“Lord, I passionately love you and I’m bonded to you. I want to embrace you, for now you’ve become my power! You’re as real to me as bedrock beneath my feet, like a castle on a cliff, my forever firm fortress, my mountain of hiding, my pathway of escape, my tower of rescue where none can reach me. My secret strength and shield around me, you are salvation’s ray of brightness shining on the hillside, always the champion of my cause. All I need to do is to call to you, singing to you, the praiseworthy God. When I do, I’m safe and sound in you.” ~ Psalm 18: 1-3 TPT
I grew up in a Christian home and I have an amazing family and I couldn’t dream of having more amazing parents. They have continually shown me Jesus by the way they live their lives and the way they love me unconditionally. But Jesus has never become more real to me than He has this past year and a half.
He’s always been as real, and I’d like to say I’ve always believed He was as real, but in this season I’ve seen Him and felt Him like I never had quite before. He has become “as real to me as bedrock beneath my feet”.
A few months ago it was a Friday night (the night it feels like you should always have plans) and I didn’t have any! I had just dropped my friend off somewhere and I was driving back to the house. On my way home I could feel my heart begin to feel disappointed. Not because I didn’t have plans, but because when it gets quiet the enemy usually hits me with the “What are you doing with your life?” question. And if I let it that thought only produces more fear questions… all questions that take God and His faithfulness out of the equation. Because the enemy never reminds us of who Jesus is or our identity as a son or daughter.
So driving home, I had a choice to make. I can either allow the enemy to have this night and have my thoughts, and I can be disappointed…OR, I can set my eyes, my heart, and my emotions on Jesus and I can enjoy a quiet night with Him.
Thankfully I chose Him, because that Friday became my favorite Friday of all Fridays thus far.
When I got home I cooked dinner for myself, turned on some worship music, and sat down at the table. I thought to myself “I’m just gonna have dinner with Jesus”… but what I didn’t realize is that this was about to be the most satisfying meal I’d ever had.
After I sat down I realized I forgot to get myself something to drink. So I got up and got myself a glass of water. When I sat the glass of water down, I heard the Holy Spirit say to me, “Laney, would you get me a glass of water too?”
This might sound a little crazy to you, and It definitely crossed my mind what my roommates would think if they walked in and saw me sitting at the table by myself and two glasses of water, but I did it anyway! Getting my Savior a glass of water brought tears to my eyes. I couldn’t quite contain what my heart was feeling and I had never felt so loved by serving someone a glass of water before.
After I did this, again I went to sit down and before my bottom even hit the chair I heard “would you make me a plate too?”
By this point you might think I’m delusional because maybe you’ve never heard Jesus say something to you quite like this… but something I’ve learned is that it’s not that He’s not speaking, it’s just that sometimes we don’t allow ourselves and our lives to get quiet and still enough to hear Him. Anyways, back to what I was saying! So I got up and made Him a plate. I sat it across from me and began listening and talking to Him just like I would my best friend. No the food didn’t disappear, but Jesus knew what getting Him a glass of water and making Him a plate of food would do for me. His purpose in asking me to do this was for me to see and know how near He was and how REAL He is. Nothing else I could’ve done that night could’ve been more important or more satisfying than getting my Savior a glass of water.
I had never felt so honored and so important.
“So what’d you do Friday night?”
“Oh just served Jesus a glass of water AND made him dinner… it’s chill.”
Haha but seriously, nothing could’ve caused me to have FOMO that night because there’s nothing else on earth I would’ve rather been doing.
This felt like a very intimate story for me to share and I wrestled with whether or not to share it because it’s so special to me and I wondered if people may not understand it. But my goal in sharing this isn’t to make you understand my story. My goal and my hope is to encourage you in how NEAR your Jesus is to you right now. May my story encourage you to allow yourself to have your own story of an intimate time with Him where He meets you in a way that you’ve never experienced Him before.
“…Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, And let your soul delight itself in abundance…” Isaiah 55:2