Sometimes in life, we experience brokenness that impacts us so greatly, we feel as if we are finished. The life we once dreamed about is gone, and now our life is never going to come close to all we desired. It may be a result of a physical struggle, an emotional battle or a change in your life that you never saw coming, and now you find yourself discouraged and struggling to make sense of where you are right now.
I experienced a life-changing brokenness when I least expected it. I was happily married to a handsome man who was my first love, first hand hold and my beloved husband. We had three little baby boys together, and I felt like I was living out my dream of being a wife and a mother. Then one day, I kissed my husband goodbye and told him I loved him as he was leaving for work, only to receive a phone call several hours later that my healthy, 30-year-old husband suddenly died as his heart went out of rhythm. I remember so clearly sitting there in that hospital hallway, trying my best to grasp the magnitude of the devastating news that had been given to me. But in a way that was beyond my own strength, I found myself saying, “The Lord gives and takes away, He is so good.” I instantly became a widow at the age of 25, with three precious boys under the age of three, walking a road I could have never imagined. My dreams and my reality shifted in a moment, taking the breath out of me. I found myself asking God to give me the strength to make it minute by minute, even when I couldn’t see the road He had in front of me. As I waited, I held on with everything I had to the hope that God was greater than my grief.
In the months following my husband’s death, I often found myself in the middle of night trying to soothe my newborn baby, as I claimed the hope from God’s word over my family – but it wasn’t easy by any means. I still remember the way my tears of brokenness and grief would fall on his sweet little cheeks. Honestly, there were moments when I felt finished, that life as the happy full of life woman I used to be was gone forever. How could I dream again, when the person who was in those dreams was gone? I remember crying out to God one night saying, God what do you have for me? How can I still have life ahead of me after this? Jesus whispered in my heart, “Hold on, there is joy ahead. I am not finished with you yet.” As I began to press into the truth of God’s word and His mighty promises of Hope, He began to heal my broken heart through His precious presence, and showed me even though I didn’t understand it, He was using this pain for His purpose, if I would just hold on.
I watched as God started to do what He promised. He kept writing my story – not putting me to the side saying you are finished, but saying “You are part of a story that is bigger than yourself and I will bring it to pass, just keep obeying me.” He cared so much for me and precious little fatherless boys, and He kept writing our story with an overwhelming amount of grace. He heard our cries for Him and He truly became enough for us. It was not Jesus plus something, but just Jesus. He brought us through the places of being so worn out from grief to a place of life and hope. He began to do a good work in me.
I started a new chapter in my life, one filled with healing. I began to see in very real ways that God was not done with my family yet, and I continued to hold on to that truth. I decided that I could either stay treading in the waters of tragedy, or I could start swimming for the shore of triumph. And it was in that time that I stopped searching for the WHY and started looking for the WHAT that God had for me here. The “WHAT do you want me to do with this?” question became me plea to God to use this story that I never asked for to bring Him glory, because it was too painful to be wasted. It was during that shift in perspective that God began opening doors to encourage others who felt like God was done with them, and that their stories were over because of the pain they were drowning in.
As I was reaching out to one family in particular, another widower with two small children was encouraging the same family with the truth of God’s word. God started to show me His plan, and He began writing a new chapter in my life. Here was another person who could have been consumed by their circumstances, but was choosing life even when faced with the tragedy of death. God began to write a love story that was precious and filled with much joy – an answer to prayers I hadn’t even prayed, but a physical example of God being a great Author, and one who writes the best stories if only we surrender to Him. It may not be a story we imagined, but it will be one that shows He is always at work, even when we don’t see or feel it.
Two families marked by pain, 5 children, all with one parent in heaven and one on earth. Their stories didn’t stop at pain, but instead were joined together when sorrow and joy collided. As a result, the Brooker Bunch was formed. We still have chapters in our lives marked with sorrow and hardship, but we also have them penned in grace and mercy. God didn’t give up on us when we’re at our lowest. He had a purpose for our lives and we had to trust when we couldn’t see.
