The other day, our team was sitting around marveling at all that God has taught us in relationships over the years. All of a sudden, it dawned on us that each one of us is in a different season regarding our relationships. From there, the idea of this blog post was born.
Let me explain: Stephy is our single gal (all the single ladies put your hands up!). Sadie is loving life with her boyfriend, Christian. Court is right in the middle of an engagement season with her fiancé, Taylor, and will be getting married in TWO short months! Lastly, Morgan married her husband, Ryan, just ONE short year ago.
All different seasons and experiences, yet on the SAME path to have a healthy relationship with God, ourselves, and our people.
We have collected questions that YOU have asked regarding relationships and have done our best to answer the top themes!
The hope is that you will relate to one or more of our experiences as you look at the season of life you are in and that it would bring you peace, hope, and clarity to know that God is holding you right where you are, whether that is single dating, engaged, or married.
Now let’s dive in!
1. Is there any way to know when you are ready to date? (Sadie)
This answer is coming from a humble place, because had I known this when I was 16, I would have saved people and myself from a lot of heartache. Looking back, I am truly sad to say that out of my brokenness, I would get into relationships because I “needed” something. Of course, at the time, I didn’t realize my impure motives. I never intentionally thought, going into a relationship, that I was trying to “get something” out of anyone, but I can see now that I was searching for something. I needed self-confidence, reassurance, affirmation, healing, someone to make me feel less lonely, someone to redeem the past. I went into every relationship needing something that only Jesus could give me. When it ended it left me feeling emptier than when I started. I think you are ready to date when you find contentment in Christ and don’t actually “need anything from anyone.” You have to realize that they cannot and will not give you what only Jesus can give you.
2. How do you know when it is the right relationship? (Morgan)
There have been times in my life (pre-marriage and pre-Ryan), that I wanted a relationship so badly that I settled, manipulated, and justified being with the wrong guys. After all, I believed the lie that “a guy is better than NO guy.”
THIS IS NOT TRUE! In those past relationships, I knew they didn’t make me better. It wasn’t until I met Ryan that I saw and experienced the blessings of being with the “right” man.
Disclaimer: When I say the “right” man, I am referring to the “right kind” of man. Stop living in fear that you’re not going to find the one, leaving you indefinitely single with a million cats and TV dinners every night. Look for the “one” who has the qualities of Jesus.
Here are the qualities to look for to know if you are in the right kind of relationship:
- Does he spend time with Jesus? Spending genuine time with Jesus will subsequently make you more like Jesus.
- Is he bearing good fruit? You will know someone’s relationship with Jesus by their fruit. Aka, how do they love people?
- Are you the one that fights for physical boundaries in the relationship or does he lead out in that way? This is so important because if someone respects you physically, it means they are seeing you through a Godly lens. It also means that they are marriage minded, trusting that God will provide those things when the time comes.
Lastly, are you being the type of woman that will attract a godly man and bring out the best in him? This is the key to preparing yourself for the right one.
“Seek first his kingdom and all these things will be added.” Matthew 6:33
If you read one of those qualities and know that your relationship isn’t a reflection of this, it’s time to be real with yourself and ask if this is the right relationship for you. Again, trust that God has the best for you as his daughter and you don’t need to settle for the wrong guy!
3. How can I be content without a relationship? (Steph)
I’ll be honest, this has not been easy for me at times. If you are reading this as a single person, I’d imagine it hasn’t been easy for you at times too.
Being content without a relationship is certainly a challenge! I’ve longed to be a wife and mom since I was a little girl – but my life has not played out in that way. At times, I have felt discontentment creep in and set up camp in my heart!
In these times, I have to remind myself that even if “Mr. Wonderful” came along tomorrow, that person would never fulfill the longing in my heart for TRUE contentment. Lasting joy and true fulfillment is found in knowing the love that only Jesus offers. Whether you’re looking for your husband, the right job, more money, “fill in the blank”, we (I) need to remember to always center our heart back to Jesus and treasure Him above all things.
I love Paul’s words in Phil 4:11-13 where he shares that He has discovered the “secret to being content”! The secret is knowing and treasuring Jesus as the greatest source of love and satisfaction!
