by Ayana Symone | Jul 29, 2021 | Life Advice, Testimonies
If you’re anything like me, you have full-blown, over-coffee conversations with yourself in your head all the time. During the day when you’re trying to work, during the night when you should be sleeping. All the time. 24/7. At 100 MPH speed.
Your conversations range from scrutinizing your appearance, criticizing your work ethic, nitpicking what you say in every conversation, thinking about what’s due tomorrow, trashing the very thing most people compliment you on and so on and so forth until you’ve nearly driven yourself mad.
If you have no idea what I’m talking about, yes, it feels just as miserable as it looks in writing.
But, for those of you who can relate, I’m writing this blog post for you.
Because in case you’ve forgotten, your casual, absentminded way of constantly tearing yourself down in your mind is not okay. It’s not healthy, it’s not humble, and it’s not holy either. The truth is that the way we talk to ourselves matter—not just because we’re the only ones worthy enough to have an intelligent conversation with ourselves every once in a while (kidding!), but because while we can tune out the world any time we want to, we actually have to live with the voice in our heads. And, whatever we tell ourselves is what we hear, and what we hear has a pretty strong impact on how we live.
At a very young age, my bible-believing, Jesus-freak grandmother taught me that there is power in our words. And whenever something offensive would slip from me, she’d always give me the same stern warning I’ll never forget:
“Watch your mouth!”
(And, just by taking a look at my career choice as a writer, I suppose I took her pretty seriously, as I try to use every word with purpose.)
But now that I’m older, I’ve realized that my mouth is not the only thing that needs monitoring. As I’ve grown to be a creative over-thinker as much as I’ve become a creative writer, I’m warning myself to watch the words that I let in and out of another part of myself:
My mind.
Which leads me to introduce the topic of today’s post…
Today, we’re talking about self-talk.
And if there’s anyone here today that’s got to get a whole lot better at being kinder in the area of self-talk, I will be the first to admit that it’s me.
I can talk myself into feeling less than.
I can talk myself into an anxiety attack.
I can talk myself into quitting, into getting bitter, into making a bad decision.
I can talk myself into anything.
And it all happens in my mind.
And, the filthy bickering you yap at yourself all day long happens in your mind too, which is why I’ve got to warn us all on the blog today:
In the same way I was taught to watch my mouth, we’ve all got to watch our minds too.
Why?
Because our voice lives there. And, if we have no choice but to live with it, we better make sure that voice is aligned with one much more meaningful than our own.
And, I’ve got great news today:
There is another voice.
And unlike our own, this voice holds the truth about ourselves and about our situation.
And the best part?
It’s the only voice that matters.
This voice overrides the lies you’ve believed, the degrading comments you’ve accepted over time, the shame you’ve condemned yourself with…
This voice is powerful!
It’s none other than the sweet voice of Jesus Christ, and everything He wants us to hear is already printed in His Word.
If you didn’t catch it the first time, I’ll tell it to you plain:
This is good news!
Because one thing I’ve observed about myself is that I have a bad habit of talking to myself not according to His Word, but through my own imagination. You know—the place where we entertain our own seemingly realistic scenarios and filter them through a distorted version of reality, convincing ourselves to believe lies that we didn’t even stop to wonder whether or not are true, inevitably leading us to talk to ourselves like we’re piles of dirt.
Yes—that place.
If we let it, our imagination can run rampant and lead us down the rabbit hole of stinking thinking. But, here’s a reminder that I have to tell myself and a reminder you might want to consider as well:
Our imagination isn’t real.
God’s Word is.
And, it’s about time we let His Word be the mediator in every conversation we have with ourselves.
So, without further ado, I want to introduce two truthful and victorious ways to have healthy self-talk:
- Affirm yourself in the Word of God.
- Align your thoughts with His.
I call this the double A battery, if you will. Affirm and align, friends. This is the way to win in the area of self-talk.
(But, PSST: Neither of these steps are possible if we don’t know what His Word says in the first place.)
