What’s the Deal with Christians and Cussing?
No, seriously. Is there a deal? Is it a sin to say cuss words? They’re just words, so what’s the big deal? What if you’re just joking around? And if cussing IS wrong, why do so many Christians cuss casually without conviction?
I got these questions from some high school kids in my husband’s and my small group recently, and to be honest I didn’t know how to answer them.
My whole life I’ve been told not to cuss (we also couldn’t say “hate”, “sucks”, or “nasty”.. and fun fact: my mom still refers to “fart” as the “F word” ?). While I felt in my heart cussing was wrong, I never stopped to ask my four year old’s favorite question ?? “Why?”
This is why I love high schoolers who are new in their faith (and toddlers!), they teach me so much more than I could teach myself:
That it’s important to understand the reasons for the standards we set in our lives.
•• They remind me that when we are bold & humble enough to ask the simple questions, our faith can be radically deepened.
SO, I’m asking the question.
I’m asking for me.
I’m asking for you.
I’m asking for our children.
I’m asking for all of us.
Is it sinful to say cuss words? And why?
The short answer is YES. But stick with me, because the long answer is one I think we really need.
1. There isn’t a “list” of forbidden cuss words; It’s more dangerous than that.
Paul warns us in Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome (filthy) talk come from your mouth, but only what is good for building someone up in need.”
Then he says in Ephesians 5:4 “Nor should there be any obscenity, foolish talk or crude joking, which are out of place.”
?? Paul knew that to honor God with our tongues, we needed more than just a list of bad words to avoid, because what classifies as inappropriate language changes over time and across cultures. For example: The cuss words said today aren’t even in the Bible.
This is why instead of a list, the Bible gives us these verses in Ephesians as a standard to discern what is “out of place”, unfitting & dishonorable to God (aka sinful), that we shouldn’t use. Regardless of the 8 words in our English language deemed cuss words, if a word or phrase is unwholesome, vulgar, foolish, filthy, crude, or obscene, it is sinful to say.
2. God isn’t laughing.
I get it. The joke is funnier and your friends laugh harder when you say the cuss word. But please hear me on this – God isn’t laughing.
And if God doesn’t find our sin funny, why should we?
I think back to when I was in school, and wanted so badly to be popular like the cool girls. I remember lying on my mom’s closet floor in tears, and hearing her say to me, “Who decides what’s popular? Being popular is simply being known for something. What do you want to be known for?”
Those words gave me such confidence to stop looking to the world to define what’s “cool”, and start looking at what does God say is cool.
I asked my high school girls (and myself), “Do you think God would say cussing is cool?”
Galatians 1:10 “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
We are called to go out and make disciples. But we cannot win people to Christ by looking like the world.
3. Our words bring life or death.
I once heard a nutritionist say that everything we put in our mouths is either making us healthier or making us sicker; and thinking about this will help us make wiser food choices.
But What if we used the same thought about what comes out of our mouths?
Proverbs 18:21 says “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
Think about that for a minute. Every single word you speak either brings someone closer to Jesus (life) or pushes them farther away (death).
Woah. We have a serious responsibility as Christians, to stop and choose the words we speak wisely so that we may produce fruit that makes everyone around us healthier.
I love this verse in Luke 14:23 “And the master said to the servant, ‘Go out to the highways and hedges and compel people to come in, that my house may be filled.”
Are we COMPELLING people to come to Jesus with the words we speak?
4. Who makes your rules?
Who decided cussing is cool? Ya’ll, it’s the same guy who decided getting drunk is cool, and that gossiping is cool, and that watching pornography is cool.
It’s the same guy who convinced Eve that eating the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden was cool.
His name is Satan – the Prince of Lies, and wow, is he sneaky? The devil has taken over our televisions, our music and even our coffee shops, with so much filthy language in attempt to slowly desensitize us to the sound of sin.
And it’s working.
I asked my high school girls, “What percentage of people your age do you think cuss?” They said: 100%. What’s even more shocking to me, is that their answer didn’t change when I asked specifically about their Christian friends.
Satan convinces us that God isn’t concerned with something so small as our tongue. Lies!
In James 3, God urges us that although the tongue is a small part of the body, it controls the whole course of our life.
“No man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.”
Friends, God takes our words seriously, and so should we. “Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.” James 1:26
5. It’s hard to break bad habits.
How can we tame our tongues when Scripture says it’s impossible?