I don’t want to diminish the reality that singleness is hard and it’s okay to admit it. I have a circle of close friends and there have been (many) times where I have cried to them, asked them to pray for me, and have gotten honest about the reality that singleness is at times, painful. Marriage is a Godly gift worth desiring and I believe God knows the pain this unfulfilled longing brings my heart some days. I do believe it is possible to feel that sadness yet still rejoice in knowing that we have already been made complete in Christ.
4. How do you know when it is the right relationship? (Court)
I used to get so frustrated when someone says, ‘when you know… you know.’ I’m like, but how will I actually know this is the right relationship for me? So, I started praying for God to show me WHAT the right relationship looked like. This was a game changer. Before I met the right person, God began to strip away some of my old “ideas” of the perfect guy and replacing them with the characteristics and elements that I needed to compliment me and help me be the best person He created me to be. Friends, I’m sitting here on the other side, engaged, and about to step into marriage. I can confidently say to you… you will know in your spirit and heart.
The moment I started dating Taylor (my fiancé) I felt and experienced these things…
I felt God’s overwhelming peace.
I felt so known.
I felt completely understood.
I felt so cared for.
My family adored him.
I felt challenged to live up to who God made me to be
I felt free to be 100 percent me. That I was enough.
I felt like I gained a teammate to run the race God set before us.
Before I met Taylor, I had never experienced anything like this. In the right relationship, there is no room for insecurity or fear. Of course, there have been moments where we challenged each other or had tough convos, but overall, God’s peace has reigned in our hearts. That’s how I knew he was right for me. And, today, the thing that most definitely binds us together is our faith and our commitment to never stop praying for each other and together. Let God be your #1 always.
5. What does it mean to be “equally yoked”? (Morgan)
For the longest time, when I heard this phrase growing up, I always thought for some reason the phrase was referring to two people whose eggs were equally cooked (equally “yolked”, haha).
It was only in the past few years that I learned the origin of the phrase and the significance of being yoked together with my husband.
The phrase comes from 2 Corinthians 6:14, which says: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
Paul, the writer of this letter, used the term “equally yoked” as an analogy that the culture of the time could understand. A “yoke” is a wooden instrument used to bind two oxen together so that they are able to evenly distribute the weight of the goods they are carrying. When one of the oxen cannot carry the same amount of weight, the pair is “unequally yoked” and cannot effectively complete the work required of them.
So when God tells us we need to be equal in our yoke (which here, our yoke is our faith), it is not to punish us, but to provide for us the partner that can allow us to flourish and fall more in love with Jesus through prayer, belief, and healthy partnership.
It is wise that you take caution and not fall in love with someone who is not chasing after Jesus like you are, for this will truly cause your heart pain and furthermore, cause separation from God.
6. Should you date someone who doesn’t share the same faith as you? (Court)
This is a tough one. The simple answer is no. I’ll share my story with the hope of giving more grace and understanding.
In college, I started dating this guy. He was sweet, kind, fun-loving and I knew he came from a “good family.” Meaning I knew that his family went to some type of church. I remember feeling so excited that I found a guy that kind of goes to church because most of the others I met could care less about what they believed. Most guys cared more about drinking and sleeping around vs. going to church on Sunday.
And, to be honest, my faith was questionable in college too. I knew truth, I knew Jesus, and I knew in my heart that He loved me. However, I was distracted by the college scene and my boyfriend. Can any of you relate?
It’s hard to date someone when you don’t even know where you stand in your own faith. So, for those reading, or in college, who don’t know what they believe or why they believe it, I encourage you to start there before you pursue dating.
Continuing on the story. I’ll spare you the details. Three years into dating this guy, I was still asking, “Is this the right guy?” While I was home from school that summer, Jesus totally captured my heart. I came back to school, feeling refreshed, convicted and hopeful that my boyfriend would join me in this new journey!
But we were on completely different pages. He was “supportive” and would come to church with me. But he was not “excited” to step into his faith. He was not willing to have tough conversations, and every time we did, he looked at me blankly like I was a different person (which I was… how cool is God?!). I prayed and believed that God would change his heart and He would use me to do that.