Now, I’m not too sure what you’ve heard about the Word of God, but if you’ve heard anything other than the entire book being a beautiful love story of God redeeming the world, who rebelled against Him after He created it, through the precious blood of His Only Son Jesus Christ, then it isn’t true. The Bible—God’s Word—is the greatest reason why we should pursue victory in the area of self-talk.
Everything in His Word was written because He loves you. Every story told, every miracle, every commandment recorded is not to demonstrate how much He’s against you, but instead is there to remind you of how much He is for you. And, the Word He has spoken over you in the Bible is the word He wants you to speak over yourself in your mind.
What I’m saying is this:
There is power in our words, but the ultimate power lies in His Word. And in His Word, specifically Philippians 4:8, He makes it pretty clear through the wonderful writings of Apostle Paul what He wants our thoughts to consist of:
“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”
And, hey, I must admit:
That’s a pretty powerful list—a great filter to use when it comes to our self-talk.
If the thought coming your way is not true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy, don’t let it in. And, if you’ve already let it in, don’t let it stay! It’s time we watch what we let in and out of our minds. The mind is where God can speak, and it would be a shame if you let your own destructive voice become louder than His truth.
Therefore, let this be an encouragement to us all. Let’s choose to tune into the Word of God. Let’s affirm ourselves in His Word by telling ourselves that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, according to Psalms 139:14, and that we are His masterpiece, destined to do incredible things for the Kingdom of God, according to Ephesians 2:10, and that we were made in His image, according to Genesis 1:26, and that through His sufficient grace, even when we are weak, we can still be strong, according to 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.
Meditating on these things and more in His Word is what can help us fulfill the next step:
When we affirm ourselves in the word of God, we can align our thoughts with His.
After all, His thoughts are higher than our thoughts and His ways are higher than our ways, according to Isaiah 55:9. It’s time we talked to ourselves through His perspective!
So, let this be the topic of discussion in your mind from now until forevermore. Let your self-talk be all about Jesus. Hold His voice to the highest esteem. For it is up to you to watch the words you tell yourself in your mind, and the only conversation you should have is what He’s already spoken about you in His Word.
At twenty years old, Ayana is an author, a blogger, and the host of “To Be Heard” Podcast. In 2018, she self-published her first novel, titled, How I Fell in Love with Myself, and is currently working on her second. She is a former English & Journalism major, currently taking online writing classes from a school based in New York. As she continues to pursue a career in writing, she aims to bring relevant messages of faith, redemption, hope & self esteem to you & others around the world.
by Alex Seeley | Jul 27, 2021 | Healing, Life Advice, Testimonies
For many years, I struggled to believe that God had made me beautiful. As I got older, I became increasingly uncomfortable with my changing body. I was an Italian girl growing up in Australia, where most of the girls were blonde and blue-eyed. For some reason, those features were prettier to me. I had thick, curly black hair that, when I let it out, made me look like a wild woman with unruly hair. Combing out those tangles was a nightmare. I used to stare at the mirror and tell myself how ugly I was and pull my hair out from the roots to punish myself.
I remember wishing someone would break my nose, so I would have an excuse to have a rhinoplasty. I was already feeling awkward in my preteen body, but to add insult to injury, my mum would often say, “Be careful not to eat too much; it will make you large and unattractive.” Wow! Just like that, Satan’s lie began to stain my mind. I vowed to never let myself get big, because I was convinced I would be unacceptable and unlovable if I did.
I believed Satan’s lie. He said if I could make the outside of my body perfect, then I would be acceptable to those around me. Preoccupied with how perfect my body needed to be, I became obsessed with what I ate and how I could reverse what I had just eaten. For years, I struggled with my body image. There were times I would be in conversation with people and look as if I were listening, when in fact, I was mentally calculating calories and planning a new strategy of starvation. The thinner I was, the more affirmation I received from those around me. I became addicted to the verbal affirmation about my outward appearance, which fueled the eating disorder that dictated my life. I was so starved for affirmation and validation that I starved my physical body to obtain what I thought would bring me joy. But it was exhausting and never brought me the security I was longing for.
Why do we try to reach an unattainable goal of outward perfection? Because somewhere along the way, we have bought into Satan’s lie that our bodies are flawed and that in order to be loved, we need to make our bodies look perfect. Plastic surgeons are laughing all the way to the bank because of this very lie. Many people are unhappy with their exterior and truly believe if they can look a certain way, then they will be fulfilled.
