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Have you ever loved doing something? Where when you do it, deep down you know that yes, this is what you were created to do. You feel alive. You feel cozy, like you’re at home—completely in your element. Not that it’s perfect. No, not even close. You still may have a lot to learn, a lot to grow in, but that’s ok. You know that you are walking in step with the talents, or the gift that the Lord has given you. It definitely has hard parts—it may not come easy, but it’s a joy, it’s worth it- to push through and do it.

That’s how I feel about writing. I feel completely at home with my fingers tap-tapping on the keyboard, or my fingers wrapped around my pen, creating phrases and sentences with a pen in my worn-out journal. It’s here that I process, that I pour my heart out on paper. God speaks to me here. I can be totally real and completely me. No filter. I can make mistakes and it can be messy, but that’s all a part of the process. And the most amazing thing is that I’ve seen God use my words to draw people closer to Himself. To show more of who He is, to bring glory to His awesome name. My passion and His praise meet.

But what happens when you’ve been in a draught- for months? When you don’t want to do the very thing that made you feel alive? It’s so easy to make excuses, to put everything else above it- taking care of Kinsley, laundry, cleaning, cooking, hanging out with friends and family, discipling, crafting, planning parties, and the list goes on. I love all those things. Well. No. Let’s be real. I do not love cleaning the toilets, but I do love having a clean toilet! Those are all good things, and roles and responsibilities I have.

“So is this.” The Lord whispers to my heart.

I’ve pushed aside writing for so long. I always just made excuses or thought it wasn’t as important or that maybe it just wasn’t the right time. And maybe it wasn’t. Maybe the Lord had to really show things to me in the wilderness.

However, as I was reading God’s word this week and praying, I was naming the fears I have. (And man, the list is long! Ugh.) And one of the fears that appeared in my workbook was writing.

Not being a good writer.

Not being able to encourage people.

Being fluffy or boring.

Just being noise- who needs another blogger?

To sound prideful or like I had it all together.

Or even worst, being completely vulnerable and raw and letting people truly know me- my weaknesses, sins, struggles, ugly parts.

My fear has stopped me from doing the very thing that God has called me to do. And yes, I think for a season I needed to take a break. I needed God to do His work in me so my writing could be an outpouring of Him, and not just words.

But now is the time. I need to surrender my fears, to let them go, and enjoy the “freefall”, as Rebekah Lyons says. Freefall into His arms. Into His grace.

I’m nervous writing even now. It’s scary- to put yourself out there. To risk failure. But it’s worth it. And more importantly it’s drawing me closer to my Savior. To the Mighty One. It doesn’t have to be perfect. I can fail, because God has me. He holds my right hand. He is simply pleased that I am walking in obedience to Him- shaky and all.

The word “brave” and “courage” have been dancing around in my head ever since I read Annie Down’s book “Let’s All Be Brave”. In the book, she encourages us to be brave- to step out and have faith. And everyone’s brave is different, and I’m finding that each day holds a new brave that I need to walk in. Some days my brave is simply getting out of bed. Other days it’s running errands with Kinsley. Daily tasks can seem so big sometimes. During this season, it’s writing, and preparing my heart to move across the ocean, and being a mom, and discipling four incredible college girls.

What’s your brave? What do you feel like God is stirring in your heart? What have you been fearful of? Made excuses for?

So here it goes. A new season. A season of bravery. (Hopefully.) A season of clinging to the Lord because the truth is, I am desperate for Him. I want to be used by Him. But more importantly, I want to follow Him each day—whatever that looks like. To follow so closely to my Rabbi, that I’m covered by the dust of His feet.

Isaiah 41:10 NLT “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.”

Alyssa Bethke

Author Alyssa Bethke

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Join the discussion 5 Comments

  • Jordan Mahoney says:

    This is exactly what I have been praying over for about 2 weeks now. I had started a blog about a year ago (yes, another blogger haha) and posted a few things & then took a break for about a year. God was putting some things on my heart & so I took a stab at it again. After I did, I decided I would use Instagram as a “marketing tool” so people could view this blog. My prayer for it before starting, was that it would minister to young women, & draw them closer to the Lord. I had a friend share the link to my blog & it was as if the flood gates opened. I was thrilled, but at the same time I was scared. I had an underlying fear that now even more people would see this raw, vulnerable, messy side of me. It wasn’t the small group of people I knew read my blog. At this point, it was people all over the US. I have been letting that fear creep in & I haven’t posted because of it. Thank you SO MUCH for your encouragement to be brave & overcome those fears!! I needed to read this today!!!

  • Brianna Jones says:

    WOW! This is absolutely breath taking and so real. I’ve been struggling with a lot of fears and insecurities in the things God has called me to and just reading this helps me to realize that He is good, He is faithful & i’m not alone. I’m running from the very thing I never thought I could, thank you ?

  • Lydia Proffitt says:

    Absolutely loved this post. Mostly because I feel like it was completely directed towards me! I love writing and for a while thought about pursuing it as a career. My sophomore year of high school I actually wrote a novel. Now as a senior, I am shaping it up so it can serve as my senior project. A few people have read it, but I mostly keep it hidden just for myself because I am so scared of what others will think. It seems silly to many and like a waste of time, but I enjoyed doing it and love the words because in the story God is the hero just like in my own life. Thank you so much for writing this–just the words I needed to read!

  • Kendra Smith says:

    What about when you don’t think you will ever find your thing? Your calling? I’m a junior in high school and have always considered myself a "Jack of all trades, master of none." I have all kinds of hobbies, especially anything creative, acting, writing, art, etc., but have never found the one I love or I’m really good at. I’m just in the middle with everything.

    • brooke bussie says:

      Hello Kendra,
      If you would allow me I would love to share with you some of the things God has shown me pertaining to our calling. It’s not exactly a formula but of course pray and also ask God that whatever breaks His heart that it will break yours as well. Your calling will always bring glory and honor to Him and will actually have very little to do with you, but it will be worth it for His kingdom. Lastly just do His will, love Him with all of our heart, love people, always be ready to do a good work, praise Him, do not gossip, etc….. the little things lead to the big things. Mainly fall more in Love with Jesus more and more, you will see everything fall into place.

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