by Lindsey Nelson | Nov 8, 2017 | Life Advice |
abba,
It’s as if everything began to build at a more rapid pace than usual. You know, that building of a culmination of emotion, random events and overwhelming moments that bring you to a place of wanting to break down and just press the restart button. I’ve had many seasons in life like that, where the Lord is bringing things to the surface, and He does it by allowing me to come to a place of surrender because I just couldn’t seem to get it the first time. But it has been some time now since I gave my life to the Lord and something about this was different. Heavier. Faster. Like a massive wave that was swelling more quickly than I could get on my board to ride away on and I knew, I’m about to get pummeled.
He was doing something in me and all I could do was face it. I knew better than to run. I found myself sitting in my living room after another moment of being overwhelmed and feeling as if I had failed yet once again…que the cycle of me beating myself up again. I just can’t seem to get it together. One lash. My laundry is never finished. Another lash. My house isn’t perfect. Another lash. I didn’t finish this project. One more lash. I just sobbed.
I could see Him now. Abba Father, sitting far off in the sky of heaven, watching me with disappointment. Wishing I would get it together so He could take me into that mythical season of milk and honey. Holding His list of things I didn’t accomplish and therefore having to withhold freedom, blessing, anointing and influence. Angry that I just can’t give Him my all the way the elite Christians do. Whatever that means. I continued to sob.
I finally just said out loud, “I don’t want to deal with this anymore. Please, remove this, I can’t live like this anymore”. All of the sudden, a massive presence entered the room and immediately, I knew it was Father God. It was distinctly different from any other encounter I’ve ever had. It was the Father Himself. His love swelled in the room and felt like every wall was being touched by this presence filling the space. My internal knees buckled and I wept from a depth I did not know was inside me. As I closed my eyes, I felt Him take my face in His hands, and with more kindness then I’ve ever felt in my life, He began to speak words of love with a tone of peace and gentleness. My fear filled heart was immediately exposed, and I began to say how sorry I was for allowing myself to be guided by such lies. He quickly yet gently told me to stop, and that it was in the past. He wasn’t even thinking about my mess-ups. He then took my hands and feet, and washed them clean. I felt all striving, all anxiety, all worry, simply wash away, as the selflessness of my Father was revealed to me. He has no need to hold onto my past or my failures – as if He needed to make me pay for them one day when I mess up again, because that would imply that He needed something to control me with. No. In that moment as He washed my feet, I saw how selfless He was.
He needs not to hold onto anything of my past, because His love is so powerful that it makes even me forget my past as it melts away in His kindness. He began to speak to me about how I am “His girl”, and how He created the nature that one feels to protect those they love – because His protectiveness towards me and all His children, is fiercer than we could ever imagine. He explained to me how vital it is that all I am to do is to abide in Him. To stay right in this place, where nothing else matters but abiding in His presence. I asked Him, “Are you always this kind?” “Yes, I am”. “Are you always here like this?” “Yes. Always. I am always here.
But just because you can’t always see me, doesn’t mean I’m not here. I am like a lion, circling His child on constant watch. Sometimes I am circling in front of you in a position that you see me. And sometimes I am circling behind, with a perspective you don’t have. Just because you can’t see me, does not mean I am not there. I never leave you. No matter what, I will always love you. You’re my girl, daughter.”
Maybe you see Father God the way that I did, and you find yourself in a position of striving, stress and being overwhelmed easily. Let me tell you, sister…you don’t have to live this way. All you have to do is call out to your Father, and He will be there. Ready to love you the way your heart has been longing for. His love washes away the internal dirt and grime of stress, and brings the resolve, order and contentment you thirst for. He is good, kind and more loving than you know. Call out to him. I promise, He’s right there patiently waiting for you to listen to His words of love He so desperately wants to speak to you.
by Lindsey Nelson | Oct 12, 2017 | Life Advice |
There has been this constant war inside of me that is fighting for one thing that I so desperately long for. Balance.
I wear quite a few hats. I am a full-time pastor, currently attempting to get a small business off the ground, and blog writer with the goal of letting out my passion for health and sisterhood thrive all under one banner and umbrella, somehow. I am a wife and mom, which alone is a full time job. I have so many dreams and fiery passions inside of me, I sometimes ask God why in the world He would allow me to have them all, if I cant have balance. The list of passions could go on and on. I thrive off of order and peace. Every fiber inside of me thirsts for it, and I have lived running after it.