During those years I certainly was not happy with the way I looked. I had a long list of issues with how God made me. I thought my design was flawed and wondered why God made me unattractive and other girls beautiful. I was so focused on the exterior that I missed the fact that God had tailor-made me from the inside out—and that what He made was very good because He doesn’t make mistakes.
God designed me to be unique from the other girls, not to conform to the one- size-fits-all ideal that Satan tries to deceive us into thinking we must achieve. However, all I cared about was what I was supposed to look like according to what the girls in my classroom and the magazines said I should look like. It made perfect sense in my mind that if I somehow achieved physical beauty on the outside, then my life would automatically be beautiful on the inside and all my problems would dissolve.
What I didn’t realize while growing up was that I was broken and bruised on the inside—which was why I felt so ugly on the outside. Until I came to the realization that God needed to come into my heart and fix what was broken, I was continually chasing a false reality of outward perfection.
So, for years I struggled with rejection and body image issues. I rationalized and justified my behavior, unwilling to admit what was really going on. I hid behind lies and excuses for my eating disorder because I was afraid that if I shared the truth with anyone, they would reject and judge me. I couldn’t bear the possibility of being rejected again. I lived in constant turmoil. I tried in my own way to be free, but I couldn’t seem to gain freedom in the areas of body image and acceptance. I would stare at myself in the mirror, spewing words over myself: “You’re disgusting.” “You’re fat.” “How can anyone even stand to look at you?” On and on went the verbal abuse.
My heart was so wounded by the words that had been spoken over me as a child that I continually reinforced every word about how ugly I was. I put on a fantastic façade, one that could have earned me an Oscar. I convinced everyone around me that I was free when I really wasn’t.
It took me surrendering my whole heart to Jesus and allowing Him to come in and heal the most vulnerable places. Once I allowed Jesus to reveal the core wound and allow Him to heal it, I received healing in a place in my heart that I had not allowed anyone to visit. I realized if a God who is so big and powerful
took the time to be so detailed in creating me, then I have no excuse to be anything but glorious for Him—for I was fearfully and wonderfully made in His image. I discovered that I was good enough as me. It was as if I became a new person, but I was actually just discovering myself—finally. I had thrown out all the junk that had piled on top of who I was born to be. The clutter had been in the way, burying who I was.
Piece by piece, Jesus removed the debris I had accumulated over the years. Every lie I believed about myself was lifted, and I discovered a pot of gold that had always been living inside of me buried deep down. I discovered that I was valuable. I discovered that I was creative and intelligent. I discovered that people loved being around me. I discovered that I had a unique sense of style. I finally saw that Alex was a good person. Everything started to change. I wore what I wanted. I ate what I wanted. I did what I liked for the first time in years, and I didn’t care what anyone thought.
I began to allow God’s voice to become the loudest voice in my heart. After many layers of healing, I had to go through the grieving process of all those years that felt wasted because of my insecurities. When I look back at photos of myself during that season, it’s astounding to see the difference between then and now. I look older and so very sad in those old pictures. I now love who I am and know that I was born to leave a mark that no one else but me can leave.
I can’t believe I used to feel so ugly; I can’t believe I allowed those feelings to skew my ability to trust deeply because I was afraid that those who came close could potentially hurt me. Then I began to see myself how God sees me. I allowed God to heal my heart. By yielding to Him, I entered the process of being transformed into a beautiful daughter who found her security and identity in belonging to my heavenly Father, which has helped me rise above all insecurity and fear.
This post was taken from our LO sister workshop: “The Powerful Workshop”! To learn more from Alex, Shelley Giglio, Bianca Olthoff, and more (all include video teaching from each contributor!), click HERE and join our community today!
Alex is a passionate communicator and teacher of the Word. Possessing a unique ability to reveal how the Word of God is applicable to our everyday lives, Alex shares openly about how the power of God has proven real in her own life. Known for her boldness and tenacity, you’ll love the way Jesus shines through her. Born and raised in Australia, Alex served as an Executive Pastor at a church in Melbourne for nearly 20 years.
