When holding onto a relationship longer than you feel Gods hand upon it, whether we realize it or not, we’re saying, “I know whats best for me”.
Sure, the signs are still there, from the more consistent arguments and the continuing of compromises, but the more you place band-aid excuses over their bad behavior—you start to believe the lies the enemy is allowing yourself to speak. We hold out from letting them go insisting…
“they will change”
“they just need a little grace and space”.
“You don’t know him like I do”
“Well, when things are good though, they’re really good”.
And I can’t speak for you, friend, but as I’ve said these very things from my own lips, and from my experience,
I was loosing…me. For a season, I thought I had lost, ME.
Where I once was being treated like a princess held with the upmost respect, somewhere along the way I became the one to reinforce our physical boundaries. And what was once shinny, and I would dare to say—STILL IS, in his eyes became familiar. And that respect turned into complacency.
& this was the beginning of my hardened heart.
The walls began to be built as the trust, purity, and respect were slowly being torn down…in turn, tearing ME down.
For you it may have been overnight, but for most of us, I believe it’s a slow fade. Step by step. Moment by moment. Compromise by compromise. Where once good intentions were spoken, the actions lived out contradict what was said. And the very things that were said, have now been questioned, and once again, we’re back in the garden with the enemy making us doubt, “did God REALLLYYY say?” Thus birthing sin. And that sin…bringing forth DEATH.
No, not the death of lighting striking us dead on a bright summers day, but the death of our joy. Our light. Our purity in the way we see the world.
And one day, with eyes wide open, you find yourself crying out, “how did I get here?!” As you desperately try to remember the stranger starring back at you in the mirror.
I’m not upset at you, sister. I’m not in the slightest pointing a finger at you, shocked or full of judgement that wow, you’ve gone too far. Because girl. If ANYTHING, that finger should be pointed at me. Because I have gone too far.
And for YEARS. I mean Y E A R S I have kept this TRUTH to myself. Sure, my mom found out and that horrified me (to say the least). & my dad, too, was brought into the conversation by my mom, and although it felt like I could take my next breath as it was now in the light, I still felt…used. Dirty. Broken? Too Far gone?
It breaks my heart that for our sisters that do feel stuck in that relationship, or less than because of what they’ve done or what has been done to them, they feel they have to stay quiet. absolutely quiet. That no-one can find out. & more girls that we probably will ever know are silently suffering.
Like me, you may have known better…but it was head knowledge. NOT the heart knowledge, of fully understanding how overwhelmingly LOVED you ALREADY are by the CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE, where you don’t have to “prove” your love.
Girl—I pray you find freedom from your Father in this—
Going too far is not the unforgivable sin.
Beloved, you are NOT what you’ve done or what has happened to you.
Today, RIGHT NOW, in this very moment you can come and lay it all before His feet and cry as many tears as you have stored up in that heart of yours, telling Him you’re sorry, and you want to come home. You can be done with where you’ve been, and be fully loved and known by Him alone.
Maybe you just need someone to see you. So I say to you, sister—you’re NOT broken, too far gone, or damaged goods. And If there is any hope I can share with you, it’s that God did it for me… and He will do the same for you, too.
I was asked to continue my post, “to the girl who’s no longer with the one she thought she would marry…” but as I began to type—this is what came out of my heart.
I’ve actually not shared… anywhere…. that I’ve gone too far, physically.
But today, here with you, resting in the presence of my Father who has redeemed me, not just from somethings—but ALL things because He is not a halfway healer, it’s freeing.
So to the girl who is no longer with the guy she thought she would marry—
Take this time to heal. Allow God to show you who you are in HIM, and remember that little girl He created, and loves so much.
To the girl who is still with the guy she knows she shouldn’t marry—
In your weakness, God is your strength. Lean on Him, and lean into the nudges the Holy Spirit is showing you. You will never regret being obedient. And I will leave you with this—if he never changed, would you be fine?
& to the girl who feels unseen, unloved, and views herself as damaged goods— well, to put it plain sister… these are all lies from hell, that couldn’t be farther from the truth of the GOSPEL OF JESUS.
You are seen.
You are loved.
In Him you are forgiven
And through Christ, you are REDEEMED.
It’s time to take these broken pieces from the chapters in your story you’ve tried to white out or rip out entirely, and lay them before your Father. And as He takes all things, and turns them for your good, and His glory—I dare you to be so brave to believe Him at His word and watch Him do a miracle in your story. And YOU are loved with an everlasting love.
When letting go of a relationship you no longer feel Gods hand upon, whether we realize it or not, we’re saying, “God knows whats best for me”.