by Courtney Leatherwood | Feb 18, 2019 | Life Advice |
Emotions.
What does that word stir up inside of you? For me, it’s fear. Fear that stems from feeling as if the invitation to an emotion—either mine or someone else’s—will result in a lack of control. Can you say a sister needs help? Raising my hand over here.
I often find myself ignoring emotions that come my way. I look at my phone, see a text message from a friend, and think, that is too much emotion for today.I watch an episode of This Is Us, and push back the tears, the thoughts, the feelings. It’s too much today. I hang up from a phone call with my mom who shared about a hurting family member. I stare blankly and try to decide whether or not I want to process the information she shared. I move on. It’s too much today.
Emotions denied.
I am not proud of this “emotion dilemma” I am sharing with you today. It’s real though. You see, I know that turning off emotions leads to a hard heart and a heavier load. I know not opening up and sharing with others means I have to deal with it at some point and, probably, alone.
Excuses given.
For me, the posture I take on most days that puts emotions on the sidelines is busyness. We all go through what seems like entire seasons of expedited movement. You know what I’m talking about. Times when it seems like everything is in fast motion. Maybe it’s a year of moving to a new city or apartment or a new job or a new relationship or college or family matters or work decisions or community commitments. And on and on. We often fill our days to the point that we don’t have any more room in our brains to think or feel about anything or anyone else. And it just takes too much of our time and energy.
I’m sure you are like me and have been in seasons of “fullness” where life moves way too fast. It’s in those times I find myself making that choice to ignore emotions that come my way. I definitely say no to tears. To even listening to something that might lead to tears. I don’t have the time or the mental space for that person who comes with emotional baggage. When the small thoughts that say back awaytake over, I find myself giving in to them and pushing back all emotional involvement.
I keep a ready list of “reasons” aka “excuses” in my mind, giving me the freedom to decline emotions.
I don’t have time.
I don’t feel the way they do.
I can’t connect with them.
I don’t have the answers for them.
I don’t want to feel weak by crying.
I feel like I need to be a rock.
I’m better at listening than responding.
I don’t like physical touch.
The list goes on.
So, I back away from people, emotions and invitations because I think I can’t deal with them. I believe the lie that I can’t handle the emotions that come with connecting with people.
Keep in mind, not all of these emotions are heavy. Many are sweet feelings of care, praise, and celebration with the people that I love.
But, I swipe left and ignore the notification.
I know emotions are meant to be felt. And they have a purpose.
When we close ourselves off to people, we can close ourselves off to God.
God loves us. God loves His people. And I believe that God loves it when we are connected with Him and His people. His people are our people. God often uses His people to speak to us. He invites us into the hearts of people that He is changing daily.
Today, I feel like God is whispering:Lean in, child. Emotions are the place I can meet you, speak truth over you, feel close to you, and connect with you.
I have been guilty of being so focused on the jobs that are in front of me that I lost sight of everything and every person around me. We have to believe this: God has something for me in this season and I do not want to miss it. We have to ask ourselves: What does God want me to sit in now?
I want my life — my heart — to be focused on what God is doing in me and around me in all seasons. Especially when things are moving fast. I want to choose to invite my emotions — including people, places, and things—into my life. I want to lean into what God is doing here and now. I want that for you too.
Keep the invitation open. Click on the notification – the text message from an old friend, the phone call from a family member, the person walking on the street. Allow yourself to be interrupted. Look around at the people, places, answered prayers, conversations and events that you see God’s hand in. Write down what God is revealing to you.
Let’s not ignore what God is doing in our hearts.
Friends I write to you today a changed human. I’ve learned that life looks so different when I lean into the emotion God stirs, in me. I now find myself tearing up over a cup of coffee, a short phone conversation, a story, and more. When we open our hearts to see God in all areas of life, God will bless our efforts by showing us the beauty of others.
