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What If You Don’t Feel Content?

What If You Don’t Feel Content?

The idea of contentment gets thrown around a lot in Christian circles. If I’m honest, sometimes I get squirmy with the word contentment. Maybe it’s because when I was single, well-meaning people liked to tell me, “You’ll meet someone once you’re truly content.” Or maybe it’s because, single or not, this contentment thing has always felt like an impossible game to win.

At times I’ve assumed, If I want something, I won’t get it. But if I don’t want something, then I will get it. I feel like I have to try to manipulate my contentment. If I don’t want it or if I’m truly content, maybe then God will give it to me.

Whether I’m longing for a new season, an exciting change, or something deeper, I try to make myself not want it because I’ve come to believe that’s what contentment is all about.

Maybe you’ve been in a similar situation. You’ve tried to make yourself not want something you deeply desire because you think not wanting it will lead to contentment with what you currently have. But I think we’ve missed something important: Desire and contentment are not mutually exclusive.

Longing for something doesn’t mean never finding rest for your soul.

If I were to define contentment, I’d say: Contentment is an inward trust that God is both good and in control of my life, even when I wish my outward circumstances were different.

In Philippians 4, Paul tells us he learned the secret of contentment, and it’s a little unexpected: “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:12-13).

Desire and contentment are not mutually exclusive.

But how we act on our desires is important. Here are a few questions to ask yourself today to see if you are letting your desires dictate your contentment:

Are you letting your desires lead you to sin? (James 1:4)

Are you letting your desires hinder your relationships? (Colossians 3:5)

Are you letting your desires move you closer to God or further away from Him? (Galatians 5:16)

What’s the secret then? To deny our needs and wants? No, Paul didn’t fake his contentment. Nor did he find it because his circumstances were perfect. The contentment he found only came from Christ, not his own strength.

Even this sounds a little elusive. How do we find contentment in Christ?

I don’t know about you, but I love to think I can do things in my own strength. But I’m not as strong as I think I am. Try as I might, I can’t muster up my own contentment.

Contentment means living in God’s fullness, which means contentment is possible because it’s independent of our circumstances.

If you’re like me and wrestle with this, the Bible offers us practical ways to be content in our wanting. We can:

Fix our thoughts on godly things. (Philippians 4:8)

Remember what God has already done. (Psalm 103:1)

Talk to God; ask for what we want and seek His will in prayer. (Matthew 7:7-12)

Contentment means living in God’s fullness, which means contentment is possible because it’s independent of our circumstances.

We love verses like Ephesians 3:20: “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.”

Immeasurably more than all I can ask or imagine? Sign me up! I’d be super content with that. But the “immeasurably more” isn’t found in my life looking the way I want it to.

God’s fullness looks like verses 14-19:

“For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

God cares more about our internal being than our external circumstances. Note what Paul calls the fullness of God: strength in your inner being, Christ dwelling in you, rooted and established in love, to grasp the love of Christ, to know his love.

God’s fullness does not change. He is “the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8).

But this doesn’t mean we won’t still have desires. You can be content in Christ and still want something to be different.

Even when we finally get that one big thing we desired for so long, it won’t be long before we want something else.

In fact, I don’t know if we can truly be without desire and totally content this side of heaven. As long as we are alive, we are waiting for Jesus to come make all things new. Our longing for something more isn’t going to go away. But we can trust the Holy Spirit to help us experience contentment, regardless of our circumstances.

You can be content being single and still desire to be married.

You can be content in your job and still desire another one.

You can be content with a newborn and still desire to sleep more.

You can be content in whatever season you are in and still desire for something to be different.

Your longing for more is a good, eternal desire. Those desires move us to lean on the strength that comes from Christ. Who gives us everything we need to live fully right in the middle of our wanting today.

Meghan Ryan is an author and hype girl for people getting out of their comfort zones so they don’t miss the best part of life. A Florida beach girl born and raised, she currently lives in Nashville, TN and works as the Promotional Copy Writer for Proverbs 31 Ministries. Her passion is for helping people find and live out their God-given callings. She’s worked in ministry on college campuses and internationally. When she’s not surrounded by friends, you can usually find her reading a book, doing something outdoors or teaching a Pure Barre class. Her first book releases in 2024 and you can connect with her on Instagram @meghanmryan and at alwaysmeghan.com.

You Are Not Behind

You Are Not Behind

If You Feel Behind, Read This…

It was a typical Tuesday-night get-together with three of my closest friends. Every week, we meet to we catch up on our weeks and sometimes vent about work. Sometimes there’s a lot to share. Other times we talk about a passage of Scripture or a book we are reading together. It’s one of my favorite times of the week. However, a lot had changed in the last few weeks since we had to the chance to all be together. One friend had a baby, and another got married; the third friend was sharing about an exciting new job opportunity.

