I read a quote the other day that said, “What if the Lord allows us to experience human failure in heartbreak so that we can better understand His vast love for us?”

Thinking back on my past heartbreak experiences, through different seasons of life, I can confidently say that is the truth! The Lord has allowed me to walk through hard relationships, meet people who I thought was, “the one” and get my heart broken time after time. I was the girl growing up that said, “the first person I date, I want to be the one I marry!” Butttt…the Lord had other plans. Several failed relationships later, I am here, overwhelmingly thankful that was not the case.

I am now the girl that “loves” breakups. Sounds crazy, trust me, I know! But hear me out. The greatest lessons I have learned about my personal relationship with the Father was taught through times of heartbreak. The seasons where I experienced the most growth, refinement, and change, were seasons after that failed relationship with “the one.” The times when I have seen my closest friends flourish were the times after she finally broke up with the guy our friend group knew was not good for her. I love breakups.

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18).” This verse has often been used to comfort me during times of heartache. However, after I read the quote mentioned earlier, this verse has a whole new meaning.

Perhaps the Lord is near to the brokenhearted because He first allowed us to experience human failure of love to better understand His.

Perhaps the Lord is near to the brokenhearted because we must first be broken to be made new in Him.

Perhaps the Lord is near to the brokenhearted because His heart breaks with us.

Perhaps the Lord is near to the brokenhearted because He is refining our character, our definition of love, and our purpose to better align with His word.

This time last year, I went through a hard breakup. It is wild to be at a place where I can talk about it as part of my testimony and share the beautiful lessons the Lord allowed me to learn through that time. Total transparency though, this is not easy. This relationship was everything from “That’s the Way I Loved You” to “All too Well” (Swifities, you know the references) Over the years of us together, the Lord made it more and more clear that we were not for each other, so we broke up.

At the beginning of 2023, I would have never put on my “resolutions” list for me to go through yet another failed relationship. I thought 2023 was going to be the year I got married, graduated, and settled down. That is what I dreamt for myself.

However, as we know the Lord has plans of His own and man, am I thankful for that!

Instead of those things happening, the Lord took a situation that was destined for heartache, depression, and failure – and completely flipped my world upside down to be the best year of my life. Just to give you a glimpse…I went through heartbreak, got the opportunity to be an LO ambassador (wooohooo!!!), went to Thailand, called into missions, moved out of my childhood home into “the cottage” with my best friends, changed my major from Public Relations to a missions degree, and so much more.

When I say I am thankful that it is His plan and not my own, I mean it!

I share this with you only to say, none of that would have been possible without the first thing on that list; “heartbreak.”

It was not the relationship itself keeping me from experiencing these things, it was my lack of keeping my priorities in line to truly see what all the Lord had in store for me. The opportunities were there all along, I just needed to fix my heart, mind, and soul on Him to see them. I was too focused on the relationship I was in and not my relationship with the Father, everything was clouded and blurred. I was letting a human relationship that was inevitably going to fail me, define love for me and was not relying on God’s perfect, unfailing love.

It is evident when it is not from God. I mean how confusing would it be if God gave us peace about every relationship we got into? When we finally meet the one He has set apart for us, it will all make sense. We will have an undeniable peace that this is the one that will be an addition to my walk with the Lord. We will see how that person is better for us and for the greater good of His kingdom. It will be peace upon peace, no convincing necessary.

But sometimes, unfortunately, it takes going through the first thing on that list, to truly know it when we see it. Because of heartbreak, I better know the character and love of God.

I have seen human love fail me, and that is ok! It is part of it. But because of His word, His love letter written from His heart to ours, we know His love will never fail us.

Psalm 73:26,” My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

So, friend, this Valentine’s season, whether you are single, dating, heartbroken, engaged, or miss independent – I hope you can look back on the heartache and be thankful. Be thankful that the Lord allowed you to experience human failure so that you could better know His love for you. Be thankful it took a few failed relationships so that you could better recognize true love when it came into your life. Be thankful you have learned to guard your heart. Be thankful that you have gone through tough times so that way you can better relate and help others. Be thankful that each time you have gotten your heartbroken, the Lord has used that to redefine your definition of love to align with what it says in His word.

Because of heartache, we better know His love.

So, when I say I love breakups, it is because I have seen the Lord turn it around for good, time and time again!

Hey hey LO fam! My name is Raylee Evans and it is a joy to be here with you! I am a Senior Public Relations major at Lee University, which happens to be right in my hometown, Cleveland, TN! I am the second oldest of six in my family, which makes life so fun – never a dull moment! You can either find me on the pickleball courts, drinking coffee, or planning a last-minute trip. I currently work at Ever After Bridal as a bridal consultant, give campus tours at Lee to upcoming students, and I also have a little photography business on the side as well. I am a multi-passionate gal with a lotta dreams, 27 to be exact! My biggest prayer is that whatever dream I am pursing, that I am spreading His love, His joy, and His truth with everyone I come into contact with. Again, it is a joy to be here so thanks for being apart of one of those 27 dreams!