My hope is that you can soak in the things that God is doing in the here and now, not just the activities, but lean into how you feel. It’s worth it to bring others with you into your here and now. God is always preparing us for what’s next. By accepting and soaking up our here and now, we are getting ready for our then and there.
I want to share a few verses of encouragement so that you don’t miss out on what is happening right now in your life.
Keep in step with the Spirit: Galatians 5:16-17, 22-23 (ESV)
“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.”
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”
Love in Action: Romans 12:9 (NIV)
“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.”
Power in Love: 2 Timothy 1:7 (NIV)
“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”
Follow His Directions: Psalm 119:5-8 (MSG)
“You’re blessed when you stay on course, walking steadily on the road revealed by God. You’re blessed when you follow his directions, doing your best to find him. That’s right—you don’t go off on your own; you walk straight along the road he set. You, God, prescribed the right way to live; now you expect us to live it. Oh, that my steps might be steady, keeping to the course you set; then I’d never have any regrets in comparing my life with your counsel. I thank you for speaking straight from your heart; I learn the pattern of your righteous ways. I’m going to do what you tell me to do; don’t ever walk off and leave me.”
P.S. Hear my heart, please. Emotions are not always truth. You must align your thoughts and feelings with what God says in His Word. Trust me, you will feel with and relate to the people in the Bible more often than not. And you will know what God says about you is good and true.
Court Kruger is a dreamer and a creative. She’s a member of Team LO. Fueled by community, creativity and coffee, she spends her days moving the mission of Team LO through social media and graphic design. Court is passionate about encouraging other women in truth and love, and she loves celebrating small and big moments of life with handwritten cards.
Follow Court on Instagram @courtkruger
by Courtney Leatherwood | Apr 11, 2018 | Life Advice, Testimonies |
you are creative.
It’s a feeling that I had not experienced in a long while. Self-doubt. Can you relate? Maybe you have an area in your life where you battle the self-doubt day in and day out. If that’s you, I’m right there with you. Believe it or not, I’ve never experienced a heavy wave self-doubt in the area of my creative ability until recently. The moment I stepped into a full time role of designing, writing and creating, I faced a loud wave of opposition.
For months, I struggled to create anything. Sometimes, I would be so frozen with doubt that I couldn’t create or write or move. It was unreal…but so real to me. It’s sad, really…I was so engaged in my own thoughts and lies, that I could not receive encouragement from friends and family. Can you say words of affirmation: closed for business?
The voices in my head told me things like:
You can’t create that… UNEQUIPPED
Your words won’t be read…. UNNOTICED
Your work looks too much like theirs…COMPARISON
You don’t know what needs to be shared…UNKNOWLEDGABLE
You’re not enough… UNWORTHY
These are some of the lies that I faced for months. Sound familiar? Are there words, thoughts, and obstacles in your life right now that seem like giants? Raise your hand if that’s you, sister!
The way I see it, you have two options in the face of self-doubt:
1. You can believe the lies and remain paralyzed by self-doubt.
Or
2. You can press forward with confidence and experience FREEDOM, living in the fullness of what you’re called to do.
Months after my battle, I had a sweet friend ask me: What does God say is truth?
I am enough in Him.
I am creative because of Him.
I am free because of Him.
I am strong in Him.
I am able in Him.
IN HIM…. He is my strength. Read that one more time if it didn’t sink in.
Everything I see, create and do in this world is because of Him. Every time I feel strong, it is because of Him. Every day I create art or design, is because of Him. And I am fully equipped, because of Him.
So, I’m writing from the other side telling you that in God’s strength, you can experience freedom and joy! Once I surrendered my fears and doubts to Him, I was fueled with creativity like never before (the proof: this new LO magazine). And honestly, I had no idea what I was doing, but God worked in me. I believe He can do that for you too.
Let’s pause for a moment. If you’re reading this and cannot relate, read this: I believe that every human is designed to create and make things for God’s kingdom. I mean, our God is the most creative designer ever. He is our Father and we are all designed to create. Whether it’s art, music, businesses, relationships, community, churches, Instagram captions or stories—every human is wired to create for the Kingdom. When we create the things we are called and positioned to do, we experience freedom.
