“I am a lion finding its roar
I was just a shadow, but now I’m much more.
I will no longer be silent.
I will no longer be still.
I am a lion who found their roar.”
I found this poem I wrote last November. As I read it, I began to think about all the emotions you feel when comparison takes over. “I was just a shadow, but now I’m much more” during the time I was writing this, I was overcoming a battle of comparison. I had just really started looking like my sister, Sadie. Although I love this compliment so much, I was also getting comments like “Wow! You look so much like Sadie, but she’s the prettier one.” For a long time, I let comments like these come in and steal my joy. I let comments like that define me.
In the midst of feeling like I was in the shadow of Sadie, I found myself in another shadow – the shadow of HIS wing, and of all places that is where I found my roar. I found my confidence in the sacred place. Little did I know, that would soon be where I thrived. After I began to get in touch with Jesus, I found that I could be so powerful if I just had confidence! I had to stop trying to be confident in the things that stole my confidence, and that I was just a lot different than Sadie.
Sometimes, we try to find confidence in what we think others find their confidence in because it may look cool or be the “IT” thing, but the only place that got me was a shadow. When your mindset is all on Jesus and not another person, confidence comes relatively easy. When your focus is on a person you find comparison, but when your mindset is on Jesus you overflow with confidence.
When I thought I had to be like Sadie, a pressure came on me that began to silence my roar. But as I searched for my voice in whom Jesus made me to be, I realized who Bella was. Guess what, she’s a lot different then Sadie and really everyone in my family. Can you relate? Well, if you on the other side of the screen know exactly how it feels can I just say this…IT IS NORMAL AND OKAY TO BE DIFFERENT. That is what makes the body of Christ so beautiful. It actually makes Sadie and I a more powerful pair of sisters because of our differences. She has taught me how to live original, and I have taught her how to live fearless. When we understand our differences can be our greatest strengths, we empower each other to be the strongest, boldest and loudest we have ever been.
Here are some things about me:
I love to cook. Sadie almost set our house on fire trying to make mac and cheese. I love to sit in my space and listen to music. Sadie has never been into music. If it’s Friday night, you will find me cheering on all my guy friends at a football game, and Sadie would be calling the quarter’s innings. I love to be the person behind the camera taking Sadie’s picture. She literally has to beg me to take a pic with her. It’s just not my thing. I can out sass anyone in my family. I have mastered the dry sense of humor and sarcasm if a craft – don’t even try using sarcasm on Sadie because it goes right over her head. When I finally found out these are just parts of what makes me, ME, and not what makes me opposite of my sister, my roar got louder once again.
Without Jesus, none of this would’ve been made possible. Jesus helped me understand my worth, and to know your worth is to have confidence. If you truly believe your worthless, then where is your confidence? Jesus died on the cross to show you that you are worth more than you could EVER imagine, and that is what I am confident in. I have confidence because I know I am worth more. I have come a long way in my relationship with Jesus, and I still have got a long way to go. I pray that my journey through this will open your eyes and see what Jesus is trying to do in your heart, and with everything in me I hope you find your ROAR.