by Carli Hammond | May 4, 2023 | Life Advice, Love
“Love yourself.” We’ve heard this line many times. We’ve read it on decorative signs at Home Goods. We’ve sung it in popular songs on the radio. It’s written in cursive fonts as we scroll through Instagram. Self-love has become a trend that has grabbed people’s attention by saying, “You do you,” and “We can create our own happiness and define our worth.” Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to love who we are and who God made us to be, but negative self-love has consumed this generation, blinding so many to the truth and beauty behind the word love. Love has been twisted and thrown around everywhere causing people to forget the depth and value of the word. Self-love has become an attractive trend that can negatively lead us in the direction of selfishness and pride because we live in a broken world with a broken definition of love.
But friends, the love that we need most isn’t love that we can give ourselves. The love we need most is love that we can only get from our Creator. The love we need is God.
“So, we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.”
1 John 4:16
God is love and God created us out of love. What a beautiful truth, too vast for us to comprehend. Love is from God. Love is God. Love is a mission sent by God. Love describes the very heart and the character of God. Not that love is all that God is, but everything that God does, in one way or another, expresses His love for us. His mercy, His grace, His wisdom, His comfort, His sacrifice. All these things and more are beautiful demonstrations of God’s perfect love.
It is natural for our hearts to long for love because we are beings created out of love, but where we are looking for the love that we desire can often be the root of our problems. The world is often looking for love in all the wrong places. We start digging into pampering self-care, self-love affirmation journals, Instagram comment validation, and treat-yourself meals, but we keep coming up empty and wondering why. We rely on our friends and significant others to validate us with their versions of love. But the truth is, nothing on this earth can fill the God-sized hole for love in our hearts. If we want to be loved, we need to be running after Jesus.
Maybe the reason that the world has such a misconstrued idea of love is that so many people in the world haven’t experienced what true love is. Let’s look at the day that defined love. The day that Jesus died. A day that proved love. A day that love Himself was hung on a cross.
“He saved others,” they said, “but he can’t save himself! He’s the king of Israel! Let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him.” (Matthew 27:42)
What is demonstrated in the death of Jesus is that love is sacrificial. Jesus knew this fully. He could’ve stepped down from the cross where He was hung, but He demonstrated to a world that so desperately needed to know what love truly is, His definition of it. Sacrificial love comes from the Greek term “agape,” which means to love someone with unselfish passion. “Agape” type of love was the love demonstrated on the cross. Our Father loved us with such an unselfish passion that He sent His one and only Son to be humiliated, mocked, beaten, and ultimately die for our sins. Our sins that didn’t deserve grace. Our lives that didn’t deserve saving. But through the Lord’s sacrificial love, the blood that was shed was done for each one of us that would step foot on this earth. Real love isn’t defined by our love for God but by His love for us as sinners.
After we truly grasp the agape love that was demonstrated on the cross, the love that this world tries to sell doesn’t compare to Christ’s love. Love is not cheap and easy. It’s not instant gratification. Love is not what you decide it to be and not all about you. Love is simply God, and this changes everything for us.
Love took on a whole new meaning when Jesus said, “It is finished” with His last breath. He is our provider and protector, our shepherd and father. He is the purest form of love—sacrificial love. God broke all definitions of love when He sent his son to die for our sins. God’s love isn’t self-centered. It’s not surface-level love. His love isn’t dependent on what we do, achieve, say, or pray. He loves us despite our flaws. He loves us despite our unworthiness. He loves us despite our pride. This world can define love in many ways, but the love it needs most is Jesus and nothing gets better than that.
When we experience God’s love for the first time or experience it again in a whole new way, our life is radically changed. Self-love will never transform us the way Godly love does. People are digging and digging in the world for worth, validation, and love when we should be digging into God’s word and pouring into a relationship with our Father who has all that we need. We can begin to love ourselves best by denying ourselves and picking up our cross to follow Jesus. After saying yes to Jesus, our whole life becomes about love. We are commanded to love because it is our foundation and our mission.