So, I continued in the relationship for a long time after, hoping that I could shine a light on who God is and why I believe. Maybe some of you are currently in relationships where you are trying to lead and love your person closer towards Jesus. That was me. Almost a year later, I finally knew that He was not right for me. I made every effort. I prayed for God to stir his heart. I prayed for God to confirm and deny whether I should continue dating him. God answered so clearly. So guess what? I broke up with him graciously and started spending my time in places with people who believed what I did and were just as passionate, if not more, about God.
Your faith is one of the greatest connections you can possibly have in dating and engagement. Hold tightly. It matters.
7. How do you know when it is the right relationship? (Sadie)
First off, I want to touch on how you can know you’re in a WRONG relationship. One good clue is to look at who you have become since dating that person. If you have lost your personality, your peace, your joy, your confidence, your purity and the desires inside of you, then it’s probably time to lose the relationship and find yourself again in Christ. The wrong relationship will produce the wrong fruit. If you have to change who you are, it’s not the right relationship.
The right relationship will produce the right fruit in you and through you. It will bless you, not take from you. Ask yourself questions like: “Since the beginning of this relationship, have I seen the fruit of Jesus in my life?” No one is going to be perfect, so don’t look for perfect, but you can be and should be HEALTHY!
The other thing is when you realize the one you are dating is really “the one”, it won’t be some magical moment with bells ringing and pixie dust falling from the sky and seven shooting stars flashing across the sky like a July 4thcelebration. You won’t get a “sign” written by the universe that he is the one. I think so many times we get caught up in looking for a sign. The looking causing us to miss the actual magic of how God brings two people together. How he creates one to complete the other. Stop looking for crazy signs around you and look in front of you. That way you can see that what you prayed for is standing right there. Look inside of you and realize who you have become by the power and blessing of partnering with who God has created.
8. What advice would you give to someone who’s never been in a relationship? (Steph)
Don’t sweat it and don’t allow your “lack of experience” to keep you from moving forward in a relationship in the future when the time is right! From one sister to another, there is nothing wrong with you if you haven’t been in a relationship – no matter what age you are. In your waiting, I encourage you to check in with yourself and make sure fear & insecurities are not creeping in and preventing you from meeting people! If so, ask the Lord to help you overcome these areas of your life and to prepare yourself for when the right person does come along!
We hope you’ve at least taken away one thing from these answers and it brings you peace in the season of relationship you’re in! Thanks for being people to ask such important questions!
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I just got out of a relationship and what Sadie said about it being a bad relationship really cleared things up for me and helped me so much. I feel so much better she spoke right to me, I did change for him, doing terrible sinful things I wouldn’t have ever dreamed of doing. I know it was the wrong relationship (even before reading this) for me because we weren’t equally yoked also! I love this blog post! I could relate to so much and learned so much! Thank y’all!!!
Thank you girls for speaking truth into my life & others lives as well!! I am 16, and have always battled with the desire to be a wife & a mom. But first, to be in a relationship. That desire turned into some impure actions when I was just in 8th grade when I got into a relationship with a boy, (my first boyfriend) & I was trying to “fix” him. I’ve come a long way, but it always is hopeful & encouraging to hear some wise God-fearing women reaffirm that the waiting is not to be wasted!!!
Wow. Thank you for this. We need more strong, Jesus-loving women like you to continue to share about relationships in the church. Dating gets weird!! But thank you for making it simple and pointing us back to the reason why we are in relationships, to glorify Jesus in everything. This was so encouraging.
Thank You for this. I recently met a guy. He’s catholic but is curious about the protestant faith, so i brought him to a church I’m going. At first i didnt think much of him because I felt so so convicted at the age of 16 to have a boyfriend that loves God so we can pursue God together, and I knew being with Him wouldn’t be like that. Since he’s still not as deep into the faith as I already am. But these past few days I feel like I’ve relented a little because we have so so so much in common. We can talk up to 4 hours a day non stop. And it wasnt even forced conversation. It honestlt felt like he was the one. But as I was praying just 5 minutes ago, I opened my instagram and saw Sadie’s post. It’s heartbreaking to know he’s not a part of God’s plan for my life, but God knows best.
