by Chrys Howard | Jun 20, 2019 | Featured, Life Advice
In our little corner of the world, we are very excited about a new road we are getting. It’s a two-lane road that seems to lead to everything necessary for the thousands of people who travel it every day. In fact, we are so excited about the new five lane road that we dream of the improvements to our daily lives. We’ll get to and from work quicker. There will be no more sitting behind trash trucks or school buses or a great-grandma who goes ten miles an hour. We will be able to zip into Dollar General and get back into the traffic easily and effortlessly. Yes, life will be much better when the construction is done. But, for now, and for the next three years, it will not be good.
The road, our already very busy road, is lined with large equipment, fallen trees, piles of dirt and downed power lines. So, as we wait for improvements, we have to put up with a few messes.
Isn’t this true of any improvement project? Think about how God works in the lives of each of us. Improvement doesn’t happen overnight, does it? Oh, many things can happen on the spot. Hearts can change and attitudes can change and actions can change, but generally speaking, for real change to happen, it takes a little–or a lot–of work.
But, what happens with any construction site? We get impatient, don’t we? We get tired of the mess. We’ve stepped over or moved around or taken the detour too many times and we’re tired of it! We’re eager for the “new.” When we look at our fellow followers of the Jesus, many times we lose patience with their “growing” process. We want to cry “Enough already! Let’s move on!” When we look at ourselves and our spiritual process, we do the same. We pray for God to change us—NOW!
But here’s the good news. Life is a journey. It’s a story that doesn’t end until we take our final breathe. Just recently I was talking with a friend whose son is struggling with addictions. We talked about his long journey in recovery and how each day is better, but the journey isn’t over. Like all of us, his story doesn’t have an ending yet. It’s still being written and God will not leave him. This young man has parents who poured Jesus into him, but he got caught up in sin and addiction. The last few years have been very hard on him and his family. But, there is hope, for sure. His story is still under construction. He is still living in a mess.
Philippians 1:6 tells us this: “Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” With this verse, we are assured, if we desire to grow and change, that God will never leave us in a mess. His desire is for every mess to become a message. As long as we continue to look to God for guidance, He will never leave the construction site of our life. When things seem to pile up, He is there like a mighty machine plowing His way through the junk and debris and making way for the new person He is molding and shaping us to be.
I have been able to watch many life stories get rewritten. I’ve also been witness to many life stories where the words “the end” were added to their story. While there is always sadness at the ending of life, there is also victory when one can see God’s promises lived out. I have witnessed drug addicts become leaders in the church. I have watched broken marriages made whole and those same couples lead marriage seminars. I have rejoiced as lost children have been restored to their faith in God and gone on to lead their own families to be strong, powerful faith leaders. I have seen God take down-trodden, broken-hearted, and sin-filled messes and give them a life that shouts, “Jesus is Lord!”
Don’t ever give up on YOU or anyone else! When you think you’ve had enough with a fellow believer who continues to walk down a broken road, don’t give up! Keep bringing their name before the Father. You may be the only one doing that for them. When you get discouraged with yourself, wondering how you can keep making the same mistake over and over again, don’t give up on you. Keep praying. Keep studying. Keep worshipping. One day, that struggle you had will be a super highway to help others get through their tough days. Your mistake will be a thing of the past and your message will light the way for someone else’s future.
Hugs and blessings, 2 mama
by Chrys Howard | Mar 13, 2019 | Featured, Testimonies |
When my kids were young, I spent hours at the sewing machine. I loved taking a piece of fabric and some ribbon and lace and creating something unique and special. When Sadie and the other granddaughters came along, more dresses were made. But, before I could blink, all my little’s outgrew the smocked creations and they were carefully stored away. I now have some new nieces and it thrills me to wash and starch and iron and get them ready for more Sunday morning to-go-church-wearing.
I seriously love these dresses. I know everything about them. Which ones were harder to make. Which one of them doesn’t look very nice on the inside. Which one of them was supposed to have pink ribbon, but I ran out and put white. There are well over a hundred of them—hanging neatly in a closet and I know details about every one of them. I guess I love them because I made them. They bring me joy. I have pride in my work on them. I picked out the fabric, thoughtfully chose the ribbon, decided on the perfect lace and then shaped the dress together. I look at them and think, “I made that!”
