It’s something I longed for my whole life. Something I craved. Something I was created for.
To be loved. To be loved well. To be loved unconditionally.
Unconditionally. That’s what I was after. I’ve tasted love my whole life. I never went without shelter or food, and I knew someone was always looking out for me. Yet, there I was, still so empty. My soul was starved. My heart ached to be at home, to feel good enough to be loved—just as I was, no strings attached, no performance needed. I looked everywhere for this kind of love. To family and friends first, and as I got older, I leaned into relationships, to guys. Much to my surprise, even a boyfriend couldn’t help me feel whole. If anything, I questioned who I was even more. I questioned my worth, my value. Was I just a body to be used? A heart to break? Oh no, sweet friend, I was not. But oh, did I believe that lie, and here’s the thing about lies—if you don’t drown them out with truth, God’s truth, they will become your reality, your truth.
I so wish I would’ve known that at the time…but I didn’t. I didn’t know God’s truth. I didn’t know that He sacrificed it all for me, just as I was. The imperfect me that failed Him daily. The one that was so different on Monday than I was on Sunday at church, with my arms raised high singing His name. He saw me at my worst, and still chose to give me His very best, His son, Jesus. I didn’t know, but oh, He did. He kept pursuing my rock-hard heart. He kept knocking down the walls I built. He saw past my performance, he saw my imperfections. And instead of shaming me, as I assumed He would, He embraced me. He welcomed me. He said YOU ARE MINE. Not because of who you are or aren’t, but because I have chosen you. Messy pieces and all. Brokenness and all. Emptiness and all.
When I looked in the mirror, I saw imperfections. I saw worthlessness. I saw the shell of someone who would never know love, not in its entirety, anyways. I thought it wasn’t in the cards for me, that I somehow missed out on whatever it took to be good enough for love. But here’s the thing—GOD NEVER SAW THAT. He saw his child. He saw me empty, and He so longed to fill those spaces. He saw me broken, and so wanted to piece me back together, in a more beautiful wholeness than I could ever imagine. He saw me longing, longing for a love that only He was able to fill. And finally, He saw me willing, willing to let Him. Willing to trust Him. Willing to admit that I COULDN’T DO THIS ALONE ANYMORE. And at last, He saw me right where He dreamed I’d be one day, saying yes to Him. Allowing Him to take over my life, to see me as I truly was—the broken me that I so desperately tried to hide. And you know what? HE LOVED ME. Wholly. Unconditionally. Beautifully.
This love wasn’t just made for me. It was made for YOU. The you that is reading this right now. Not just the you two years ago, when you felt like you “had it all together.” Not the you 6 months from now, when you feel like you can finally conquer whatever it is you’re battling. No, sweet friend, His love isn’t like the others you’ve known. He wants you just as you are, today. Brokenness and all. Anger and all. Emptiness and all. He will fix the broken. He will give you joy. And that emptiness? Oh, how it will be filled. Let Him in today. Let Him help you heal. You don’t have to do this alone. You were created to be loved. To be loved well. To be loved unconditionally. Let him love you. I promise, it’s worth it. You will never be the same.