Please get back to be if you have any advice at all.
Thank you.
Yen,
It may feel hard now but if you already have doubts about the relationship he is not the one. Wait on Gods perfect timing and trust him to bring you even better than you could ever imagine. A man to lead you more towards Him.
It’s so crazy you posted this today. I’ve been struggling ever since meeting this guy (it was pretty hallmark movie-esque) and I totally fell for him. It didn’t work out but I struggle with the idea I’ll never feel like that about someone else! It’s been 3 years now so it’s getting annoying! This was encouraging and just the uplifting words I needed today. Thank you!!
This was awesome thanks guys ????
4 years ago I dated a guy who was so sweet, kind, fun, caring, And my family loved him! But he was Not a Christian. I kept thinking maybe one day God will use me to speak to him, and he will become saved. About 4 months went by and I didn’t see any progress, as he was so against even the thought of God or church. After giving it lots of thought I decided to leave him. It was so hard and I still think about it at times, but I am SO thankful I left.. I now am engaged to an amazing guy who loves the Lord and loves helping people.
My advise to other women is always, “Don’t ever settle for less than what you know is best for you. God will always give you what you need if you trust in his will! And when you look back you will be so thankful you did”.
Thanks so much for the good read ladies. Lots of good insightful thoughts from all walks of life. God bless you all and keep the positive word flowing!
Just shared with my friends! I loved and needed to read this! As someone who last year broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years who was getting ready to propose because I wanted the life that God choose for me to live in serving him at my best (which I was limited in doing in that relationship), I have wanted to share my story and learn more about what it means to be the woman of God I need to be and what it looks like for two people to come together, complimenting each other in their ministry as they serve the Lord! I love reading and listening to Sadie. Keep allowing the Lord to use each of you and speaking up about your experiences and seasons, woman need to hear them!❤️
Question #6 (Court)
I am so thankful that you shared your story on this. I also dated a guy for over 3 years and I was not seeking God as I should have been until about 6 month ago. When I began talking to him about it and trying to pour the love of Christ into him and how we should transform/build our relationship he would have no comment, my story ends the exact way yours had to. After TONS of prayer (6 months of diligently praying for his heart to soften and that he would be receptive to God’s love and light) I had heavy conviction on my heart that he was not the one and I had to break up with him. It was the hardest things I have been through and one of the toughest acts of obedience in Christ that I have fulfilled. BUT I do see the bright side and know that I am so much more intentional with Jesus and my faith in him than I ever have been. Some times we just have to go through the hard things so we can experience God’s grace and strength to pull us back to where he needs us to be. —My break up is fresh, it’s only been about a month. But I feel an overwhelming peace that my God is holding me. It is so nice to hear other story’s similar to mine. Thank you. ❤️
So I’m literally only 14 ? and I have complete faith in the man God will bring into my life. But in an area it’s mentioned, “it’s probably time to lose the relationship,” by Sadie, and I understand it’s in the context of a romantic relationship, but what about a friendship? If some of these same examples follow behind that friendship, should you leave it? And what if (like the one I’m in) that person really needs a friend and someone to point them to Christ? I’m strong in my faith and know where I stand, but sometimes when I’m with these people or talking to them God leaves the complete picture and I feel distant. I hate the feeling but I hate the idea of missing an opportunity to plant a “seed” in the hearts I care for. Does this rule follow under friends, too?
Hi I would just like to say this is an excellent question & I’d love to know the answer to this too!!
Hey! I’m 14 too, and live in Canada which has significantly less Christian culture than the US. I’ve also got friends who I feel drag me down sometimes, and keep me from growing and maturing in Christ, and I have a lack of friends who are on the same journey to become true Christians. Just like you, I’m torn because I know they are not good for me, and can even cause setbacks some times in my faith, but I also feel it’s my duty to try and bring them to the faith. So I have the same question. Overall though, I don’t really have any friends that are on the same page as me faith-wise, which makes it so hard for me at times. But anyways, just wanted to let you know you’re not alone!
