by Courtney Leatherwood | Feb 23, 2018 | Relationships, Testimonies |
Striving. It has always been a desire of mine to earn the love, admiration and friendship of others. My mind is often flooded of memories of when I was a child, on the playground, looking cool and athletic so guys would pick me for their teams. As a daughter, I worked hard in school and around the house, so my dad and mom would love me. Thinking back through high school, I strived for the grades to go to my dream school. And it didn’t stop in college.
That’s when I met my first boyfriend. He was a nice guy, but my relationship with him carried a striving for physical beauty and pleasing him in different ways, so he would love me as much as the other college girls. When my outer beauty wasn’t enough, I began to do physically intimate things with him that were far beyond my comfort zone and my values.
The lies in my head usually went something like this:
Courtney, he will love you more if ____________. Fill in the blank.
The more I filled in the blank, the more lost and empty I felt.
This brings tears to my eyes thinking that I was in such a place of doing anything for love. What breaks my heart even more, is the other girls out there, struggling with this burden to earn the love of a man. If that’s you, I’m with you. Here’s the good and bad news. This struggle existed long before you were made. You may have heard the story in Genesis 3.
6 He told the Woman:
You’ll want to please your husband, but he’ll lord it over you.”
17-19 He told the Man: The very ground is cursed because of you; getting food from the ground will be as painful as having babies is for your wife; you’ll be working in pain all your life long (striving to provide). The ground will sprout thorns and weeds, you’ll get your food the hard way, planting and tilling and harvesting, sweating in the fields from dawn to dusk, until you return to that ground yourself, dead and buried; you started out as dirt, you’ll end up dirt.”
Genesis 3:6-19, MSG
What did you see? Sin is introduced to the world, and God gives both Adam and Eve specific consequences because of their sin. Both of these punishments are rooted in striving. For women, you will be under the rule of your husband, striving for his love and pleasing him. For men, he will be striving to provide and laboring for his family in this world.
It’s wild to me that men and women have felt this burden since the beginning.
We all fight the battle of striving for love.
The good news is you don’t have to live in this. Striving for the love of a man here in earth will lead you on a dead end. The first road the have to travel is the deep drive into God’s love for you.
I love what the Lord says in Isaiah 43:1 — He who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.”
He created you. He is waiting for you to step into the journey of receiving his love.
That road is waiting for you, and I’m here to tell you it’s the BEST JOURNEY.
God has worked on my heart so much since college. He has redefined what true love looks like. You, too, can overcome our human desire of striving to be worthy of someone’s love, and instead experience the grace of Jesus which then empowers us to serve and embrace true love. The love of Jesus.
You may be thinking, surely, I have to serve and love my boyfriend/fiancé/husband well, and of course, you can and will! The WORLD says we must work, look good, love well, serve and strive so people will love us back. But the WORD says love is rooted in grace by Jesus. It’s an overflow of the grace we receive, that compels us to extend that and love others.
You don’t belong to this world. You belong to Jesus.
Why? He tells us—“my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:20.
Take a breath and let that sink in. We don’t have to carry the burden of striving for love any longer, because Jesus already took care of that. You’re adopted to the kingdom. Already there. All you do is have to receive it.
We love well not because of a burden, but through the overflow of Jesus’ love we receive. When we know who we are, and how much we are loved by God, our need to strive for a man decreases. if you’re reading this and feel like you’re striving for the love of your friend, boyfriend or husband, release that.
My prayer for you today is to release that burden, surrender that to Jesus. Ask God to redeem your heart and your relationship. Ask him to give you new lenses to love your man well. And ask God to give you an overflow of His love for those special people in your life. This is better than anything you can do on your own. We can only look to God to make us worthy, both worthy of His love and of each other’s love.
by Laney Rene | Jan 22, 2018 | Life Advice |
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:8-9
“God, my hope and my strength. My ability to move and breathe. My peace. My way. My life. You are my wisdom and my direction. You are my joy and the source of all my strength. You satisfy my soul. I love you Jesus. Thank you for how you love me.”
