I was stuck in toxic cycles most of my life. I went guy to guy to guy trying to find someone to fill the whole in my heart that later I learned only Jesus could. Can you relate? I was thirsty if you know what I mean. My story is the woman at the well. Constantly thirsting with no relief. UNTIL, I met Jesus and he changed everything for me, and I mean EVERYTHING and now I can’t stop talking about him.

I wrote a book called “The One that God Away”. It’s written about my life story and my toxic relationship cycles, with biblical truth wrapped throughout it. It centers around one of my favorite books of the bible and one of my favorite chapters, specifically Jesus with the Samaritan Woman or what some translations call, the woman at the well, and I believe we can learn a lot about who Jesus is and His character by this story in John 4.

I won’t share the whole story in John 4 here although it’s a good one, and definitely worth you reading all of it on your own, however, I do want to highlight a few things that I learned:

1. Jesus pursues. John 4:7 NLT reads,

“a Samaritan woman came to draw water, and Jesus said to her, “Please give me a drink.

What I find so beautiful about this simple verse is that the Samaritan woman didn’t start the conversation, Jesus did.

He pursued her, and not only did he pursue her, he went out of his way and outside of social “norms” to pursue her. For context, at this time, Jews wanted nothing to do with Samaritans and they would not have been seen together, let alone a Jewish man and a Samaritan woman. It was a reckless pursuit, and he still recklessly pursues you today. When your making choices that honor Him and when you’re not. He still pursues. He is the same yesterday, today and forever, so when you read about his pursuit of her, you can read it as his pursuit of you as well.

Brandon Lake has a beautiful song called, “Greater Still” that has been on repeat in my head lately, the lyrics go,

“You saw me at my lowest moment

You saw me at my very worst

When I expected disappointment

Love was all I heard

My sin was deep

Your grace was deeper

My shame was wide

Your arms were wider

My guilt was great

Your love was greater still”

It’s a beautiful reminder that nothing can separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:31). He not only loves, but he pursues us so that we can experience his love that is so great.

2. Jesus gives. John 4:10 NLT reads:

“Jesus replied, “If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water.”

God has a gift of living water for each and every one of us. What is living water? Maybe you are asking today in the same literal way that the Samaritan woman asked Jesus, “but you don’t have a rope or a bucket.”

The living water that Jesus is talking about here in John 4 is a metaphor for the eternal life that God has gifted to each believer, a well that never runs dry. We live in a broken world with a hole in our heart, a thirst, that only Jesus can satisfy.

When we drink of this living water that Jesus talks about, we can know that we will never be spiritually thirsty again. He satisfies our every desire. His plan for us was not just for salvation but to quench our thirst here on earth which is what we are seeing in this story.

What a good gift, right? The ultimate gift if you ask me – And as we all famously know from earlier in John, God gives the best gifts, He gave His most prized possession, His son for you (John 3:16). I would say He’s a pretty good gift giver.

3. Jesus sees. John 4:16-18 NLT reads,

“Go and get your husband,” Jesus told her.

“I don’t have a husband,” the woman replied.

Jesus said, “You’re right! You don’t have a husband—for you have had five husbands, and you aren’t even married to the man you’re living with now. You certainly spoke the truth!”

I get emotional every time I read this part of the story, because Jesus sees all, and knows all, even the messy parts, and your messy parts aren’t too messy for Him. When Jesus reveals something from our past to us, it doesn’t come with shame or condemnation, it comes wrapped in love, because He is love. He doesn’t come to expose you, he comes to expose the darkness, your enemy.

My story is similar to hers. I struggled with finding my worth, I looked for it in men and titles, and just like her was caught up in toxic cycles, until I met a man named Jesus who promised me living water, and just like her, everything changed.

But there is a tension. A tension between a good God and a fallen world, and if you’re not aware that both occur at the same time, you will be set up by the enemy to snatch away the very thing that God just birthed in you and your salvation and sanctification.

If I’m honest, I believed a very common lie that maybe you have believed as well that once you encounter Jesus and work according to his purpose, you won’t suffer or if you do, it won’t be that bad. Or to take it a step further that you will be blessed immeasurably more than you can think or imagine. Which is true but not necessarily in the right context.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

This is not an “if” we will have trouble but it’s a “will”, we will have trouble – even after we encounter Jesus and surrender our whole life to him, because as you see in the first part of this verse, in Him we will first have peace, BUT, we will also, at the same time experience trouble.

I don’t think we are prepared as new believers for the heaviness of sanctification, of pruning, of the wilderness seasons, and then of seasons that include traps, temptation, and testing.

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around lie a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8

You know who in my opinion I believe the enemy likes to devour? New “on-fire” believers. New believers who are passionate about being in the will of God and understand the call on their life. So don’t be surprised when you meet trouble or want to give up because we know the character of God and we also know the character of our enemy.

“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” John 10:10

When we experience heaviness, sadness, heartbreak after encountering Jesus without the knowledge that these things can be expected, it can cause us to either give up on the leading of the Holy Spirit or worse on Jesus altogether. I want to prepare you for something different. I want to prepare you for the battle, the spiritual battle that you will walk through after a real encounter with Jesus because call me naïve, call me “young in the faith” lacking biblical understanding, but I was not prepared for the heartbreak that this life throws.

I wish we could meet Jesus and never struggle again. I wish we could meet Jesus and never be tempted or tested again. I wish we could meet Jesus and then meet our future spouse right away or walk into the promise that we had been praying years for, but sadly, that is usually not the story, but God is faithful and he promises that he is with us through it all. I wouldn’t want to do this life any other way.