Hey! I tried to reply to your comment earlier, and it somehow self deleted so I’m not sure how that happened. I’m also 14 and I live in Canada, which has significantly less Christian culture than in the US. I totally relate to what you’re saying. I have friends that I know aren’t good for me and my walk in Christ, yet I don’t want to miss the opportunity to bring them to the faith. I have basically no friends who are on the same page as me faith-wise which makes it so so hard sometimes. I have literally the same problem as you. Just wanted to let you know you’re not alone, and I would appreciate an answer to this question too!
Hi Rebecca. So, like the girls said in their post, in 2 Corinthians 6:14 it says “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.” I am 16 and have been in a similar situation to you with regards to having unbelieving friends and i understand the dilemma you have. I want to encourage you to pray for these friends of yours; you will never believe the power prayer has. I think you can still be friends with them, but not best friends, because your closest circle of friends are the ones that have the most influence on you and these should always be Christian friends. So i encourage you to be there for these non-believing friends, but you need not keep them too close or let them influence you. Your relationship with the Lord is more important and although we are called to make His name known to all nations, it is not your job to save everybody. Maybe you’re not the one God intends to help change their lives and it is important to remember that. So as i said earlier the best thing you can do is pray for them and be there for them if they ask questions. Show them the love of Christ, but it is essential that your closest friends are Christians.
I don’t think that a friendship would have to fall under the same level of strictness as a romantic relationship, because when you’re dating someone, you’re basically determining whether you could potentially spend the rest of your life with them. The kids you hang out with probably won’t be your friends forever. This is kind of hard to see when you’re still in that stage, but trust me — I just graduated high school last year, and I have already drifted away from friendships that lasted from elementary school and throughout all of high school. But if I’m being completely honest, I don’t miss those friends. We’re still on good terms, but we just aren’t as close as we once were; some of them I almost never talk with anymore. And even when we were closer, I didn’t feel like I could share a whole lot with them. They weren’t Christians, and as a result, we didn’t have a lot of the same values or views in terms of dating, political issues, and even simple things like what kind of clothes to wear or music to listen to. I didn’t understand a lot of their jokes, and they never really wanted to hear about my spiritual life. My advice for you is this: if you feel as if these people are your friends, even if there is some distance, don’t deliberately throw that friendship away. If it isn’t meant to be, God will make things happen in due time, and likely no one will be hurt. Plus, you never know what kind of influence you may have over them. Just keep loving on them and showing them God’s character through you. But know this: they are not the best friends you will ever have. God has so much planned for each of us. I had a casual friend from church that I went to school with but didn’t talk much with, and when she moved for university, I didn’t think about her much. But this summer, we both started working at the same place, and we have become AMAZING friends. Her faith is strong, and she has encouraged me so much as a Christian.
Bottom line is this: unless they are hurting you as a Christian, you don’t need to get rid of those friendships; but remember that it is such a blessing to find a person who actually encourages you in your faith. ?
Wow! This was so needed and helpful. So glad I read this!!! Thank you
I would say pray about all things including this friendship and if you feel that this friend is not the best spiritually and brings you down, have boundaries where you can still be there for them in time of need but not letting your influence you negatively or lead you astray. Pray for wisdom and remember you need godly friends and encouragement too:)
Thank you so much for this! I’ve recently just got into a relationship and this all helped me so so much!!! I love everything about it, and this has really made me need to look more at myself and see if I’m following God’s plan for me!!
Wow! This was definitely a heart check in so many areas! I am so glad I came across this and read it! God definitely moved my heart and mind! Thank you!
This post is everything I’ve been needing to hear. Thank you ladies and the support team. Super excited to read the other blogs. God bless you ladies.
This was awesome, what I needed to hear!!! Thank you guys, your great.
I loved reading these you all made so very good pints I am currently in a relationship so y’all have some good advice to go off of.
Love this! And you guys! I lead a girls study and sent this link to all them and they all are talking about it! ❤️Thank you
This single, dating, engaged, married vlog has brought a lot of clarity to me that God has been speaking over me however I have had a difficult time wanting to listen to His voice. Thank you for using your experiences to help people like me who are going through these different phases, through you God provided me with clarity I needed.
