“Love yourself.” We’ve heard this line many times. We’ve read it on decorative signs at Home Goods. We’ve sung it in popular songs on the radio. It’s written in cursive fonts as we scroll through Instagram. Self-love has become a trend that has grabbed people’s attention by saying, “You do you,” and “We can create our own happiness and define our worth.” Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to love who we are and who God made us to be, but negative self-love has consumed this generation, blinding so many to the truth and beauty behind the word love. Love has been twisted and thrown around everywhere causing people to forget the depth and value of the word. Self-love has become an attractive trend that can negatively lead us in the direction of selfishness and pride because we live in a broken world with a broken definition of love.

But friends, the love that we need most isn’t love that we can give ourselves. The love we need most is love that we can only get from our Creator. The love we need is God.

“So, we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.”

1 John 4:16

God is love and God created us out of love. What a beautiful truth, too vast for us to comprehend. Love is from God. Love is God. Love is a mission sent by God. Love describes the very heart and the character of God. Not that love is all that God is, but everything that God does, in one way or another, expresses His love for us. His mercy, His grace, His wisdom, His comfort, His sacrifice. All these things and more are beautiful demonstrations of God’s perfect love.

It is natural for our hearts to long for love because we are beings created out of love, but where we are looking for the love that we desire can often be the root of our problems. The world is often looking for love in all the wrong places. We start digging into pampering self-care, self-love affirmation journals, Instagram comment validation, and treat-yourself meals, but we keep coming up empty and wondering why. We rely on our friends and significant others to validate us with their versions of love. But the truth is, nothing on this earth can fill the God-sized hole for love in our hearts. If we want to be loved, we need to be running after Jesus.

Maybe the reason that the world has such a misconstrued idea of love is that so many people in the world haven’t experienced what true love is. Let’s look at the day that defined love. The day that Jesus died. A day that proved love. A day that love Himself was hung on a cross.

“He saved others,” they said, “but he can’t save himself! He’s the king of Israel! Let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him.” (Matthew 27:42)

What is demonstrated in the death of Jesus is that love is sacrificial. Jesus knew this fully. He could’ve stepped down from the cross where He was hung, but He demonstrated to a world that so desperately needed to know what love truly is, His definition of it. Sacrificial love comes from the Greek term “agape,” which means to love someone with unselfish passion. “Agape” type of love was the love demonstrated on the cross. Our Father loved us with such an unselfish passion that He sent His one and only Son to be humiliated, mocked, beaten, and ultimately die for our sins. Our sins that didn’t deserve grace. Our lives that didn’t deserve saving. But through the Lord’s sacrificial love, the blood that was shed was done for each one of us that would step foot on this earth. Real love isn’t defined by our love for God but by His love for us as sinners.

After we truly grasp the agape love that was demonstrated on the cross, the love that this world tries to sell doesn’t compare to Christ’s love. Love is not cheap and easy. It’s not instant gratification. Love is not what you decide it to be and not all about you. Love is simply God, and this changes everything for us.

Love took on a whole new meaning when Jesus said, “It is finished” with His last breath. He is our provider and protector, our shepherd and father. He is the purest form of love—sacrificial love. God broke all definitions of love when He sent his son to die for our sins. God’s love isn’t self-centered. It’s not surface-level love. His love isn’t dependent on what we do, achieve, say, or pray. He loves us despite our flaws. He loves us despite our unworthiness. He loves us despite our pride. This world can define love in many ways, but the love it needs most is Jesus and nothing gets better than that.

When we experience God’s love for the first time or experience it again in a whole new way, our life is radically changed. Self-love will never transform us the way Godly love does. People are digging and digging in the world for worth, validation, and love when we should be digging into God’s word and pouring into a relationship with our Father who has all that we need. We can begin to love ourselves best by denying ourselves and picking up our cross to follow Jesus. After saying yes to Jesus, our whole life becomes about love. We are commanded to love because it is our foundation and our mission.

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

(Matthew 22:36-40)

Who are we to love first? The Lord our God. But, Jesus doesn’t stop there. He says that the second commandment is just like it, meaning that they are deeply connected, and that is to love our neighbor as ourselves. Loving God means to love your neighbor, there’s no separating them. These are His commandments, not suggestions. The world will always suggest that we love ourselves first because we deserve it and are worthy, but the Bible commands that we love God and others first. What kind of love is this? Agape love.

“’This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.’”

(John 15:12-13)

There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends…wow. I don’t know about you but when I read that the greatest love is demonstrated through laying down my life for someone, I begin to step back in fear because this world convinces us that love is easy and comfortable. But it’s quite the opposite. We are called to deny ourselves to make room for loving others through sacrifice.

Sacrificial love is serving others’ needs rather than serving our own needs.

Sacrificial love pursues what God desires instead of just doing what makes us happy.

Worldly love gets in our way of walking in Godly love. So, let’s set aside our own definitions of love and fully bathe ourselves in the love that God is calling us to walk in and extend to others.

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

(1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

Friends can love us. Parents can love us. We can love ourselves. But earthly love is not perfect and will fail us over and over because we are all sinners. The good news is, God is love, and He will never fail us and never fail to love us. His love never fails, it endures forever. It endures in the storms, in the valleys, in the messy times and it endures when we can’t love ourselves. When we walk with Jesus, love looks a lot different, and this couldn’t be a better promise. Be confident in who God made you to be and love the journey that He has you on, but don’t let prideful self-love and the world’s definitions of love stand in the way of fully loving God and others with radical agape love. Because when we deny ourselves, pick up our cross, and follow Jesus, we enter into the most perfect, beautiful, selfless love that initiates our response of love toward God’s creation and God himself.

You are so loved friends, never forget it!!

Hi friends I’m Carli! I am a Disney enthusiast who loves to dance and can’t say no to coffee. One of my biggest passions is encouraging people in their faith on social media so I would love to connect over on Instagram @beautyyandthebible!