For so long, I have felt this enemy inside my head that told me, “If only you were more organized. If only you woke up earlier. You’re a mom, you need to have such and such finished. If only you were more of ________”. THEN, I would reach this place of balance – Where I had all of my to do lists accomplished, early morning quiet time where I prayed, meditated, and read my bible. Where I gave back to others, filled my family’s love tanks, lifted and supported my friends with Holy Spirit driven words, and had dinner on the table by 5:30. The constant voice telling me that I’m the only one that can’t seem to get it together, roars at me.
I have tried it all. Writing your to do lists for the next day the night before. Finding the perfect planner and filling it in for the month. Making meal prep plans and ordering the grocery list online. I have 8 weekly meal menus stored up, with the thought that surely that will be enough to help get me to this imaginary place of balance. I have done it all. Most of those around me look in on my life and think I am a disciplined and organized woman. Yet STILL, this voice roars at me. Yet I would STILL lay down every day feeling as if I was failing and didn’t do enough. My mind was screaming, JESUS HELP ME find balance.
As I was sitting in our prayer room at our church, He finally laid it out for me. He said, “Are you done?” What?! What kind of a question was that?! I have been doing everything I can to try to do His will. Trying to put feet to the dreams HE placed in me. Trying to be a good steward of my family and every other responsibility I had. Trying to make sure I had balance in it all. What else was I supposed to do?! What am I not doing?!?!
The fear of the LORD leads to life, So that one may sleep satisfied, untouched by evil. Prov 19:23
He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him; He will also hear their cry and will save them. Ps 145:19
Who is the man who fears the LORD? He will instruct him in the way he should choose. Ps 25:12
In the fear of the LORD, there is strong confidence, and his children will have refuge. The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, that one may avoid the snares of death. Proverbs 14:26
He began to speak to me about how it was time to stop playing God. To give it all to Him and step back – step back and worship Him with no agenda, not asking for anything, but worship Him as a daughter who loves her Father and just wants to sit in His lap and let Him hold her. And let me tell you, at first, it was difficult because my first reaction is to think, “But if I just let it all go, I’ll be lazy. What if I don’t accomplish anything on time? What if nothing gets done? What if my dreams don’t come true because I didn’t work hard enough?”.
Then He got real with me.
He said, “Exactly. Are you done trying to play my part? Am I not God? The God who gave you these dreams, your family, everything that you posses? Am I not enough? Can you not worship with me without a goal? Can you not worship me TRUSTING THAT I AM THE ONE THAT BRINGS FRUIT TO THE SEEDS I GAVE YOU? What if I took it all away, would you leave me? Do you worship me for me or for what you want me to do for you? You will never do what only I can do through you, and until you can understand that, you will keep running around this mountain.”
I immediately hit my knees and wept. I asked for His forgiveness and realized that my to-do list was all out of order. Number one is to worship Him with no agenda. To trust just as the Israelites did when He gave them the Sabbath. A margin of space that says, put down your ability to work, and trust that I will finish the rest.
What it came down to, for me at least and hopefully someone else who is reading this, was trust. Trust that no matter what, He has me. He has my family. He has my future. This life is not about me and what I can feel great about accomplishing. It’s not even about my dreams and what He can do through me. At the end of the day, it’s about Him. It’s about His desire for me to love Him FIRST with everything that is in me and everything that I have. Could I trust that He will take care of my to do lists? I can if I let go of my timeline and embrace His. Could I trust that He loves me even if I didn’t get up at 5am and have my quiet time? I can if I trust and know that He is a good father and loves me unconditionally. It’s not about what I can prove or do to prove myself ready and worthy. He is the only one who is worthy, and He lives in me. Could I trust Him with my dreams? I can if I give them back to Him and say, regardless of what I desire, I will be present in the now and trust that you have the master plan. And His plan is always better than mine. This life isn’t about me.