This was so encouraging… everything that was said I can totally relate to and it has just encouraged me to focus and keep the Lord first and let God lead me to the one person He has for me. So thank you!!
I am really confused with — “It is wise that you take caution and not fall in love with someone who is not chasing after Jesus like you are, for this will truly cause your heart pain and furthermore, cause separation from God.” – Morgan. If that is true, that would mean that we cannot date or marry someone from a different religious upbringing. This cuts out a seriously large percent of the population, especially coming from a diverse city like New York. Maybe they do not know Jesus yet, but if we just blindly set up a barrier to these non-Jesus chasing men, then we may be missing out on some wonderfully kind, compassionate, & godly men solely based on their religion. I say it is better to look for the qualities of godly men and not just rule them out based on their knowledge of the lord because it may not be their fault if they didn’t grow up in a Christian household. We can’t write those men off.
Thank you!! This was sooo good! I’ve been in a healthy & Godly relationship (praise JESUS) for almost 3 years now (but in no way are we perfect). Although I’m not trying to say that you can change a person or that dating a non-Christian is good for everyone, I just wanted to share my/our success story in the area.
Before I started dating my now boyfriend – Trey – he was an atheist, but willing to look into Christianity. He pursued my heart purely for a year, and being a Christian, I kept saying no, but something always pulled me back to the idea of dating him. Finally my parents encouraged me to give him a shot, so we went out on a date.
Almost a year later, and multiple Jesus-convos with my parents and grandfather (who is a pastor) and church experiences later, Trey went to church by himself (on Easter – ironically beautiful!) That day he came back saying he gave himself to the Lord. Not for me. Not to please my parents. But because he wanted the passion and enternal life that Jesus offers. I was so excited!!
3 years down the road and Trey is ON FIRE FOR JESUS!!! He is the one encouraging me to do Bible studies and leading in such a Godly way. My heart EXPLODES when I think of the idea that God used me to welcome someone into the Kingdom of Heaven. And that man may even be my husband some day!!
Thank you so so much for sharing! I’ve been dating a guy for almost 5 years now. We’ve had our ups and downs and always have attended church together but lately I’ve been questioning things in the relationship and this post has opened my eyes to the fact that this may not be Gods will for me. I have a feeling I need to find myself again but I’m afraid of letting him go.. prayers for clarity and courage would be very accepted ??❤️
Thank you for this blog!!! I genuinely needed to hear these words and it means a lot that they came from such strong, Godly women. I have been single for 3.5 years (and counting) and it has been SO hard, especially as i watch my friends get into serious relationships and start to get engaged and married. For the last few years i haven’t been in a serious relationship but going through a cycle with the same toxic, impure, selfish men over and over who just want to use me. I can’t seem get out it because as awful as it sounds, i just want to be wanted and can’t let go of that. Ive been praying about it, and earlier this year i thought i met “the one”. I only got to spend less than one day with him but he seemed perfect…and he went to church with me. Its been a few mobths since then and he lives across the country from me so we haven’t really been in contact. I know the situation with that guy is in God’s hand now, but its just so hard to meet a good person like that then have to leave it up to faith. If you could give me any advice about my situation i would appreciate it so much!! Thanks!!
Thank you for sharing ladies! I’m 24 and I have never been in a relationship. It has been really hard this past year wishing God would bring the man I’m to marry into my life. I have never wanted to be a wife and mom so much. I’m one of 5 girls and by the end of next summer I’m the only one not married. I’m the middle girl too. It was hard watching my twin get married a year ago. Now I’m watching both my younger sister enter engagement and marriage. I know that the Lord has a plan but it is hard to not want to go out looking for any guy. The comments about how a guy can’t fill me I know is true but it is also where I’m at. Wanting someone to fill the hole in my heart. I struggle digging into the Word and pursuing the Lord. I fill forgotten and left behind. What would you ladies encourage me to do to pursue the Lord and not let the fear of being forgotten take over?
