by Kayla Nordlum | Jan 20, 2026 | Featured, Life Advice, LO Library
This is for the girl who is tired of waiting. The one who is worn out, weary, and exhausted from hoping for something that doesn’t seem to be coming. The one who has prayed the prayers, believed the promises, and wondered how much longer her heart can hold on.
Hang in there. Don’t give up. Because God has a SUDDENLY story for you.
Just a little bit about me—I am 35 years old, and I have wanted to be married my whole life. I have memories of playing dress-up and imagining my wedding day from a very young age. Marriage was never just a dream to me; it felt like a calling written on my heart.
I have been in several relationships throughout my life (I even wrote a book about it), and for a long time I believed marriage would happen much earlier for me. I thought by now I would be telling a different story—one with a ring, a husband, maybe even children. Instead, here I am, still waiting.
And while waiting is not easy—while it can be frustrating, painful, and lonely—I live with a beautiful hope. A hope that one day, at the perfect time, in God’s perfect timing, suddenly, I will meet the man I was always meant to marry.
Waiting doesn’t mean I don’t struggle. It doesn’t mean I don’t have days where I feel discouraged or forgotten. But I’ve learned something powerful: my hope is not in the thing I’m waiting for—my hope is in Jesus.
And because I know He is good, I trust that if He’s asking me to wait, then He has purpose in the waiting. God is not wasting a single moment. He is shaping, refining, and preparing us in ways we often can’t see yet. And one thing I know for sure—God can move fast.
All throughout the Bible, we see story after story of people waiting on God… and then suddenly, everything changed.
“On the day Pentecost was being fulfilled, all the disciples were gathered in one place. Suddenly they heard the sound of a violent blast of wind rushing into the house from out of the heavenly realm.” Acts 2:2 (TPT)
“Peter was sound asleep between two soldiers, with additional guards stationed outside his cell door, when all at once an angel of the Lord appeared, filling his prison cell with a brilliant light… ‘Hurry up! Let’s go!’ Suddenly the chains fell off his wrists.” Acts 12:6–7 (TPT)
“Paul and Silas prayed in the middle of the night and sang songs of praise to God… Suddenly, a great earthquake shook the foundations of the prison. All at once every prison door flung open, and the chains of all the prisoners came loose.” Acts 16:25–26 (TPT)
Hopelessness is heavy. It steals your strength and clouds your vision. Sometimes it’s hard to see tomorrow, let alone believe in “better days ahead.” Maybe your pain feels too deep to escape right now. Maybe it feels unimaginable—almost impossible—that things could ever get better.
But wait.
Your suddenly story may be closer than you think.
I’ve learned that God does not work slow or fast—He works perfectly. And when He moves, He often moves suddenly.
Suddenly, the upper room was filled with the wind of Heaven. Suddenly, the chains fell off Peter’s wrists. Suddenly, an earthquake shook the prison’s foundation.
And suddenly, God can move in your life too.
Suddenly, the promotion could be posted. Suddenly, the doctor could call with a report of healing. Suddenly, your future spouse could walk into the room. Suddenly, your offer on a home could be accepted. Suddenly, you could find out you’re pregnant.
Suddenly is one of God’s favorite ways to work—because He gets the glory.
When life feels unbearably hard, and you’re tempted to give up, remember this: your suddenly story is not forgotten. It is not delayed without purpose. It is being prepared.
Don’t underestimate what God can do in a single moment. I have seen firsthand how God can do more in one act of obedience than in years of my own striving and control. Waiting isn’t easy—but He is faithful. And He always keeps His promises.
So don’t quit. Don’t lose heart. Keep planting. Keep believing. Keep trusting.
“And don’t allow yourselves to be weary in planting good seeds, for the season of reaping the wonderful harvest you’ve planted is coming!” Galatians 6:9 (TPT)
Your breakthrough may be closer than you think. Your miracle may be right around the corner. And your suddenly is still coming.
by Kayla Nordlum | Aug 27, 2025 | Featured, Life Advice, LO Library
I was stuck in toxic cycles most of my life. I went guy to guy to guy trying to find someone to fill the whole in my heart that later I learned only Jesus could. Can you relate? I was thirsty if you know what I mean. My story is the woman at the well. Constantly thirsting with no relief. UNTIL, I met Jesus and he changed everything for me, and I mean EVERYTHING and now I can’t stop talking about him.
