*I just want to preface by saying that I know there are much bigger problems in the world than the issues I’ve experienced as a college athlete and an Ivy League student. But just like with any dream, when it becomes a broken one, you mourn it – but God redeems!*

For most of my life I associated God with my dreams. He was the Creator of my dreams and the Giver of my dreams. I feel so blessed that many of my childhood dreams have “come true”. Ever since I understood what college was I wanted to be a DI athlete and an Ivy League student. And honestly, I knew Jesus but I don’t even know how often I fervently prayed for those things. However, I knew He knew my dreams — His hand was so evident throughout it all. I could write a book on the miracles and faithfulness of God just in making those two dreams come true. Not that it was all “magical” or easy, but God kicked down doors I couldn’t even nudge open myself.

However, I’ve spent the last year, and especially the last few weeks, really contemplating what it means when you have a broken dream. What does it mean when you’ve prayed for a dream for years, and in my case dreams that God did once grant, and yet those are now broken dreams? How do I understand God making a way in the wilderness to get me onto the Penn field hockey team just to have a rather horrible experience? How do I understand years of praying for a relationship and being in a relationship that has helped me through some really dark seasons, and yet God has told me to lay it down?

“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:19

To be completely honest, recently God has felt like a dream breaker. He knows my personal desires yet He’s taken them away. My field hockey experience was not all that I thought it would be, being an Ivy League student is certainly not all it’s made up to be, being in a relationship has never fulfilled me, and the list goes on.

At first I was mad at God – how could He take so much away and still expect me to be okay? It seems mean to make a dream come true just for it to be bad or taken away.

But what this season is teaching me is God isn’t doing this because He wants to see me struggle, He actually wants the opposite. Instead, He NEEDS all of me and all of you. Being a DI athlete, an Ivy League student, and in a relationship was something I based my worth on and my identity in. It was a crutch for me to get through the tough times. If everything wasn’t working out, I subconsciously thought, at least I’ll have the title of athlete, Ivy Leaguer, being in a relationship, etc. But I’m realizing I cannot do what God has called me to do, go where God has called me to go and be who God has called me to be until I am content in Jesus alone.

Although I can’t say I’ve got this all down – because I’m even having realizations as I’m writing this – I do know that if we want to truly follow Jesus, we have to be willing to lay it all down. Lay down your current dreams, lay down your broken dreams, lay down your deepest wants and desires, and be in full surrender to the King of Heaven and Earth.

“And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?” Luke 9:23-25

How can we truly follow God’s path for our lives if we have white knuckles from holding on so tightly to our personal desires?

I have deep hope and faith that there is no way God is asking me, and you, to lay this all down just to give me something worse or even equal to it. He is going to give us something so much greater than anything we could ever ask for or imagine.

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,” Ephesians 3:20

I pray that if you are walking through something similar – saying bye to a dream you thought would be your life-saver – that you know Jesus truly is the only Life Saver. The Savior of the world who died the most gruesome death to not only give us life but life to the FULL.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10

He has dreams planned for us that are so much greater than what we can even fathom – even if you can’t see them right now. I cannot see them right now, but I know that it is true because I’ve seen His faithfulness and He is the same yesterday, today and forever.

“For we live by faith, not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 5:7

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

“And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.” Luke 1:45

If your dreams are broken right now, know that God will redeem them. He redeems all things and works ALL things together for the GOOD of those who love Him. He always has and He’s not going to stop now. The struggle you’re facing now does not compare to the joy set before you. Laying down your dreams, being in full obedience to Him, is growing your faith so that you can be walking in peace with God’s plans for your life.

“Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he has redeemed from trouble and gathered in from the lands, from the east and from the west, from the north and from the south.” Psalm 107:2-3

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

Much love! – Lily