I am currently walking this out. I believe it will be a lifelong process of constantly giving everything back to Him. So in the mean time, I’ll prostrate myself before Him and declare, that I am just here to serve and love Him. He has the master plan, and I will walk in the Fear of the Lord and His Sabbath rest that says I am not God. I will give Him my best and bow down in reverence to Him and say, I trust you. I trust and will obey to rest in your Sabbath Rest. The Rest of the Lord, that takes care of what I could never provide for in my own strength. When I choose to rest and trust, everything else balances out. I pray that lying voice that may have been roaring over you would be shut in the name of Jesus, and that the roar of the Lion of the Tribe of Judah, would remind you that He is God and He has you in the palm of His hand. He is the balance, the peace, and the order we long for. So lets do this together sister, take a deep breath, and release it all. You’re not alone in this, He’s go us!
by Lindsey Nelson | Sep 21, 2017 | College, Life Advice |
Galatians 5:13 says, “For you, brothers, were called to freedom. Only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity to gratify your flesh, but through love make it your habit to serve one another”.
I wear a lot of hats, and one of those hats is being a youth pastor. One of my many passions is to disciple and raise up young leaders. And to be honest, it was quite hilarious to me when Sadie asked me to write for her Live Original blog. OF COURSE, God…you WOULD push me out there way outside of my comfort zone. Of all the things you know I’d be quick to say yes to, this is what You are asking of me. Mainly, this conversation was happening between the Lord and I, because He has put such a passion inside of me to break down the stronghold that social media has built into a young generation. To gratify and find value in likes, the perfect selfie, or how many followers one may or may not have. It’s been my soapbox. So, the Lord began to not only stir in me to take my writing to the internet, He also sent more confirmations than I could have ever asked for.
Then, Sadie believed that I was supposed to be on her team, I was extremely hesitant and doubtful that I could do it without falling into what I had stood for. Insert exclamation points…I was NOT preaching against social media or the internet. I am in no way anti-social media, CLEARLY. However, I was (and still am) against anything that would stand in the way of someone walking in the fullness of their identity and relationship with their Savior. So, if that is food, Netflix, Instagram, or a relationship…it’s got to go. For many people, young people especially, social media is where they not only find their worth, but where they feel their worth is reflected according to how many likes or followers they have. I stand firm in speaking truth and coming against those lies.
I told Sadie that I needed to pray about it. I immediately was filled with fear and self-doubt. I’ve been writing in journals every day since I was 6 years old – filling book after book for every season and day of my life for the past 23 years. It was time to step out. The Lord was making it clear to me, but I was filled with questions and hesitation. What if I fell into the social media craze? What if I began to find my worth in how people respond to my vulnerable pen to paper moments? What if I fall flat on my face and I hear the horrible words, “I told you so?” I felt paralyzed. I wanted to run the other way and say no. But my incredible husband looked at me, and said, “Lindsey, this is fear. Don’t give in. You preach against pride, but this type of fear is rooted in pride.” OUCH.
So, I began to pray. I needed the Lord to show me His perspective. To navigate me through all my doubts and fears, and bring His truth. Then He showed me this scripture.
Galatians 5:13 says, “For you, brothers, were called to freedom. Only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity to gratify your flesh, but through love make it your habit to serve one another.”
He told me the following things:
1. You have been set free from fear of man. Put on the armor of God and walk boldly. I have called you for such a time as this. Am I not the God who set you free? I can do more than set you free, I can show you how to walk out your freedom – in a brand-new way to set the captive free.
2. As I have given you this outlet, be disciplined to fill yourself with only me. So that I may be what is poured out.
3. Serve. Serve as if you are serving me directly. Serve extravagantly. Serve and love, with extraordinary love.
4. I am with you. You are mine and I am yours. I take you nowhere to let you fall. Keep your eyes on me, and know that I will never take my eyes off of you.
So, I stepped out. Outside of my little comfortable corner, and I have started to chase dreams that others can see. Let me let you in on how I’ve walked it out on a practical level – how I have kept what the Lord has told me in check.
1. I don’t scroll through my feed.
Simply because it takes up more of my time then I’d like to admit to myself. I have so much to get done between being a mom, wife, pastor, daughter, and friend, that I just need to say no. I also have not arrived. And to be vulnerable, I can find myself at times producing unhealthy emotions according to what I see. I don’t have time to have any thought in my head that God doesn’t have about me.
