Not that long ago, my life looked anything but godly. I spent my college years like a walking stereotype: the semi-goody-two-shoes Christian girl who goes to college, joins a sorority, and turns into a party girl.

I have quite a few things in my past I’m not proud of. I made choices that caused me and others a lot of pain and heartbreak, and I made mistakes I sometimes wish I could undo.

You’re not reading a blog by a gal who has done it all right. In fact, you’re reading a blog by a gal whose past should disqualify her from writing about God at all.

For years after, I lived in shame.

I felt like if anyone knew my mistakes, they would write me off. When I compared my past to others’, I felt like mine was so much worse. And when I slipped back into old habits, I beat myself up for days.

If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone. In all the hiding, and sometimes self-hatred, it’s easy to start believing that God couldn’t redeem any of it. Then it becomes even easier to believe that where you are right now is a direct result of what you’ve done.

But while shame threatens to steal your past, it does not get the final say in your story.

Romans 8:1 reminds us what is true: “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”

In Christ, you are free from having to hide in shame.

In Christ, you are also free from God’s judgment.

He took on our sins—past, present, and future—so we can have a relationship with God that never ends (Romans 5). We don’t have to be afraid of God; we get to be close to him.

While we can know in our heads that this is what the Bible says, it feels more challenging to believe in our hearts that it’s true. So if we find ourselves stuck in shame or believing we have to earn the blessings we long for, where do we go from here?

We turn to what’s true. We open our Bibles and find out what God says about the lies we believe. I’ve found three simple steps to do this:

1. Acknowledge what is a lie. If it contradicts God’s Word, it’s not true. Sometimes we need a friend to remind us of this, so send the text or make the phone call, and ask someone you trust if you’re believing a lie.

2. Replace the lie with what the Bible says is true. (And there’s no shame in Googling to find a verse if you don’t know where to start looking.)

3. Repeat the truth until it feels real. Which sometimes feels crazy, but eventually it sticks. And then the next time the lie creeps back in, the truth more quickly comes to mind.

If you start there, I think you’ll find when the enemy whispers in your ear that this is all your fault or you’ve missed it or it’s too late, you can tell him and yourself the truth:

God’s goodness does not change based on your decisions.

He is sovereign (Proverbs 16:9; Colossians 1:17).

He loves to redeem His people’s pasts and mistakes (Ephesians 1:7-9).

It’s the crazy, doesn’t make sense, upside-down grace of an empty grave that turns the most broken things into beautiful ones. I’m in awe that the most messed-up parts of our stories can actually be used to give God even an ounce of glory.

No matter how bad, shocking, or gross your past or current sin seems, God loves you too much to leave you feeling shame. When you surrender your life to Jesus, there is no more room for shame (Romans 8:28). It does not belong, and you can live free.

He provides a way out for every mistake and every intentional wrong if we confess and repent of our sin (1 John 1:8-9).

When we run to Jesus and put our faith in him, he provides a place for us. A place where we are no longer the guilty ones but the righteous ones because of his righteousness. A place where we are safe from the consequences of sin and death.

Friend, this is the best news. Regardless of your past mistakes, Jesus offers a refuge. He has prepared a place (John 14:1-3). There is no wrong you have done that cannot be forgiven. He is safe. All you have to do is run to him. He is closer than you think.

If we were sitting across the table from each other at a coffee shop, I’d tell you all about my college years: all the things I thought I’d never be able to say out loud, much less say without feeling ashamed. I’d recall how many times I thought I had messed up too much for God to love me.

Then I’d tell you about the small ways Jesus pursued my heart until he eventually got louder than I could ignore. I’d pull out my first journal with the pink flowers on it, the one that is tearstained and well-worn. I’d show you how he radically changed my life between my junior and senior years of college.

I might get a little teary as I reflect on all he has done to rescue me from myself, and how he continues to rescue me now, even years later. And then I’d look you in the eye and say, “He can do the same for you.”

God takes messed up people and accomplishes his purposes through them anyway.

So here is my challenge as we end this: Say the thing you are afraid to say out loud. To God, to a friend, or to a counselor. Say it aloud because that’s not who you are anymore.

When you live like you’ve been redeemed, living in the light and inviting others to do the same gets a whole lot easier. The enemy knows you’re dangerous to him if you’re no longer in the dark. And you, my friend, were made to bring light.

Meghan Ryan Asbury is an author and speaker who is passionate about helping people find and live out their God-given callings. She’s worked in ministry both on college campuses and internationally as well as with Proverbs 31 Ministries. Her first book, You Are Not Behind: Building a Life You Love Without Having Everything You Want, releases in September 2024. When she’s not surrounded by friends, you can usually find her reading a book or doing something outdoors. A Florida beach girl born and raised, she and her husband currently live in Nashville, Tennessee. You can connect with her on Instagram @meghanryanasbury and at alwaysmeghan.com.