Matthew 19:26 says, “Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” We tame our tongues by relying not on ourselves and our own will power, but by partnering with the Holy Spirit and using the supernatural strength of the Lord inside of us.
Jesus warns us to not conform to the patterns of this world, but then gives us this hope: that amidst our most sinful addictions and bad habits, with Jesus we can be transformed through the renewal of our mind. (Romans 12:2)
Jesus thinks too highly of us to merely give us a rule book to follow. Christianity is not moralism. He wants our hearts, filled with the genuine desire to submit to His standards and bring honor to His name, so that we may make Him known to others.
•• So, girlfriends, are we bringing Him glory with the words we speak or are we tarnishing our testimony for Christ?
My prayer for all of us is that whatever standard we set for our lives and our families, we know the biblical reason behind it. I pray God renews our mind and transforms the language we use. I pray that we are so filled with gratitude and the Holy Spirit, that there is no room for unwholesome words to pour out of our hearts. I pray we stop looking to our peers and pop culture to tell us what’s cool and acceptable — and that we become known for bringing Life to people around us through our words.
Madison is a 6’ 2” mama of three littles (4, 2 & newborn!), living in Bloomington, IN with her college sweetheart hubby, Griffen. When she is not working full-time for a leading tech company – she is baking her signature chocolate chip cookies and getting real with teenagers in her living room. Madison is a tall girl with a tall dream to make a difference for the Kingdom through the lives of young women.
Madison is also an ambassador on the LO sister app! Want more encouragement from Madison? Join today at losister.com!
And follow Madison on Insta @themidwestskinny
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I’m not good at praying out loud.
I’ve never lifted my hands in worship at church.
I don’t know how to correctly use the word “abundant” in a Godly sentence.
I have a hard time remembering everything Moses did, or Joseph did, or even Jesus did.
I’ve never spoken in tongues.
I’ve never healed anyone.
I’ve never baptized anyone.
When Live Original asked me to be an ambassador for the LO sister app, I’ll be honest, I felt completely inadequate.
(I realize you may be thinking the same thing after reading that list above, ha!)
But seriously, do you ever feel this way, too? Like you love Jesus, you truly do; you hunger to know more of God; you lean on the holy spirit to guide your ways… but you see people who are more “Jesus-y” than you, and you feel like you will never attain that.
I went to Louisiana last December for a Live Original retreat. I remember hopping in the van at the airport with a bunch of other girls, and thinking, “How long until they figure me out? How long until they realize that I’m not as godly as them; that I’m a mediocre Christian, and so not worthy of being on this trip.”
On night one, we were all sitting around a campfire and a girl (that I greatly look up to spiritually) pulled me aside to tell me that something I previously said completely convicted her and pushed her closer to Jesus. It stopped me in my tracks, as I thought, wait, did God actually use this mediocre Christian to impact someone more godly than me? I realize now that that question in and of itself is full of false beliefs about God’s heart and Christianity.
Over that Louisiana weekend, God revealed to me four lies that Satan has had me (and maybe you?) believing about salvation.
Lie #1: God likes her more than me.
We’ve all thought this.
That girl in small group who’s super good at praying out loud (how does she remember everyone’s request?!), the friend who has never made a mistake, the woman who can recite scripture cover to cover — doesn’t God find more favor with them?
But Scripture says in Romans 3, “None is righteous, no, not one. … For ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”
We have to stop comparing ourselves to other sinners, when the only standard is Jesus. He is our example of obedience, humility, prayer life and victory over temptation. Other people’s outward godliness is not our measuring stick for godliness. When I stop comparing my holiness to others, and start measuring myself against Jesus, I realize that saying I’m “mediocre” is actually giving myself too much credit.
Do some people know God and His Word better than others? Yes.
Do some obey more? Yes.
Do some have greater faith? Yes.
God gives His people different spiritual gifts to glorify Him and edify the body of Christ. But please believe that there are no levels to Christianity. There’s no destination or finish line on this side of heaven that we can reach and say “ah we’ve made it!” Sister, we’ll never reach it. The girl you think is more godly than you, she’ll never reach it either.
Lie #2: You’ve gotta earn your spot.
I used to say before I got married, that my purity was my most prized possession. I held onto it tightly because I genuinely wanted to honor God. But if I’m being honest, I think it made me feel like I was earning my spot in heaven, too.
Don’t get me wrong, sexual purity absolutely pleases the Lord, but it doesn’t save you.