Thank you so much for writing this post! It was very inspiriting to me. I am currently in a relationship and am ready for it to move forward to marriage. I really enjoyed how you talked about being content in the state that we are in. I needed to here that. Everything will happen in God’s time. So I will put my faith in him and continue to pray about our relationship.
This is exactly what I needed to hear right now. I just graduated college. I was in two relationships during my 4 years in school and they were both terrible for me. The last guy I dated bashed my faith after getting angry with me one night and that’s when I knew it was over. But those two relationships taught me that I need someone who understands and feels the same way about their faith as I do. They never understood the things I did or why my priorities are the way they are because they didn’t understand my faith. And it caused a lot of issues in my relationships with those guys and my family.
That being said, I have been on my own for a year now and it has been the best year. I found a church I love and have learned so much about myself. Though throughout the year I have had many struggles like Steph. Even though I am happier now, I still long to find the one God has picked out for me (which for a very impatient person is a huge struggle).
Wow. This is exactly what I needed in this season of my life. I’ve battled with knowing but ignoring that I’m in the wrong relationship for months. I too often thought that I could lead him closer to Christ but also knew that this role was exhausting me instead of being shared. After seeing Sadie’s engagement video, I knew that was it. That’s a Godly relationship, I felt His peace. I read the comments others shared about the couple and realized none of my friends would say the same about my own relationship because they see how hurt and burdened I’ve become. “Love” and denial can be blinding, but faith brings such clarity. My biggest fear of breaking up was being alone right before and during college. I feared not having someone to call at the end of the day when I was left alone in my dorm surrounded by new people. But after reading the post on Leaning into Aloneness along with this post, I feel CONFIDENT in God’s plan for me and excited for the spiritual growth to come in this next season. Thank you!!!
Loved reading this! I liked that it showed what people from different steps in life though about this topic! Also now Sadie is engaged!!! No longer just dating. Congrats Sadie!
Hi Rebecca. So, like the girls said in their post, in 2 Corinthians 6:14 it says “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.” I am 16 and have been in a similar situation to you with regards to having unbelieving friends and i understand the dilemma you have. I want to encourage you to pray for these friends of yours; you will never believe the power prayer has. I think you can still be friends with them, but not best friends, because your closest circle of friends are the ones that have the most influence on you and these should always be Christian friends. So i encourage you to be there for these non-believing friends, but you need not keep them too close or let them influence you. Your relationship with the Lord is more important and although we are called to make His name known to all nations, it is not your job to save everybody. Maybe you’re not the one God intends to help change their lives and it is important to remember that. So as i said earlier the best thing you can do is pray for them and be there for them if they ask questions. Show them the love of Christ, but it is essential that your closest friends are Christians.
So thankful for this blog post. Singleness and dating is just plain hard! I have realized that many times in my relationships, I just want to be “wanted” and will hang on to that even when I know the relationship isn’t the right one. Even if your guy goes to church with you and says he’s a Christian, if he’s not helping you GROW as a Christian and helping you get closer to heaven, he is not the right one. Ask yourself if your guy is truly making you better, or if you’re holding onto things that are so not important in the long run, like feeling “wanted”.
Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you writing this article and the rest of the site is very good.
Thanks for this! Up until very recently, I struggled a lot with the idea that I would never find a guy that would respect my physical boundaries and would encourage me to be a better Christian. Based on the people I’ve seen and the relationships I’ve tried (going to high school in California) it’s been really difficult to find any guy who truly loves Jesus and lives that. Through these articles and keeping up with you all on social media, my eyes have been opened to a much more hopeful outlook on my future in seeing how you are treated and what you all expect from a man.
This is a good,common sense article.Very helpful to one who is just finding the resouces about this part.It will certainly help educate me.
I absolutely loved this blog post, it gave so much truth in relationships. I am currently dating a amazing man and we are both strong christians but we were wondering if there are ways we can be growing closer to Christ as a couple besides church and bible studies? We are both in college and while there it is easier to do things together but in the summer we are long distance and want advice on good things to do as a couple to grow closer to Christ.
This design is wicked! You definitely know how to keep a reader entertained. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Great job. I really enjoyed what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!