You Don’t Want What the Devil’s Got in His Crock-Pot
Wouldn’t you love it if you could just take a step into your future? Maybe your future relationship or marriage, and like what you see when you got there? You have the power to protect your future by choosing to live carefully right now and train for the marriage or relationship you might not yet be in. Sex and romance are not peripheral to your life, they are of life-and-death importance.
The good news is, you can arrive at the future that you hope for. But there is a flip side of this coin, too. It is also possible to do things now that will cause you to get to a future you don’t like when you get there.
Meet Esau. He did this. He’s a dude in the Bible, (a very hairy dude, we’re not sure what the deal is with that, but we’re told he’s really hairy) who made a decision, in a moment, that kept him from being able to get somewhere that he really wanted to go. In Hebrews 12:16 it says “Watch out for the Esau syndrome: trading away God’s lifelong gift in order to satisfy a short term appetite.”
What trade did he make, you’re asking? A little context would probably help for us to see what’s at stake here. Long story short, Esau was the grandson of a very famous man in the bible named Abraham. Abraham was given some ridiculous, extraordinary, massive, and impossible promises. God promised that through Abraham’s descendants He was going to bring a Messiah, a Savior, the hero of all possible heroes. (Hello!) So when Abraham had his first son, Isaac, this promise from God was passed on to him, as he was next in the bloodline. Then Isaac had two sons, twins. One named Jacob, and one named Esau. Even though they were twins, Esau was born moments earlier making him the firstborn, meaning the inheritance and the promises from God were now passed onto him. So, a lot is at stake here!
Here’s the kicker… Esau did not end up experiencing any of the things promised to him as the firstborn. He gave up all that God wanted to do in and through his life. So, I’m sure you’re wondering… what did he get for it? He must have gotten something pretty awesome in return, right? Not so much. He got… you ready?…a bowl of soup. That’s a really bad deal, this guy is not a good negotiator. But that is how it went down in Genesis 25.
Esau comes in one day from a hunting trip, he’s hungry and his brother is cooking. First, you have to know, Jacob and Esau, they were cut from a different cloth. Jacob is on Nordstrom.com, he’s shopping, he’s on Pinterest. Esau, he was like straight Cabela’s, you know what I’m saying? He’s like REI, he’s Field & Stream, he’s covering himself in elk urine, the whole deal. They had different tastes in everything. And when Esau came in from his hunting trip and smelled the soup Jacob was cooking, he got super hungry and he said, “let me have some of that soup.” Jacob realized he could leverage this moment, and he said, “I’ll give you some of this soup…but you’ve got to give me something in exchange for it…”
So in that moment, Esau signs on the dotted line giving Jacob everything God had promised to do in his life, he gave up being in the new testament, he gave up being in the bloodline of Jesus Christ, and he ate the soup in an impulsive act.
Now, it would be easy to pile on the guy, making him sound like a savage, and a barbarian, and an idiot, but what we should really see here, is that both you and I are capable of doing exactly what Esau did. Trading, in minutes, what we would regret for decades. The enemy, somewhere in some kitchen, has a pot of soup simmering. And it will be served up at the perfect time. Ladled into a dish, presented with culinary perfection, offered to you when you’re at your lowest, when you’re feeling unloved, when you’re feeling like your needs have not been met, when you’re worn down, stressed out, or anxious. And in that moment, when the steamy stew hits your nose, you will feel like all of your happiness is attached to what’s in that dish, and any notion of some far-off promise of how God wants to use you is going to seem so distant, so opaque, so unreal, and so undesirable.
I’m writing all this to tell you– you don’t want what the devil’s got in his Crock-Pot. He’s slow cooking the death of your calling. Don’t trade what you want most for what you want right now.
Know this: When your stomach gets empty, your standards get lower. That’s why it’s such a colossal mistake to go grocery shopping on an empty stomach. I’ve learned that lesson the hard way. I’ve come home with a cart full of Ben and Jerry’s, and my wife is like, “I asked you to get eggs…” but I was just so hungry that I made bad choices.
Do you think Jacob would have gotten Esau to make this deal if he would have approached him at the table after a full breakfast? And so it is for you. If you’re unclear about your calling, it will cause you to put a lower value on yourself than you deserve.
The devil has tremendous timing. He’ll make sure to show up with temptation just when you and your boo have had a fight, or just when there’s been friction at work, or just when something’s gone wrong. He’ll swoop in with some comfort sin that’s just the thing to cheer you up. But when you know who you are, you’re not going to let anyone else tell you what you’re worth. If you are full of God’s word and your hands are busy doing God’s work, guess what? You’re not going to have the space or the time to fall for these things that the enemy wants to put in your life.
Now if you’re like, “you keep talking about my identity, my calling– what do you mean?” Oh, did no one ever tell you? You’re a child of the King of Kings. You’re a son or daughter of the Emperor of all eternity. He is the Maker of the ends of the Earth, and you’re His adopted child, you’re royalty. I dare you to wake up every day, look yourself in the mirror and say, “I am chosen, I am loved, I am called, I am equipped.” Because you are!
