“If only I had what she had, then I would be happier.”
“I wish I was that loved, it looks like everyone loves her so much.”
“It looks like that is working out for her really well, why does nothing ever work out like that for me?”
“They always like, comment on, and re-share her photos, they must like her more than me.”
“Wow, she has got it all together all the time and I just feel like a mess all the time.”
These thoughts above are thoughts that I have struggled with in my life. I am not proud of these thoughts in any way. But at a point in my life, I have thought them, they consumed my mind and took away my joy. They say, “comparison is the thief of joy,” and I have come to realize that it is Satan who is the thief of Joy and he does all that he can to try and make us believe that what we have isn’t enough.
Satan who makes us fall into comparison is the true thief of joy.
So how do we do it? How do we escape from comparison? How do we be women who encourage and uplift other women no matter what our circumstances may be?
We fall before the feet of Jesus Every. Single. Day.
We ask Him to show us the areas in which we have made ourselves the center. We repent of those things and we ask him to invade our hearts and be at the center of all that we do.
Comparison cannot be overcome without the One who has overcome it all.
It is so much easier said than done though, right? One minute we are reading the word of God and feel seen and known by Him. The next minute we are scrolling on social media consuming our minds with content that makes us feel like we are less than. It is a vicious cycle and one that we will always need to be ready to go to battle with. Our battle with comparison belongs to God.
Let’s equip ourselves with scripture to ground and strengthen us when we catch ourselves falling into moments of comparison:
“Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance.” (1 Corinthians 13:4 TPT)
When they get what you wanted. When she gets the job instead of you. When they get what you feel like you’ve been waiting for your whole life. When it seems like the stars are aligning perfectly for them and all you want is for two stars to align for you. Love refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. On our own, we can not fully love in such a way as this. But with the strength of Christ, reading and reminding ourselves of this scripture, and making Him the center of our hearts, He begins to transform us.
“We have become his poetry, a re-created people that will fulfill the destiny he has given each of us, for we are joined to Jesus, the Anointed One. Even before we were born, God planned in advance our destiny and the good works we would do to fulfill it!” (Ephesians 2:10 TPT)
Friend, God has His perfect plan for you that is going to be different than His perfect plan for them. We live in a time where our minds are bombarded with what everyone else is up to and doing. Our selfish flesh begins to desire what the world defines as “making it.” But what our flesh desires usually doesn’t line up with what God desires for our life. In the moment, it is hard to see when someone gets something we are desiring. But know and trust that before you were even born, God planned in advance your destiny and the good works you would do to fulfill that. Ask Him to align His desires for your life to also be the desires of your heart.
“Be devoted to tenderly loving your fellow believers as members of one family. Try to outdo yourselves in respect and honor of one another.” (Romans 12:10 TPT)
We are to celebrate one another! When we know fully that God is doing wondrous work in the life of a friend it deserves celebration. Satan is likely going to try and trick us into thinking that God must not love us or care about us as much as them. But actually, God withholds things from us for our good and because He knows our every need. So when God blesses another may we encourage, support, and celebrate knowing full and well that God is at work in that person’s life! May we be people who choose celebration over comparison.
“So I’m asking you, my friends, that you be joined together in perfect unity—with one heart, one passion, and united in one love. Walk together with one harmonious purpose and you will fill my heart with unbounded joy. Be free from pride-filled opinions, for they will only harm your cherished unity. Don’t allow self-promotion to hide in your hearts, but in authentic humility put others first and view others as more important than yourselves.” (Philippians 2:2-3 TPT)
The sin in which comparison stems from is pride. And when we become prideful, unity is harmed and in danger. Pride loves to hide. It is sneaky. It is like a killing weed and if it takes root and grows, it damages what is around it. So we must check in with ourselves and do a heart-check to make sure pride is not taking root. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
- Are there any opinions or thoughts in my heart today in which I am in the center of?
- Am I putting the needs of myself first or the needs of others?
- In recent conversations have I been making myself the center?
These 4 passages from the bible above are what we can use in our battle against comparison. Write them down. Memorize them. Let them become your lifestyle.
I see you, the one who has been struggling with comparison, and I am with you. It truly is something that we will always have to fight against, and sometimes it may get the best of us. Know that it doesn’t make you any less of a person. It doesn’t mean you are weak. It doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough.
Like I said above, it takes falling at the feet of Jesus Every. Single. Day. Rely solely on Him. Pray these verses over yourself. Be confident in where He is leading you, knowing and trusting that it is perfect for you. And as you are led, cheer on others as they too are being led.
As your Father in heaven cheers you on, go and cheer on His people.
Ally is a pediatric nurse in San Diego, and on her off days she is writing and creating encouraging content for her Instagram page @wordsaregolden. She is a big fan of Jesus, lover of all things pink, drinks iced coffee every day, and loves to cook for and host people in her home.
Follow her on Instagram: @wordsaregolden