If you are reading this right now, you are living and breathing. That means that God has a purpose for YOU, and your story is still being written. God is not done with you. Your life is not over, and God sees and cares about all you are facing – even the hidden things. Your story is not complete, so don’t give up when it’s only half written. I remember so many times, my boys would ask me why they couldn’t go to heaven right then. I would look them in their bright blue eyes and tell them, “Jesus isn’t finished with you yet.” God’s word tells us to run this race with endurance and to keep our eyes and hope fixed on Jesus the whole way. The same is true of you and me. God is not through with YOU. He has a plan and it is good. Keep taking the next breath and believing in His truth that gives life to your weary heart. Keep holding onto hope even when it hurts. Keep trusting that He is at work behind the scenes in your life, even when you can’t see or feel it. His stories are always good – even when they are not always easy or comfortable. He is the good God, and the best story writer. You will see His goodness in the land of the living, because He is the life-giver. God’s not done with you yet.
Wow, this is an incredible lesson from an incredible woman! I’m amazed at the strength and the faith she had. This was very powerful and spoke to me deeply, thank you.
What an amazing story, my name is Lawrence. I can’t wait to see how God is going to use you. He’s truly giving you the strength and guidance to lead alot of people. Thru any hardship they may be going thru. Keep on trucking. And may God continue his work in and thru you
❤️Amen❤️?✝️
So beautiful, so true, and so needed…thank you for speaking the truth of the Savior in such a poignant and practical way Brittany. God continues to use you in mighty and beautiful ways.
Wow!!! I can’t tell you how much I needed to read this today. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It is so sad but so beautiful and comforting at the same time. I have to constantly remind myself to really trust God even when I dont understand. It is so easy to trust Him when things are good. I want to learn to fully surrender to Him and let Him be enough for me. I really dont know what all He is doing behind the scenes but I really believe He is trying to teach me to trust Him. He loves me so much more than I could possibly imagine. I know He wants me to accept that I have to get uncomfortable so He can really do His work in me.
Thats where I am at right now. I want Him to clearly show me and even tell me what im supposed to do and He wants me to wait and trust Him fully. He wants to see my faith. Help me God cause I’m really struggling with this and You already know that.
I know that God has big plans for my life and I gotta keep believing that even when I have no idea what He is doing. This was a perfect message for me. Thanks so much Brittany for sharing your story and allowing God to speak through you. This has been one of the VERY BEST blogs for my life and my heart today. God is good.
Thank you Live Original for using her today and for every single one of these blogs. God bless you guys and God bless you Sadie.
Oh wow… You have so much strength, trust in God, and love for Him and others that it is truly inspiring. You went through a hardship so heartbreaking that you could’ve easily given up, but you believed God still had a purpose for you and your children, and He wasn’t finished with your family yet!! It just goes to show if we truly give our all in God and trust He is the way, the truth, and the light, He will bless us far more than we could’ve ever imagined! God bless you!!!!
Hi, my husband just died over a month ago due to vehicular accident. He’s just 29. I don’t know how to move on from this. I want to take my life but I couldn’t. I’m keeping myself alive for my two kids, one is 10-month-old and the other is 3-year-old. Hope I’m as strong as you are. I feel like dying everyday.
Praying for you,Herchel! I just read this and my heart goes out to you! I don’t know where you are, but I can pray. Hugs to you and your family from Anne in Illinois!
Thank you so much for these words! For me they are a great blessing because of the focus: Jesus is not done yet and he does not stop writing stories of love and hope. To hear it out of your mouth I am able to believe, better to start believing, this truth! Be blessed!
I certainly would like for God to be me that hope. I lost my partner of three years 3 and. Half months ago. Its an overwhelming pain having to deal with this pain alone and not having someone to understand this pain. All they say is you need to move on. Like if it is that easy.
Hi Anne,
It’s 6 in the morning and normally I’m still asleep but this morning God had a reason for me to wake up and happen upon your blog via Instagram. Your story gives even more hope to me during a time that at times could seem hopeless. My husband and I have three beautiful children our third, Hunter has disabilities that came on at birth 18 months ago. He’s been in and out of the hospital and is currently in now. Life as we knew it was turned upside down for all of us. The Lord has sustained us over this time and will continue too.
We’re praying and believing for his healing. He’s currently trached and on a ventilator. Drs. say he’ll never get off of it but we believe God’s report. We will see His goodness in the land of the living!
If you’d like to follow our sons story on Facebook. Type in the search bar: pray for Hunter Bryant (his profile pic is a head shot of him with a green bay packer beanie)
Blessings, Susanna Bryant
Sorry I was confused. You’re not Anne. You are Brittany.?
PLEASE pray for me..my heart is so shattered..pray for my 4 children..please..i feel like I’m dying inside..Help me Jesus to rise above this horrific pain..