What’s That You Say?
You all have shown so much excitement over my book, “LIVE”, coming out in TWENTY ONE DAYS, that I wanted to share one of my favorite chapters from the book! This is so you don’t have to wait twenty one days for encouragement that your life is valuable, seen, and worth living. If you want my book in your hands come Feb. 25, pre-order it now!
One time when Christian and I were dating, we went out for a walk, which we love to do, but we found ourselves in an argument. I was telling him something I wished that he would have remembered to do, and his response was, “I suck.” When those words came out of his mouth, I got so upset. I had shared with him before that it really makes me sad when he speaks negative things over himself. Well, this conversation just kept going downhill and ended with me saying, “That is it. You walk that way. I’m walking this way.” As I turned to walk away, Christian said, “You said you would never walk away.” As I type this, I see how dramatic we were both being, but thinking back on this story, I cannot help but question why Christian and I both said and did things that neither of us truly meant or believed.
I remember hearing a cheer at a football game that started with a group of people yelling something for another group to act out; the other group yelled in response, “What’s that you say?” and then the first group repeated what they said and proceeded to do that action.
“What’s that you say?” is a great question. Being challenged about what we say is helpful because it makes us think about whether we are confident in the words we speak. Sometimes we say things we don’t really mean. Stopping to think about whether we would repeat them can cause us to examine what’s in our hearts and make sure our words align with it, and then make sure our words and our heart align with our actions.
So I want to ask you today, “What’s that you say?” I mean, what are you talking about—to yourself and to others? What kinds of actions are your words sparking? Are they bringing life or death? Are you even confident in what you are saying?
Now I want to offer you a visual, so to speak, of what the words of life and the words of death look like:
The words of life empower. The words of death destroy.
The words of life encourage. The words of death cause people to lose heart.
The words of life affirm. The words of death tear down.
The words of life give hope. The words of death cause despair.
The words of life are confident. The words of death are powerless.
The words of life are full of hope for the future. The words of death replay the pain of the past.
But wait. There’s more. Let’s go a little deeper. Just as a tree has roots that run deep underground, the words you speak have a root system too. You can look at a tree and see if it’s healthy or not by looking at what it produces. If it’s leafy and green and full of good fruit, you can bet it has a strong root system. If it’s dry and brown, its roots aren’t nourishing it as they should. Likewise, you can figure out what your root system is by the fruit of your lips—the words you say (Hebrews 13:15). Let’s look at some common roots of life and death.
The words of life are rooted in a place of security. The words of death are rooted in a place of jealousy.
The words of life are rooted in knowing you’re loved. The words of death come from feeling unwanted.
The words of life are rooted in feeling content. The words of death come from never being satisfied.
The words of life are rooted in being confident in who God made you to be. The words of death come from striving to do more to find your worth.
The words of life are rooted in knowing you are accepted just the way you are. The words of death come from feeling rejection.
The words of life are rooted in peace. The words of death come from fear and anxiety.
The words of life are rooted in a positive attitude. The words of death come from a negative outlook.
The words of life are rooted in caring about others. The words of death come from focusing on yourself.
It’s important to look at what your words are rooted in so you can be confident in knowing how they impact you and how they affect others.
XO,
Sadie
Excerpt from “LIVE” (Ch. What’s That You Say?). PRE-ORDER TODAY TO GRAB YOUR COPY!
How I Prepared for My Wedding Day
Preparation= showing up.
Do you know how long weddings have been around? The first record of a wedding was roughly 4,350 years ago in Mesopotamia. That’s a long time! Having just come off my own wedding season, I think to myself, “How did they do it without The Knot?” Truth is, weddings require a lot of preparation that happen long before the special day.
Thousands of years after that first ceremony, Jesus sat with his 12 best friends on the Mount of Olives telling his own version of wedding day preparation in Matthew 25:1-13:
“Then the Kingdom of Heaven will be like ten bridesmaids who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. The five who were foolish didn’t take enough olive oil for their lamps, but the other five were wise enough to take along extra oil. When the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and fell asleep.’
At midnight they were roused by the shout, ‘Look, the bridegroom is coming! Come out and meet him!’
All the bridesmaids got up and prepared their lamps. Then the five foolish ones asked the others, ‘Please give us some of your oil because our lamps are going out.’
But the others replied, ‘We don’t have enough for all of us. Go to a shop and buy some for yourselves.’
But while they were gone to buy oil, the bridegroom came. Then those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was locked. Later, when the other five bridesmaids returned, they stood outside, calling, ‘Lord! Lord! Open the door for us!’
But he called back, ‘Believe me, I don’t know you!’
So you, too, must keep watch! For you do not know the day or hour of my return.”
During our engagement season, I was so interested in the ancient Jewish marriage customs. And just like any story, I wanted to know the context behind this parable.
And all I can say is….wow. Their preparation was insane! Jesus was not exaggerating in this parable (when does he ever?!)
EVERYDAY the bridesmaids had to fill up their oil for their lamp for whenever the bridegroom would return.
