How to Discern When to Persevere and When to Quit
Several years ago, as I was mulling over a decision that had been weighing heavily on me, I stumbled across these words in the book of Matthew during my quiet meditation. I’d read them before, but for some reason, the words took on new meaning that day:
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30
I had been working on a project, and to be blunt, I dreaded the work. It wasn’t that it was hard. Someone else might have loved it. But I didn’t. It wasn’t purposeful. It wasn’t a good use of my strengths. It wouldn’t lead to a better opportunity. It took up a lot of time that could have been better used elsewhere. This combination of facts made it more than just “hard” for me. It was a different feeling: This work felt burdensome. Burdensome wasn’t just hard. It felt heavy and demanding—too heavy and demanding. It was completely draining because I’d run out of energy for it.
As I ran across those words from Matthew that day, it occurred to me that, although the things I am meant to do in my life may be difficult, they are not burdensome. God’s yoke is easy and his burden is light, I was reminded. And with that insight, the decision about whether to continue this work became much easier. Someone else could do it better and more joyfully. I would trust that if something is meant for me to do, the burden will be light—even if the task itself is difficult.
Running a business, leading a team, or managing relationships may sometimes be hard and challenging, but they should energize you or at least feel meaningful and purposeful. This distinction between difficult and burdensome has guided me now for years. I invite you to take note of the key distinctions between activities that are hard and those that are burdensome:
1. You’re working hard and you’re tired, but deep down, you’re energized by the work. When something is hard or challenging but you are energized by it, that can be a sign that you are right in the midst of your sweet spot. There is a certain gratification that comes from laboring at something aligned with your purpose. You can give everything you have and yet still have the energy to keep going.
2. You feel stretched but not broken. Difficult tasks and situations stretch you. They empower you to learn and grow and become more of the person you are meant to be. Growth, by its very definition, expands you into a bigger version of yourself.
3. You are at peace even in the midst of the chaos. Some seasons of life are very difficult, even chaotic. You look forward to getting through them, even when you feel uniquely equipped to handle them. Chaos can swirl around you, and yet you remain calm. You are at peace.
4. There is purpose in the pain. Difficult tasks and situations fulfill a purpose. Burdensome ones distract you from your purpose. Demanding but purposeful situations can transform you, give you clarity, strengthen relationships, and mature you so that you are better prepared for the future. They lead you toward your purpose. If you can see that by persevering, you’ll find the reward to be worth it, stick with the challenging task. Making sacrifices for a greater purpose can make difficult tasks meaningful.
Those who persevere do so for a reason. They know their purpose and why they must persevere. That purpose fuels their perseverance. To be resilient, you must know if there is a greater purpose in persevering through your challenge, and if so, what that purpose is.
Being doggedly persistent about the wrong goal is not authentic resilience. It is not adaptability. It often stems from stubbornness, pride, and fear. Yes, there are times when giving up demonstrates an absence of grit. But giving up can also mean the presence of wisdom. The courage to step down, step away, or step aside can be a sign of profound resilience. What feels like defeat may actually be a triumph.
When I walked away from a full-time job as a marketing director to pursue my entrepreneurial dream to run a public relations firm, fear of failure definitely whispered doubts. Are you sure you want to quit your job? My answer was yes. Quitting would be necessary if I was going to head into the future as a business owner rather than an employee. Then when I walked away from a successful business in public relations to pursue the work I do now, it was following my purpose that called me forward.
Sometimes quitting is the most resilient thing you can do. Something doesn’t have to be wrong in order to be the wrong thing . . . for you. Knowing when to walk away and then finding the courage to do so is powerful. Quitting the wrong thing is often the only way to make space for the right thing. As you grow and learn, you become wiser. Sometimes the wisest decision you can make is to stop doing something that serves no purpose for you and begin saying yes only to the people and things that serve a meaningful purpose. When you take this approach, persevering becomes so much easier. Purpose becomes leverage that lightens the load of perseverance. It provides fuel for the long journey and gives you the grace to do hard things.
Adapted from Rules of Resilience: 10 Ways Successful People Get Better, Wiser, and Stronger by Valorie Burton, releasing in September 2025. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, a Division of Tyndale House Ministries. All rights reserved.
