This is excerpted from The Way of Wisdom Bible study by Jen Wilkin, Ruth Chou Simons, Kelly Minter, Adrienne Camp, Elizabeth Woodson, and Courtney Doctor.

One of the greatest treasures God has given us is that of friendship. We were never meant to walk through life alone. God created us to live in community. Clipping flowers from a neighbor’s yard or meeting up with a friend over coffee aren’t merely conveniences. These activities symbolize the people we have around us. They remind us we’re not alone. When life’s heavy downpours threaten to soak us to the bone, our community offers us a warm blanket and a shoulder to rest our head on. Second only to Christ, our network of people is everything.

As beautiful as relationships are, they can be challenging. This has always been the case, which is why the book of Proverbs has so much to say about how to be a good friend and neighbor. In a very real sense, our lives depend upon it.

According to Proverbs, one of the prized characteristics of a good friend and neighbor is faithfulness. Let’s dive into this theme today.

Faithfulness can also be described as loyalty or constancy. A. A. Milne, beloved author of Winnie the Pooh, describes the beauty of constancy when writing about the friendship of Piglet and Pooh.

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. “Pooh?” he whispered. “Yes, Piglet?” “Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s hand. “I just wanted to be sure of you.”1

This is the gift of constancy.

Proverbs 20:6 says, “Many a person proclaims his own loyalty, but who can find a trustworthy person?”

The word the CSB translates as “loyalty” here is the Hebrew word hesed (some translations use “unfailing love”). This is the strongest word for love in the Old Testament. It conveys the idea of covenant love, often used to describe God’s constant and committed faithfulness toward Israel.2

It is a love that never lets go, always keeping its promises. In this verse, the contrast is between speech and reality.3 In other words, a lot of people will claim to have undying loyalty for another person, but the truly loyal person is the one who acts on it when the rubber meets the road.

I’ve known my two closest friends for over twenty years. Collectively, we’ve walked through the deaths of family members, the terrible suffering of parents, job changes, debilitating depression, losses in business and relationships, and complicated family situations. In some seasons it would have been easier for any one of us to run than to stay. But we have remained constant in each others’ lives because of our commitment to Christ and each other. We haven’t been perfect, but we’ve been present.

Let’s consider three Proverbs to better unpack what it means to be a faithful friend.

Proverbs 17:17: A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a difficult time.

Proverbs 17:17 doesn’t appear to contrast friend with brother, rather it intensifies the first statement. The friend who always loves no matter how hard things get is like the ultimate example of a brother who is made to help in the most challenging of times.

The wisdom writer could have simply said that “a friend loves” (Prov. 17:17), and we would have all gotten on board. It’s the three little words that follow—“at all times”— that change everything. Hanging in there with our loved ones through thick and thin requires patience, endurance, sacrifice, and hope. No one modeled this kind of love more than Jesus. Most importantly, loving this way is the way that Christ loves us.

Proverbs 18:24: One with many friends may be harmed, but there is a friend who stays closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24 can be translated, “A person who has unreliable companions is about to be broken, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”4 The friend in this verse most likely refers to a wise person who belongs to the faithful community of Israel and to God Himself.5 The point is that the quality of friends is better than the quantity. It’s better to have one loyal friend than to have a host of fair weather ones, since a close friend may be more committed than even a family member. There’s nothing wrong with having a lot of friends, but it’s good to have one or two close friends who are committed to strengthening our relationship with Christ.

We strengthen our friends in Christ when we pray for them, encourage them to make decisions grounded in God’s Word, and stay consistent when times are hard. Loyalty matters. Commitment is a beautiful aspect of Christian friendship.

Proverbs 27:10: Don’t abandon your friend or your father’s friend, and don’t go to your brother’s house in your time of calamity; better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away.

Proverbs 27:10 isn’t the easiest for scholars to translate, but the brother here seems to be someone who lives far away and is not easily accessible. The point is that it is not good to abandon your friends and neighbors (even family friends) in a pressing time of need by running off to a relative. “The tried and tested friend and true neighbor stick closer than a remote brother.”6 God has set us in neighborhoods, school systems, and local churches. When difficulty rolls into these communities, what is our commitment level?

Proverbs has a lot to say about the importance of having good friends and brothers (family members). Jesus expands upon this ideal in Luke 8:19-21:

Then his mother and brothers came to him, but they could not meet with him because of the crowd. He was told, “Your mother and your brothers are standing outside, wanting to see you.” But he replied to them, “My mother and my brothers are those who hear and do the word of God.”

Jesus’s definition of family here should encourage us to be especially committed to our brothers and sisters in Christ. Anyone can be a fickle friend who only sticks around when it’s beneficial. But the commitment of a loyal friend runs deep. This is one of the messages of Proverbs, a message that is greatly expanded and fulfilled in the body of Christ. It is our faithfulness to one another, even when life is hard, that sets us apart from the world’s shallow and fleeting relationships, which are so easily acquired and disposed of. This steadfast faithfulness only flows from Christ Himself. Let us seek Him for it so we may share it with others.

Kelly Minter is passionate about God’s Word and believes it permeates all of life. The personal healing and steadfast hope she’s found in the pages of Scripture fuel her passion to connect God’s Word to our everyday lives. When she’s not writing or teaching, you can find her tending her garden, taking a walk with friends, cooking for her nieces and nephews, riding a boat down the Amazon River, or walking through a Moldovan village with Justice & Mercy International. Kelly holds a master’s degree in Biblical and Theological Studies from Denver Seminary.

References:

1. A. A. Milne, The Complete Tales of Winnie-The- Pooh (United Kingdom: Penguin Young Readers Group, 1994), 284.

2. “Proverbs 20 (CSB),” Blue Letter Bible, accessed February 20, 2025, https://www.blueletterbible.org/ csb/pro/20/6/t_conc_648006.

3. Derek Kidner, Proverbs: An Introduction and Commentary, vol. 17, Tyndale Old Testament Commentaries (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1964), 129.

4. Bruce K. Waltke, The Book of Proverbs, Chapters 15–31, The New International Commentary on the Old Testament (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 2005), 87.

5. Ibid., 96-96.

6. Ibid., 379.