Preparing More for Your Marriage Than Your Wedding

by | Aug 9, 2022 | Life Advice, Relationships, Wisdom | 5 comments

For 9 months my fiancè and I planned one day, the day came and went. People told me leading up:

“you’ll be sad when it’s over”

“you won’t know what to do with yourself when you’re wedding is over” 

“it goes by so fast, you’ll miss it” 

But none of that was my experience…I was so passionate about using our engagement season to continue to bring us to the feet of Jesus humbly and have Him prepare us to become one. That can be really difficult because of all the questions coming your way all the time. I understand, you are the only one who knows every detail about your wedding day. I know that can be overwhelming, but try your best to find your purpose in the season and keep that at the front of your mind.

Our purpose leading up to our day was:

“we are preparing more for our marriage than our wedding” 

The Lord has developed this huge heart of passion in me to share with you how easy it is to get sucked into wedding planning and forgetting about the reason you’re getting married. That is why I am here, I am excited to share with you ways to soak in your engagement season and plan your dream day intentionally.

My first piece of advice is; Don’t do it because others did it, do it because you WANT to.

There was a friend of mine who was about to order a 3-tier cake that was more money than she wanted to pay. I asked her if she was excited for it and she explained, “I am only doing it because I feel like it’s the ‘wedding’ thing to do.”

I stopped her in that moment and encouraged her that it is THEIR day, and if you two don’t want to do it, then they shouldn’t.

Details of the day are so beautiful, but when you and your fiancè’s hearts are the driving force behind your decisions, it will make your day so special.

*fun tip*

Make it a date night for you and your fiancè to try a bunch of different deserts and pick your favorite for your wedding day.

It doesn’t have to be a cake! It can be a big cookie, cheese cake, cupcake, donuts  ANYTHING!!

My second piece of advice would be to Remember Your Mission. 

A marriage is two people who are on a mission coming together as one.

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh.” (Mark 10:7-8)

It is SO easy to get consumed during your engagement season with wedding planning, but this season is so beautiful to begin to align your mission. I really believe that your single season is so important to understand your mission and who you’re living for. When you get engaged it’s your opportunity to share with your person how you’re going to go forward into marriage with your like-minded mission at hand.

Join groups, serve together, be on mission.

It is easy to fall into wedding planning every time you are together, but prioritize your quality time as preparation time. The decorations, venues, dresses, and colors will all come together but bigger doesn’t mean better if it means sacrificing time to build your relationship.

*Preparation Tip* Grab an empty Journal, Polaroid, and a pen. Take time as a couple and write down christian married couples you look up to, reach out to those couples and ask to get dinner/coffee with them. When you are with them, ask them for their best piece of marriage advice, have them write it down, take their picture and add it to their page.

Then you have a book to look back on full of advice from those you look up to!

My last reminder for you to hold tight to is that The finish line isn’t the wedding ending, it’s the starting line of your lives together.

The reality is, you wake up the day after your wedding looking at what’s important.

It’s not the cake, flowers, dresses, or table decorations.

It’s that for your whole life, God was preparing you to wake up to someone who is deciding to spend their whole life loving you.

The truth is, the devil hates marriage. He is going to do his best to distract you from preparing for your marriage. He is going to fixate your eyes on the things of the world.

Keep your eyes fixated on the beautiful celebration that is your upcoming marriage.

Congratulations friend!!

My DMs are always open!!!

Emma Gilmer is an LO Ambassador from Minnesota who is passionate about helping women find freedom from sins that tie them down. She is newly married and loves sharing her life on Instagram and TikTok!

Keep up with Emma on Instagram @emm.gilmer

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