“ Now, God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish! We don’t play the major role. If we did, we’d probably go around bragging that we’d done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.” Ephesians 2:7-10 MSG
For those on the verge of creating something big, I want to encourage you in this—God is waiting for each one of you to step forward to create new things. Remember, God made you to create. He has already stirred inside of you ways to make use of your gifts and passions. And if you haven’t experienced that already, let me tell you, God is waiting for you to ask and activate your gifts and passions.
Father, I pray for every person facing self-doubt today. May you silence the voices that are lies, and amplify your truth. Give us eyes to see ourselves how you see us. Reveal to us the gifts you have given us, humble our hearts and empower us to say YES to serving you with those gifts. Father, we thank you that you are always enough. You are our strength. In Jesus, name Amen.
by Courtney Leatherwood | Feb 23, 2018 | Relationships, Testimonies |
Striving. It has always been a desire of mine to earn the love, admiration and friendship of others. My mind is often flooded of memories of when I was a child, on the playground, looking cool and athletic so guys would pick me for their teams. As a daughter, I worked hard in school and around the house, so my dad and mom would love me. Thinking back through high school, I strived for the grades to go to my dream school. And it didn’t stop in college.
That’s when I met my first boyfriend. He was a nice guy, but my relationship with him carried a striving for physical beauty and pleasing him in different ways, so he would love me as much as the other college girls. When my outer beauty wasn’t enough, I began to do physically intimate things with him that were far beyond my comfort zone and my values.
The lies in my head usually went something like this:
Courtney, he will love you more if ____________. Fill in the blank.
The more I filled in the blank, the more lost and empty I felt.
This brings tears to my eyes thinking that I was in such a place of doing anything for love. What breaks my heart even more, is the other girls out there, struggling with this burden to earn the love of a man. If that’s you, I’m with you. Here’s the good and bad news. This struggle existed long before you were made. You may have heard the story in Genesis 3.
6 He told the Woman:
You’ll want to please your husband, but he’ll lord it over you.”
17-19 He told the Man: The very ground is cursed because of you; getting food from the ground will be as painful as having babies is for your wife; you’ll be working in pain all your life long (striving to provide). The ground will sprout thorns and weeds, you’ll get your food the hard way, planting and tilling and harvesting, sweating in the fields from dawn to dusk, until you return to that ground yourself, dead and buried; you started out as dirt, you’ll end up dirt.”
Genesis 3:6-19, MSG
What did you see? Sin is introduced to the world, and God gives both Adam and Eve specific consequences because of their sin. Both of these punishments are rooted in striving. For women, you will be under the rule of your husband, striving for his love and pleasing him. For men, he will be striving to provide and laboring for his family in this world.
It’s wild to me that men and women have felt this burden since the beginning.
We all fight the battle of striving for love.
The good news is you don’t have to live in this. Striving for the love of a man here in earth will lead you on a dead end. The first road the have to travel is the deep drive into God’s love for you.
I love what the Lord says in Isaiah 43:1 — He who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.”
He created you. He is waiting for you to step into the journey of receiving his love.
That road is waiting for you, and I’m here to tell you it’s the BEST JOURNEY.
God has worked on my heart so much since college. He has redefined what true love looks like. You, too, can overcome our human desire of striving to be worthy of someone’s love, and instead experience the grace of Jesus which then empowers us to serve and embrace true love. The love of Jesus.
You may be thinking, surely, I have to serve and love my boyfriend/fiancé/husband well, and of course, you can and will! The WORLD says we must work, look good, love well, serve and strive so people will love us back. But the WORD says love is rooted in grace by Jesus. It’s an overflow of the grace we receive, that compels us to extend that and love others.
You don’t belong to this world. You belong to Jesus.
Why? He tells us—“my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:20.