I can try all day to be more “Jesus-y”. I can wake up early before my kids and read the Bible, I can blast worship music in the car, I can sit front row at church every Sunday, I can even be a LO ambassador… but the Bible is clear that “all of our righteous acts are like filthy rags” to Jesus. (Isaiah 64:6) Nothing we manufacture or manifest secures our salvation.
Authentic faith comes from a heart transformed by the Word and a life lived by the Spirit. Evidence of this will surely show up in our works, but only as an outpouring of our hearts. To think we could earn God’s stamp of approval based on anything we muster up, ignores the purpose of the cross. “If righteousness could be gained through the law (aka obeying the rules), Christ died for nothing!” (Galatians 2:21).
There will be people you may think have earned their spot – maybe preachers who have baptized thousands, christian influencers with millions of followers on instagram, or singers who have #1 hits on christian radio — who Jesus will say “I never knew you!” (Matt. 7)
“For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.” (Ephesians 2: 8-9)
Lie #3: God calls the equipped.
I know you’ve heard this before, but maybe you’re like me and need a reminder often: God doesn’t call the equipped he equips the called. God‘s very own chosen 12 were average Joes like you and me. John, Peter, Andrew and James were fishermen before they were disciples. Matthew was a tax collector.
Even Moses questioned God’s calling on his life in Exodus, saying to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?” But listen to how God answers Moses, “God said, “I will be with you.”
Whatever God has called you to, it is for a divine purpose. God tells us to not fear, for He is with us. He is our God! He promises that He will strengthen us and help us. He is our confidence!
“May the God of peace equip you with every good thing to do His will. And may He accomplish in us what is pleasing in His sight through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.” (Hebrews 13)
Lie #4: I need to have all the answers to share Jesus.
A couple years ago I was meeting a friend for lunch in San Francisco, who happens to be atheist. A decade of friendship and we’d never really gotten deep about religion before. She was starting her photography business, so I sent her a Jenna Kutcher podcast (famous photographer/business woman) to listen to on her drive into the city.
When she got to the restaurant, the first thing she said was, “Who is Korie Robertson and Jamie Ivey? And why did you have me listen to that podcast?”
Whoops. She clicked on the wrong episode, and listened to the whole thing.
Accident? God knows no such thing.
She spent the entire lunch, and multiple hour long phone conversations later, asking tough questions about God. I wish I could say God used the mistaken podcast, and me as a vessel, to save her eternal life… but He didn’t (YET!)
What God did do is convict me in my self-centeredness for not sharing the gospel with her all the years I could have. I thought I needed more answers first. I told myself, “Once I know a few more Bible stories, or can answer the question ‘why do bad things happen to good people’, THEN I’ll share Jesus with her.”
I was too focused on ME.
We don’t need all of the answers to share the gospel, we just need one answer, and it’s JESUS.
“Do not be anxious beforehand what you are to say, but say whatever is given to you in that hour, for it is not you who speaks, but the Holy Spirit.” Mark 13:11
At the same time, God used my friend’s questioning to give me a deeper desire to know Him and His word better, so that I would “be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give a reason for the hope that is in you.” 1 Peter 3:15
When I started my ambassadorship with Live Original, I was afraid that God couldn’t use me to influence others. But now I realize that through this entire experience, I am the one God wanted to influence. MY heart was the one that needed work.
I came home from our camp out in Louisiana a completely changed person, with a renewed mind and transformed heart for Christ. A few weeks ago, my husband, Griffen, told me that HE felt like HE was a changed person ever since I went to Louisiana. Dang, God is good!
Satan wants us to feel inadequate. And the truth is, WE ARE. John 15:5 is my favorite Bible verse, and it says that “apart from Me you can do nothing.” When we finally let go of these four lies, and the false belief that there is some gold standard of a Christian that humans can and should achieve, we allow God to do His work in us. Sister, don’t fall for the lies. Keep your eyes on Jesus.
Madison is a 6’ 2” mama of three littles (4, 2 & newborn!), living in Bloomington, IN with her college sweetheart hubby, Griffen. When she is not working full-time for a leading tech company – she is baking her signature chocolate chip cookies and getting real with teenagers in her living room. Madison is a tall girl with a tall dream to make a difference for the Kingdom through the lives of young women. Madison is also an ambassador on the LO sister app!
Follow Madison on Insta @themidwestskinny