It can be a hard thing to do, making choices right now for a far-off future, because now yells louder, but later lasts longer. Instant gratification will keep you back from ultimate satisfaction.
So when you’re tempted to do something that could take you away from where God wants you to go, that could take you away from the marriage experience He wants you to have one day, that could take you away from what your children, who aren’t even born, are going to one day walk in — just slow it down for a second, and in all you do, think follow through.
Excerpted with permission from Swipe Right by Levi Lusko, copyright Levi Lusko.
Don’t Play the Field
There’s this story in the bible about dating and marriage. It’s shocking and unbelievable. It almost doesn’t seem real, but I can assure you: to Jacob it was very very real. Jacob fell in love with Rachel – daughter of Laban, sister of Leah. Jacob promised Laban he would work for him for 7 years and in return have Laban’s blessing to marry Rachel.
Long story short, Jacob completed his time, which ended in a feast where Laban would give Rachel to Jacob. We don’t know much about this party, but we do know there was an open bar and that the beer flowed like wine. How do we know this? Notice this next verse:
But when evening came, [Laban] gave his daughter Leah to Jacob. And Jacob made love to her. (v. 23)
How drunk do you have to be not to notice that the woman you are making love to is not the one you just got married to? Yikes.
Even though cultures have changed, thousands of years have passed, and things are done very differently now, the exact same thing could happen to you. You could think you’re marrying Rachel, but wake up one day and realize you are hitched to Leah. As time passes, and the fog of deception lifts, you might discover that what was on the outside wasn’t the same as what was hiding deep down on the inside.
I’m not here to tell you to kiss dating goodbye, I’m here to tell you if you don’t fight for honor and take the time to really know the person you are dating, you’re kissing the life Jesus died for you to have goodbye.
The easiest way to marry the wrong person is to rush. Why is it so tempting to rush things forward? Because infatuation is easily mistaken for love. When you are infatuated with someone, you lose your mind. It’s like that scene in Bambi when everyone gets twitter-pated. You get love drunk, and the effect is so powerful that it’s spellbinding.
Rushing to Vegas or the courthouse—or at the very least moving in together—seems like the right thing to do. These feelings are good things. They’re just not enough to build a life on. No one can sustain that high forever; it would kill you.
Instead, date each other long enough for the fireworks and chemistry to either dissipate or mature. To do that, you have to come to a place where you realize the person you’re dating isn’t perfect. Then you can either move on or choose to commit to loving who that person really is, not just who you see him or her to be through the steam coming off of the newness of the relationship.
In the infatuation phase, you can’t trust your feelings and you shouldn’t rely on the substitute of physical intimacy. So what do you do? You need to ask these kinds of questions:
What do the trusted, godly people in my life think of the relationship?
I’m not talking about your cousin who has been married three times or the girlfriend who sleeps with everything that moves. I’m talking about your pastor, your small group leader, or your parents, if they’re believers. What do they think of the relationship?
You might object, “But they’re all wrong. Everyone’s against us. It’s a conspiracy!” Let me be straight with you: If the people who love you are all saying the same thing, there’s a reason. Comments like “I don’t like the effect he’s having on you” or “She seems to be pulling you away from Christ” act as a blinking red light on the dashboard.
Where and when did you meet, and what do you truly have in common with each other?
If you say, “I don’t like the people I meet. They’re only interested in one thing” then maybe fish in a different pond and use a different bait. If you don’t like what you’re attracting, do something to attract something else. The club is a great place to meet someone to hook up with. I think God’s house is a great place to meet a man or woman of God.
Is your relationship before marriage honoring God?
Are you taking something from each other that actually belongs to your future husband or wife?
I can hear you now. “Gotcha, Levi! Yes, we’re sleeping together; yes, we’re living together. But we are going to get married. And once we do, it means what I took was actually already mine. I was just getting it early. Inception!”
To the contrary, you are actually teaching your significant other during your single years whether or not you honor God’s standards and boundaries. If you can’t be faithful before marriage, why should they think you will be faithful in marriage?
Marrying the wrong person isn’t even the biggest problem; being the wrong person is. Because when you’re not becoming the person God’s called you to be, you will attract and look for the type of people who are wrong for you.
So here’s a new game plan. Instead of focusing and fixating on finding “the right one,” channel your energy into being “the right one”. As Matthew wrote, “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you” (Matthew 6:33).
A verse from Genesis was instrumental in Jennie and my’s relationship: Jacob’s dad Isaac was in the fields in the evening. And he lifted his eyes, and there was Rebecca.
Isaac wasn’t out there playing the field; he was harvesting the field. I don’t know of a better way to meet your wife or husband. Jesus said that the laborers are few but the fields are ripe for harvest (Luke 10:2). That should occupy your time in your single years. Give it all you’ve got! If you simply focus on fulfilling the Great Commission—a mission to go fishin’ for souls—I believe that one day you will lift your eyes and see a fellow fisherman or woman who is as passionate about the field as you are, and it will make sense to fish together. Do what God has called you to do. Run in that lane. Then one day you’ll lift up your eyes, and there they’ll be.
Excerpted with permission from Swipe Right by Levi Lusko, copyright Levi Lusko.
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