“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
(Matthew 22:36-40)
Who are we to love first? The Lord our God. But, Jesus doesn’t stop there. He says that the second commandment is just like it, meaning that they are deeply connected, and that is to love our neighbor as ourselves. Loving God means to love your neighbor, there’s no separating them. These are His commandments, not suggestions. The world will always suggest that we love ourselves first because we deserve it and are worthy, but the Bible commands that we love God and others first. What kind of love is this? Agape love.
“’This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.’”
(John 15:12-13)
There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends…wow. I don’t know about you but when I read that the greatest love is demonstrated through laying down my life for someone, I begin to step back in fear because this world convinces us that love is easy and comfortable. But it’s quite the opposite. We are called to deny ourselves to make room for loving others through sacrifice.
Sacrificial love is serving others’ needs rather than serving our own needs.
Sacrificial love pursues what God desires instead of just doing what makes us happy.
Worldly love gets in our way of walking in Godly love. So, let’s set aside our own definitions of love and fully bathe ourselves in the love that God is calling us to walk in and extend to others.
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”
(1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
Friends can love us. Parents can love us. We can love ourselves. But earthly love is not perfect and will fail us over and over because we are all sinners. The good news is, God is love, and He will never fail us and never fail to love us. His love never fails, it endures forever. It endures in the storms, in the valleys, in the messy times and it endures when we can’t love ourselves. When we walk with Jesus, love looks a lot different, and this couldn’t be a better promise. Be confident in who God made you to be and love the journey that He has you on, but don’t let prideful self-love and the world’s definitions of love stand in the way of fully loving God and others with radical agape love. Because when we deny ourselves, pick up our cross, and follow Jesus, we enter into the most perfect, beautiful, selfless love that initiates our response of love toward God’s creation and God himself.
You are so loved friends, never forget it!!
Hi friends I’m Carli! I am a Disney enthusiast who loves to dance and can’t say no to coffee. One of my biggest passions is encouraging people in their faith on social media so I would love to connect over on Instagram @beautyyandthebible!
by Carli Hammond | Mar 29, 2022 | Life Advice
What would happen if we surrendered our own plans for our life and let the true Author of life write our story?
Many of us have created Pinterest boards full of what we hope, dream, and long for in life. Our wedding is planned. Our kids have a cute wardrobe. Life looks Instagram worthy. We have our schedules written in cute planners. We have mapped out possible outcomes so we don’t have to fear the unknown. We have painted the picture of our lives all on our own.
But, what happens when God’s plans for our lives don’t align with what we have planned?
I have been a dancer ever since my mom put me in my first dance class at the age of 3. I fell in love with it. I loved being on a big stage, taking classes, and jamming to my favorite songs in my room. I never wanted to stop.
As a freshman in high school, I finally felt like I was stepping into this “dream” of being a dancer. I was teaching, competing, and improving in my skills.
Until my plan was put on hold.
After one injury that led to another, x-rays, and way too many doctors visits, I was diagnosed with severe bilateral hip dysplasia, a condition where the hip sockets are too shallow to cover and hold the hip joints in place. I sat there in the doctor’s office stunned. I was even more shocked when I was told that surgery was the only trustworthy solution. Surgery that took 6 months to recover from. Both hips. This meant a long road before getting back to dance again, let alone getting back to my normal life again.
This was far from my Pinterest board plans and far from the dreams I had for my life.
I was flooded with anger, confusion, doubt, and questions.
“Why me, God?”
“Why is God putting me in so much pain?”
“Why am I having to sit out on what I love most?”
“What about the dreams and plans that I had for my life”
“Why would God bless me with the gift of dance but then allow me to have injuries and surgeries that put me on the couch for years?”
“What about my plans, God?”
I’m sure many of us have been here before, sitting in doubt and fear, questioning whether God truly knew what He was doing, and wondering if His plans would really turn out better than ours.
Throughout this painful season of my life, I leaned into the Lord. I dug into His word because strength and comfort were only found in making God my refuge in this time of pain and struggle.
In the letter Jeremiah is writing to the exiles in Babylon, God encourages His people with the words—
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11
Where God leads us and what He calls us to–
won’t always be easy,
won’t always feel comfortable,
won’t always come natural,
won’t always align with our expectations.
But, the plans God has for our life are good and are for our good–God knows this full well. We can walk through life with this unexplainable hope in knowing that no matter what our circumstances look like, our whole life is in the good and secure hands of our Father, the Author of life.
