agape

I will myself to always love you.
I make a conscious choice to love you at your worst.
I choose to love you when you hurt me.
I resolve to love the unlovable.
In your darkest hour, I will love you still.
I have closed every door of escape, and I choose you every time.
I said no to every temptation, so that you have every part of me.
I choose to give you my life, even before you choose me.
I will always love you, have always loved you, and can never will myself otherwise.

This is agape love. It’s the nature and essence of what agape portrays to you. Agape love is not just a word defined, it is alive and moving, not afraid of the tough times. It is fierce. This is the love of Jesus that constantly keeps me hemmed in. It’s the love I do not deserve. It’s a love that because of my human make up, I’ll never fully understand. It’s what keeps me going in my darkest of moments, when all I wish is to hide. It’s the love that called to me when I was least deserving of it. It’s the love that calls to me now, when I least deserve it. It is a love that grips my very most inner being and makes me crumble when I need to crumble—and then puts me back together in a way I could have never imagined, nor had the strength to comprehend.

Yet in one moment, this love strengthens me, reassures me, corrects my path, and carries me into the next steps of life. This agape love is not dictated by feelings or emotions. This agape love has proven to me time and time again, that the only way to love as it loves me, is to choose this love regardless of what serves me and my desires. My desires to be seen, to be understood, to get my point across, to be proven right, or to come out on top. This love is only by willful choice. It is selfless. It is quiet and unseen. It is a choice to put others first, so that they may experience this love too. It comes only by His Holy Spirit in you—teaching you, guiding you, spending time with you. It is ONLY by this agape love, that one truly is introduced to the true nature of Jesus. Because HE IS agape love. It is His very nature and being. He knows no other way. He chooses no other way. To think that this Jesus love is just a feeling, is to be deceived. The feeling of love, is a very shallow love. But my Jesus loves when the feelings are sinful and against Him. This love is untouchable by feelings, because He knew our feelings would constantly wave back and forth. Feelings have no power over this love. But the more I choose Him, the more I choose His ways, the more I seek His smile and embrace throughout my every day, the more I choose to live to love Him, the more I realize that I no longer house a wave of emotions. I have the peace of a calm river. Always moving forward, never stagnant or boring, powerful and life giving. This love is waiting for you right this very moment.

As you read each word, it has you on His mind. He’s constantly jealous for you, because He desires to show you this love. It comes only by Him, so no need to look anywhere else. He’s calling your name, sister. You need only to turn your gaze to Him, and His unconditional, unmerited, undeserving, love is ready to embrace you.