t I start a Bible study. I could be the one to text and invite them over, and now we’re all great friends! Mom chimed in with some good advice. She said that if someone says no when you invite them, don’t take it personally. Invite somebody else!
I wanted to mention that Mom was an Art Major in college. While here and there, she’ll use her artistic ability, for the most part she isn’t really using her degree. I think someone needs to hear that because often in college, you think, “this is it.” You think that if you make a wrong decision, you might miss the call of God on your life. I just want to remind you that you cannot miss it if you’re truly following the Lord. I love what 2mama posted recently. She said that if you’re doing whatever you’re doing for the glory of God, then you’re doing what He called you to do. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself now to think that whatever you decide now will determine the rest of your life. It might shape your life, but it won’t be the end all be all. God has your future and God has your now.
I hope this is all encouraging to you! Here are some questions to think about as we wrap up:
Look at the people around you in your life. How can you steward those friendships well?
How can you use what you have to have fun and to host well?
How can you work towards growing in your relationship, even if that means restructuring things?
Where are you that you actually need to water the ground where you’re standing? Seeds can easily be thrown in the ground, but you need to take some time to be intentional and see growth.
by Darcy Clark | Oct 27, 2022 | Featured, Life Advice
Note from Team LO: We are SO excited to bring you this month’s post from our LO sister member + ambassador, Darcy Clark! If you want to be a part of this incredible community, you can join today! Find out more about this online sisterhood HERE. And for more info about what LO sister is all about, visit our Instagram Page!
Now, enjoy today’s post from Darcy 🙂
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Jesus is after our heart’s affection, not our religious acts.
This past week it weighed heavy on me how so many of us fall into this mindset that if the bible is not the first thing our eyes see in the morning or what our mind spends time with it’s a bad day, or even the extremities of how our minds wonder to placing us on this scale that doesn’t even exist deeming us a “bad christian” because we missed one day or a week in His word.
There is no score keeping, leadership board for the religious acts you do or the culture of christianity you play apart in. What matters is your heart.
The enemy wants to convince you are a “bad christian”, isolate you, and keep you in this nest of swarming thoughts about not being good enough.
..Okay now that we know what the enemy tries to do can you accept the grace from Jesus you have full access to and remind yourself you are apart of the winning team, the team that already won, and release whatever lie about yourself you are hanging on to.
The reality is you are going to get tired, you are going to hit an off week, your heart and soul are going to get tired — faith is not easy!
Spiritual disciplines like bible reading, quiet times, praying are a few of the best ways I know to grow in my relationship with my Heavenly Father —— but seriously what good is it to beat myself up every time I fall short of putting these things into practice.
There is a difference between guilt and conviction. guilt and shame for falling short are not from God, His arms are wide open ready to embrace you and wanting you to keep on. Conviction is that check engine light feeling, keeping us in lockstep with Jesus and away from things that destroy us by the Holy Spirit within us.
“The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you.” Romans 8:11
The SAME Spirit of God, lives in YOU. Lean on God always, in your strongest seasons and your weakest seasons.
Keep on. Shake up the routine when you grow numb to it. Read a verse a day — start somewhere.
When we feel that our religious acts have outweighed our affections for Jesus — reevaluate. Let that be your check engine light!
You are loved by God. You have access to a relationship with Him that isn’t rigid.
Please don’t wear the weight of having to be perfect inside of your relationship with your Maker, it will exhaust you.
Darcy Clark is a member of Team LO! She is a Jesus follower and friend to many. She enjoys coffee sipping, exploring, and writing. She is an aspiring author, current dreamer. Darcy attended Texas A&M University and has since moved to Louisiana to be a part of Team LO.
by Anne Wilson | Oct 25, 2022 | Featured, Homepage, Life Advice, Wisdom
When Uncle Steve was finished reading, it was my turn. I stood from my seat on the front pew and began to walk to the piano onstage. I took one slow step after another up the red-carpeted stairs, a shaky nervousness filling my body. It was the same sensation I’d felt for days, only magnified. I reached the piano and turned to look out across the sea of faces in the crowd. Friends and family members look back at me with tears in their eyes. Had I not been feeling such a dark sense of loss, I would have been thrilled to see so many loved ones gathered in such a majestic place. It was beautiful, but I couldn’t appreciate the beauty of it. I was overwhelmed by both the ache of goodbye and seeing hundreds of people staring at me. A few friends gave me encouraging nods as I took a seat. It was time to worship my Jesus.
I took a deep breath and smoothed my dress to calm my shaking hands. I was about to sing fir the first time in front of twelve hundred people. Would I even be able to make it through? Would my hands stop shaking enough to let me play?
As I gently placed my fingers on the keys, I looked up to God for a brief second, imploring Him for help. At that very moment, God removed every nervous feeling from my body. The fear and worry were gone. Thank You, God! With a heart suddenly at peace, I took in a deep breath and prepared to sing.
As Carson, Hayes and I began to play the intro to the song, I heard God’s voice again. His words, interjected at such a pivotal moment, would change my life completely: Anne. This is what I’m calling you to do. I’m calling you to praise and worship My name.
I had no doubt the voice was the Lord’s. I will never forget those words.
With a confidence that could only come from God’s spirit, I began to play and sing “What a Beautiful Name,” a song that magnifies the powerful, wonderful name of Jesus. The song speaks of His longing for us to join Him in heaven and tells of His victory over death and the grave. The song was a cool drink of water to my parched soul, and I prayed it was the same for everyone who heard it that day.
That day, I sang for Jacob, and I sang to worship my Jesus. Without tears, without stopping, and without breaking down, I offered my song for them both. The ability to sing such powerful words at such a sorrowful time without breaking down was only possible through God’s strength and His Spirit. Now, more than ever, my family and I wanted to praise the name of Jesus. We all realized in a terrible and wonderful way how short life really is and how it can change in an instant. We longed to to tell the world of the hope found in Jesus’ beautiful name. I knew that was what Jacob would want too.
I lifted my fingers from the keys as the final notes of my song rang through the sanctuary. I exhaled a deep sigh of relief. The faces I had just feared were smiling at me through tears. Many held tissues to their eyes.
As I returned to my seat, Good impressed another thing on my heart: I would never be an astronaut. I have called you to a life of worship through music, He said. I could never have imagined that God would speak to me about my future at such a moment, and even less that He would call me to a life of music. But somehow, I just believed Him. In that moment, I had no doubt the Lord would fulfill this calling on my life. I knew that meant I wasn’t going to be an astronaut, and I was okay with that knowledge. In the aftermath of losing Jacob, the dream of being an astronaut didn’t seem important anymore. With Jacob in heaven and a huge hole in my heart, I barely had a will to live, much less to pursue the dream of going to space. I did not feel an ounce of grief at the thought of leaving that childhood dream behind. I actually felt peace. The desire to go to space was simply gone.
Losing Jacob changed everything, including my dreams for my life. I now knew I would have a future in music, worshipping and praising the name of Jesus. God must have given me a gift of faith to accept such a sudden change in direction and believe that He would fulfill that calling. I had no idea how or when His new plan for me would happen or what that calling would entail. I just knew it would be. Someday. Because God said so, and I believed Him.
Anne Wilson grew up in Kentucky with her parents and two siblings, Elizabeth and Jacob. Her family’s Christian faith sustained them through the tragic loss of Jacob when he was only twenty-three years old. She is passionate about writing and singing songs that draw others to Jesus. Anne’s debut single, “My Jesus,” became the #1 Christian song of 2021 and won the Breakout Single of the Year at the 2022 K-LOVE Fan Awards, where Anne also won Female Artist of the Year.
