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If you know me, then you know that I tend to overthink things. It is arguably the most annoying thing about me. That might sound funny to hear that about me, but it is just true! I cannot tell you how many times I have heard the dreaded sentence, “You are overthinking it,” said to me when I am sharing 1,238,292 case scenarios that I have thought of over a single situation.

So, I wanted to just go ahead and start a new blog series called, “Things in Life I Overthought.”

Things I really just wish I had cried less tears over or thought less thoughts about or stress less about or strived less for because hindsight is 20/20  and, as I really always knew— GOD HAD IT.

Part 1 – Who am I going to marry?

I majorly overthought this one. Honestly, my dialogue was a little off when it came to my perspective of whom I would marry. Speaking in movie terms, most people might envision who they are going to marry as a rom-com or a hallmark movie, but for me, it was more of a mystery.  I was always trying to look into every clue, every motive, every sign, figure out the plot, look at every suspect and make deductions.  It was a full-on suspense movie going on inside my head. If you could hear my inner dialogue it may sound like this –“Who could it be? Maybe it is him, because he asked me to go to coffee and I said I want a guy who likes coffee? Coincidence or sign? Could it be him, because he said ‘God bless you’ when I sneezed and I said I wanted a man who loves God? And he’s tall, dark and handsome? Gotta be him.” Then I would go back to the house, call one of my best friends and see what they thought of all of the clues.

Like for real girl – I gotta chill!

This mystery-solving mindset will pretty much give you what any other mystery movie would give you– drama and confusion. It may be fun to watch, but it is not fun to live. What I found is this: when it comes to meeting the person you are going to marry, is it is not like a mystery movie, and truthfully, it is not always like a rom-com or a hallmark movie either. Believe it or not, everyone –it is more like a true story. *Gasp, I know, shocking, huh? There is normally not a sound track for all the magical moments or step by step clues giving you some mystical insight – it is the story that the Creator has intentionally written for you and your future spouse.

The day before I met Christian I had basically surrendered to mystery-solving dating. I had waved the white flag and said, “I’m done!” I told all of my friends (it is even on a video) that I was not going to date anyone for six months. I had become so frustrated and discouraged with months of dating and trying to figure out if he was the “one” only to end it all in a break up. Yes, it’s ironic that I met Christian the very next day! The day after my surrender!

We started to get to know one another, but this is the thing – we started to get to know each other. That’s it. I was not trying to find the clues, figure out the motive, search for the things that would give him points, or size him up to see if he fit the description I had in mind. Basically, I did not “overthink” it, because I was not thinking about it.

Christian is a super affirming person, and anytime I start a sentence with “do you think…” he always starts his answer with, “I don’t think – I know.”  The funny thing is, when Christian and I started “talking,” I honestly did not think about anything – we just naturally started getting to know each other.  He never even asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend and still hasn’t, haha! (But he did ask me to marry him, heyo!) I just knew that I was his and that I was the only one he was pursuing. He left no room for me to ever question that – it was just known. There was never a thought about us breaking up. I just knew I did not want to spend a day of my life without him. And he felt the same.

Our futures started to make sense together. Our individual stories began to form an even better story when combined. There was not much to think about. It was always clear where both of our hearts were and where we both wanted to go. It was evident that God could use us to help one another achieve our purpose. I did not have to overthink things. Our actions and words to each other allowed us to rest in the natural progression of a relationship. It was beautiful and freeing to not have to second guess every move either of us made.

In real life, it’s never fun to know a surprise before it happens. If you do know the surprise, it’s a fact that you will not react the same way you would if you truly were surprised. Once you know about the surprise, it’s not a surprise. You tend to overthink the way you are going to act when the surprise (that is now not a surprise) happens, when you see the people, when you hear the words “SURPRISE” called out. Your response will not be as natural—no matter how hard you try. It will not be the same. I think this is God’s plan for us as He chooses our spouses.  God wants to surprise you with what He has planned and prepared for you. And, if you ask for His help and His guidance, He will give it to you.

So, don’t try to figure it out before it happens. Know that God is working with two beautiful hearts and is preparing each one for the other person. It takes time to get some really important details together. For me, I will tell you this, I am so surprised it is Christian. And we are continuously surprised by the details that God puts into our story. Wait for your real life story – it will surprise you in the best way!

XO,

Sadie

Sadie Robertson

Author Sadie Robertson

More posts by Sadie Robertson

Join the discussion 18 Comments

  • Avatar Emma Guidry says:

    Sadie I love you and Christians relationship! And I love you so much! I hope y’all last a life time and have some great memories to add to yalls list❤️

  • Avatar Kamryn says:

    This is really inspirational and I just want to let you know that you inspire me to be a better Christian and better person. This helped me understand that I don’t have to over think everything little thing. It also helped that I don’t have to force a relationship if we’re not working. Thanks you Sadie for always allowing me to see the truth about god and help me understand his word more.