Having relocated with her family to Nashville in 2012, Alex and her husband Henry, began to open their home on Tuesday nights. Their heart was for people to worship, encounter God and build genuine community in a city where people’s personal and spiritual lives often succumb to the transient nature of ‘life on the road’. By February 2014, their basement was filled to capacity and as a result The Belonging Co. church was born. The vision of the Belonging Co. is for people to experience Jesus in an authentic way that affects every area of their life. Encounter over entertainment, intimacy over industry and presence over presentation continues to be the mandate for the church.
As Senior Pastors of the Belonging Co., Alex and Henry call Nashville home where they live with their two children, Holly and Taylor.
by Emily Whatley | Jul 22, 2021 | Healing, Life Advice, Testimonies
Note from Team LO: We are SO excited to bring you this month’s post from our LO sister member, Emily Whatley! If you want to be a part of this incredible community, you can join today and get your first week FREE! Find out more about this online sisterhood HERE. And for more info about what LO sister is all about, visit our Instagram Page!
Now, enjoy today’s post from Emily 🙂
_________________
If you were to ask me this time last year if I struggled with depression, my mouth would have told you no. But if I had been honest with myself and those around me, I would’ve said that I had been depressed for a while and had shoved it deep down, that it had always been a part of who I was and had just become normal. There are moments in my life where I can pinpoint where I was really struggling yet decided to ignore it, but it wasn’t until this past winter that it had gotten to a point where I couldn’t push it away any longer and was able to let my mouth say,
“yes, and I need help”
Today, a year later, I can thankfully say that I am in the best mental state I have been in a long time and am the best version of myself both physically, mentally, and spiritually. There’s so much I want to and will share about what I’ve learned to get there where I am today, but I know the #1 reason that I was able to get better is because I sought out help, both from a counselor and most importantly God. Through seeking help, I’ve been able to process my feelings better and learn ways to cope and handle my thoughts, and through seeking the Lord, I have been able to learn so much about what it means to have joy, a deep-rooted happiness in the Lord.
This summer I got the opportunity to work as a camp counselor, and during pre-camp, we were asked to pick a word to focus on during our time at camp. Immediately, I knew my word would be JOY. Not because it was a small word and would easily fit on a bracelet we would make the next week, but because I knew that there were going to be days this summer that were long, hard, tough, and exhausting. And for me to do my job well and continue to keep myself well, I needed to have joy and a renewed strength to get through each and every day.
“Nehemiah said, ‘Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.’” (Nehemiah 8:10)
The Bible says in Nehemiah that “the joy of the Lord is your strength”. That when we have joy, we can be strong. I’ve always looked at this verse as that, where if I’m happy in the Lord then I’ll find strength. But I think there’s so much more to it than it being that simple. Because to find strength, we have to recognize that we are weak. We have to see that we can’t do something on our own and have to find this inner power to push through and press on. And I think it’s the same way in our day to day lives. That when we understand that we’re tired and need help to put on a brave face, that we’re drained and need someone to give us the willpower to make it to the end of the day, someone who can give us a joy and strength that we cannot experience ourselves.
It took me a while to get to this point myself. For so long, I tried to hide my feelings and do everything in my own strength. I was the one who had to be strong, to take care of myself, to keep moving while hurting so deeply inside. But my feelings had become so strong that they were too big to ignore anymore, and my every day life was being affected. I knew I needed help but kept telling myself that I wasn’t that bad off and would get over it soon. But once I admitted I wasn’t okay and sought out help, God was able to transform my mind and give me a strength that can only be found when we are fully happy in Him. And when we’re able to find joy and escape the sadness, it’s not just something we keep inside; joy flows from the inside out for those around us to see! I wanted to picked joy as my word this summer because I never thought I was good at showing it and needed to work on it, but it ended up being something I was defined by because it had become a part of who I was. I realized that I needed help each and every day of my life, and in realizing my weakness, I was able to find joy and be strong.
