welcome to the live original blog.
Sadie Rob in the house! Welcome to my first heart to heart with y’all via blog post on the LO website. I could not be more excited for this journey. Disclaimer: I am not a counselor and do not have a degree, but I do have Jesus in my heart. I allow the Holy Spirit to lead, and I will speak to my personal experiences of what I have learned through God the father – always turning my weakness into His strength. I want you to know that I will not be holding back from speaking truth over the many lies that the enemy speaks to us in the world today. Jesus is always able to speak truth over every lie, no matter how deeply rooted the lie goes, and that is one of the reasons I admire His love so much.
I have made it my mission to seek out wisdom from the truth, and I want to share with you some of the truths I’ve found in my own life. I sincerely hope it will speak over the lies you may be walking in today. In Ephesians 4:25, it says, “ So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body.” So that is exactly what I will do on this blog. That brings me to the first lie I want to discuss – the deception of the word passion in a relationship. Sadly, I fell for this one. At one point, I began to believe that the essence of passion was emotion. Where you fight but make it through and kiss to forget. It was a love that was formed from the hard times.
We were so … “passionate” – and to me, it seemed like that couldn’t possibly be a negative thing, because I heard the word passion at church all the time. That was a huge LIE and created so much confusion for me. I thought our connection was so deep because we created this false love for ourselves that said it was okay to constantly fight like cats and dogs, scream hateful words and cry till our eyes were swollen. All we’d have to do afterwards is share a kiss, make up and then boom – our relationship would be stronger than ever. That was wonderful and all…until the next throw down came which was inevitably not too far around the corner.
We would go through this unhealthy pattern of “I hate you, I love you. I hate that I love you.” The world makes that seem like such a normal, attractive concept through movies and music, but let me tell you, it definitely is not. We figured out the hard way that all it leaves you with is a lot of hurt, loneliness and confusion. You can go with the media’s version of passion, but I’m speaking from experience here when I say that even if it survives and the relationship lasts, you will be living for temporary moments of happiness and gratification instead of true joy.
So, ask yourself…is your goal in life to just get by and make it through, or do you want to experience true love and joy in a relationship? Let me go a step further. Maybe you’re sitting here thinking “Yeah, I get it…this relationship is not necessarily the best, but we have already been dating for so long…and oh, Sadie, our good moments are so good, and our chemistry is just off the charts. Oh, and when we kiss…I still get butterflies. I can push through and survive the other 20 out of 24 hours that aren’t so glamorous.”
If this sounds like you, or you literally just told your accountability partner this when they questioned you, then you my dear are living in a temporary survival mode in your relationship. If you experience moments of happiness and little things that help you hold on, but then find yourself experiencing pain that goes beyond what is healthy in a relationship, then you are living with a false passion. Although it is normalized in our society, I want you to know that fear, jealously, pain, selfishness, impurity, manipulation and degrading comments are all UNHEALTHY components in a relationship and should not be considered normal.
Things weren’t always like that in my past relationship. We knew how to have fun. We laughed uncontrollably, danced in public and sang karaoke in the car. We ate ice cream and cooked pancakes before climbing on the rooftop to watch the stars say their final goodnight. We were free to be the best version of ourselves around each other, and let me tell you… I so adored him. Over time, we welcomed sin in and allowed it to create a wedge between us and God. We unintentionally removed ourselves from the foundation of true love. God never moved or separated himself from us, we just tuned out truth and started walking down our own path. That is a dangerous yet very common place to be.
Hindsight is 20/20, and when I look back, I know that God carried us both through. We were just too numb to feel His presence the time. I buried myself in excuses and lies. Eventually, I couldn’t even remember the truth anymore. One night after an intense fight that ended with the words “I love you”, something struck a cord in my Spirit. The word love awakened something in me. I grew up in church, so of course I knew that in 1st Corinthians 13 it talks about what love means. The Spirit led me to go read that chapter again.
I remember sitting outside of my hotel room in New York City after walking in fashion week. I was trying to hide from my family and friends so they would not see the makeup that was running down my face after an intense fight I just had on the phone. I clicked on my bible app and I re-read 1st Corinthians chapter 13. This is when I decide to seek truth and invited these words to tear down walls of lies that had been built up for so long. I remember comparing the conversation I just had with my boyfriend to the words I was reading in the bible, and let me tell you…it was the furthest things from the words we ended with…I love you.
I followed after the voice of truth and began a pursuit of peace. After reading all of the stories in the bible that showed a clear example of what I should be expectant of when it comes to the word love, I knew it was time to end the relationship. Ever since then, I have noticed that the word passion has a new meaning in my life. It is a passion that is pure, and it is the very thing that fuels me to press past the feelings that rise up and make me fear the future. When I find myself in a season of singleness, and jealously arises when I see someone I once loved with a new girlfriend, I don’t have to be envious or afraid. God gives me the strength to pursue my dreams and the purpose He planned for me long ago.
I no longer live in survival mode or pursue temporary feelings of happiness. I strive to live life the way it was meant to be lived – to the fullest. My story does not end in heart break or death. I have an abundant life full of joy, hope, freedom, and a word I have come to fall in love with… PEACE – which was waiting for me on the other side of trust.
God’s love is the breath to our spiritual life. I used to make list of what I want in my future husband, but now I just write prayers that circle around the list the Lord help me write. My husband will be a man who has practiced and respected patience. He is charmingly and truthfully kind. He is not jealous, because He trusts in the Lord enough to trust in me. He is not boastful or proud because our love speaks in actions. He surely is not rude. Our love most definitely does not demand its own way for we know and long for the Lord to lead our path. He is not irritable when times are stressful. Together we will keep no records of wrong. He dances with me and rejoices when truth wins. His joy carries us through the valleys. In the hard times, he will love even harder. He will help silence my fears, but he will not accept them. He believes in truth over convenience or being comfortable. He feels my cry, is encouraged by my laugh, and joins me in song no matter how off key to worship our father God. He will never give up, because his eyes are on God and not me. He will never lose faith. Even if the whole world is against me, he will be for me because he loves the Jesus in me. He knows a river brings joy into the city of God even when the nations are in chaos. He sits still with me and knows that God is God. He will be able to endure all circumstances, because I will be right there with him holding his hand – striving to do the exact same thing. He will lead me where the Lord is leading him. We will meet at the Lord’s feet.
This kind of love is what I am passionate about. It makes me smile when I wake up and encourages me to pray before I sleep. I do not search for perfection, I search for someone who is led by the perfect love of our Jesus. I pray for him daily. I cannot wait to bring Godly passionate love into a dull world. Ladies, I hope this speaks truth to you and that you can join me in fighting for pure passion. Pray for your hubby even before you meet him. Also, pray for the woman that you will be in the relationship. Begin to practice being the woman you read about in Bible stories. Pray for the characteristics of the iconic Proverbs 31 woman. By beginning to pray now your passion will only grow in excitement for the love you will one day have. Be expectant and do not lose the passion the Lord creates in you.
Ps : This was Sadie written and Blake approved. I know what y’all were thinking J all is well mates.