What’s with profiles, anyways?

I had socials deleted for a little over a week and believe it or not, I loved it so much.

So much so, I tried to deactivate my entire Instagram account – but it won’t let me?? due to a system error?? for 8 days now????? Trust, I have been arguing with ChatGPT for days trying to figure it out.

I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love social media. Always have.

When I turned 14, I was “finally” able to get Instagram and when I did, it turned into a space where I could share, create, and document – a true creative outlet.

I then became ~kind of~ good at it? I started to adapt these skills to my job, ministry, and grew a love for social media marketing. I now have a role in my job where my title is literally “content coordinator” and I LOVE EVERY SECOND OF IT!

My entire portfolio is built on digital marketing, words, photography, graphic design and so on.

All that to say…I “love” social media.

But man do I strongly dislike it. (We don’t say hate around here!)

I anticipated that after my “hibernation with the Lord,” I’d have so much overflow that my Instagram would be flooded with fun & fresh ideas, reflections, and a “beachy” colorful feed.

But instead, I’ve grown this desire to “create more, consume less”

And not in the way I used to – not online, or in a digital sense. With my hands, with cooking, with writing, with hosting, etc.

I have even felt a sense of grief? (weird, right?)

Once I go back to this online presence I have created for myself, will I lose that quiet space with Him, the moments where it was just me, Him, and the pink carpet on my living room floor that I’m pretty sure is knee shaped right about now.

The prayers that only He gets to read. The journal entries that speak to my heart and His. The language only Jesus and I understand. That sacred space that I cherish so so much.

As I’ve wrestled with it, I’ve come to realize how much I might miss what I treasure so deeply in this season.

BUT! THEN!

There is this tug on my heart that I have always had – to share. to encourage. and maybe even inspire.

When I was 15, my youth pastor spoke on how, “we are wasting our life.” We waste time scrolling, conversations on meaningless whatever, and so on. How many of those opportunities could be used with sharing the Gospel?

This then inspired me to start my first blog, “Ray of Sunshine.”

Oh, how I loved that blog. I shared so many similar things to what I get to now. It is where I fell in love with writing, and it all started with a desire to encourage others with what the Lord was teaching me. I didn’t want to waste yet another area of my life. If I am now allowed to have social media – then I want to ensure I am using it to spread the Gospel, or “spread some light” as 15 year old Raylee would say.

However, somewhere along the way, life got busy and I stopped writing as much, but I kept posting.

I kept documenting. I kept creating. and I kept curating a“perfect” feed of a life I am truly thankful to live.

But over the last few months I have been brought back to this idea of “wasted.” How we are wasting our life on so many meaningless things that in the grand scheme of eternity truly hold no weight at all.

Even social media. Especially social media.

What’s the point? Why do we love it? Why do I love it?

I mean besides the fun pictures and bright colors – again, it has been a favorite creative outlet for almost 10 years now.

—

But what’s with profiles anyways?

We meet someone and then immediately look them up on Instagram to know them better or form ideas based on what they put online.

On an app. An APP.

Or! Before we even meet someone, we have preconceived notions about their personality, beliefs, lifestyle – maybe even how tall they might be.

And honestly, I’ve found myself getting stressed when someone new follows me.

Do I seem too much? Too out there? What if my personality doesn’t match my feed?

How sad & silly is that?

That a profile, curated squares on a screen, could feel like my identity.

FOR WHY.

These profiles become the preconceived version of someone before we ever meet them – or the version we search for after we meet them.

And from there, we subconsciously base every interaction on that.

I know this because I do it. I stalk. I dive deep. Suddenly, I feel like I “know” someone – their lifestyle, their hobbies, their vibe.

And then I become insecure.

What are they thinking about me?

Because I know I’m not as curated as I seem online. (no one is)

I know my bad habits. My struggles. My insecurities.

Only I know how rough my first six months in Charleston really were.

But on social media? It looked like Raylee was living her dream coastal life.

It was only a version of truth – but not the whole truth.

So why do we base our identity in it? Why do I?

Why do we do things so we can post about them? Read so we can share. Act so we can show.

Even when they’re “good” things.

There is something more noble, more true, and more pure about doing things only for yourself and the Lord.

And that’s where the tug lives.

Where is the line?

Some say it’s individual – a gift or a calling.

But I can’t wrap my head around the profiles we hold for each other in our minds. The profiles we carry for ourselves.

What matches my brand? What matches my feed?

When in reality, none of this is about us at all.

I just, I don’t like it. I am at a loss with myself. a war in my mind constantly.

Social media can be such a good tool, a space to encourage and spread light into a worldly app that is craving Jesus.

But the noise. The distraction. The performative pressure.

In previous years, I found myself reading SCRIPTURE and immediately thinking of ways I could post about it on my socials. (wut??)