I wrote these words in my journal, when I quite honestly didn’t feel any of these things. I felt like I had lost hope and had no strength. And from that place, I didn’t want to move and I even felt like I could breathe. Peace felt a million miles away, and finding it felt impossible. My joy wasn’t there because I wasn’t setting my heart on WHO joy is, and therefore, my soul continued to be in want and unsatisfied. I had forgotten that the whole reason I’m able to love HIM, is because He FIRST loved me.
But one day, instead of opening my journal and writing out all my feelings and emotions and blah, blah, blah… I decided I would change it up a bit, and began to write the opposite of what I was feeling. I chose to believe that even though I didn’t see or feel it yet, HE was my hope and my strength. He is my ability to move and breathe. He is my peace, and he never leaves…so peace hadn’t left me. The joy of Him is my strength, so If I set my heart on who He was, I would be filled with the strength that I needed. I reminded myself that more than anything, I’M LOVED BY HIM. Wherever I was believing lies or had a negative thought or emotion, I covered it with His truth and with His love.
THIS is TRUTH.
1 John 3:1 Says,
“Behold, what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us that we should be called children of God.”
I want you take note of the word “bestowed” here… Bestow means to present as a gift, to give, or to put on. That means that whether I realize it or not, as a child of God my Father has given me His love as a gift. He has placed His love upon me. I can never change this truth, its truth whether I believe and receive it for myself or not.
If you’re anything like me, you can have a tendency to overthink things, and replay situations in your head over and over again. This can be a very bad thing, or it can be a very good thing. It all depends on what I’m focusing on, thinking about and replaying. Are the thoughts in my head truth? Are they bringing me life and peace? Or, are they lies—bringing me discouragement and confusion?
TRUTH says, “Where the spirit of The Lord is, there is FREEDOM” (2 Corinthians 3:17)
If you’ve felt discouraged lately, or even have a sense of disappointment, I want to encourage you to take some time and ask yourself what it is lately that you’ve been focusing on and replaying in your head. My mom always says, “What is it you’re listening to?” Meaning, are you listening to His voice of truth, peace and life, or are you listening to thoughts of disappointment, fear, and ultimately, death. We live in a world where we’re CONSTANTLY being faced with things that could seem true, but are not true. So, we have to CONSTANTLY cover ourselves with what we KNOW is true, and that is only found in His word.
I want to encourage you to make covering yourself with truth a part of your daily routine. Sometimes, it’s something as simple as getting ready in the morning and as you’re getting dressed or putting on your makeup, just thanking him for how He loves you. When you set your mind on His truth, it will not only begin to change your feelings and emotions, but it will change your relationships and your whole perspective on life. You will begin to see Him in everything and every moment.
by Courtney Leatherwood | Jan 12, 2018 | Life Advice |
A few months ago, I asked God for a word for this upcoming year. My 2017 marked a year of transition—moving across the country, new jobs, new home, new relationship, and more. I’ll be honest, I felt pretty confident walking into my recent season of transition. My heart was full and hungry for more. I felt prepared and ready for game day. What I didn’t realize, was how much change was in store. It wasn’t just a move. It was a new home, new people, and ultimately, a new community. Every person and place that I left behind, was uprooted. I learned quickly that my roots were more established in the places, situations, and relationships, more than the word and truth of God. Crazy humbling.
It really hit me coming into this year. Transition causes the wind to stir you. It challenges you in ways that you may not be prepared for. There were a few times I was rocked, because I didn’t remember the truth of God’s word and promises. So, I asked God to search my heart, and He put the word “ROOTED” on my heart (and all over my journal).
Establish deep roots in the Word of God, to prepare for what is ahead.
For those who are wondering what it means for God to put a “word” on your heart, I see it as a theme that arises from prayers, journaling, worship and conversations, with people who are praying on your behalf. Anytime God repeats himself, you listen. You pay attention.
So, I’m ready to declare this word for 2018. But before I do that, I wanted to share a bit more about what it means—with the hope that you, too, may be encouraged to join me on the journey of rootedness.
Rooted means to establish firmly and deeply. Doesn’t that give you chills? I felt my heart pulsing as I read those words above, and then I had another thought.