“That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:10)
There are so many long, hard, tough, and exhausting days in life. We all can agree that life is not always sunshines and rainbows. And on those difficult days, we try to ignore our feelings, putting walls up and forcing a smile on our face so that we can be strong. But when we do this, we only leave ourselves more hurt than we were before. When we humble ourselves and seek help, understand that we sometimes can’t do things on our own, and realize that when we are weak He is our strength, we can find this deep-rooted happiness in the Lord because we know that He is all we have and all we will ever need. And that is when we truly will be strong.
If you are struggling with mental health, know that you are not alone. There are many people who feel what you’re feeling and understand exactly what you’re going through. But most importantly, know that God will never leave you nor forsake you, and that you too can find joy and strength in Him.
by Kassidy Brougham | Jul 20, 2021 | Life Advice, Testimonies
This is a part of my testimony that I have never shared beyond a few close friends and family but I know how much other peoples testimonies have helped me so I pray this helps someone too.
I grew up in a Christian home and went to church every Sunday. I felt like I was doing a decent job at being a “good christian.” I attended church, I was in a small group, I prayed before meals and before bed, and I was set on saving my purity for my wedding night. In high school I watched as everyone around me was losing their virginity. I stood out because I wouldn’t cross that boundary and was saving myself for marriage. I felt like I was doing something right. So much so that my identity as a Christian became all about my purity.
I went to college and was in a really hard place in life. I moved thousands of miles away to cheer in college and did not know anyone. I was already in a hard place before moving so my strength in Christ was not what I was relying on. I will never forget September 29th of my freshman year. As a 2 year school a lot of the Navarro alumni cheered at a University about 5 hours away from us. It was a big game day weekend and a huge group of us drove up for the weekend to go to the game. After the game we all went to hangout at someone’s apartment. The details of this night are not what is important for this story but this night changed everything. I had just had the one thing taken from me that I was holding onto. That was supposed to be for my future husband on our wedding day. I felt like I went from “good Christian” to how could I even be a Christian after this? I lost my identity. I was a wreck. For weeks. For months.
Since my identity was in the idea of being pure I lost that identity the day I lost that.
Sometimes we put our identity in things that take our focus off of Christ. Sometimes those things aren’t even terrible things. Desiring to be pure was not a bad desire but it became a bad thing when I put my identity in it. No good or bad actions can take away our true identity when we root that identity in Christ.
I just got engaged to the person this purity should have been saved for. We got engaged in the same town that I lost that part of me. Coincidence? I don’t think so. God heals. He healed my brokenness and gave me a Godly man. The same place I felt my world crash down on me is the same place that I felt on top of the world to someone who I get to spend the rest of life with glorifying God. Praise Jesus. I know now more than ever that my identity is Christ and Christ alone.
There is no such thing as a “good Christian.” We all fall short. BUT that’s okay. Romans 3:23 states that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Verse 24 shows us that through grace we are saved by the redemption from Christ Jesus. No sin can separate us from God. He forgives. He heals.
So how can we root our identity in Christ? The first question we should ask ourselves is “What am I putting my identity in?” When we put our identity in anything other than God we will be left empty and seeking more. Identity can be broken into three parts: who you are, the way you think about yourself, and the way you are viewed.
Who am I?
Our only identity is in Christ.
1 John 3:1-2 states “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. 2 Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.”
We are children of God. We are called to be like Christ. In order to know who we are we must also know who Christ is. Being in the Word and in relationship with our God is the only way to know and learn who Christ is.
How am I viewed?
I think that the more important question here is “How does God see us?” Once we know the truth of who God created us to be we will find our true identity. This is discussed in Ephesians 1:13. I like how the Message version states that “It’s in Christ that you, once you heard the truth and believed it, found yourselves home free—signed, sealed, and delivered by the Holy Spirit..” Ephesians 1:13
Not only do we need to know the truth but we must believe it in order to be free. So how does God view us? God does not look at our outward appearance. There is no look, no number on a scale, and no perfect skin that can define us. 1 Samuel 16:7 clearly states that God does not look at our outward appearance because He looks at our heart. We need to see ourselves as the creation of the almighty God. He chose each of us to be His child and creation. My favorite verse to look back on is Psalm 139:13-16 where it is clear that God knitted us into fearfully and wonderfully made children. He “intricately wove” us. How cool is that? We should view ourselves as God views us. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. Beautiful in God’s image. Created for a purpose.