Take a breath and let that sink in. We don’t have to carry the burden of striving for love any longer, because Jesus already took care of that. You’re adopted to the kingdom. Already there. All you do is have to receive it.
We love well not because of a burden, but through the overflow of Jesus’ love we receive. When we know who we are, and how much we are loved by God, our need to strive for a man decreases. if you’re reading this and feel like you’re striving for the love of your friend, boyfriend or husband, release that.
My prayer for you today is to release that burden, surrender that to Jesus. Ask God to redeem your heart and your relationship. Ask him to give you new lenses to love your man well. And ask God to give you an overflow of His love for those special people in your life. This is better than anything you can do on your own. We can only look to God to make us worthy, both worthy of His love and of each other’s love.
by Courtney Leatherwood | Jan 12, 2018 | Life Advice |
A few months ago, I asked God for a word for this upcoming year. My 2017 marked a year of transition—moving across the country, new jobs, new home, new relationship, and more. I’ll be honest, I felt pretty confident walking into my recent season of transition. My heart was full and hungry for more. I felt prepared and ready for game day. What I didn’t realize, was how much change was in store. It wasn’t just a move. It was a new home, new people, and ultimately, a new community. Every person and place that I left behind, was uprooted. I learned quickly that my roots were more established in the places, situations, and relationships, more than the word and truth of God. Crazy humbling.
It really hit me coming into this year. Transition causes the wind to stir you. It challenges you in ways that you may not be prepared for. There were a few times I was rocked, because I didn’t remember the truth of God’s word and promises. So, I asked God to search my heart, and He put the word “ROOTED” on my heart (and all over my journal).
Establish deep roots in the Word of God, to prepare for what is ahead.
For those who are wondering what it means for God to put a “word” on your heart, I see it as a theme that arises from prayers, journaling, worship and conversations, with people who are praying on your behalf. Anytime God repeats himself, you listen. You pay attention.
So, I’m ready to declare this word for 2018. But before I do that, I wanted to share a bit more about what it means—with the hope that you, too, may be encouraged to join me on the journey of rootedness.
Rooted means to establish firmly and deeply. Doesn’t that give you chills? I felt my heart pulsing as I read those words above, and then I had another thought.
What do you think of when you hear rooted? Anyone think of trees? Okay, I hope I’m not the only one! Right now, I can picture large oak trees arching over a driveway, or pine trees standing firm on the side of a beautiful mountain. What’s so beautiful, is that these trees stand firm and upright. And you know why they stand upright? Because they are rooted.
Trees are the most valuable, enduring plants here on earth. I mean, there is no other organism here on earth that lives longer than trees. Most require large amounts of water per day, and take time to grow.
Let’s dive a litter deeper for a minute. Roots breathe moisture and nutrients into the tree for a lifetime, and that means the roots are spread horizontally, fueled by the main taproot. All of the roots together, bring life, growth and wisdom to the tree.
Are we letting God tap into our roots?
He wants to grow our knowledge, love and faith for him. We have to let him tap and be the only fuel for our life. If we allow the spirit and Word to be our source,
His almighty water will grow deep within us.
God is our rootedness. He will hold us upright.
He promises this to us, but we have to first allow His Word to be our roots. (Ephesians 2:11-22)
Do you want to grow? Do you want to flourish?
I sure do! This year, I am expectant and ready to be rooted firmly in His Word. I want to grow. I want to flourish. I want to stand firmly rooted, so that nothing can make be fall, because His spirit inside me is firmly holding me up.
Let’s be firmly planted in the House of the Lord. Let’s flourish in the courts of our God. (Psalm 92:13)
How do we start?
Roots need to be fueled with massive amounts of water, every day and over time. The deeper the roots, the taller the tree grows, and that means our time in the word must grow.
God’s word is a source of eternal encouragement.
Paul encourages us to stand firm and hold fast to the teachings, so that He may give us eternal encouragement. (2 Thessalonians 2:15-16)
This means that God’s word gives us eternal encouragement. It is the only nutrient we need.