What do you think of when you hear rooted? Anyone think of trees? Okay, I hope I’m not the only one! Right now, I can picture large oak trees arching over a driveway, or pine trees standing firm on the side of a beautiful mountain. What’s so beautiful, is that these trees stand firm and upright. And you know why they stand upright? Because they are rooted.
Trees are the most valuable, enduring plants here on earth. I mean, there is no other organism here on earth that lives longer than trees. Most require large amounts of water per day, and take time to grow.
Let’s dive a litter deeper for a minute. Roots breathe moisture and nutrients into the tree for a lifetime, and that means the roots are spread horizontally, fueled by the main taproot. All of the roots together, bring life, growth and wisdom to the tree.
Are we letting God tap into our roots?
He wants to grow our knowledge, love and faith for him. We have to let him tap and be the only fuel for our life. If we allow the spirit and Word to be our source,
His almighty water will grow deep within us.
God is our rootedness. He will hold us upright.
He promises this to us, but we have to first allow His Word to be our roots. (Ephesians 2:11-22)
Do you want to grow? Do you want to flourish?
I sure do! This year, I am expectant and ready to be rooted firmly in His Word. I want to grow. I want to flourish. I want to stand firmly rooted, so that nothing can make be fall, because His spirit inside me is firmly holding me up.
Let’s be firmly planted in the House of the Lord. Let’s flourish in the courts of our God. (Psalm 92:13)
How do we start?
Roots need to be fueled with massive amounts of water, every day and over time. The deeper the roots, the taller the tree grows, and that means our time in the word must grow.
God’s word is a source of eternal encouragement.
Paul encourages us to stand firm and hold fast to the teachings, so that He may give us eternal encouragement. (2 Thessalonians 2:15-16)
This means that God’s word gives us eternal encouragement. It is the only nutrient we need.
Our roots will grow in Him vertically, and in His church horizontally.
Roots spread horizontally as well, to gain other nutrients and supplements. This looks like our earthly relationships and the church. As we stand firm in Him, our roots naturally spread across the ground.
Let’s spread our roots, and supplement our life with people and a church that is also rooted upright in Him. Continue to encourage one another in truth. (Heb 3:13)
So, who’s ready to be rooted? I’d love for you to join me. I don’t want to do it alone. One of the greatest desires of my heart in 2018, is to be rooted.
My prayer for you today, is that God’s Word will fill your hearts and needs as eternal encouragement. May we start building roots today, to prepare for the seasons ahead. May we stand firm, encourage and build up each other in truth.
by Courtney Leatherwood | Dec 13, 2017 | Life Advice |
A part of my role on Team Live Original is to manage our social media. A few weeks ago, a sweet girl sent us a direct message. She asked for someone to write a blog on letting go of your past self and starting fresh with Jesus. My heart leaped as I read the words on the screen.
That was me… That’s my story.
I, too, remember the moment I let go of my past self and tasted grace. It happened in one conversation.
Let’s go back a few years to the last week of my senior year of college.
My mom confronted me about my relationship with my (former) boyfriend, and my college lifestyle with the knowledge that I was most likely not living in the fullness of who God created me to be. So, she challenged me with one question.
Her question moved me to tears and at that moment I realized my desperate need for Jesus.
The conversation that followed her question, sharing with them some of my poor decisions in college, was one of the hardest conversations I ever had with my parents. (I may share more details at a later time).
Knowing the pain of the information that I was sharing, I expected the worst response from my parents. I expected a punishment.
Assuming the worst, my mind wandered down the rabbit hole of dropping out of college, living at home, and a completely broken relationship with them. My mind was flooded with negative thoughts and I was terrified for my future. But the story turned.
My father responded “Courtney, it’s okay. I love you.”
Tears followed at the release those gentle words of my father. Hearing those words from my dad was like hearing from my Heavenly Father and the moment I experienced true GRACE. Undeserved, beautiful and free grace.
One conversation changed everything. In a matter of moments, I came out of the darkness and into the light. My past no longer mattered. The grace of the Jesus was living and powerful.
Our heavenly father says His grace is sufficient for us (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). It’s incredible that when we feel so weak, His grace is enough. The grace I received that day pushed me onto a path of redemption
Out of the darkness I could now see a fresh start with Jesus. Catching glimpses of what my life could looked like living in the fullness and strength of Jesus. He had so much more in store for me!
