As we are preparing to re-enter into this new season of 2020, coming out of confinement and restrictions, it’s so easy to be distracted by thoughts “when this is over I’m going to…”. I know for myself, exciting travel and gatherings were canceled, my job changed and my expectations of what this year would be has had to shift completely. However, even though this season felt like we had zero control, how much control do we actually have…

Now listen, you who say “today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money” why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life?… Instead you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that” James 4: 13- 15

In this time of quarantine, we have truly had to adopt the mind set of God’s will. We’ve gone through days of not knowing and having to let go of so much…because we just didn’t know. At the beginning of it all, it was difficult. Every day I’d go through waves of highs and lows of the what ifs/when this is over vs the contentment of the present.

I’m aware and sensitive that everyone’s experience has been unique through this season. My unique situation is that my husband is a first responder and I’m in healthcare. For the first 4 weeks of quarantine I wasn’t getting scheduled at work. In moments of strength I saw this as protection; protection for my health as well as the health of my family. I would be able to meet with the Lord daily, meditate on his word and journal through the praises and prayers of my heart. But then I would find such emptiness in points of my days and in that quiet would many times find myself disappointed/frustrated in the inability to work or spiraling in fear about my husband’s safety at work and the fears of the unknown.

What these waves showed was the real condition of my heart. High peaks of confident security in the faithfulness of the Lord’s will BUT then lows that revealed my true lack of confidence.

Going through this pattern of highs and lows was exhausting, and only life-giving half of the time…. exhaustion convicted me that I had to start making an active choice to surrender what I thought was my right to know. The future is not under my control, however I am still called to be a strong participant in it.

Isaiah 40 is a great reminder of faith and the type of participation we are called to daily,

“Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. “(v. 30-31)

I am finding myself returning, time and time again to these verses, and honestly the whole chapter. Isaiah 40 is titled Comfort for God’s People, even just the title brings comfort! And the comfort does not stop at the words of this passage… the more we fill ourselves with the truth of God’s will and the comfort of His promised future for us, the more our hearts are open to the Spirit.

“Accepting the will of God is not a burden. Instead, it should be regarded with all the reverence and joy that comes with following in the footsteps of God himself” – The Jesus bible

I now see this time of quarantine as an exercise of faith and a strengthening of my true surrender and participation in God’s will. Naturally we will continue to experience moments of weakness or lows but my prayer and hope for the future is that we are able to stay strong in this surrender as we re-enter the illusion of a life that we have more control.

Take some time to read through Isaiah 40, take the verses that speak to your heart and use them as tools to guide you and provide you with the comfort that the title promises.

Kristina is a Physician Assistant with a passion for speaking truth and providing care in both Women’s Ministry and Women’s health. She currently resides in Southern California with her Husband. Her favorite days involve long walks, coffee chats with girlfriends and relaxing on the beach watching her husband surf.

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Kristina Washburn

Author Kristina Washburn

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