What do I think about myself?
This was the hardest part for me. I felt broken. I felt unworthy. Negative self talk had to go and I knew it. In order for that negative self talk to go, I had to replace it. I love using “‘I am” statements because that is what helped me fill my mind with what God says about me. I always start with “I am a daughter of God.” Another way to get rid of the negative thoughts is to journal. When my mind is spiraling I will write down what and how I am feeling and then go back and cross out any negative or false statements in my head replacing them with the truth. I am worthy.
When we root our identity in Christ it cannot be shaken.
5 Applicable Tips to Root our Identity in Christ
1. Read the Bible
2. Seek a God-centered community and help if needed
3. Learn to say yes to things of God and no to things of the world
4. Pray for anything and everything
5. Speak truth over yourself and/or find someone like a mentor who will
Kassidy cheered in college at Navarro College and is now a personal trainer while using fitness to lead others to Christ. She strives to encourage women to be confident in who God created them to be. She lives in Arizona currently and loves cooking, working out, flowers, and boba!
Follow Kassidy on Instagram @kassidywarnol
by Victoria James | Jul 15, 2021 | Life Advice, Testimonies
Mercedes Benz stadium filled with 65,000 decreeing and declaring the goodness of God “There’s nothing our God can’t do.” This is the start of the roaring ’20s. May the Glory of God be shown in the land of the living. Passion 2020.
Months later……
Good evening America, today. The Coronavirus is now a global health emergency. Stay at home orders filled the cities, loved ones dying alone, schools shut down, workers laid off, small businesses closed, Grocery shelves empty, Death toll approximately 375,000.
Asian Americans experiencing hate and blame. Lives took in the hands of law enforcement. Protest across the nations, screaming black lives matter. Blackout Tuesday Squares bursting Instagram timelines. Rage swept the hearts of the unheard and marginalized. Buildings were burning. Political upheaval, chants that filled the US Make America Great Again, protest against mask-wearing, Pages of Social Media demanding “We must Cancel you. Exposure to unfaithful preachers and teachers, pulpits speechless, members leaving the church, and division is now to the light where all can see. 2020, will you choose aside?
2020
What do you do when you hear those numbers? Do you hide and wish it never happened? Do you grieve the tragedies that took place? Do you mourn the loss of loved ones? Do you become denial hoping 2020 was just a dream? Do you choose sides? Do you become angry at so much loss? Do you feel the wave of depression seeping into your attention? Do you panic and make partnership with fear? Do you see the flashback of hardship? Do you hear the cries of the hurting? Or do you scroll past it, becoming desensitized to the global experience of 2020?
The truth is this list of questions can go on and on. In transparency, 2020, for me, was a world of things from covid crises, uprise in the exposure of injustice, 2020 experienced two pandemics that shook the core, the heart, and the eyes of the world. Have the eyes of the people been shut? I believe there was a shaking that required us to look at what we believe to be true about God, those around us, and ourselves.
In transparency, the truth is, all I could hear and see were the lost lives because of racial tension and police brutality. Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, and it continues. Regardless of where you stand, lives were lost. The black community alongside others was crushed and yet a continuation of grieving a never-ending cycle of “Who’s next, could it be me?” Names that hit the headlines filled the streets with protest and demand for equality, equity, human rights. All I could do was think of my parents, brothers, sisters, cousins, and friends.
I was overwhelmed with anger, sadness, exhaustion, and grief. I wanted to give up. I wanted to quit my relationships with my friends who didn’t look like me, exempt myself from majority-white spaces, and call the shots myself. I wanted to choose a side because you know that is a lot easier. I hit a wall; either I was going to stay and build a wall of self-protection, or I could allow the Lord to come close and rewrite the narrative, not erasing the reality but seeing through the reality with his eyes. This wall, for sure, is the “I AM FINE”; this wall holds the banner of blame and shame. When the sun shined, it gave a blinding shade of desensitization. Side effects that penetrated the soul with numbness, confusion, emptiness, hatred, and loneliness. In his kindness and compassion, I had this vision; in the vision, it was Jesus and me; in the distance was the chaos of the world of 2020 on role-play. I saw him display a rage of emotions, and he asked me this question that speared the wall to crumble.