While I held my friend’s baby, in a beautiful new home she owned, and listened to all the news I was genuinely so thrilled to hear, I felt myself start to panic. 

I had nothing new to share.

Not one thing. Nothing noteworthy happened in the weeks since we had all seen each other. I didn’t even have the prospect of a husband, baby or promotion coming. All I could think about was the milestone 30th birthday that was fast approaching and how we were all going to start a new decade of our lives in very. different. places.

The lie looped on repeat in my head: I’m behind.

It was paralyzing because I couldn’t fix it. It was just my reality. We were physically sitting in the same room, but I couldn’t feel any further away from them than I did in that moment. More than feeling behind; I worried I was going to get left behind.

From that moment on, I’d never “catch up” to where they were. And that made me feel both sad, and scared. Sad, because they all were living things I desperately wanted and was unsure if I would ever get. Scared, because if they kept moving forward, would they leave me behind? 

Do you ever feel like I do, like everyone is moving on without you? Like everyone is graduating to a new phase of life, and you’re stuck where you are? Whether it’s watching another friend get married or have a baby, or finding out someone you know is buying a home, it’s easy to look around and wonder: Did I miss something?

In those moments, I often question myself. Was I not in the right city or at the right job? Did I miss what God was calling me to do? Why does it seem like things are happening for everyone else but me?

What do we do with those questions? We spend so much time looking at what everyone else has or is doing.

And I’m afraid we are missing out on the best parts of life because we are stuck wishing for someone else’s.

But what if there’s a better way to live? A way to stop feeling behind and like we are striving to catch up?

What if we learned to love the places we live without wishing for something bigger, better or that we were somewhere else?

What if we embraced the things we are good at, do for work and for fun instead of looking at what everyone online is doing?

What if we built real, authentic community with the people in front of us instead of feeling left out?

What if we found confidence in the race God marked for us instead of trying to chase another one?

It’s possible. More than that, I think it’s urgent. Because the enemy would love nothing more than to slow you down, sideline you or make you want to quit. But you have a part to play in building the kingdom of God, and it’s really hard to do that if you’re distracted by feeling behind.

Psalm 27:13 tells us where we can place our confidence when we feel behind: “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.”

When I reflect on this verse, I know those questions I ask myself aren’t true. I can see glimpses of the goodness of God right now. I can see some of the ways He has been working out the details of my life along the way. And when I pause to reflect on this, I remember life is not about getting to the next destination or graduating to another life phase; it’s about being faithful with what’s in front of you and around you right now. (Hebrews 11:13)

If you’re feeling “behind” today, here are four ways I’ve found encouragement to combat those lies:

  1. Pray with honesty. We can still be honest about what we long for even when we learn to enjoy what we have now. Prayer has the power to change things, so don’t stop asking and believing for God to move. (1 Peter 5:7) 
  2. Put down social media. When we stop looking at what everyone else has or what they are doing, we are better able to love the life that’s right in front of us. (James 3:16) 
  3. Practice gratitude. Slowing down long enough to appreciate the gifts God has already given makes us feel less like we are missing out on something. (1 Thessalonians 5:18) 
  4. Change your perspective. There are things in my life today that I used to pray for, and that perspective changes how I live. There are also things in my life that other people are praying for. (Hebrews 12:2)

These things won’t help you get ahead or crack the code to getting what you want, but they can help you learn to love the life God has placed you in. 

There are still many days when I’m frustrated by things that haven’t changed in my life. But when we look back and see evidence of God’s faithfulness then, we can have confidence He is still being faithful now.

The next time you experience the fear of being behind, remember: You are not behind.

God is writing a story that is unique to YOU. It may not be the story you want, and it may not be in the timing you want, but He is not leaving you behind. Over and over, the Bible shows us He has not forgotten us. Like Romans 8:28 says, whatever He is working out behind the scenes is for your good and His glory.

We can surrender our plans and put our trust in His capable hands. He is not going to leave us where we are, but rather, take us to where He wants us to be.

Meghan Ryan is an author and hype girl for people getting out of their comfort zones so they don’t miss the best part of life. A Florida beach girl born and raised, she currently lives in Charlotte, NC and works as the Promotional Copy Writer for Proverbs 31 Ministries. Her passion is for helping people find and live out their God-given callings. She’s worked in ministry on college campuses and internationally. When she’s not surrounded by friends, you can usually find her reading a book, doing something outdoors or teaching a Pure Barre class. Her first book releases in 2024 and you can connect with her on Instagram @meghanmryan and at alwaysmeghan.com.

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