Oh, how God must love us. We are His creation. Just as I did at the fabric store–picking and choosing–God personally and carefully chose every detail as he created YOU. The bible says it this way, “For we are His workmanship.” That means He worked to put you together. Can you even wrap your head around that thought? Think about something you have created. It might not be a dress, but perhaps a painting or a flower arrangement or a scrapbook. Making something—anything– is a very personal adventure. It requires attention to detail and personal choice and careful planning and patience waiting for the outcome and then, satisfaction at the end result. That is what God did for you! He personally attended to every detail—the size of your feet, the color of your eyes, whether your hair curls or is straight as a board, your ability to sing or not sing or play the piano or not play—everything about you was put before God’s eyes and then He said, “I want this for her!”
While I hate to admit it, I have looked at others and wished for the things God picked out for them. Yes, I’ve done it. I’ve thought to myself, God, if only you had given me that talent, I could have done great things. I just know if God would have gifted me with an amazing voice I would have used it to glorify Him, but He didn’t. Then, I’ve thought about what it would feel like if I presented a new mom with one of my handmade baby dresses and her response would have been, “I wish this dress was blue instead of white. And I would have liked it better if you didn’t put a collar on it.” I would have been heartbroken. Crushed. Devastated. After all my hard work, the recipient of my creation was disappointed.
God must feel the same when we don’t praise Him for how He made us. When we look in the mirror and shake our heads instead of saying, “Yes, God, I am fearfully and wonderfully made!” You see, that’s something else the bible says– we are fearfully and wonderfully made. What does that mean? That means we can do things other creations can’t do. Did you know humans are the only creation who can understand and participate in creating things? The gift of creation is given to everyone. We are told we are made in His image and God is a creator. While our creative gifts manifest themselves a little differently than God’s (we don’t call mountains into being) still we are capable of creating, putting things together, building and fashioning as no other creation can do . Also, we’re the only ones in creation who can form opinions and make judgment calls or discern between right and wrong. We’re the only ones who understand time—present and past and eternity. Beyond those cool things, our bodies are magnificent works of art. Our heart, brain, kidneys, lungs, blood system—all work together every day to keep us walking and talking. It’s a miracle that only a loving and brilliant God could create and sustain.
So many times we look at our outward appearance and are disappointed with how God finished up His magnificent project. Often we compare our talents to other’s talents and feel like God cheated us in some way. Let’s all stop looking for a prettier face or more musical talent or a better swan dive or a higher ACT score. Instead, let’s focus on how God made you and me–in His image and uniquely different from anyone else so He could carry out the plan He has for our life and no one else’s. Let’s marvel that this body we have can run and play and dance and sing and think and understand and listen and speak and blink and snap and on and on and on….because our good, good Father created us.
You are perfect in every way. Don’t ever think otherwise.
Hugs, Chrys (2-mama)
Chrys Howard is an editor and writer, serves as president of the board of a Christian camp in Louisiana, and hosts a weekly radio show. She is also the proud grandma of fourteen, including Sadie.
Her more recent book is Rockstar Grandparent. Stay connected with Chrys on Instagram: @chryshoward, website: chryshoward.com, facebook: Chrys Shackelford Howard
by Chrys Howard | Oct 5, 2017 | Life Advice, Testimonies |
So many “old folks” write about the things this new generation, your generation, will never see or hear: looking through the Sears catalog; watching American Bandstand; sitting on the kitchen floor talking softly to a boyfriend so the rest of your family doesn’t hear; laying on a blanket in the yard with a transistor radio for hours waiting for one certain song to come on; going to a drive-in movie wearing pajamas.
All of these things were a part of our generation’s life. But, not yours.
With each generation things change. Your cell phone was our TV. Parents worried about the dangers of TV. No, not the dangers you think about. They weren’t worried about what we might see or hear. There was nothing bad on TV (another thing our generation enjoyed). Our danger was in the TV itself. We were told the TV emitted radiation that could harm our eyes. So, every mother regularly yelled, “Don’t sit too close to the television. You’ll ruin your eyes.” Fortunately for all of us, that danger was short lived. As technology solved the problem, there was no need for the warning anymore.
So, what would I tell my younger self? What warnings would have been helpful? Would I want her to know that everything she would wish for in life would come true? That she will have a good husband who loves her unconditionally and children who make her proud and grandkids she adores. Or would it be better to leave the ending as a surprise?
I think it’s better to keep quiet about endings. Sometimes when we know the ending, the journey isn’t as much fun or we don’t work as hard, right?
