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The Value of Hard Seasons

The Value of Hard Seasons

There may have been a season in your life that turned out so differently than you dreamed, but it doesn’t mean that they were less fruitful or meaningful than the seasons that went according to plan. Sometimes, the most impactful seasons in our lives are the raw ones where all we have is all we are, laid before God.

There is so much value in setting aside time each day, to study God’s word and hear from Him. But God doesn’t just meet with us when our Bible is open with our favorite coffee in hand. Sometimes, He meets with us when we are on the floor in the bathroom and we feel like we just can’t go on, or when we are sick and crying out for strength to make it through another day or another hard conversation. If we allow it, hard times remind us that God is in control and we are not – no matter how hard we try to manage our family, health, life and dreams. When tragedy and hurt suddenly interrupt our plans, we begin to see that God is sovereign and merciful even in our pain. We can see that through our circumstances, God has never changed or wavered who He is and He is constant.

Suffering also reminds us this world is not our home and that we were meant for so much more. God cares too much about our eternal happiness to get bogged down in this earthly mindset, and He often uses suffering to awaken our hearts to eternity. When you walk through difficulties, it reminds us to slow down and remember why we are here. Going through a painful season has a way of loosening our grip on this world and tightening our grip on Christ and His word. Trials can open our eyes to the world around us and the suffering people are walking through. Suffering can cause compassion and a tenderness towards people and it can bring a humility as we realize just how great our need is for Jesus.

So even though it hurts, there is hope and growth in the hard seasons of life. God always uses everything for our good and His glory, if only we would let Him.

I Never Measure Up

I Never Measure Up

Do you ever feel as if you never measure up? Not pretty enough. Not strong enough. Not rich enough. Not smart enough. Not successful enough. Don’t have your life put together. Oh, how I feel that way at times – as if everything I do will never be enough to satisfy this culture that bluntly demands perfection and instant results. I feel as if I always have people telling me what I’m doing doesn’t matter, that I’m not doing enough or that I should keep trying harder even when I know I’m giving my all. It’s in the midst of these hard days that God gently reminds me that when I spend more time in the world than His Word, I will always feel as if I don’t measure up. The world tells me that I need to be flawless, successful and beautiful to be accepted. God’s Word tells me to come to Him with my ugly and brokenness, He wants me even at my worst and He loves me just the way I am. His Word tells me to stay humble before Him and the more I grow in Him, the more He will grow a beauty inside me that is timeless. The world makes it about us, but God’s Word shifts our perspective from ourselves to Christ and the bigger picture of eternity.

It is when I listen to the whisper and prompting of God over the shouts and demands of this world, that I begin to realize I don’t have to measure up. He isn’t looking at the size of my house, how perfect my family appears, the number of followers I have on social media or if I’m on top of the latest fashion trends. He is saying come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest – true rest from the pressures of perfection from the One who truly is perfect. What a humble heart, for Christ to come down to care about me when He is so big and great and I feel so small. But to Him, I’m not small. I am His daughter, His workmanship, created uniquely in His sight to enjoy a relationship with Him and make Him known. He is not asking me to look perfect and do no wrongs. He is asking me to rest in His perfect hands, and let Him lead my heart in His truth. That’s what the gospel is – imperfect people who find their all in a perfect God.

When I sit before God with my Bible open to hear from Him, there is a rest that is greater than the noise. It becomes a healing balm to my heart and gives a joy that cannot be crushed by the messes in my life. I have to choose to listen to the Word of God over what the world says about me. I have to silence the world’s shouts and listen to the royal whisper. It’s there in that place that I will always measure up and come out walking lighter then when I came in. He sees into the depths of my soul and loves me just the same. In Him, I have no demands for perfection to measure up to and to discourage me. I have a love that fulfills me. He is the soothing song that sings over my heart, and reminds me to stop striving and start thriving in His grace, love and truth. It’s in His love that we find purpose and it’s in a relationship with Jesus Christ that we find we will always measure up.

 

I Never Measure Up

God’s Not Done with You Yet

Sometimes in life, we experience brokenness that impacts us so greatly, we feel as if we are finished. The life we once dreamed about is gone, and now our life is never going to come close to all we desired. It may be a result of a physical struggle, an emotional battle or a change in your life that you never saw coming, and now you find yourself discouraged and struggling to make sense of where you are right now.