2. I not only read, but memorize His word.
I have a large metal ring that holds index cards on it. Once a week, I add an index card to it that I’ve written a scripture on. I go through the scriptures throughout the week with one goal, to memorize. Not just the scripture, but where its at in the bible. The actual reference. If I don’t know what He says in His word, I will always succumb to what I say to myself or what others say. #aintnotbodygottimeforthat
3. Pray/talk to God all day. Everyday.
This is not some super spiritual act where I am in a sanctuary travailing. I talk to Him. I ask Him what He thinks. I ask questions, I vent, I cry, etc. He’s my best friend.
Many say, “I don’t have time to pray.” Well I have learned from those ahead me, “We don’t have time to not pray.”
I haven’t arrived. I have bad days and stressful days. Days that when the little is tucked in to bed and I’m finally getting a moment to relax, all I want to do is zone out and get on social media. But I know that at the end of the day, only I can choose what I feed myself with mentally, spiritually, and physically. Let’s rise up higher! Feed ourselves with LIFE giving nutrients, words, music and healthy rest.
Let’s be ones that fill ourselves with ONLY Him, so that only HE will come out. He has shown me that if I focus whatever I may be doing on Him and not my self, He will guard my heart and mind. I pray every word, picture or conversation I am a part of, HE is exalted. It’s all about Him, not about the selfie.
by Lindsey Nelson | Sep 12, 2017 | Life Advice |
It’s a fight I’ve been fighting…my whole life. It’s as if it was carved out for me from the beginning of my time and I am just now looking up and recognizing the true enemy. I’ve never been able to truly get up off the ground. He had me pinned down from before my childhood. As a child in the womb, I felt the emotions of my carrier. A woman who struggled herself with the same enemy. The enemy who had the same agenda in mind. To isolate her in the corner and throw as many punches as possible so that she never bothers to get up and make herself open again for the blows. To live in a constant state of self protection and guarding your core. I know this state of being very well. I’ve got the scars. The bruises that were always sensitive and hurting, that the slightest touch would make me go back to my corner. Swollen eyes that caused me to never see anything quite clearly. A tired and hurting body that made me never even want to attempt to try again. I know this way of life well. But this last match he and I were in was the fight of my life. And this time, instead of me backing down or choosing to pick up the same weapons as before, I turned my head away from the enemy as he taunted me to look his way, and I looked to the only person in my corner. He sat there on the other side of me and whispered so gently, “tap me in;” And I did.
As soon as I took His hand, I was no longer in the ring. But sitting on the sidelines. And I watched my Savior become 100 times larger than my enemy. He held my enemy by his neck, and fierce fiery eyes of an angry protector stared my enemy down almost to remind him to never forget this moment. Then I heard a roar of a thousand lions come forth from Him, and in the swiftness of one motion, He took the head off my enemy. My Savior then looked at me, and with eyes of compassion and love, He said, “Please my daughter, do not step back into this ring.” He came down off the platform to my level, and immediately, we were sitting beside a calm river, resting under a larger than life oak tree. My wounds began to heal as He sat with me, telling me just to rest. I began to finally see more clearly than ever before. My enemy was not a face— no single person. It hid behind so many, especially my sisters. He hid behind and used the faces of those that were meant to be the keepers of my heart. As Lisa Bevere says, “I’ve been hurt by men, but I’ve been wounded by women”. My enemy used them, threatened them, made them feel unsafe, and forced to fight. It’s as if we were all in different arenas fighting in the same building. Our enemy ringing the same bell telling us the fight was about to begin again. But now that I see more clearly, I’m angry. I’m angry that I’ve been lied to and abused. I’m angry that this enemy was so ruthless that he began with the mothers. So that their daughter’s would never have a chance. I’m angry. And done. Because I have seen my Savior in action. I’ve not only seen Him take out my enemy, but He has gently nursed me back to health and has thrown my mistakes into a sea of no return. He does not remind me of my mistakes like my enemy. I know the difference between their voices, and He is so kind. So merciful.