“Let me restore your soul and give you the mind of Christ,” and with my yes to him, speared the wall into crumbles. I received his heart; my language started to shift, the way I viewed others, the way I dealt with hardship, I never thought I could begin to love others who have mistreated me or those who do not care for racial Reconciliation. It all shifted when I said yes to receiving the restoration. The Lord gives us full permission to feel and offers an alternative (known as the instead.) I am learning to live in the beautiful tension that God sent his son Jesus for the oppressed and the oppressors. There I saw the promise of deep joy in trials, and I saw a miracle happen for myself; the healing of the heart produces a sound mind.
Things come to life when we say yes to the mind of Christ. June 25, 2020, was the day I received the message that changed my life. Sadie and Team Live Original reached out with an opportunity to partner with them. To serve and bring Christ-centered content to social media and Live Original Sister. I was surprised that a ministry would reach out to black voices during such a chaotic time in our country. The Lord opened my eyes to see that this is what the work of unity looks like fighting for change, to bring different perspectives and history with God. I commend Live Original for taking the steps that brought diversity and inclusion. Live Original made it clear that their heart is to carry the spirit of the Lord. His heart is for us all to take hand and hand, all image bearers, together in unity, bringing the Peace of God.
Announcing joining Live Original, I received a few messages over the months I decided to put together. “Seeing you with Live Original gave me hope again before I wanted to call it quits. To see you doing the work of unity, I, too, no longer want to give up. I am grateful for this.”
Opening to the truth, I saw it takes the mind of Christ to heal and reconcile. To know the truth that where there is unity, there is strength. The Lord poured out his oil on the pain and fear that gave us the courage to reveal oppression. He wanted us to experience being fought for in a community. Partnering with Live Original, the Lord rebuilt trust by forming new bridges of connection and love. It has been an honor to serve with this team, and I cannot wait to see what the Lord does through the unification as the body of Christ. I believe this can happen for each of us when we begin to seek the mind of Christ; it is powerful, it brings life, and it heals. God’s mind brings restoration to the land and hearts of all people, groups, and nations.
We must continue in the work of representation, partnership, and unification; it matters.
There is beauty in learning a new way, the Lord’s way. May we offer others love instead of rage. Unity is worth fighting for—experiencing the peace of God.
And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.
Colossians 3:15 NIV
Victoria Dynasty James is a friend of God. You can always find her giving encouraging words on Instagram @victoria.dynasty and in person. Her prayer is that others will come to know the value of friendship with Jesus.
by Katherine Wolf | Jul 13, 2021 | Life Advice, Perspective, Testimonies
After being raised in the South by women who dared not leave the house without lipstick, then subsequently working as an actress and model in my early twenties, my relationship to beauty and satisfaction with my body feel complex at best. That complexity exponentially multiplied after I suffered a massive brain stem stroke at age 26, just a few months after giving birth to my first child.
In the blink of an eye, I could no longer walk, talk, swallow, drive, or care for my son. The soft postpartum tummy and bags under my sleep-deprived eyes suddenly paled in comparison to the reality of drooping facial muscles and limbs that no longer responded to neurological commands. My body had become distinctly different after pregnancy. Now, after a catastrophic stroke, it was altogether foreign.
Over years spent in physical rehabilitation, I learned new ways of navigating the world in my modified state. But, even in the healing and adapting, my body remained alien to me. To this day, my face is partially paralyzed, I require a wheelchair to get around, I have severe double-vision, and my fine motor control is mostly gone. I struggled to love my body when it was “normal.” How was I expected to love it now?
So many of us have internalized messages that we must meet certain metrics to be accepted. You’ve gotta look good while you do good. You’ve gotta pull it all together and not let anything unappealing hang out. You’ve gotta be enough but also not too much. In other words, to be loved by others requires that we put in a lot of effort and put on a lot of makeup.
