Honest and Humble

We do this: we get honest with God and ourselves, which leads to humility, and we confess. What do I mean by honesty? While honesty or awareness about the way we’re wired or the life we have lived up until now is helpful, I’m talking about a different kind of honesty. This is a different, deeper kind of honesty that most of us don’t want to deal with. It’s the kind of honesty that admits that even on our best day there is a darkness in our heart that naturally leans toward any opportunity to come out ahead. It’s the kind of honesty that admits, The reason I’m so frustrated in the places I feel overlooked isn’t always about getting to equal standing with those around me. It’s ultimately because I like to be in the position of power. I’m not actually upset that there is a power dynamic going on; I’m just upset that I happen not to be the one at the top of it. Because if I were, I would do better than everyone else has ever done.

Have you ever gotten that honest with God? Or yourself? When you do, you end up becoming something the world can’t make sense of: humble. And as opposed to constantly prideful people, humble people are the best to be around. They aren’t curated or fake. They’re real. 

If you haven’t gotten this honest with God, have you ever considered that this is the reason loving others is so hard? It’s hard to love people you want power over. It’s hard to love people you think, deep down, are beneath you, even though you happen to be in a position beneath them. It’s hard to love people you don’t see yourself as equals with—rather, you see yourself as better than. It’s hard to engage your neighbor according to God’s instructions when you are more concerned about power than love.

Have you ever just told God these things—straight out, as honestly as possible, no sugarcoating it? Have you ever just confessed the truth of these things in prayer? Because the ugly truth is that this sort of sin is in every human heart. You are no exception, and neither am I. And here’s how I know.

The First Power Struggle

In the beginning of time, the world had no power struggles. For some unknown, brief time Adam and Eve had perfect relational communion with God, enjoying His world and His love. Harmony ruled the day. Can you imagine that—relationships with no friction? No conflicts? No hurt feelings or issues to sort through? That was the world before sin entered it.

So, what caused the world to lose this perfect environment of love and relational harmony? As the story goes, the serpent tempted Eve to eat from a tree that God had instructed her and Adam not to eat from. What would eating the fruit do, exactly, according to the serpent? “When you eat it your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil” (Gen. 3:5).

That was the promise the serpent tempted her with: you will be like God. In other words, you can have a power you didn’t even know existed. The serpent spoke to some desire in Eve for more. That desire was likely dormant until an opportunity presented itself, but it’s rooted in some level of dissatisfaction with one’s current state. Wanting more only happens when we feel like we don’t have enough.

As the rest of the story tells us, Eve ate the fruit and gave some to Adam. He ate it too (Gen. 3:6). They had a world of experiencing perfect love, but it wasn’t enough, and they thought they could pursue power without consequence. When they gave into the temptation to try to be God themselves, they learned quickly that a pursuit in power causes unthinkable damage to our relationship with God.

This choice brought sin and strife into the world for the first time. And the ripple effects not only fractured their relationship with God; it fractured their relationship with each other. When God approaches them and asks them about their disobedience, instead of being honest and humbly confessing, they start playing the blame game to get the moral high ground, Adam blaming Eve and Eve blaming the serpent (Gen 3:11–13), and we’ve been blaming others for our problems ever since.

We are all guilty of the unhealthy pursuit of the power that comes with trying to be God. Instead of experiencing God’s love, we grasp for the “better,” “ higher” seat above others. This is the human condition, and not one of us is exempt from it.

God’s Love Is Possible with God’s Help

This moment in the garden of Eden—the one I just walked through—is exactly why humans would rather be in the position of power with the freedom to choose whether we help our neighbor than be in a position that needs the help. Knowing this forces us to face a harsh reality, which is this: We are not trying to embrace God’s standard and example of love from some “middle ground” where we’re doing okay but could be doing better. We are attempting to love others from such a place of deficit that only divine power can help us walk in it.

Here’s another way of saying it: You can’t love well without God. You cannot be curious, free, and brave, and resilient in the way you love others by your own strength. You’ll burn out. You’ll end up resentful or jealous because others aren’t doing the same for you. You’ll get annoyed and you’ll start keeping score with others around you because they aren’t responding the way you want them to. All of which points to the fact that you want the power over them and control over the outcome of the relationship with them more than you want to love them. See what I mean? It’s impossible to live out God’s kind of love—the agape Jesus modeled for us and our Father requires of us—from a heart that has no natural inclination to do it.

Jada Edwards is an author, speaker, Bible teacher, and mentor. Studying and teaching the Bible to women is one of her greatest passions, along with discipleship and living on mission. While she is a lively and sought-after speaker, the local church is her home. She and her husband, Conway, planted One Community Church in Plano, TX, where she leads a regular women’s Bible study and serves on the teaching team and as the Creative Services Director. Jada enjoys spending time with Conway and their two children, Joah and Chloe, particularly around the dinner table. Her new book, A New Way to Love Your Neighbor, will be available nationwide on April 22, 2025.