He is teaching me now. He is redeeming every year lost and stolen from me and my sisters. He is showing me the details of creating atmospheres of safety. He is showing me the power of my words and how to speak into existence, sisterhood. How to let Him fight every battle with the true enemy and how to keep a posture of resolve. Resolve knowing that He not only has me, but He has my sisters. I’m just now to be the one that champions them in the middle of their journey. One that sits in their corner and reminds them to step out of the ring and look to the one that is waiting to be tapped in. If we all resolved to this position of championing each other, then not one sister would be fighting. We would just be doing what we do so well. Sitting together, popping popcorn, and talking a million miles a minute about this awesome movie of an incredible, strong, savior, that fights for His girl. And wins.
I’ll take that girl’s night any night.
by Lindsey Nelson | Aug 18, 2017 | Sisterhood |
I can still remember being seven years old, walking into our little apartment with my dad and five year old brother, and realizing that the lights wouldn’t turn on. Our microwave was off, and the hall to the bedroom that my brother and I shared was very dark. I didn’t understand what was going on. But when I looked over at my dad, he was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands, looking a way I had never seen him before. Defeated. I learned years later, that during that month, my dad had to choose whether to pay the electricity bill or buy groceries.
My whole childhood, I grew up having to carry burdens that were never mine to carry. Having to fight battles that were never mine to fight. Having to be tough skinned and strong, when in all reality, I was just a kid. I was raised by a single father, with my one younger brother. My mother left when I was five, but that’s a story for another day. I was not raised in church, but I had a strong father that even though at the time he did not know the Lord, raised us to be kind, thoughtful, hard working and generous.
I lived a good part of my childhood in the “bible belt”. I saw churches on every street. Knowing my friends during the summers would go off to church camp, but I was never a part of any of this. And to be completely honest, I didn’t care much because I just simply didn’t know what I didn’t have. It wasn’t until I was seventeen years old, I was invited to come to church on a Wednesday night to a youth group. I was living in Destin, Florida, no family, rebellious, difficult and living on a friends couch in their flea-infested basement. No one cared where I went, when I got in, who I was with, or what I was doing. So, to say the least, I walked into that youth group desperate and not knowing what for. It was the first time I had ever heard the message of Jesus. It still brings me to tears thinking about that moment, because I was so alone and lost. He filled me with a love that I didn’t know existed. He rescued me from the literal pit I was living in and turned my whole life upside down. Which in all actuality was now right side up.
I’ll share the details in posts to come, of how He restored and healed me. How He saved and restored my family. How He broke generational curses, and delivered me from bondage I was so accustomed to living in. How He showed me the power of His love and of His Holy Spirit. I simply cannot live without Him, because I still so vividly remember my life without Him. I am PASSIONATE about sisterhood. Doing life together, and loving each other through our highs and lows. Leaving the fear of the ninety-nine and reaching out for the one. Walking in the supernatural power of His Holy Spirit, so that others can see that He is real and alive. I don’t have it all together, but He does. And I trust Him. I want to encourage you today, dear sister. Who is the rebellious, difficult, lonely and hurting one around you? No one would have ever guessed that I was walking into that youth group with the background that I had, but I am forever grateful that someone reached out anyways and simply just, INVITED ME IN. All it takes is you opening up your life, laying yourself aside and being Jesus to the ones He has placed around you.
We have a MISSION to tear down the boundaries, the facade of perfection, the fear of man, and walk in the power of His love for a dying and lost world. Ask Him, I dare you, to break your heart for what breaks His heart, and it will cause you to stop thinking about you, and to see through HIS eyes. To take the focus off of yourself and see that there is a mission He has for you today. I’m glad a sister said yes to the mission of me on that summer day of 2005. Who would have guessed that little ole me, would one day be writing and ministering to some many others, telling them about what Jesus did that day in a little youth service. For the past year, the Lord began to birth in my heart, Simple Sisterhood. It is not just to share my story, but the stories and tools of the sisters around me. The Titus women who have recipes and testimonies that we need not only for ourselves, but for our children. The single mom who has the strength of ten, and words of wisdom that came with a price we all need to glean from. Or the teenager, who if just given a bit of time and patience, can fill us with words of passion that encourages us to keep praying for a young generation. Sister, we need each other. It’s not nearly as complicated as we make it. So let’s shake off yesterday, take a deep breath, and link up arms. Welcome to sisterhood.