Our roots will grow in Him vertically, and in His church horizontally.
Roots spread horizontally as well, to gain other nutrients and supplements. This looks like our earthly relationships and the church. As we stand firm in Him, our roots naturally spread across the ground.
Let’s spread our roots, and supplement our life with people and a church that is also rooted upright in Him. Continue to encourage one another in truth. (Heb 3:13)
So, who’s ready to be rooted? I’d love for you to join me. I don’t want to do it alone. One of the greatest desires of my heart in 2018, is to be rooted.
My prayer for you today, is that God’s Word will fill your hearts and needs as eternal encouragement. May we start building roots today, to prepare for the seasons ahead. May we stand firm, encourage and build up each other in truth.
by Courtney Leatherwood | Dec 13, 2017 | Life Advice |
A part of my role on Team Live Original is to manage our social media. A few weeks ago, a sweet girl sent us a direct message. She asked for someone to write a blog on letting go of your past self and starting fresh with Jesus. My heart leaped as I read the words on the screen.
That was me… That’s my story.
I, too, remember the moment I let go of my past self and tasted grace. It happened in one conversation.
Let’s go back a few years to the last week of my senior year of college.
My mom confronted me about my relationship with my (former) boyfriend, and my college lifestyle with the knowledge that I was most likely not living in the fullness of who God created me to be. So, she challenged me with one question.
Her question moved me to tears and at that moment I realized my desperate need for Jesus.
The conversation that followed her question, sharing with them some of my poor decisions in college, was one of the hardest conversations I ever had with my parents. (I may share more details at a later time).
Knowing the pain of the information that I was sharing, I expected the worst response from my parents. I expected a punishment.
Assuming the worst, my mind wandered down the rabbit hole of dropping out of college, living at home, and a completely broken relationship with them. My mind was flooded with negative thoughts and I was terrified for my future. But the story turned.
My father responded “Courtney, it’s okay. I love you.”
Tears followed at the release those gentle words of my father. Hearing those words from my dad was like hearing from my Heavenly Father and the moment I experienced true GRACE. Undeserved, beautiful and free grace.
One conversation changed everything. In a matter of moments, I came out of the darkness and into the light. My past no longer mattered. The grace of the Jesus was living and powerful.
Our heavenly father says His grace is sufficient for us (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). It’s incredible that when we feel so weak, His grace is enough. The grace I received that day pushed me onto a path of redemption
Out of the darkness I could now see a fresh start with Jesus. Catching glimpses of what my life could looked like living in the fullness and strength of Jesus. He had so much more in store for me!
I’m here to tell you that GOD can change you in a moment.
The day following the conversation with my parents, were my first steps onto the path of holiness. My heart had changed in an instant and I posessed a strong desire to seek a fresh relationship with Jesus.
There’s this Word in Galatians 5 that calls us to be free. We have to choose to step into that freedom and walk by the spirit (Galatians 5:16). It’s the promise that turns us from broken to redeemed, impure to pure of heart, shameful to joyful, anxious to peaceful, and so much more.
My desire for a pure heart pushed me towards the Word and Worship. It was no longer about finding my identity in a man, rather finding my beauty in holiness. When we pursue a relationship with God, we put on a new self and seek to become like Him (Eh 4:24). I believe this is true!
The path to holiness is a journey, it only takes one day and one decision to step forward to redemption The further down the path that you go, the more that you will be filled with our Father’s joy and gladness.
You too can have a fresh start with Jesus.
Maybe you’re reading this and looking for a fresh start with Jesus. Now let me tell you, this is a journey, one that I am still on today. Your journey may look different than mine, but it takes a daily “yes” to seeking your identity and healing in God alone.
Here’s are a few starting points:
- Dive into the Word
- Spend time alone with Jesus
- Speak out lies
- Cover yourself with the truth of the word.
- Ask friends to hold you accountable and speak life into you on your fresh start