I’m here to tell you that GOD can change you in a moment.
The day following the conversation with my parents, were my first steps onto the path of holiness. My heart had changed in an instant and I posessed a strong desire to seek a fresh relationship with Jesus.
There’s this Word in Galatians 5 that calls us to be free. We have to choose to step into that freedom and walk by the spirit (Galatians 5:16). It’s the promise that turns us from broken to redeemed, impure to pure of heart, shameful to joyful, anxious to peaceful, and so much more.
My desire for a pure heart pushed me towards the Word and Worship. It was no longer about finding my identity in a man, rather finding my beauty in holiness. When we pursue a relationship with God, we put on a new self and seek to become like Him (Eh 4:24). I believe this is true!
The path to holiness is a journey, it only takes one day and one decision to step forward to redemption The further down the path that you go, the more that you will be filled with our Father’s joy and gladness.
You too can have a fresh start with Jesus.
Maybe you’re reading this and looking for a fresh start with Jesus. Now let me tell you, this is a journey, one that I am still on today. Your journey may look different than mine, but it takes a daily “yes” to seeking your identity and healing in God alone.
Here’s are a few starting points:
- Dive into the Word
- Spend time alone with Jesus
- Speak out lies
- Cover yourself with the truth of the word.
- Ask friends to hold you accountable and speak life into you on your fresh start
by Laney Rene | Dec 6, 2017 | Life Advice |
This is for all the good girls (or boys) out there, who have ever thought they were truly good because they had “been good”. You’ve lived your life keeping almost, if not “all” of the rules.
You were always the “good kid”, and watched everyone else around you make the dumb decisions you decided you’d never make. Have you ever looked at someone and thought “wow, that’s crazy that they did that! How could they? I could never…”
Or maybe, you’re someone who feels like you ARE the bad kid. You’ve broken all the rules and made all of the “dumb” decisions. You feel like you’re the one that no one should ever want to be like, and you could never be good enough or worthy of what it is you truly long for in life – and ultimately, what you were created to be.
Isn’t it funny how we rate ourselves and rate other people? Or even how we rate sin? We hear someone’s story of their past or even just look at their instagram page, and we’ve already decided if we’re better or worse than them. Prettier or not as pretty. More successful or less successful. More liked or less liked – all based on how many followers or likes they have. Constantly comparing and rating each other. This process of comparison either leaves us feeling better than someone else in a way that is false, or feeling less than someone else that is FALSE. Both are false. And both are very deceiving.
To be honest, the girl I described at the very beginning was me until I was about 18. I thought I was pretty good, and without even realizing it I started to find my worth in how “good” I had been, and all the ways I had “saved myself for my future husband.”
But, this thinking was forced to change one day when I was talking to my mom about something a friend of mine had done in the past. My mom saw the way it was affecting me, and heard me talk about how hard it was to believe they had “done that”. She said, “Laney, your righteousness is no greater than hers. She has been made just as white as snow as you have. You are no better… it’s the same blood”.
Honestly, for someone who had felt like they’d kept most of the rules and been pretty good all their life, it felt like quite the confidence killer. But the truth is, over time my confidence had become what I had done, instead of what He had done.
Romans 3:23-26 says:
“For ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God set forth as a propitiation by His blood, through faith, to demonstrate His righteousness, because in His forbearance God had passed over the sins that were previously committed, to demonstrate at the present time His righteousness, that He might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.”
When Jesus died, shedding His blood for all, His word says that He washed us white as snow (Isaiah 1:18). We are covered by His blood and His blood covers all. It doesn’t matter if you think you’ve been the best or you think you’ve been the absolute worst. We ALL need HIM the same. Don’t let your past be baggage you carry around – full of shame and defeat, or think that your “goodness” is a badge for purity and what qualifies you for His favor. Nothing you have ever done or could ever do could ever qualify you or disqualify you for your destiny.
Righteousness cannot be earned, it can only be received. Come to Him and leave your bags at the door. Because as far as He is concerned, your baggage was checked in at the cross and LOST to never be found again.