But, I would tell her that the future is amazing and awesome and scary and exciting and fun and terrifying. I would tell her to learn everything she can learn and be ready for whatever God puts in her path. I would want her to know that God can use her even if she’s not ready, but the journey will be better if she’s prepared. So read the bible, go to Sunday school, listen to those older and wiser, attend summer camp–soak it all up. She will need every bit of it.
I would tell her to stay open to new ideas. There’s a new wave in the future where teenagers by the thousands get together and worship – sometimes in stadiums where football games are played. Her grandchildren will be able to turn on their radios and hear Christian music anytime of the day. So, she should keep singing Amazing Grace and The Old Rugged Cross because being grounded in her faith will help her children and grandchildren be grounded in theirs.
I would tell her to be brave so she can pave the way for those to follow. Be strong and courageous about following Jesus, joining the workforce, and raising a family. Tomorrow’s women will be brave and strong and vocal and she shouldn’t be afraid for her granddaughters. They will inherit an America that values women and embraces their powerful stories. Her granddaughters will do just fine speaking their mind and changing the world. They will have many opportunities to tell others about God and show the world how knowing God makes life better.
I would tell her to stop worrying that a car wreck or plane crash or disease will take her parents from her before she’s ready. I would tell her that God’s plan is always perfect and His love for His children includes protection from things unseen. And, even though she can’t imagine a world without them, God has a plan for her parents too. Stop worrying about what she can’t change.
I would tell her to stop stressing that she doesn’t measure up to others who seem smarter, cuter, better dressed, or funnier. I would tell her that God isn’t finished with her yet. She will be everything she desires to be. I would tell her to change her wish list to include brave, kind, strong, faithful, and loving. Forget cute, smart, better dressed and funny. Those things only get her so far in life. The rest of the journey is traveled best with the fruits of the spirit. I would tell her to look in the mirror and only see the princess God created – destined for His greatness, designed for His service.
I would want my younger self to know that a good husband isn’t about those things either. Cute, funny and smart are good traits, but they come way behind faithful, kind, loving, God-honoring, and patient. I would tell her to look in the right places for the right partner. Stay away from places where a good man wouldn’t go anyway. The future statistics are grim for divorce, so choose wisely. But, don’t look for perfection. The perfect man isn’t out there. I would tell her to find the one who serves a perfect God with all his heart, soul and mind.
I would remind her that family will always be important. That friends will come and go, and are valuable, but family will always be by her side. They will be the ones to show up when she moves or graduates or gets married or has babies or is sick or throws a party. Family will be her first source of comfort when times are tough and her first applause when times are joyful. Even though she might not like her siblings right now, I would tell her to love them always and cherish the times she has with them. I would tell her that her years with her siblings are short. Don’t waste them fighting and arguing over silly things, like who gets to sit in the front seat.
I would tell her that life will get hard. I want her to understand that it’s not for any reason, except life is hard. No one escapes tough times. Divorce, death, job loss, serious illness, children problems—all of these things are in her future in some way, but she will be okay. Better than okay. She will use each trial to grow closer to God. I would tell her to embrace the trial and look to God in every situation, because He is always there – not causing the pain, but there to absorb the pain. As God soaks in her pain, she will gain strength from Him. I would remind her of Deuteronomy 31:8 that tells her that the LORD himself goes before her and will never forsake her, so don’t be afraid or discouraged.
I would tell her to never give up. I would tell her that life can be overwhelming, but there is always a new day tomorrow. That job that seems too hard to do; that illness that seems too difficult to face; that relationship that seems too far gone to mend; that problem that seems too daunting to fix—all will look better after a good night’s sleep, a talk with Jesus, and the words and comfort of someone who loves her. I would tell her to never stop doing the right thing; always put one foot in front of the other and move forward, however slowly it is, move forward.
I would tell her to smile and be happy and enjoy life. I would tell her to run, dance, and play more. I would say kiss your husband, snuggle your babies, hug your siblings, wave to your neighbors, shake hands with strangers and laugh with everyone more. Life is way shorter than she can possibly imagine. Live it—more deliberately, more intentionally, more thankfully.