EVERYDAY the bride had to get ready as if it was her wedding day. She had to bathe, she had to smell good, she had to look her best JUST IN CASE the bridegroom would show up… making that day their wedding day. She even had to wear her veil everyday as a representation of her waiting.
AND EVERYDAY the bridegroom was off, preparing the home for them to live in. He worked hard before his marriage to prepare the space that they would call home and start their life together.
And when the bridegroom finally returned, it was sooo exciting because of all the months of preparation. When he showed up, there was no doubt that everyone was prepared and ready, including the bridegroom himself.
I love this story because I was surrounded by a similar heart of preparation during my engagement to Christian.
Just like the parable, my bridesmaids prepared for the wedding. They threw Christian and I such a special shower. They showed up for my bachelorette party in New York. They prepared speeches as our rehearsal dinner, and they even prepared letters to me to send us into marriage. They showed up for me by their preparation.
I also prepared myself. I took my personal fitness seriously and got a trainer and took care of my skin (something I didn’t do for years!). I wanted to feel healthy and confident knowing that marriage was coming. My motivation wasn’t so much just looking good (even though ladies, it is OKAY to want to look good for your man), more than that, I wanted to feel good, full of energy, ready for my groom and for the adventure of marriage.
I also prepared with my time. During engagement, I would work in advance to get things taken care of so that when Christian was in town to see me, I didn’t have to work as much. I wanted to be able to give him and our future marriage the time and attention it deserved. This gave us time for things like pre-marital counseling, fun dates, long talks, and being present during our engagement season to prepare for the wedding!
I prepared in these ways so that when the day came (like I knew it would), I would be the best version of myself.
Christian was also preparing. He was diligent with his schoolwork, he was planning his (our) future, he was making calls to mentors further ahead of him seeking out advice and wisdom that he has now brought into our marriage. He wanted his heart to also be ready.
It was so beautiful seeing the ways he prepared for his bride and I prepared for my bridegroom.
Another example is the preparation by Louie and Shelley! The amount of time, effort, prayer, and intentionality that went into preparing us for our wedding was such a sign of love and support. We had so many conversations with them as mentors during our engagement. We all wanted to make sure that our ceremony details were what we wanted it to be. Full of the Holy Spirit and clear of our covenant to one another. They wanted to show up, I mean really show up (fully present), on our wedding day ready, along with Christian, our wedding party, our family and everyone in attendance!
So many times in life we want to “wing it” with events we KNOW are coming. It’s easy to think that we can coast into an important moment in life, but the truth is there is something so beautiful about preparing for how you’re going to show up. Especially when it’s for someone you love.
When you love somebody, you want to give them your best.
When you love somebody, your heart longs to give away your time, your energy, and your intentionality, not just receive the best from others.
Needless to say, our engagement season taught me SO much about preparing for Jesus.
When Jesus comes back, the parable says that the bridemaids weren’t ready, even though they knew that the groom would inevitably return. Because of this, they weren’t able to enter into the moment of his return.
This story constantly pointed me back to this idea: “Knowing that Jesus will inevitably return, how can I prepare to love Jesus for when He comes”?
Just like everyone prepared for the wedding day, we also all must prepare for the coming of our Bridegroom.
I don’t know about you, but I want to show up when Jesus comes. And showing up is so much better when you’re prepared.
In the parable, the reality is that yes, it is a lot of about preparation, but that’s not the end goal. The end message is all about preparing well so that we can celebrate.
Celebration can only happen if you’re ready to step into it.
I can promise you that if we, our family, wedding party, officiant, and wedding planner, hadn’t put in the months and months of preparation, the celebration wouldn’t have been even close to what it was on November 25th.
And let me tell you friends, our wedding was the best celebration I’ve ever experienced in my life.
But I know, and I hope you know too, that even our best earthy celebration (even though it had heaven all over it), isn’t even going to be able to touch the celebration that will happen when Jesus comes back to claim His bride. And friend, you are the bride.
So let me ask you, as the bride of Christ, does your preparation now reflect your readiness to celebration when the times comes?
XO,
Sadie
Proverbs 10
Who is ready for Proverbs 10?!
Get excited about this word, because it is good! Some of you may know that I have a podcast called, Whoa, That’s Good!. The concept of the podcast is to ask influential people this question, “What is the best piece of advice you have ever been given, and how did it shape who you are and what you do?” I feel like chapter 10 of Proverbs is a Whoa, That’s Good episode with Solomon, because everything is so good! There are actually so many good one-liner-lessons in this chapter that I decided it would be more like putting some important tools in your toolbox, as my bible study leader used to say, than a one topic lesson. Each verse in this chapter speaks for itself. Let’s dive in!
Verse 2 (TPT): “Gaining wealth through dishonesty is no gain at all. But honesty brings you a lasting happiness.”
I was in an uber once and could tell the guy who was driving me was upset. I ended up getting into a conversation with him where he told me that he is the emptiest person I will ever meet. I asked him why he felt like that way and he began to share his story. He said, “I thought if I moved away from my family and made money then I would be happy. Now, I have more money than I ever thought I would have, but I am emptier than I have ever been.” This is a guy who moved away from everything in search for happiness through money and ended up with nothing. I think that uber driver is a prime example of who this verse is speaking too. I’m not saying he earned his money dishonestly, but he learned that money doesn’t bring happiness.