We aren’t the only ones having to change our plans.
David was led to fighting a giant with small weapons.
Job was asked to let go of absolutely everything.
Moses was called to lead people out of Egypt even though the cost was high.
Esther took action amidst great tension and trouble.
I doubt these would have been clipped to their vision boards back then.
All these callings and plans for their life were far from easy, far from comfortable, and far from natural.
But, God showed up. God was magnified through it all. God equipped them with all that they needed and continued to walk right beside them.
He promises to do the same for you.
God won’t lead us to a place that He hasn’t already been and prepared. He won’t leave us to handle it on our own. The Lord is always near, no matter where He leads us to.
David, Job, Moses, Esther, and so many more had to surrender their own plans to follow the path that God was calling them to walk. They are evidence that beautiful things take place in the act of obedience to God’s callings. So, it’s time to lay our plans down at the feet of the Lord and ask Him to do what only He can do with our eager hearts.
Throughout the early parts of my recovery from my surgeries, I had many hard days. It was hard to say “yes” to the things God was showing me. I got easily upset and discouraged by where God had me in this season, but I had to learn to slow down, take time to heal, and focus on other things while I had to sit out of dance.
My circumstances never limited God. He wasn’t phased by the mountains I faced.
To me, surgery was a roadblock, but to God, it was an opportunity for refining, transforming, and growth. Each and every plan God has for our lives serves a purpose, whether we can see the purpose in the moment or whether it takes getting to the other side to finally see it.
When God formed our bodies, He was patient and intentional with every detail. As I went through the healing process after surgery, it felt as though God was once again renewing every nerve, every bone, every muscle, and teaching them to rely on His strength.
I learned a lot about patience. Patience in getting back to my normal body. Patience in getting back to dance. Patience in every up and every down. Patience in awaiting the beautiful things God had in store for me. Patience in finding peace in God’s plan, not mine.
There is peace in knowing that the same God that knows every precise detail of our bodies also knows the intentional plans for our lives.
“You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.”
Psalms 139:1-5
Psalms 139 is a favorite of mine, it especially took on a new meaning while I was healing from my surgeries. It’s so comforting to know that God knew each of us and the exact plan for our lives before He even created us.
The Lord is familiar with all of our ways. He doesn’t just have a plan for us, He knows the plan really well. So, the roadblocks in life are not a shock to God. My surgeries were not a surprise to Him and neither are the roadblocks that pop up in your life. One day your roadblocks will serve as a testimony of how God uses each and every plan in your life for a purpose.
Looking back on my journey, I am in awe of the ways God took my circumstances and produced so much good. Dance felt so out of reach for so long, but now I am fully back doing what I love most. I never thought it was a possibility, but God proved my doubts and fears wrong. That season of my life serves as my testimony that I have gotten to share with so many people, it provides an opportunity to encourage others going through the same thing, and it is evidence of God’s past faithfulness to give me hope for His future faithfulness.
So many ministry doors have opened in my life since going through my surgery season. One of them being how God called me to create a ministry account on Instagram, called @beautyyandthebible, to share encouragement and truth with the goal of being a light on social media during quarantine. God had a purpose for the waiting all along, I just couldn’t see it in the moment.
Without the challenging and refining season of life, I would not be properly equipped to step into the plans God has for me right now.
When you are feeling discouraged about what season you are in, what God has called you to, or what mountain you stand in front of, remember this–God equips where He calls, provides where He leads, and sustains what is meant for you. His plans for your life will always prevail, no matter how perfect our Pinterest boards look. His plans will always serve a purpose, even in the unknown. His plans are preparing you for great things. When we are obedient to surrender the control we grasp onto and let the Author of life write our story, beautiful things take place.
My name is Carli Hammond and I am a high school senior! Next year I plan on studying multimedia journalism and pursuing photography on the side. I have a passion for spreading truth and encouragement through social media and have used my Instagram account @beautyyandthebible to do just that. I also get the opportunity to serve on my church’s production team as a photographer, which I love to do. In my free time, I am always dancing, drinking coffee, reading, or cuddling with my adorable dogs!