I wrote a book called “The One that God Away”. It’s written about my life story and my toxic relationship cycles, with biblical truth wrapped throughout it. It centers around one of my favorite books of the bible and one of my favorite chapters, specifically Jesus with the Samaritan Woman or what some translations call, the woman at the well, and I believe we can learn a lot about who Jesus is and His character by this story in John 4.
I won’t share the whole story in John 4 here although it’s a good one, and definitely worth you reading all of it on your own, however, I do want to highlight a few things that I learned:
1. Jesus pursues. John 4:7 NLT reads,
“a Samaritan woman came to draw water, and Jesus said to her, “Please give me a drink.
What I find so beautiful about this simple verse is that the Samaritan woman didn’t start the conversation, Jesus did.
He pursued her, and not only did he pursue her, he went out of his way and outside of social “norms” to pursue her. For context, at this time, Jews wanted nothing to do with Samaritans and they would not have been seen together, let alone a Jewish man and a Samaritan woman. It was a reckless pursuit, and he still recklessly pursues you today. When your making choices that honor Him and when you’re not. He still pursues. He is the same yesterday, today and forever, so when you read about his pursuit of her, you can read it as his pursuit of you as well.
Brandon Lake has a beautiful song called, “Greater Still” that has been on repeat in my head lately, the lyrics go,
“You saw me at my lowest moment
You saw me at my very worst
When I expected disappointment
Love was all I heard
My sin was deep
Your grace was deeper
My shame was wide
Your arms were wider
My guilt was great
Your love was greater still”
It’s a beautiful reminder that nothing can separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:31). He not only loves, but he pursues us so that we can experience his love that is so great.
2. Jesus gives. John 4:10 NLT reads:
“Jesus replied, “If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water.”
God has a gift of living water for each and every one of us. What is living water? Maybe you are asking today in the same literal way that the Samaritan woman asked Jesus, “but you don’t have a rope or a bucket.”
The living water that Jesus is talking about here in John 4 is a metaphor for the eternal life that God has gifted to each believer, a well that never runs dry. We live in a broken world with a hole in our heart, a thirst, that only Jesus can satisfy.
When we drink of this living water that Jesus talks about, we can know that we will never be spiritually thirsty again. He satisfies our every desire. His plan for us was not just for salvation but to quench our thirst here on earth which is what we are seeing in this story.
What a good gift, right? The ultimate gift if you ask me – And as we all famously know from earlier in John, God gives the best gifts, He gave His most prized possession, His son for you (John 3:16). I would say He’s a pretty good gift giver.
3. Jesus sees. John 4:16-18 NLT reads,
“Go and get your husband,” Jesus told her.
“I don’t have a husband,” the woman replied.
Jesus said, “You’re right! You don’t have a husband—for you have had five husbands, and you aren’t even married to the man you’re living with now. You certainly spoke the truth!”
I get emotional every time I read this part of the story, because Jesus sees all, and knows all, even the messy parts, and your messy parts aren’t too messy for Him. When Jesus reveals something from our past to us, it doesn’t come with shame or condemnation, it comes wrapped in love, because He is love. He doesn’t come to expose you, he comes to expose the darkness, your enemy.
My story is similar to hers. I struggled with finding my worth, I looked for it in men and titles, and just like her was caught up in toxic cycles, until I met a man named Jesus who promised me living water, and just like her, everything changed.
But there is a tension. A tension between a good God and a fallen world, and if you’re not aware that both occur at the same time, you will be set up by the enemy to snatch away the very thing that God just birthed in you and your salvation and sanctification.
If I’m honest, I believed a very common lie that maybe you have believed as well that once you encounter Jesus and work according to his purpose, you won’t suffer or if you do, it won’t be that bad. Or to take it a step further that you will be blessed immeasurably more than you can think or imagine. Which is true but not necessarily in the right context.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
This is not an “if” we will have trouble but it’s a “will”, we will have trouble – even after we encounter Jesus and surrender our whole life to him, because as you see in the first part of this verse, in Him we will first have peace, BUT, we will also, at the same time experience trouble.
I don’t think we are prepared as new believers for the heaviness of sanctification, of pruning, of the wilderness seasons, and then of seasons that include traps, temptation, and testing.
“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around lie a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8
You know who in my opinion I believe the enemy likes to devour? New “on-fire” believers. New believers who are passionate about being in the will of God and understand the call on their life. So don’t be surprised when you meet trouble or want to give up because we know the character of God and we also know the character of our enemy.
“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” John 10:10
When we experience heaviness, sadness, heartbreak after encountering Jesus without the knowledge that these things can be expected, it can cause us to either give up on the leading of the Holy Spirit or worse on Jesus altogether. I want to prepare you for something different. I want to prepare you for the battle, the spiritual battle that you will walk through after a real encounter with Jesus because call me naïve, call me “young in the faith” lacking biblical understanding, but I was not prepared for the heartbreak that this life throws.
I wish we could meet Jesus and never struggle again. I wish we could meet Jesus and never be tempted or tested again. I wish we could meet Jesus and then meet our future spouse right away or walk into the promise that we had been praying years for, but sadly, that is usually not the story, but God is faithful and he promises that he is with us through it all. I wouldn’t want to do this life any other way.
by Kayla Nordlum | Aug 20, 2024 | Breakups, Career & Future, LO Library, Waiting
I was in the middle of a counseling session years ago after a painful breakup pouring my deepest worries out to my counselor, “What if I lost something good? What if the pain never goes away? What if I never heal? What if I never get married?” I was getting more and more worked up when she stopped me mid-sentence and asked me something that forever changed my perspective on worry, “What if?”. I shockingly replied, “Exactly, WHAT IF! What if all these worries turn into realities? That is why I’m here!”
She then kindly responded, “I understand all of that, but I am only hearing your worst-case what ifs, I have yet to hear your best-case what ifs.” Confused, I said, “Well that would be silly, I wouldn’t worry if I thought of the best-case what ifs”. “BINGO!”, she said.
Worry is fixating on the potential problems of the future, while fixating on the potential goodness of the future eliminates worry entirely – and although worry gives the illusion of control, Jesus explains in Luke that worry adds nothing to your life. In fact, it takes life away from you.
“Does worry add anything to your life? Can it add one more year, or even one day? So if worrying adds nothing, but actually subtracts from your life, why would you worry about God’s care of you?” Luke 12:25-31 TPT
But while God is on mission to help you find the abundant “worry-free” life, the enemy is also on mission to do the exact opposite.
“A thief has only one thing in mind—he wants to steal, slaughter, and destroy. But I have come to give you everything in abundance, more than you expect—life in its fullness until you overflow” John 10:10 TPT
If the enemy can’t destroy you, he will distract you and he distracts by keeping you busy with things that don’t matter. Maybe you’ve heard this acronym for busy: Being Under Satan’s Yoke. If he can keep you busy with worry, he doesn’t have to destroy you, you will destroy yourself.
But there is good news! We have power over our enemy. We have power over our worry. We have power over our thought life and what we believe about the future. It’s not going to come naturally, but it is more than possible to experience victory on this side of heaven! It just takes time, practice, and the word of God.
“We can demolish every deceptive fantasy that opposes God and break through every arrogant attitude that is raised up in defiance of the true knowledge of God. We capture, like prisoners of war, every thought and insist that it bow in obedience to the Anointed One.” 2 Corinthians 10:5 TPT
Stop believing the lies that the worst is going to happen and start believing the truth that God is up to something good, because He is!
“So we are convinced that every detail of our lives is continually woven together for good, for we are his lovers who have been called to fulfill his designed purpose” Romans 8:28 TPT
So, what can we do? I love practical help because this all sounds great, right? But as we know we aren’t transformed my knowledge alone but applied knowledge. I learned to flip my thoughts from worry into worship and it greatly transformed my thoughts and therefore my life.
I started with an inventory. You can’t fix a problem you haven’t identified. In my phone notepad I wrote down every worst-case what if I had about my future, next to that I wrote the exact opposite best-case what if, and next to that a scripture to back up every lie the enemy had me believing:
What if I lost something good?
What if I lost something that was blocking my something good?
Romans 8:28
What if the pain never goes away?
What if I experience a deep closeness with God through my pain?
Psalm 34:18
What if I never heal?
What if God uses my journey of healing to help others?
Matthew 9:37
What if I never get married?
What if God uses the wait to strengthen me?
Isaiah 40:31
What if I go through another painful breakup?
What if the next one I meet is my future spouse?
James 1:17
Now when the enemy shows up with lies about my future, I remind him who is really in control.
Can I pray for you?
God, thank you for this beautiful sister and friend. Thank you that you care for her so deeply that you sent your son to die so that she could have a relationship with you. We pray that you help her worried mind and bless her with a peace that surpasses all understanding. We know that the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but you came so that we could have a full abundant life not just in heaven but here now, so we thank you for your peace that is accessible now. God be with her as she takes inventory of her thoughts and makes them submit to you. Give her the strength to turn her worry into worship and allow her life and her testimony to help others who worry. We ask for all of this in your name, AMEN.
A bit about the author:
Hello sister and friend! I’m Kayla Nordlum! I was born and raised in Portland, Oregon and now live in the beautiful state of Arizona, where the sun really never stops shining!
My story might be similar to yours, for years life felt empty, confusing and disappointing. Unmet expectations left me stuck and hopeless. I struggled to trust that God had good plans for my future because I constantly replayed the mess I made of my past. BUT GOD.
Through a personal relationship with Jesus I realized it was never about what I did or what I would do, but everything to do with what He could do through me. I decided to fully surrender to the Lord in May of 2020. Through my act of obedience, I watched toxic relationship cycles end and negative mindsets slowly transform. God finally had my FULL heart and life was now EXCITING. I had vision, passion and purpose that I could not come up with on my own.
In August of 2020, I started a business called Worth More Co. (@worthmoreco). A space to remind women to never settle in life, love, or faith + it’s been so amazing to see what God has done and what he is doing with this sweet little community, PLUS I create fun merch, and who doesn’t love that?!
Writing has always been healing for me, I have journaled almost daily since I was young, but I never felt qualified to write for others (doesn’t God always use those people?) In January of 2021, I got serious about writing my first book (“The One That God Away”) and it’s almost ready to be released! God is so faithful and kind, He really has the best redemptive stories!
Now more than ever I know that with God THERE IS MORE + I’m super passionate about helping women find the MORE in their stories too.
XO
by Kayla Nordlum | Mar 11, 2024 | Life Advice, Wisdom
The battle is not yours to hold.
Are you in the middle of the battle of your life? Maybe it’s a health battle and you just received some life altering news, maybe it’s a relationship battle and you’re at a crossroads wondering if you should stay or go, or maybe it’s a financial battle and you’ve lost the income you’ve relied on – and now in the middle of this battle, you can’t seem to shake the feeling that YOU have to figure it all out on your own, but the battle is not yours to hold.
God has a lot to say about our battles, and I want to encourage you with a story of God taking ownership of a battle, giving His people the victory over it, and using it to help strengthen their faith and trust in Him.
In Exodus 14, God calls His people out of slavery in Egypt, and in this story the Israelites have just begun their journey when they encounter the biggest battle of their lives and face death with 600 Egyptians charging them to bring them back to the place they just left. The people are so fearful in this moment that they ask Moses, “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? Didn’t we say to you in Egypt, ‘Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians’? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!” (Exodus 14:11-12).
Have you said something similar to God? “God, why would you provide this job just for it to be taken from me?” “God, why would you bring me this spouse just to have them cheat on me and leave me to parent alone?” “God, why would you heal my cancer just to have it come back?”
The Israelites said the same thing, “God, why would you give us the hope of a life outside of slavery just to have us die on our way to it?”
And as the Israelites were shaking in fear with death looming right in front of them, Moses answered the people with something monumental that changed their perspective in the battle of their lives:
“Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” (Exodus 14:13-14).
What are the commands we see in this passage? Have no fear, stand firm, and be still.
What are the results we see in this story? God takes ownership of their battle, He gives them the victory, and He uses it so they have a deeper trust in Him.
- God takes ownership of the battle. It’s not your battle to hold. It’s His. The people of Israel started to freak out because they believed it was THEIR battle to figure out and then blamed Moses and assumed they were going to die. In the scripture above, Moses reminds them of two things, one – to not be afraid, and two – to be still because God is the one that fights on their behalf. We also see these two things again in 2 Chronicles 20:15, “Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.”
- God gives us the victory in the battle. He goes before us and guess what? We win! We may not see the victory of our battle in the way we want to see it or in the expectation we have, but we do have a promise that He goes before us, behind us, and beside us to fight our battles, and we are promised the victory. In this story, the people of Israel were saved from the Egyptians who all died in the middle of the sea that God parted for them to cross. In Deuteronomy 20:4 we are reminded again that we have the victory over our enemies, “For the Lord, your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.”
- God uses the battle. He’s a good God and even though He does not like our pain or want us to struggle, He uses it for the good of us and others. God used this story and what the Israelites witnessed to change their view on their battle and on Him, and in that they ended up trusting God and Moses to continue to lead and guide them. Later Paul writes something similar to the Romans in Romans 8:28, “God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”
Maybe the battle you are currently walking through doesn’t seem to have a way out or a good ending, but that is exactly what the enemy wants you to believe – that you are stuck in this forever, that there is no way out, or even that you will die like the Israelites thought, but as we see God is a God of promises, and He promises that you are not alone, that the battle is His, that you will see a victory, and He will not only use it to strengthen you, but to strengthen people around you.
God, we pray right now for the woman reading this who is currently in the battle of her life, give her daily strength to surrender this battle over to you, just as we have seen in this story in Exodus, your victory doesn’t always look like how we thought it would, but you go before us, behind us and beside us to protect us, to give us the victory and to use not only the good parts of our story, but the battles as well. Thank you, God for all you have done for us and all you will continue to do. We love you and trust you today and always. In Jesus mighty name, amen.
A bit about the author:
Hello sister and friend! I’m Kayla Nordlum! I was born and raised in Portland, Oregon and now live in the beautiful state of Arizona, where the sun really never stops shining!
My story might be similar to yours, for years life felt empty, confusing and disappointing. Unmet expectations left me stuck and hopeless. I struggled to trust that God had good plans for my future because I constantly replayed the mess I made of my past. BUT GOD.
Through a personal relationship with Jesus I realized it was never about what I did or what I would do, but everything to do with what He could do through me. I decided to fully surrender to the Lord in May of 2020. Through my act of obedience, I watched toxic relationship cycles end and negative mindsets slowly transform. God finally had my FULL heart and life was now EXCITING. I had vision, passion and purpose that I could not come up with on my own.
In August of 2020, I started a business called Worth More Co. (@worthmoreco). A space to remind women to never settle in life, love, or faith + it’s been so amazing to see what God has done and what he is doing with this sweet little community, PLUS I create fun merch, and who doesn’t love that?!
Writing has always been healing for me, I have journaled almost daily since I was young, but I never felt qualified to write for others (doesn’t God always use those people?) In January of 2021, I got serious about writing my first book (“The One That God Away”) and it’s almost ready to be released! God is so faithful and kind, He really has the best redemptive stories!
Now more than ever I know that with God THERE IS MORE + I’m super passionate about helping women find the MORE in their stories too.
XO
Kayla
Keep up with Kayla on Instagram @kaylanordlum
by Kayla Nordlum | Jul 12, 2022 | Healing, Life Advice, Wisdom
Let me just start by saying, HEARTBREAK SUCKS, but unfortunately it is part of the human experience, and as awful as heartbreak is, it’s important. We need pain as an inner-warning to stay away from things that will and can continue to hurt us, so this blog isn’t about not experiencing heartbreak, but about avoiding unnecessary heartbreak.
Heartbreak is going to happen to you (super positive start I know, but keep reading) whether self-inflicted or an unexpected incident it just is, but it doesn’t have to consume your everyday life. YOU CAN get out of the cycles of constant heartbreak, and step into a full life where you learn, with Jesus, to guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23).
It’s not going to be easy, but I want to help you break up with self-inflicted heartbreak.
Whether you are currently in a season of heartbreak or have recently walked through it, you know that the pain of a broken heart is almost worse than the pain of a broken arm. I believe if we polled the audience right now and asked the question, would you rather have a broken arm or a broken heart? We would get an overwhelming response of people who would take the broken arm.
Why is that?
I believe it’s because the healing process of a physical injury is more straight-forward than the healing process of an emotional one.
We want results now, and we definitely don’t want to wander into an unknown healing process with no end date. So, why does my heart break? Am I alone in my heartbreak? How do I stop breaking my own heart?
Glad you asked. Let’s dive in.
Why does my heart break?
Heartbreak was never a part of God’s original design. In Genesis 1, God created human beings in his image and then He rested and saw that it was all very good. Heartbreak is what happened in Genesis 3, when sin came in and filled the world. Now pain, heartbreak, and trouble is a part of our everyday lives, even though that was never the intent for our human experience.
Although heartbreak is not a new concept, scientists have recently discovered the connection between emotional and physical pain is greater than originally realized.
It seems silly to think that that was just now realized when the Bible has said that all along – I mean ask anyone who has been betrayed, lied to, cheated on, I’m guessing 10/10 they will tell you they felt unpleasant physical symptoms from such an awful emotional experience.
In studying about heartbreak and the connections between emotional and physical pain, I found that Dopamine and Oxytocin are the hormones released when we “feel good”, which then makes us want to repeat certain behaviors to release these hormones over and over again, this is also commonly described as the feeling of “being in love”. On the other hand, when we experience heartbreak, loss, or betrayal, another hormone is released, the stress hormone called cortisol. This is the fight or flight hormone, and too much of this hormone can cause extreme unpleasant physical symptoms such as anxiety, panic, nausea, weight gain, or weight loss.
The reason I bring all of this to your attention is that we are not helpless in stopping the cycles of heartbreak. Yes, heartbreak is inevitable, but there are ways to avoid self-inflicted heartbreak, and knowing the connection between our emotional experiences and physical symptoms are important in combating and stopping unnecessary heartbreak.
Am I alone in my heartbreak?
You are not alone. Unfortunately, every human on this planet experiences heartbreak in some way. It may not all be at the same level, but heartbreak is unavoidable for each person, but taking it further than that – I believe two of the greatest lies the enemy tells us is: you are alone in your heartbreak and no one has ever been as heartbroken as you.
I’m going to debunk both of those right now:
Lie #1, you are alone in your heartbreak.
Truth: God is near to you, he’s close to you, he’s close to the brokenhearted, the ones who are crushed by the weight of this world. You read that in Psalm 34:18,
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
In Psalm 56:8 you read another powerful truth,
“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”
So, the next time the enemy comes at you with “you’re alone in your heartbreak”, come back at him with God is always close to me and not only is He close, He collects my tears and records each one.
Lie #2, No one has ever been as heartbroken as you are right now.
Truth: Many people in scripture have struggled with devastating heartbreak.
In 1 Samuel 1, Hannah was grieving her heart’s unfulfilled desire to get pregnant, in 2 Samuel 11, Bathsheba had just suffered the sudden loss of her husband who was killed in battle, and many more stories of grief, loss, and heart break flood the Bible.
The enemy knows that when we realize that we aren’t alone and that other people have suffered just as bad if not worse, we then feel a relief, peace, and comfort in our heart break (Revelation 12:11):
“And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony.”
That is why sharing your story is not only important for your healing, but important for others to heal.
Stop believing the lies that you are alone or that no one has experienced pain like you, people in scripture all the way to present day are with you, fighting for you, and have experienced the same things you are currently experiencing. You are not alone.
How To Stop Breaking Your Own Heart.
We all know we can’t fully control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to it.
But what if I told you, you had more control of the pain you feel than you think.
Hear this. We are not responsible for the pain, trauma, and heart ache that happens to us, but we are responsible for feeling it, processing it, healing from it, and overcoming our hurts, habits, and hang-ups that lead us back in the arms of the very heart break we hate to experience.
This is in our control.
In the physical sense, if you get in a car accident because you are speeding, the chances of getting in another car accident from speeding go way down, why? Because you felt the pain of the accident, healed, learned and stopped the cycle.
In the emotional sense, it’s different, and you see this a lot: say you get in a relationship with someone emotionally unavailable, they never open up, you feel alone, isolated, and worthless, you end the relationship, feel the pain of heartbreak, then without even another thought and because society tells you, you get right back out there, and what do you know… you meet someone else emotionally unavailable.
But why? Didn’t you just go through that? Yes, but you stopped at step one, the heartbreak.
You didn’t feel it, process it, heal from it and stop, you just covered it up and got right back out there, you wouldn’t do this with a broken arm now would you? You wouldn’t break your arm and go to work the next day like it didn’t happen, so why do we do this with emotional wounds? How can we stop breaking our own hearts?
#1 Feel. After you experience heart break, feel it. Cry it out. Give yourself an allotted amount of time to just really mourn the loss, betrayal, breakup, etc. Don’t rush the feeling, embrace the pain, and allow the pain to lead you into processing it.
#2 Process. Find the root. Why did that hurt you like it did? Is there something from your childhood that triggers you? Are there insecurities that have creeped back up because of this heart break? Also, it’s hard to process alone. Talk about your heartbreak with trusted others and allow the process to lead you into healing.
#3 Heal. Once you have felt the hurt, processed the hurt, now it’s time to heal from the hurt. Talk to a therapist, find good community, serve at your local church, get into your word, listen to worship music, let God heal you from the areas you now know you need healing. Start with prayer and believe in faith that God can heal the very parts of you that are broken because He can, and after healing, allow that to redirect you to stop the cycle.
#4. Stop. You now have felt what you needed to feel, processed, healed and now it’s time to stop the madness – to stop the cycle. You are healed so walk in your healing. Walk in the faith that God is a God of redirection and new purpose. There is life after heart break and not just a life where you survive, but one where you thrive.
I hope this encourages you to pursue healing and stop the very cycles in your life that are causing you to break your own heart. Heartbreak doesn’t have the final say. Our God does.
Hello sister and friend! I’m Kayla Nordlum! I was born and raised in Portland, Oregon and recently moved to Phoenix, Arizona, where the sun really never stops shining!
My story might be similar to yours, for years life felt empty, confusing and disappointing. Unmet expectations left me stuck and hopeless. I struggled to trust that God had good plans for my future because I constantly replayed the mess I made of my past. BUT GOD.
Through a personal relationship with Jesus I realized it was never about what I did or what I would do, but everything to do with what He could do through me. I decided to fully surrender to the Lord in May of 2020. Through my act of obedience, I watched toxic relationship cycles end and negative mindsets slowly transform. God finally had my FULL heart and life was now EXCITING. I had vision, passion and purpose that I could not come up with on my own.
In August of 2020, I started a business called Worthy Women Co. (@worthywomenco). A space to remind women to never settle in life, love, or faith + it’s been so amazing to see what God has done and what he is doing with this sweet little community, PLUS I create fun merch, and who doesn’t love that?!
Writing has always been healing for me, I have journaled almost daily since I was young, but I never felt qualified to write for others (doesn’t God always use those people?) In January of 2021, I got serious about writing my first book (“The One That God Away”) and it’s almost ready to be released! God is so faithful and kind, He really has the best redemptive stories!
Now more than ever I know that with God THERE IS MORE + I’m super passionate about helping women find the MORE in their stories too.
XO
Kayla
(@kaylanordlum)