Verses 4-5: “Slackers will know what it means to be poor, while the hard worker becomes wealthy. Know the importance of the season you’re in and a wise son you will be. But what a waste when an incompetent son sleeps through his day of opportunity!”
Here is a link to a sermon I preached called Don’t Waste The Waiting. It is echoing all that this verse is saying. Sometimes, in expectation of what we want God to do in our future season, we sit down in the season we are currently in. It is SO important we do not get lazy. God has so much He can teach you RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE and those are the things that will prepare you for what is to come.
Verse 9: “The one who walks in integrity will experience a fearless confidence in life, but the one who is devious will eventually be exposed.”
My mom told us when Duck Dynasty started not to hide anything, for hidden things carry the danger of exposure. Whether what we were trying to hide was ever exposed or we constantly worried that it would be exposed, life would be miserable. Either way is not a fun way to live. My mom’s advice and this verse, I can say from personal experience, hold true! I have been able to experience, and even write about, living with a fearless confidence by living honestly and authentically – not perfect – but with integrity. The definition of integrity is the state of being whole and undivided. When you chose a path and walk into it wholeheartedly (again not perfect, but honest) a sense of confidence follows.
Verse 12: “Hatred keeps old quarrels alive, but love draws a veil over every insult and finds a way to make sin disappear.” Verse 17-19: “If you readily receive correction, you are walking on the path to life. But if you reject rebuke, you’re guaranteed to go astray. The one who hides his hatred while pretending to be your friend is nothing but a liar. But the one who slanders you behind your back proves that he’s a fool, never to be trusted. If you keep talking, it won’t be long before you’re saying something really wrong. Prove you’re wise from the very start— just bite your tongue and be strong!”
PREACH. You may want to read these verses again! I put them together because sometimes a lot of little pills are hard to swallow and it’s better to just take them all at the same time! I am going to ask you some questions to think about to help you navigate through these verses.
- Who can you choose to love instead of replaying what they did to you over and over in your head?
- How well do you handle correction?
- Who can you choose to bite your tongue around, to make your relationship right again? Good friend, Elizabeth Hasselback, says, “May we never be so right that we are wrong with people.”
- Who do you need to be honest with?
Here’s something important to remember: Do the hard thing to be the right person.
I will end with the last verse in chapter 10.
Verse 32: “Words that bring delight pour from the lips of the godly, but the words of the wicked are duplicitous.”
Choose words that bring delight to those around you. It will make their day!
Air Traffic Control
I spend a lot of time in the airport. The airport is arguably the best people watching place, right up next to Disney World and Wal-Mart. The airport is full of people excited for where they are going, running to catch their flights, in matching Hawaiian shirts, in business suits, and of course, lines of people STRESSED.
When people are stressed, it tends to cause people to get mad, and that anger is normally directed to the people at the counter. If you have flown then you have seen it – a flight gets delayed or canceled, the line at the counter piles up, and the gate agent has to listen and deal with the frustration from a lot of angry people.
One day as I was sitting watching the angry line build up and the gate agent listening to all the complaints, frustration, and unbelief that a flight had been pushed back. I thought to myself, “it is not her fault.” In fact, she probably does not actually know the reason the flight was delayed or canceled because she’s been standing at the gate the whole time dealing with the people on the ground.
Everyone is frustrated with who they see because of the screen they see behind her saying delay, yet the reality is THERE IS A REASON FOR THE DELAY.
This is when I had a realization of air traffic control. There are these people that none of us in the airport, with our oneway track mind, can see and who don’t even consider to blame. These people who see every direction the planes are trying to go from the perspective of the sky so that they can make sure people on the ground can get to where they’re going safely. Their call to delay your flight, because of what they see in the sky, that we are so frustrated on the ground about, is probably literally saving your life.
You see where I am going with this, right? When we get delayed in life or feel like the dreams we had, the success we wanted, the relationship we wanted gets delayed or even canceled we get stressed and then we get angry. We get angry at the people around us and we get angry at ourselves thinking we aren’t good enough or we must have done something wrong. We blame everyone around us because of everything we see around us. Sometimes we even take this anger and get mad at God. But, I want to challenge you with that anger – would you get mad at air traffic control?
The reality is if we stopped long enough to consider why the delay happened we wouldn’t blame the gate agent (the one we see in our way) and if we knew what air traffic control was saving us from (the man in the sky) we would be filled with gratitude.
We forget that we only have the grounds perspective and a oneway track mind when it comes to getting where we are going. It is so important we remember God sees our future, all those who we cross paths with, and is considering everyone’s life plan from the sky’s perspective.
Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV says,
“”For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.””
Take a few minutes today before the frustration hits from the stress of you feeling like you need to get where you think you should be and thank God for where you are at now. There is a reason. He will get you where you need to be at the right time you need to be there.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV