Have you forgotten whose you are in pursuit of who you want to be?

Have you ever struggled to introduce yourself at a dinner party with new acquaintances? I remember a season in my marriage when my husband, Troy, was no longer in the public ministry and career path he’d planned to give his life to, and had not yet found his footing in what the Lord had for him. Introductions at dinner parties were difficult at best because, “Hi, my name is . . .” tends to be followed by a question about what you “do” professionally. And when you’re not “doing” anything worthy of broadcasting on LinkedIn, it can feel like you don’t know who you are.

In that season, I watched my husband lean in and con- verse with the Lord about his identity more than I had ever seen him wrestle before. On the other side of the struggle, Troy’s identity in Christ proved to be his anchor, even as other measurables in his life took an unexpected turn.

For many of us, a global pandemic brought about similar wrestlings. Who am I? Or, perhaps more accurately, Who am I when I can’t do what I’m known for?

Sometimes we attempt to simplify things, even though it’s not at all simple. “Be yourself,” they say. (With the adage, “Because everyone else is taken.” Cute.) But to open up social media is to imagine that for many, this is an easy, achievable assignment. On social media, people seem to define themselves by where they live, what clothes they wear, the friends they keep, and the work that keeps them occupied day to day. We see it in profiles, and we feel it in ourselves: We want to declare who we are, so we work tirelessly to define ourselves by what we do.

We create groups on social media to gather all the people who think like us or prioritize the same things we do. We gravitate to people we want to emulate and try to present ourselves the way we’d like to be perceived. But what if “yourself ” is not as easy to arrive at as it seems? Are we really just the sum of our likes, dislikes, and accomplishments?

The Christian life is like nothing the world prescribes and everything the world longs for. Here’s how Elyse Fitzpatrick described it: “Too many of us are suffering from spiritual amnesia; an amnesia that has obscured our true identity as it’s been defined by the gospel.”19

Our amnesia leads us to define ourselves by:

our accomplishments

our children

our homes

our lifestyle choices

our service to the Lord

But when we put our hope in Christ, we are given new gospel identities. Let me remind you what God’s Word says our true identity is in Christ. (Spoiler alert, it has nothing to do with what we do, have, or choose.) We are:

friends of Jesus, not merely servants (John 15:15)

forgiven and free, not condemned (Romans 8:1–2)

made new (2 Corinthians 5:17)

citizens of heaven (Philippians 3:20)

children of God (John 1:12)

God’s workmanship (Ephesians 2:10)

ambassadors of Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20)

belonging to Jesus (Romans 8:9)

While so much more can be said about our identity in Christ, I want to lean into the last one from this list: In our new identities as Christ-followers, we belong to Jesus.

Why is this important? It’s important because whose we are defines who we are.

You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. (Romans 8:9)

Spiritual realities affect earthly realities.

It’s a spiritual reality when the Spirit of God comes to dwell in you.

It’s a spiritual reality that you no longer submit to what your flesh wants. It’s a spiritual reality that your home is in heaven and not of this earth.

It’s a spiritual reality that Jesus doesn’t welcome you based on your accomplishments but rather on his finished work on the cross.

It’s a spiritual reality that, in Christ, you are now tethered to the power of the Spirit rather than your natural fleshly desires.

These spiritual realities will change the way you see your identity here on earth if you understand the underlying truth: You belong to Jesus, and you were made to find your worth, your satisfaction, and your purpose in him.

Have you forgotten whose you are in the pursuit of who you want to be? I get it, friend, but don’t be fooled; the path to happiness is not more self- love and greater self-fulfillment. The goal of knowing yourself is a worthy goal only if it leads you to a mirror that reveals your need for Christ. When you belong to Jesus, identity in Christ is the realest self-discovery there is. It’s discovering who you were made to be from the very start: known, loved, and free.

No wonder Jesus warned, “Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will keep it” (Luke 17:33). In other words, don’t chase identity in things of earth; God made you for himself. That’s where true life is found. To “be yourself ” is not nearly as amazing as what it means to be his.

So walk with confidence. Step out in assurance, knowing you are not the sum of what you have or have not accomplished. Your heavenly Father sees you, knows you, and has called you his own. Go ahead, unapologetically introduce yourself to all who must know: “Hello, my name is . . . his.”

Taken from The Way of the Wildflower by Ruth Chou Simons. Copyright Ruth Chou Simons (October 2025) by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission of Thomas Nelson, www.thomasnelson.com.

Ruth Chou Simons is a Wall Street Journal bestselling and award-winning author of several books and Bible studies, including The Way of the Wildflower, GraceLaced, Beholding and Becoming, When Strivings Cease, and Now and Not Yet. She is an artist, podcaster, speaker, and the founder, CEO, and Chief Creative Officer of GraceLaced, an art and lifestyle brand. Simons uses each of these platforms to spiritually sow the Word of God into people’s hearts, making deep truths beautifully accessible with her signature art and relatable communication style. Simons has been featured on Good Morning America, Fox, Christianity Today, and Hallmark Home and Family. Ruth and her husband, Troy, live in Western Colorado and are grateful parents to six boys—their greatest adventure.