Beneath our pursuit of external beauty and eternal youth is both a deep fear—to escape death—and a deep longing—to be loved without having to earn it. Our pain-avoidant and death-phobic culture tries to calm our fears of aging with every manner of creams, injections, and workout classes. Buy this. Eat that. Be young and beautiful forever.
While my stroke stole much of my independence and traditional “beauty,” it also disabused me of the illusion that death can be outrun. I met death when I was 26. The sweeping magnitude of that experience means I no longer participate in the fruitless charade of covering up my flaws or concealing my brokenness—both physical and emotional— because I now know that life is simply too tenuous to carry the burden of shame.
Being satisfied in our skin isn’t so much about looking the right way. It’s about surrendering the shame surrounding our deficits. When our eyes move past our own navels and onto the panoramic view of the goodness of existence, shame no longer has a place in us. Spending our time picking apart imperfections and shelling out resources to fix flaws will prove to be a tragic waste in the end. Shame is a costly habit with a paltry return on investment.
The body positivity movement, which rejects a narrow beauty standard and celebrates a wide spectrum of bodies, has brought healing to so many people by challenging the baseless status quo of how a body is supposed to look, and I applaud that. Lately, however, I’ve been intrigued by the concept of body neutrality, which focuses on what our bodies can do rather than how our bodies look. As a woman with physical disabilities, even body neutrality is a complex practice to engage because my body no longer does so many of the things it used to. So how can I befriend my body when it doesn’t always measure up to standards of beauty or utility?
While my hands don’t always cooperate and my gait is wobbly, this body of mine tirelessly serves as my only available interface with existence itself. My broken brain, eyes with double vision, and paralyzed vocal cords continue to ping signals of beauty from the outside world, from inside my mind, and from the heart of God. I’ve come to appreciate that the interplay of my inner being and outer form are the very embodiment of the cruciform life: Christ’s perfect power playing out through imperfect flesh-and-blood means.
We can be grateful for each facet of our inner and outer selves because God blends the beautiful stuff and the broken stuff to create the lives, families, passions and purposes we have today. We can train ourselves to celebrate the cellulite because it’s sprinkled on the body that allows us to engage that existence. And by walking away from the shame of what I should look like and how I should function, I’m robbing the fear of death of its power. I’m choosing to use my one precious body to fully engage my one precious life, while believing the best comes after the death of this body. The wrinkling and softening of age feel less scary when I reframe them as mile markers along the rich journey to eternity with God.
I’m training myself to not merely tolerate but celebrate my broken brain and body because they didn’t ruin my perfect life. Rather, they gave me the gift of a good/hard life. Because my outer body has suffered, my inner life has flourished. I have reframed my deficits as grounding truths that remind me my worth was never tied to my facial symmetry or fitness level. I am freed from the crippling burden of chasing youth or the perfect figure because my gaze is fixed on the grace gift of existing rather than the shame of imperfection.
When I look at my paralyzed face, I see a woman in the process of transformation. When I see stretch marks from pregnancy, I see the beautiful children who came from my body. When I see stretch marks that aren’t from pregnancy, I see bountiful feasts I’ve enjoyed. When I see bags under my tired eyes, I see a hard-won second chance at life. When my standard of beauty is redemption, not weight; when it’s sacrifice, not self-absorption; when it’s new life, not chasing youth gone by, I can see how my body embodies the grace gift of a second chance at simply existing.
This excerpt is taken from The Powerful Workshop inside the LO sister app and written by the amazing Katherine Wolf! LO sister is all about championing women to live out their purpose. We believe that happens with prayer, support and encouragement. If you’re searching for a safe place to be heard, share, and encourage others in their lives, too, this is the community for you, friend! Join here!
Katherine is a communicator and advocate. She leverages her redemptive story to encourage those with broken bodies, broken brains, and broken hearts. Engaging both faith-based and secular communities, she seeks to bridge the gap between those disabled on the outside and those disabled on the inside with the hope that Jesus brings healing to the deepest pains we all carry. She currently reside in Atlanta Ga with her husband Jay and two sons, James and John. To connect, visit hopeheals.com or @hopeheals
