When Healing Hasn’t Come Yet
Hi friends,
At the Live Original Conference this year, Jackie Hill Perry taught on the story of Hannah. I remember sitting there listening and realizing how differently a familiar passage can feel depending on the season you are in.
I had read Hannah’s story before, though I would not say it was a passage I returned to often. Something about the way Jackie walked through it made me slow down and really pay attention. I left the conference thinking about Hannah’s prayers and the way she kept bringing her heart to the Lord with honesty.And in some ways, it felt like my own story.
Over the past few years, I have been struggling with some health challenges that can drastically, at times, affect my day to day. Some days feel manageable. Other days require more patience than I expected. I have had to learn how to move through my days with a different awareness of my limits, which is something I never really had to think about before.
One of the strange parts of walking through a health challenge like this is how invisible it can be.
From the outside things can look fairly normal. I can show up to things, spend time with people I love, and participate in the work God has called me to. At the same time, my body can feel like it is carrying something constantly in the background. It is present in the small decisions of the day. How much energy something will take. Whether I need to slow down. Whether I should push through or rest.
Through this confusing journey of trying to seek out answers and both praying for and pursuing healing so faithfully, I keep returning to Jackie’s message on the story of Hannah. First Samuel gives us a detailed picture of her life. Hannah was married to Elkanah, who also had another wife named Peninnah. The text tells us that Peninnah had children, but Hannah did not.
Each year their family traveled to Shiloh to worship and offer sacrifices to the Lord. Though Elkanah loved Hannah and showed extra care toward in the middle of her pain of being barren, Scripture says Peninnah would provoke her severely in order to irritate her because the Lord had closed Hannah’s womb.
The passage says this happened year after year.
When they went to the house of the Lord, the grief followed her there. First Samuel 1:7 tells us that Hannah wept and would not eat. Her pain affected even something as basic as sitting down to take a meal.
Eventually Hannah rose and went to pray.
Scripture says she stood before the Lord in deep anguish, praying and weeping bitterly. She spoke honestly about the longing of her heart. As she prayed her lips moved but no sound came out. Eli the priest watched her and assumed she was drunk.
Hannah answered him and said she was not drunk, but was a woman deeply troubled, and that she had been pouring out her soul before the Lord.
That phrase in particular really stood out to me.
She poured out her soul.
She did not filter her emotions before coming to God. She brought the full weight of her grief into His presence. After hearing her, Eli told her to go in peace and said that the God of Israel would grant her request.
So First Samuel 1:18 says, “Then she went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad.”
The crazy thing is, her circumstances had not changed yet.
She still carried the same unanswered prayer when she walked out of the temple. And as readers, we also carry the confusion of knowing that God closed her womb. And the scripture does not say why. But for Hannah, despite nothing changing about her circumstances, something shifted inside her because she had been with the Lord. That story of Hannah reflects something I have been learning slowly in my own life.
Many of my prayers in this season have centered around healing. Scripture speaks clearly about the character of God as healer. In Exodus 15:26 the Lord introduces Himself to Israel with these words: “I am the Lord who heals you.”
He spoke those words after the Israelites had crossed the Red Sea and watched God rescue them from Egypt. Their response was worship. Moses and Miriam led the people in songs praising the Lord for His deliverance. After that moment God revealed something about His character.
He told them that He is their healer.
The life of Jesus continues that revelation. The gospels repeatedly show people bringing sickness and suffering to Him. Matthew writes that Jesus went throughout Galilee teaching in synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people.
Because of that, I continue to pray for healing.
At the same time, I recognize the tension many believers experience when they face sickness. We live between what God has promised and what we have not yet fully seen. The kingdom of God has already broken into the world through Jesus. Yet we still live in a world where brokenness has not been completely removed.
Recently I listened to a sermon that helped me think about this in a clearer way. The pastor spoke about the difference between seeking healing and knowing Jesus as the Healer. Healing reflects the compassion and power of God. When we read the gospels, we see people come to Jesus with real needs. Blindness, sickness, weakness, suffering, barrenness. Jesus responds with compassion. He heals in many different ways. Sometimes He speaks a word. Sometimes He touches someone. Sometimes someone simply reaches out and touches Him. The method changes from story to story, yet the center remains the same.
Jesus is the source of life. And though the healing is miraculous, the greater gift we receive is Christ Himself.
And the reality is, this season has drawn me closer to the presence of Jesus in ways I did not expect. Slower mornings have created space for deeper prayer. Friends gathering around me to pray reminds me how the body of Christ is meant to carry burdens together.
One passage I return to often is Psalm 103:
“Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me, bless his holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast mercy,
Who satisfies you with good
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
When I read Psalm 103, I notice the way David speaks directly to his own soul. He reminds himself of what is true about God. He does not wait for his circumstances to tell him what to believe.
That practice has really rooted me. Because sickness has a way of narrowing your focus and pulling your attention toward what is wrong. Your body reminds you of it. Your thoughts can circle around it. And you wonder when things will change.
Yet Scripture gently widens that view again and consistently calls our attention back to who God is.
Hannah’s story has helped me see that clearly. She walked into the temple overwhelmed by grief. She prayed with such intensity that Eli thought something was wrong. Yet after she poured out her soul before the Lord, something settled in her. She was able to eat again. Her face was no longer downcast.
Her circumstances had not changed yet.
Yet, peace entered her life before the answer arrived.
I think many believers who walk through sickness eventually find themselves living in that same space.
The promise is real. Scripture reveals a God who heals, restores, and redeems. The life of Jesus shows the compassion of God toward human suffering. At the same time, we still live in a world where brokenness has not fully disappeared yet, and some prayers take longer than we expect.
That does not mean faith has failed. Actually, I believe faith often grows right in the middle of that tension – the tension that runs through much of the New Testament. The kingdom of God has already broken into the world through Jesus. Yet the fullness of that restoration is still ahead of us.
There are times where I question. There are times where I ask the Lord again why healing has not come yet. Scripture actually gives space for that kind of honesty. I think about John the Baptist often. Jesus described him as the greatest among those born of women. John recognized Jesus immediately when he saw Him and devoted his life to preparing the way for Him.
Later, while sitting in prison, John sent his disciples to ask Jesus a question.
“Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?”
That question came from a faithful man sitting in a difficult place. Even someone who had seen so clearly still wrestled when circumstances became painful and confusing.
That has been strangely comforting to me.
So I keep praying.
I keep asking the Lord to heal. I keep asking my friends to pray with me. I keep bringing my questions to God honestly instead of pretending they are not there.
And I continue to walk with Him while I wait.
For those of you who are walking through sickness, physical challenges, especially the kind that people cannot easily see, or even a waiting season, I hope you know you are not alone in that experience. It can feel isolating when something affects your life every day but does not always show up in obvious ways.
It can be discouraging to keep praying when answers take time.
Yet Scripture gives us example after example of people who kept bringing their hearts to the Lord. Hannah poured out her soul. John the Baptist asked honest questions. David spoke directly to his own soul and reminded himself of God’s character.
Many faithful people in Scripture carried long prayers before they saw answers.
Their faith did not disappear in those moments. If anything, their honesty showed how deeply they were engaging with God.
That gives me courage for my own prayers.
I will continue asking the Lord for healing. I will continue trusting His character. And I will continue believing that His presence is not distant while I wait.
The promise of God is steady.
And the Lord is near to us even in the middle of the story.