Hugs, “Older” Me
by Chrys Howard | Aug 9, 2017 | Hope, Joy, Life Advice, LO Library, Prayer, Testimonies |
Hi everyone! If you don’t know me I’m Sadie’s other grandma. The not-famous one. She and most of the kids in our area call me 2-mama. I appreciate the opportunity to share with you. I wanted to write a little about our recent mission trip. Well, actually, I don’t even like to use the phrase “mission trip” and here’s why:
Our church family discovered an orphanage in the little town of Neyba in the Dominican Republic around 10 years ago. I’ll never forget the first time I walked through that house. It was crowded, dark, and extremely hot. The tiny kitchen had a broken refrigerator and a stove with one working burner. The bathroom (it’s a stretch to call it that) was in the backyard with no plumbing attached (in other words, nothing ever flushed). Speaking of the backyard (again, a stretch), it was fenced-in with what looked like tall sticks wired together. The building sits right in middle of the town so it’s important to have some protection. Inside the house was three rooms. One for the boys, one for the girls and one for the house parents. The eighteen children who lived there were stacked three high in make-shift bunk beds and many of the mattresses were so old the imprint of the child who slept there never went away.
The faces of those sweet children reflected the despair of the conditions they were living in. We were shocked and saddened by what we saw, and we came home determined to make a difference. Over the years, our church family rallied together to see to it that our “Dominican Kids” would know what hope and love and grace and protection look like. We were able to remodel their kitchen, provide indoor plumbing and a better fence. We also replaced flattened mattresses with new ones. But God wasn’t done with this home.
“I always say if you don’t have a passport, get one. Then say, “Lord, send me.” Be ready for a big adventure to come your way.”
Two years ago we joined forces with an organization called Help One Now. They are dedicated to helping kids around the world find sponsors in America to help with the necessities of life—food, shelter, education, etc. With their help, a second story was added and now the boys and girls are on different floors and each have their own bathroom. One of the older boys told us last week that he never dreamed he would live in such a nice house.
When I was asked to be a part of the team going in 2008, I knew I wanted my grandchildren and other young people in our church family to be a part of this ministry. At 12 years old, John Luke was the first of my grands to go with me. The DR kids loved him so much and immediately attached themselves to him. I remember leaving the first VBS we put on in the town. We nearly had to get a police escort to get us out. The kids loved John Luke so much, they crowded around him, not wanting him to leave. I told him he was like a rock star. The next year Sadie went with me and I had two rock stars. The DR kids loved both of them. Keep in mind this was way before Duck Dynasty. John Luke and Sadie were just young kids willing to go on a mission trip. After that, more and more family went with me. This last trip ten of my family members went along with twelve others from our church. Now you understand why it’s more like a family reunion.
Over the years, some of our DR kids have gotten older and moved on. We continue to keep up with them and help in any way we can. We’re determined to pour into them as long as we can. My grandkids and other young people who go with us join our team in this effort. They lead singing, put on dramas, help with crafts and read scriptures. Mostly, and most importantly, they love them. They are their friends. We’ve always said, love has no language barrier and it’s true. I’m always amazed at how our “kids” from two different countries can communicate when they don’t speak the language. A hug in any language is still a hug. Right? Just like shooting a basketball works in any language and so does making a friendship bracelet.
As I was flying home, I sat next to a man from Canada. He wanted to know why I was in the DR. He was there for work. After I told him, he was quiet for a minute, then he said he often stays in the nicer hotels in Santo Domingo and he notices many groups who come on “mission trips” stay in a nice hotel. He said, “I have a problem with that.” I said “Why?” He said, “If you’re coming to help poor people, shouldn’t you live like they do?” I agreed that putting the whole 1st world and 3rd world thing in the proper perspective can be difficult. But, here’s how I look at it.
Each year, maybe two or three times a year, my family will go to a country to help people who will never see a cell phone or drive a car or wear new shoes or go to a mall. But, here’s the deal, the fact that I live in a nice house and drive a car and have a cell doesn’t keep anyone in a 3rd world country in poverty. My circumstances in America won’t change their conditions. But, my heart and what I do with the money I make in America can and does. The man stating his problem with those staying in a nice hotel probably does nothing himself to help the poor; yet he passes judgement on those who do.
After our first trip to the DR, one of the local workers from the area said to our group, “Please don’t go home and feel guilty for what you have. Go home and be grateful. Then, decide how you can give back.” Those were, and still are, very wise words. We are blessed in America. Even our poorest do not compare to the poverty in other countries. So, what do we do with that? We thank God for our blessings and give back to others. That’s what God calls us to do.
I always say if you don’t have a passport, get one. Then say, “Lord, send me.” Be ready for a big adventure to come your way.
Hugs, 2-mama