    Sincerely,
    Kamryn Brown

  • Avatar Kamryn says:

    This is really inspirational and I just want to let you know that you inspire me to be a better Christian and better person. This helped me understand that I don’t have to over think everything little thing. It also helped that I don’t have to force a relationship if we’re not working. Thanks you Sadie for always allowing me to see the truth about god and help me understand his word more. So thank you so much and I Love you

    Sincerely,
    Kamryn Brown

  • Avatar Jess says:

    So inspiring

  • Avatar Jess says:

    Really inspiring

  • Avatar Ana says:

    Oh my gosh Sadie… this post came in perfect timing. I am such an over thinker, like you. I recently stopped dating someone and have been feeling pretty lonely lately, and wondering when God will bring that person in my life…. I’m always thinking about my own timing and how right now would be my perfect timing for that man to
    Come into my life… but I know that gods timing is sooooo much better! Thank you for the encouragement! I am going through a season of learning to depend fully on Him and remembering who I am and who He sees me as… and that He has something so special planned for me… no need to rush!!! Thank you again for being such a light.

  • Avatar Riley says:

    Honestly I didn’t realize how much I needed this until I read it! Ur words are so powerful and so simple yet so difficult to take in. Thank you. I’ll be sure to wait for my surprise.

  • Avatar Grace Garcia says:

    I am 14 years old and I always wonder who I am going to marry and I overthink a lot lol! I really needed this reminder that God is in control and he has a guy planned for me. All I need to do is trust him and let him lead me and guide me and shape me into the woman he has called me to be and later on he will lead me to the “one”

  • Avatar Moureen says:

    Lovely story, it so happens that am at that stage of waiting on God and at times it becomes hard to keep trusting God if u feel no answer is coming your way. Thanks for sharing your story.

  • Avatar kennedi says:

    that is truly what I have been needing to hear for so long, thank you for being raw and honest!
    God Bless!

  • Avatar Myra says:

    Thx for that message Sadie! I rly enjoyed it. I love how ur so in-depth with God’s word! U r truly an inspiration.😊

  • Avatar Jasmine says:

    Hey Sadie,
    Can I just say thank you? This is actually something that’s really been plaguing my mind as of late – especially since I’ve been racking up on the rom-coms these past few days with my girls, ya know what I’m sayin? But I’ve never heard the ‘real life story’ thing before. It’s always been a ‘fairytale’ or a ‘movie’ that I find myself waiting on, but you’re right. All that waiting has just been leading to a bunch of drama and confusion! Something I’d like to avoid in my near future lol.

    Thanks for sharing about surrender and real life stories. Now I know that it’s actually something that God is orchestrating and has been orchestrating since the beginning of time. I don’t have to think it up or wait around or do anything specific to make it happen. It’s just trust I guess.
    Total surrender. Lol easier said then done, huh?

    Thanks again girl!

    -Jasmine

  • Avatar Rachel Sam says:

    Amazing!
    I too was in overthinking person. But I think things are now gonna change!!
    Thank you!

  • Avatar Alison Stutesman says:

    Sadie, my boyfriend and I have just broken up last night. We made the decision based on the fact that even though we don’t want to lose each other and our support we have for each other, we know that we need to make this step to secure our future together. We understand that I was not getting the type of attention & needs I need as a girlfriend and my boyfriend understood that he can only make himself better by being alone and learning about himself so he can better himself for our relationship. We both want to marry each other! He is pursuing a MLB career and he’s overwhelmed with the choices he has to make in this transition. I will also be graduating college in December and entering the adult world. Moral of my story is that after reading this blog post, I feel so much better about our breakup and I now know that once he takes some time for himself right now, our relationship will be better than ever! I’m not a firm believer in God but I do agree with everything you have felt and I relate to you so much when it comes to relationships! I just wanted to say that I really appreciate you opening up to your followers and it has helped me tremendously. Love you Sadie! 💕

  • Avatar Mariah Hernandez says:

    Sadie, this is so beautiful and I’m glad I have someone like you to look up to. I just said the same prayer and I am excited for the surprise that God has for me. One day I am going to be sharing my testimony. Thanks for being a bright light. God bless

    -Mariah 💗

  • Avatar Emma brown says:

    This is truly inspirational Sadie! Because just like you I am the same way, my friends and I are all the same way. I play my love life like a suspenseful movie all the time!

  • Avatar Lexa says:

    This is actually really helpful. I’ve been struggling with this, like the EXACT same things… It was so random that i was plaguing myself with questions and my singleness and then i just happened to see ur post. It actually brings me a little peace hearing that someone else went through the same thing and is now rejoicing with not only a fiancé but Jesus. Thank you <3

  • Avatar Lauren Franklin says:

    This is honestly so true!! I’ve been in other relationships before where I’ve been left guessing or unsure… the relationship I’m in now I know to be real. Things just progressed to us realizing how who we are called to be fit aligns with who God called us to be as individuals, how God is using us the help each other. I never worry if we are about to break up or how long I have with him, I know he’s who God made for me. I’m always left in awe that God picked out such an amazing human for me *sighs*, and through my boyfriend (hopefully fiancé as we get near the end of college) God has taught me to trust his plan for me!

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