As if the Word was about me to begin with. It’s all about & only about Him – the entire Word of God, cover to cover. …anywho, I digress.

I mean, it’s all in good intentions, I reckon, but it’s simply put, sad.

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Why must we feel the need to share EVERYTHING?

We wear eye patches when we wake up because every influencer now does so in their 17 step makeup routine.

Not to mention own red light lamps and vibration plates (all in which I have fallen victim to)

What would we do if we couldn’t post about it?

Who would we be friends with? What dreams would we have? What would remain only between us and the Lord?

(Is this making sense? pls lmk cause these are such new ideas I am tussling with)

And to be super real with you, I will probably post a link to this very blog on my Instagram story because so many of my readers come from that platform.

Same with ministries I’m involved in. Same with my job.

So what is the balance here?

A heart posture? A time limit? A “brick”? (which truthfully, I refuse to be influenced by because I just need to simply learn some discipline.)

Because this isn’t just about wasted time.

It is a space in my mind that is full of noise. The thoughts that ask, “how does my feed look?” – ya know, someone just followed you, so you stalk yourself to see it from their perspective.

or!

“Is this cute enough?” “Will this come across performative?”

Always questioning my intentions. Always wondering how I’m perceived.

The world we live in seems to demand we share it. Not because we’re inspired, but because it’s become expected.

Why is it never enough to just experience something? Why do I feel like if I don’t post, I’ve missed out on an opportunity to encourage, inspire, or help someone?

I’m starting to realize that most of this stems from pride and insecurity – both in which grow from the same accord.

The pride of wanting to be seen, to make an impact – and the insecurity that question my own intentions. It’s this push-and-pull of desiring significance and yet doubting if the significance is even pure.

— Francis Chan’s sermon on “The Power of a Quiet Life” is what I am blaming all this commotion about.

Chan talks about how the world tells us to chase fame and influence, but the Lord calls us to a humble, quiet life – one that doesn’t need the applause of man, but is content in serving the Lord in the hidden spaces.

“But we encourage you, brothers and sisters, to do this even more, to seek to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you, so that you may behave properly in the presence of outsiders and not be dependent on anyone. – 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

This quiet life isn’t about staying invisible. It’s about doing everything with intention and humility, seeking God’s glory, not our own. It reminds me that I’m not called to chase after the world’s applause, but rather to live in a way that honors Him, even in the private, unseen moments.

I want to draw attention specifically to verse 12, where it says, “so that you may behave properly in the presence of outsiders and not be dependent on anyone.”

Performative (adj.) When something is done more for show than for sincerity or substance. It looks meaningful on the outside, but the main goal is being seen, not being true.

Examples: A performative post → sharing something not because it genuinely overflowed from your heart, but because it will “look good,” get engagement, or fit a brand.

● Performative faith → doing spiritual things publicly for appearance, approval, or image rather than real devotion.

● Performative vulnerability → being “real” online, but only in ways that are curated and safe for applause.

In contrast:

● Authentic → done because it’s real, necessary, and between you and God first

● Quiet obedience → done even if no one ever sees it

With that, “behaving properly” looks like abiding to the Word of God – in the quiet place, the sacred place, and depending on the True Vine for the fruit of your life.

Depending on the Lord for ALL your personality, interests, dreams, communities.

Not dependent on society. Not social media. Not trends.

Because we cannot be dependent on that. Are you kidding! It changes daily! The algorithm shifts, trends expire, and my “get list” grows with every swipe.

And yet, I do find myself feeling like my dreams, goals, and community are dependent on social media.

Want to write a book? → Grow an online presence. Want to start a brand? → Grow an online presence. Want people at Bible study? → Grow an online presence.

But do I actually believe that if the Lord placed those dreams on my heart, they would be DEPENDENT on social media alone?

Do I truly believe that if He wanted to flourish them for His Kingdom, He wouldn’t do so in a way that reflects the quiet life He calls us to?

I’m not saying I’ll never have social media again. Heck, I might post a “day in the life” next week – who knows!

But I cannot be dependent on anything besides Jesus Christ.

My dreams. My personality. My habits. My calling. My community. My future.

All of it must be dependent on Him alone.

And that comes from making it my ambition to live and lead a quiet life.

● Quiet life as conviction – something in the noise no longer sits right in my spirit.

● Quiet life as practice – the dwelling place, returning to Him again and again.

● Quiet life as tension – desiring to reach people, longing to be hidden with God.

● Quiet life as decision – true identity found only in abiding in the Vine.

Starting my days in the quiet place. Letting Him define who I am, what I create (online and in person) the community I cultivate, and the presence I carry.

And again, I “love” social media. It may be my job for life.

It may be the platform for my ministry. Or it may simply be a season.

But what I do know is this:

I am called to live and lead a quiet life. To abide in Him. To depend on Him.

and that is what I will do, and I encourage you to do the same!