I experienced a life-changing brokenness when I least expected it. I was happily married to a handsome man who was my first love, first hand hold and my beloved husband. We had three little baby boys together, and I felt like I was living out my dream of being a wife and a mother. Then one day, I kissed my husband goodbye and told him I loved him as he was leaving for work, only to receive a phone call several hours later that my healthy, 30-year-old husband suddenly died as his heart went out of rhythm. I remember so clearly sitting there in that hospital hallway, trying my best to grasp the magnitude of the devastating news that had been given to me. But in a way that was beyond my own strength, I found myself saying, “The Lord gives and takes away, He is so good.” I instantly became a widow at the age of 25, with three precious boys under the age of three, walking a road I could have never imagined. My dreams and my reality shifted in a moment, taking the breath out of me. I found myself asking God to give me the strength to make it minute by minute, even when I couldn’t see the road He had in front of me. As I waited, I held on with everything I had to the hope that God was greater than my grief.

In the months following my husband’s death, I often found myself in the middle of night trying to soothe my newborn baby, as I claimed the hope from God’s word over my family – but it wasn’t easy by any means. I still remember the way my tears of brokenness and grief would fall on his sweet little cheeks. Honestly, there were moments when I felt finished, that life as the happy full of life woman I used to be was gone forever. How could I dream again, when the person who was in those dreams was gone? I remember crying out to God one night saying, God what do you have for me? How can I still have life ahead of me after this? Jesus whispered in my heart, “Hold on, there is joy ahead. I am not finished with you yet.” As I began to press into the truth of God’s word and His mighty promises of Hope, He began to heal my broken heart through His precious presence, and showed me even though I didn’t understand it, He was using this pain for His purpose, if I would just hold on.

I watched as God started to do what He promised. He kept writing my story – not putting me to the side saying you are finished, but saying “You are part of a story that is bigger than yourself and I will bring it to pass, just keep obeying me.” He cared so much for me and precious little fatherless boys, and He kept writing our story with an overwhelming amount of grace. He heard our cries for Him and He truly became enough for us. It was not Jesus plus something, but just Jesus. He brought us through the places of being so worn out from grief to a place of life and hope. He began to do a good work in me.

I started a new chapter in my life, one filled with healing. I began to see in very real ways that God was not done with my family yet, and I continued to hold on to that truth. I decided that I could either stay treading in the waters of tragedy, or I could start swimming for the shore of triumph. And it was in that time that I stopped searching for the WHY and started looking for the WHAT that God had for me here. The “WHAT do you want me to do with this?” question became me plea to God to use this story that I never asked for to bring Him glory, because it was too painful to be wasted. It was during that shift in perspective that God began opening doors to encourage others who felt like God was done with them, and that their stories were over because of the pain they were drowning in.

As I was reaching out to one family in particular, another widower with two small children was encouraging the same family with the truth of God’s word. God started to show me His plan, and He began writing a new chapter in my life. Here was another person who could have been consumed by their circumstances, but was choosing life even when faced with the tragedy of death. God began to write a love story that was precious and filled with much joy – an answer to prayers I hadn’t even prayed, but a physical example of God being a great Author, and one who writes the best stories if only we surrender to Him. It may not be a story we imagined, but it will be one that shows He is always at work, even when we don’t see or feel it.

Two families marked by pain, 5 children, all with one parent in heaven and one on earth. Their stories didn’t stop at pain, but instead were joined together when sorrow and joy collided. As a result, the Brooker Bunch was formed. We still have chapters in our lives marked with sorrow and hardship, but we also have them penned in grace and mercy. God didn’t give up on us when we’re at our lowest. He had a purpose for our lives and we had to trust when we couldn’t see.

If you are reading this right now, you are living and breathing. That means that God has a purpose for YOU, and your story is still being written. God is not done with you. Your life is not over, and God sees and cares about all you are facing – even the hidden things. Your story is not complete, so don’t give up when it’s only half written. I remember so many times, my boys would ask me why they couldn’t go to heaven right then. I would look them in their bright blue eyes and tell them, “Jesus isn’t finished with you yet.” God’s word tells us to run this race with endurance and to keep our eyes and hope fixed on Jesus the whole way.  The same is true of you and me. God is not through with YOU. He has a plan and it is good. Keep taking the next breath and believing in His truth that gives life to your weary heart. Keep holding onto hope even when it hurts. Keep trusting that He is at work behind the scenes in your life, even when you can’t see or feel it. His stories are always good – even when they are not always easy or comfortable. He is the good God, and the best story writer. You will see His goodness in the land of the living, because He is the life-giver. God’s not done with you yet.